Template:集数抄本
注 1：红色的台词在義大利被剪掉。
注 2：蓝色的台词在印度尼西亚被剪掉。
注 3：栗色的台词在 1999 年版本被剪掉。
- 【紧接着海绵宝宝主题歌，简短的开头标题展示创建者史蒂芬·海伦伯格、德里克、德里蒙和其他人的名称。本集以泡泡过渡开始，我们看见海底的珊瑚暗礁。相机突然扩大开始视差卷动，显示比奇堡城。他继续扩大展示一个褐色的石头、一个石像头和一个凤梨，个自包含居民。】
- 旁白哥：啊，大海啊……那么迷人。那么美好。在我们的比奇堡里，有好多的生物。【从左到右展示派大星、章鱼哥和海绵宝宝的住家。突然扩大到海绵宝宝的住家。】我最喜欢的海洋生物，可爱的海绵宝宝。对啦，他当然住在凤梨屋里，傻瓜。【转场到住家的卧室。一只海蜗牛在一堆报纸附近睡着，一只扇贝在一个鸟笼里，还有一块年轻、乐观的海绵在他的床上睡觉，打鼾时他的雾角闹钟滴答响。海绵宝宝的闹钟随即响了。他醒来了，但对这讨厌的声音很自然，他的脸上挂着微笑，关掉了它。他从他的床上爬到一个梯子上，他的前方是跳水版。】
- 海绵宝宝：今天是大日子，小蜗！
- 小蜗：喵。
- 海绵宝宝：【在他的跳水板上跳】你看，我……【跳起来，他的小裤裤丢在后面】……全身光溜溜！【着陆在他的裤裤里，走入健身室。他的头从他的裤裤顶部取出。】今天我必须秀出最健美的身材，小蜗。
- 小蜗：喵。
- 海绵宝宝：【深呼吸，他准备举起一个由两个轻重量填充动物玩具平衡的杠铃。他鼓起他的胸膛，但是几乎昏倒因为他勉强能举起它。他放下它，他发出了一种“啾啾叫”的噪音】我最棒！！！ 【跑到外面去】我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒，我最棒！[a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts upwards with him stuck to its underside.]
- 派大星：加油，海绵宝宝！ [falls] Whoa! [crash sound effect]
- SpongeBob (1997 Version): I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [SpongeBob jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants]
- Narrator (1997 Version) : SpongeBob SquarePants! [It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal]
- SpongeBob：[runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [He starts to run home, but Patrick stops him.] 嘿，派大星——
- Patrick：Where do you think you're going?
- 海绵宝宝：我只是……
- 派大星：不，你不是。You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!
- 海绵宝宝：我不能，你不明白吗？I'm not good enough.
- Patrick：Whose first words were "May I take your order?"?
- 海绵宝宝：是我。
- Patrick：Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?
- 海绵宝宝：是我。
- Patrick：[grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uhh, oh! And who's a big yellow cube with holes?
- 海绵宝宝：是我！
- 派大星：谁最棒？
- 海绵宝宝：我最棒！
- 派大星：谁最棒？
- 海绵宝宝：我最棒！
- 派大星：谁最棒？!
- 海绵宝宝：我最棒！I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [runs toward the Krusty Krab. An octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows.]
- Squidward Tentacles：[cleaning graffiti of himself with the word "loser," sees SpongeBob, and sighs] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?
- SpongeBob：[in background, at first while Squidward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, self! [Squidward looks at the Help Wanted sign, screams, and runs inside.]
- Squidward：[While SpongeBob says, "I'm ready," one more time in the background] Mr. Krabs! [cuts to the ordering window, where a greedy crab is seen happily sniffing a handful of money. Squidward runs up to him.] Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you- [interrupted by SpongeBob]
- 海绵宝宝：请准许上船，船长。[deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew [normal voice] and now I'm ready. [SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. Mr. Krabs and Squidward look at each other. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling. SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs.] So, uh, when do I start?
- 蟹洛 Krabs：Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
- 海绵宝宝：蟹 Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. [Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]
- Squidward：[deep breath] No. [Mr. Krabs winks. They head back to SpongeBob, who looks completely puzzled at what he's hearing]
- 蟹 Krabs：Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me... [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive. [more scribbling] And don't come back ‘til you get one. [Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head. SpongeBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile]
- 海绵宝宝：【向蟹老板敬礼】是的，船长！[reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, Sir!
- 蟹 Krabs：Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.
- 章鱼哥：你好坏啊。A hydro-what? [Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh. While Squidward laughs, his nose moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Krabs laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab. As SpongeBob fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Krusty Krab from the opposite direction.]
- 公交车司机：嘿！Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their fins out the window! [The buses surround the Krusty Krab and the doors open; Mr. Krabs stops laughing.]
- 蟹 Krabs：[gasps] That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... [his eyes widen] Anchovies.
- 章鱼哥：什么？
- 蟹 Krabs：Anchovies!! [Anchovies get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Krab, crowding, repeating the word "meep" over and over again]
- 章鱼哥：拜托，拜托，安静！[Anchovies stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmmm?
- 沙丁鱼：咪。
- Squidward：Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? [The anchovies stare for a moment, then pick up the boat, as their cries of "meep!" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as SpongeBob enters.]
- SpongeBob：[singing to himself] ♪ Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. ♪ [cuts back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still in the boat register, and being tossed around like a ship in a storm.]
- 蟹 Krabs：All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!
- 章鱼哥：我只是叫他们排队！
- 蟹 Krabs：Whoa! [Mr. Krabs and Squidward are thrown up in the air] Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! [they get thrown back up again; the boat is in splinters] We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward! [they get thrown back up again, with Krabs clutching Squidward] I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart]
- SpongeBob：[singing] ♪ Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. ♪ [cuts back to the Krusty Krab]
- 章鱼哥：救命！
- 蟹 Krabs：Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! [They climb the mast, while the anchovies try to get them down. The anchovies then form a big wave.]
- 沙丁鱼：咪！Meep!
- 蟹 Krabs：This is the end! Goodbye, Mr. Squidward!
- 章鱼哥：哦，蟹老板！[They cry, then SpongeBob comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune]
- 海绵宝宝：请准许上船船长！Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?
- Squidward and Mr. Krabs：[stuttering in shock at SpongeBob getting the hydrodynamic spatula]
- 海绵宝宝：没错！One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Squidward and Mr. Krabs in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! 【转向沙丁鱼】谁饿了？！[Tiny Tim's "Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" plays while SpongeBob serves up Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty. Numerous Krabby Patties are launched through the order window to the hungry anchovies. Eventually, all of the anchovies are served and they leave on the buses. SpongeBob blows the spatula. Cuts to later.]
- 蟹 Krabs：That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard. [Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob a name tag]
- Squidward：B-but, but, Mr. Krabs...
- 蟹 Krabs：Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!
- 章鱼哥：【虚弱地】万岁，蟹——
- 蟹 Krabs：Hip-hip!
- 章鱼哥：【迅速地】万岁。
- 蟹 Krabs：Hip-hip!
- 章鱼哥：【迅速地】万岁。Mr. Krabs—
- 蟹 Krabs：I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [He wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. Patrick enters]
- 派大星：早安，蟹堡王员工！
- 章鱼哥：请问你要点什么，派大星？
- 派大星：一份美味蟹堡，谢谢。[The instrumental to "Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight" starts playing. SpongeBob flies back to the kitchen, using his spatula, and a score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which collide with Patrick and send him flying out of the Krusty Krab. Cuts to Krusty Krab exterior; crashing noises.]
- 派大星：【尖叫】
- 章鱼哥：蟹 Krabs! Mr. Krabs! [singsong] Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee...!!!