Hello there, ESB community. Many of you probably do not know who I am, or know very little about me since I was dimly mentioned by TwoBrains here a few times. But many of you are likely aware of a recent blog post made by one of this wiki's discussions moderators, Idroppedmypen. I would like to explain to all of you what exactly happened, so you can all see how she ended up at that point.
Where This All Started[]
So, me and her are on Pixilart, communicating with each other on a thread I sent to her. I take a view at TwoBrains' profile (known as Doctor Jekyll on there), and notice Pen stated she felt because "it's personal stuff." Like any friend who wants to help someone, I asked her on that thread if she would like a hug. She rejects the offer, and soon after that, someone out of nowhere responds with "R E J E C T E D," which angered Pen, since she despises when people enter conversations that do not concern them. After that, she told me not to do that again (likely out of anger), saying for me not to look through her "private" activity (I put "private" in quotes because she was wrong to say it was private; everyone can see it, therefore, it is not private), which I corrected her, stating that I looked through TwoBrains' profile rather than looking through her activity. Afterwards, she deleted her Pixilart account, which made me wrongfully assume she blocked me there. As someone who is her friend, that really put shivers down my whole body, not just my spine.
The Downward Spiral[]
This is when things start getting bad. After Pen deleted her account on Pixilart, I soon deleted mine, believing she blocked me because I was acting up. I felt really horrible for my actions, and felt like doing what she said she'd do on her blog (don't worry, I'm alright now). On Discord, I scared the crap out of TwoBrains because of this, and soon after, Pen rejoined Pixilart, she felt extremely guilty for what happened, and degraded herself to the point of becoming muted on Pixilart. This caused me to feel even worse when I learned that happened, since I have thought the exact same things she is saying to herself at that point in my life. The next day, she sends me a message on her wiki, asking me to return to Fandom. She then creates a blog on her wiki, asking me to return again. I create a long comment explaining how I felt during that time, and she later informs me that she didn't block me. She finally states on that blog, "i hate myself." She has never said anything since.
How I Feel About This[]
I am concerned for her, like many of you (hopefully) are. I have felt guilty for this whole timeline of negative events happening, especially because this was initally caused by a misunderstanding. I was wrong to assume she blocked me. This should have never happened, and for those of you who didn't see yet, I apologize for making this happen. This has been a tough time for some people, and I wis the best of luck to all of those who are going through feelings that me and Pen have previously/are experiencing. Once again, I apologize for this happeneing again, because I feel like I should repeat it again. Let's all hope that Pen is doing okay as of now, and show her that she has a whole community that cares about her even more than it already has.