Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

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"I can't hear you! It's too dark in here!"

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You Can't Keep a Good Sponge Down is a SpongeBob SquarePants book written by David Lewman. It was published in August 2004 and has 96 pages.


"This book contains various ways to "get happy," according to SpongeBob. These include singing, getting naked, blowing bubbles, and believing in yourself."


This book contains many quotes, some from episodes of the show:

  • "I am a happy sponge!" - SpongeBob, "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve"
  • "It's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret. Thereby adding another secret onto their secret collection of secrets... secretly!" - SpongeBob, "The Secret Box"
  • "Let's get this over with so I can go home and play my clarinet!" - Squidward, "Bubble Buddy"
  • "I feel all TINGLY inside. Should we stop?" - Plankton, "F.U.N."
  • "I'm thinking of all the fun I'm going to have with this piece of paper." - SpongeBob, "The Paper"
  • "See how wonderful life can be when you're MANIACAL?" - Plankton, "Walking Small"
  • "People used to tell me, 'Patrick, you'll never amount to anything; you'll always have your head in the clouds.' But just look at me now!" - Patrick, "Neptune's Spatula"
  • "Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it!" - SpongeBob, "Tea at the Treedome"
  • "I'm going to prove that I don't need all this stuff to be happy. Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me." - SpongeBob, "Nature Pants"
  • "I'm not letting go! Nothing will stop me! Not even... giant clams?! I'm not letting go even for... cheese graters?! If you think I'm letting go for a little educational television?! Oh, no!" - SpongeBob, "No Free Rides"
  • "Okay, you can do this, Puff. You can get through it without losing your sanity. That's a road we don't want to go down again. Positives! Think of the positives!" - Mrs. Puff, "No Free Rides"
  • "I may not have the Krabby Patty recipe, but I've still got Chumbalaya!" - Plankton
  • "Don't worry, guys! It grows back!" - SpongeBob, "Scaredy Pants"
  • "Let's sing our own song about the joy of staying indoors. I know of a plaaaace... where you never get haaaarmed... a magical plaaaace... with magical chaaaarms... Indoors! Indoors!" - SpongeBob, "I Had an Accident"
  • "Oh, how touching. I'm going home to throw up." - Squidward
  • "Oops! I guess I ripped my pants... again." - SpongeBob, "Ripped Pants"
  • "We've got to do something else. Something with...walkie-talkies!" - SpongeBob, "Hall Monitor"
  • "SpongeBob is the only guy I know that can have fun with a jellyfish. For 12 hours!" - Squidward, "Jellyfish Jam"
  • "Woof!" - Gary, "Opposite Day"
  • "I can't give up! I've got to try! I can do it! I've got Anchor Arms!" - SpongeBob, "MuscleBob BuffPants"
  • "After all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that—that just wasn't fair!" - Plankton
  • "I'm learning!" - Patrick
  • "SpongeBob, would you please stop leaving your trousers on my front lawn?" - Squidward, "I Was a Teenage Gary"
  • "Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest. Now say 'tax exemption.'" - Patrick, "Grandma's Kisses"
  • "Life's as extreme as you wanna make it!" - SpongeBob, "Prehibernation Week"
  • "Wow! I can't believe it! We're finally here at the biannual jellyfish and vintage car convention!" - SpongeBob, "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic"
  • "As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking." - Plankton
  • "Clam wrestling!" - Sandy, "I Had an Accident"
  • "That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you play make it sound more original!" - SpongeBob, "The Paper"
  • "Ick! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself!" - Squidward, "Naughty Nautical Neighbors"
  • "It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure! Let it fill your senses with cascading fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort as you've never felt before." - Patrick, "Survival of the Idiots"
  • "Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?!" - Mr. Krabs, "Karate Choppers"
  • "You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend... well, that'd be just okay." - SpongeBob, "Dying for Pie"
  • "Well, that was more of SpongeBob than I needed to see." - Squidward
  • "And with a tiny pinch of magic all your dreams can come true!" - SpongeBob, "F.U.N."
  • "Well, that's it. I'm getting off the loony express." - Squidward

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