This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Pest of the West short "Yokel to Tough Guy," which aired on April 15, 2008.

  • [SpongeBuck sitting on a swing with a guitar]
  • Narrator: With just a couple minor adjustments, anyone can go from yokel to tough guy!
  • SpongeBuck: Wow, even me?
  • Narrator: Even you. [real hands take SpongeBuck and set him on a board]
  • SpongeBuck: I'm ready to be tough.
  • Narrator: Good, 'cause this city-slicker necktie has got to go. [scissors cut his bow-tie off] And this hat...ridiculous. [real fingers flick his hat off] Now all you need is some uncut facial hair [appear], a handlebar mustache [appear], a scar [appear]...
  • SpongeBuck: Ow!
  • Narrator: ...tough guy hat [appear], gloves [appear], bandanna [appear], boots [appear], and lastly that ol' tough guy scowl [real fingers push SpongeBuck's eyebrows down].
  • SpongeBuck: Ain't nobody gonna mess with me now.
  • Pecos Patrick: [comes in looking like a tough guy] What'd you say?
  • SpongeBuck: [scared] Please don't hurt me! [runs away without all the tough guy getup]
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