This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Whelk Attack" from season 7, which aired on October 2, 2010.
- [The episode begins at Jellyfish Fields. A jellyfish swims peacefully and SpongeBob tries to catch it while performing a victory screech. Patrick attempts to catch three jellyfish but fails and performing a victory screech of his own. Meanwhile, SpongeBob chases a jellyfish while twirling around and floating. Patrick chases a bunch of jellyfish but ends up crashing into SpongeBob. While they were laughing, something makes an earthquake as the jellyfish swim away in fear]
- SpongeBob: Whoa! Do you think we caused an earthquake by hitting the ground too hard?
- Patrick: Maybe. Or maybe it's them. [points to sea whelks that are moving towards them]
- SpongeBob: Oh, I've never seen those guys around before... [SpongeBob and Patrick get run over by the whelks and got covered in slime]
- Patrick: Ewwww! We're all covered in slime!
- SpongeBob: Not to worry, Patrick. I am a sponge after all! [absorbs the slime] Hold still! [cleans the slime off of Patrick]
- Patrick: Um, you're leaking.
- SpongeBob: Oh. Patrick, do you mind? I've gotta wring myself out.
- Patrick: Say no more. [turns around]
- SpongeBob: [squeezes himself] Ah! Oh! We've have to warn Bikini Bottom about those creatures!
- Bikini Bottomites: [scream] Whelks! [A whelk chases three fish and spits slime bubbles on them and eats them. Another whelk chases a couple more fish but only spits a slime bubble on one of the fish and eats it.]
- SpongeBob: Oh my, what do we do?
- [A whelk chases three fish. Patrick is covered in whelk slime again.]
- Patrick: What are those things?
- Johnny: [on TV] Sea Whelks! A pernicious form of sea snail have invaded Bikini Bottom and are on the attack, devouring innocent citizens and covering the city with purple slime! [a whelk eats Johnny] Luckily, the Bikini Bottom news room is perfectly safe. This is Bikini Bottom News signing off. [a "Please Stand By" screen appears]
- SpongeBob: Whelks? Heh, I'm not afraid of some goofy old sea snails!
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: [shrieks and holds on to Patrick] Oh, hey, Gary!
- Gary: Meow, meow. [slithers away]
- SpongeBob: Gary can be a little creepy.
- Patrick: Well, I'm not afraid of them! Watch this!
- [Patrick knocks on the whelk's shell, causing the whelk to turn around. Patrick blows some raspberries on the whelk for about ten seconds and stops.]
- Patrick: Wait, hold on a second.
- [Patrick gets a glass of water, drinks it, clears throat, and continues blowing raspberries. The whelk roars at Patrick and chases him.]
- SpongeBob: How did it go?
- Patrick: Can't talk, running! [SpongeBob gets scared and runs away. They run to the Krusty Krab]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward, please let us in! [Nat walks by and opens the door] Oh, heh heh. [They both push the other door, which whacks Squidward.]
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! [bursts through the door along with Patrick] Mr. Krabs! Ravenous giant sea whelks are coming! They kinda look like Gary, but not really, and they spit purple slime! And they're eating everyone! They tried to eat me and Patrick, but we ran and ran, and then we got away!
- Mr. Krabs: Ravenous? [holds up a plate of Krabby Patties] That means hungry! [the whelks are charging towards the Krusty Krab] Krabby Patties! Get your Krabby Patties! Try a nice, hot Krabby Patty! Only $3.99 each! [the whelks swallow the Krabby Patties] That'll be $54.95. [the whelks spit out the Krabby Patties] Don't care for Krabby Patties, huh? Well, maybe there's something else on the menu you'd like!
- [A siren sounds and a crow's nest comes out of the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward on it. Squidward looks at the whelks, not shown, with his monocular.]
- Patrick: [freaks out] Spon... Spo... Spo...Spo, Spo![taps on SpongeBob] SpongeBob! Spo... Spo...SpongeB-B! Spo...Spon, Spon...Spo...Spo...!
- SpongeBob: Patrick, use your words. [gets frightened and tugs on Squidward] Squid... Squi... Squi... Squi...! Squi... Squi... Squi...!
- Squidward: Yep, that's one big mama.
- [A larger sea whelk arrives and roars.]
- Mr. Krabs: Welcome to The Krusty Krab! [the whelk growls] [nervously] You seem like a mollusk of discerning taste. Could I introduce you in a side of Kelp Fries? [the whelk swallows Mr. Krabs] Hey! I'm not on the menu!
- SpongeBob: Squidward, it swallowed Mr. Krabs!
- Squidward: And this affects me, how? [the whelk swallows Squidward and he screams]
- Patrick: What do we do now? [SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the Krusty Krab, which is also swallowed by the whelk. They run over to Sandy's treedome]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Let us in, let us in, let us in! Let us in, Sandy! Let us in, Sandy! [the whelks start toward them and bite and they scream]
- Sandy: [looks through her door] Who is it?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy, let us in!
- Sandy: How can I be sure you're not whelks in disguise?
- SpongeBob: We're not whelks!
- Patrick: We promise!
- Sandy: [to SpongeBob] What's your mother's maiden name?
- SpongeBob: Eh, BubbleBottom!
- Sandy: Patrick, what's your first name?
- Patrick: Uh, is this a trick question?
- Sandy: [sighs] You're in. [lets them in and activates a lever that covers her treedome in metal. SpongeBob and Patrick breathe a sigh of relief]
- SpongeBob: What are we going to do?
- Sandy: I may know the answer to that question. Do ya want the regular answer, or the action-packed answer?!
- SpongeBob: [he and Patrick shrug] Action-packed, please?
- Sandy: Yes! [jumps in the air] I need to get a sample of their slime! If I can analyze it, [buffs her muscles and punches twice] I may be able to deduce...hi-yah! [karate kicks] The cause of their aggressive behavior! And maybe we can stop them!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmmmmm.
- Sandy: [gasps] Oh, no!
- [The whelks melt the metal wall and break through the flooding treedome. SpongeBob and Patrick panic in fear. The three are now floating underwater. Sandy removes SpongeBob's helmet, puts it on, and pulls a string, draining the water inside. The whelks close in on them.]
- Sandy: Come on, guys! Follow me! [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy climb up the tree]
- SpongeBob: Well, I guess this is it, Patrick!
- Patrick: You guys go, I'll hold them off. [sadly] And if I fail, at least my sacrifice will delay the inamiable.
- SpongeBob: I can't let you do that, Patrick! I'll be the one to lay down my life!
- Patrick: Okay, you go!
- Sandy: No, I'll go! The whelks don't seem to be after land... critters! [A whelk eats her. SpongeBob and Patrick scream and get swallowed by the whelk]
- SpongeBob: Patrick, look at that!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: The Krusty Krab! [exhale]
- SpongeBob: The gang's all here!
- Squidward: We're closed. Come back tomorrow.
- Sandy: Hmmm. [takes a sample of the slime] Hey, SpongeBob! Lend me your corneas for a second! You too, Patrick!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, okay. [removes corneas]
- Sandy: [looks through microscope] Well, golly! No wonder they're all grumpy! Them whelks are full of germs! Why, they're sicker than a bull with the squirrel pox!
- SpongeBob: I know what to do! After all, I've had the suds! I just have to absorb the whelk snot, and they'll return to normal! [absorbs the slime and cleans off mama whelk]
- Mama Whelk: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Now, let's get the rest of you cleaned up! [swallows the whelks and swishes them around in his mouth a little, and spits them out]
- Whelks: Meow. Meow. Meow.
- SpongeBob: Aw, cute! Ah... ah... Ah-choo! [sneezes out Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and The Krusty Krab. The customers cheer and SpongeBob sniffles] Excuse me! [laughs]
- Squidward: Gesundheit.
- Mr. Krabs: You did it, boy!
- Squidward: [hears the whelks meowing and picks up one of them] So, these things went crazy just because they had the sniffles? [the whelk sneezes on Squidward and everyone laughs]
- Patrick: It's in his eye! [SpongeBob sneezes again]
- Squidward: Oh, that's hilarious. [The episode ends.]