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TheSewersofESB

[nonexistent theme song plays]

  • Louis219: [over the intercom] Let's go everyone, wake up and come downstairs for breakfast!
  • SpongeTron D: But it's so early!
  • Louis219: Well, you guys are going to have to get up earlier than usual for today's challenge. Now, you have 5 minutes to get ready and come downstairs.
  • Lorireviewer832: [in the confessional] Our challenge for today must be really important if Louis is waking us up this early. [yawns]
  • PlanKrab: [in the confessional] Well, it looks like the other team is even with us-er-er. So far, we've won one challenge and they've won the other challenge. I hope we can break the tie with them today-er-er.

[Everyone goes downstairs]

  • Louis219: Alright, it's time to announce your challenge for today. You guys will be going to...The Sewers of ESB!
  • Guy: [in the confessional] Last challenge we were fighting monsters in an abyss, and now we're going inside the sewers?
  • Cerdan: So, where exactly is The Sewers of ESB?
  • Louis219: It's located just outside this hotel. [points outside to a manhole on the street] You just need to crawl inside that manhole that leads to The Sewers of ESB. Now for the challenge, I flushed my car keys down the toilet, and both of your teams are going to try to retrieve my car keys. Whoever makes it back here with my car keys first wins the challenge. Any questions?
  • Mavnol333: Why did you flush your car keys down the toilet in the first place?
  • Louis219: It was on accident. So, what are you guys doing still standing around? Go complete your challenge!
  • Peachy4872: [in the confessional] Ew, I don't wanna go in the sewers! That's like, totally gross!

[cuts to Team SpongeBob outside]

  • CartoonGuy: Alright guys, if we wanna win this challenge, we gotta get a head start. Come on [crawls inside the manhole]
  • Doctor Patrick: Wait a minute! [puts on a pair of surgical gloves] We have to remain sterile, so be sure not to touch anything!

[One by one, Team SpongeBob goes down the manhole and into the sewers. Cuts to Team Patrick next.]

  • Cmcgrath26: Alright guys, let's go win this challenge. [looks down the manhole] Looks like it even has a ladder! [starts crawling down into the Sewers, in which the other members of Team Patrick follow.
  • Panty Raid: [in the confessional] I hope there are some underwear drawers that I can raid in the sewers. I haven't gone on any panty raids in a week.
  • Dededeletethis: Man, it's dark down here. I can't see any of you guys.
  • Agent Patrick: Don't worry, I brought my flashlight with me. I'll lead the way.
  • Mavnol333: It also stinks down here.
  • PlanKrab: Trust me, it doesn't smell nearly as bad as The Krusty Bucket's rest-er-er-rooms.
  • Mavnol333: Say, why do you say er-er after almost every sentence? It makes me think that you have to go to the emergency room everytime you speak. "E.R., E.R, E.R.!"
  • PlanKrab: What's an emergency room-er-er? I've only ever heard of eneerency rooms.
  • Mavnol333: An eneerency room? Where exactly do you come from?
  • PlanKrab: I come from The Chum Bucket laboratory-er-er.
  • Mavnol333: [in the confessional] Man, that guy sure is one interesting combo clone-er-er. Damn it, I'm starting to speak like him too.

[cuts to Team SpongeBob inside the sewers]

  • Chuy: So, do you guys have any idea where we're going?
  • SpongeTron D: Not really.
  • babe: babe
  • CartoonGuy: [to babe] Will you shut up already? You haven't done anything to help us in any of these challenges.
  • Peachy4872: Yeah and like, if we lose because of you, we're like, totally gonna vote you off.
  • Cerdan: Guys, stay focused. We just need to find something that will help us find out where we are.
  • DuchessTheSponge: Guys, I think I found something! [points to a map on the wall]
  • Doctor Patrick: Great, we have a map that we can use so that we know where we're going. Let's go that way, guys. [points to his left and they follow him]

[cuts to Team Patrick]

  • Guy: We've been walking in these sewers for an hour and haven't found Louis' car keys.
  • Lorireviewer832: Stop complaining, SewerBesidesYou3.
  • Guy: [in the confessional] I guess I'm not immune to nicknames on any show.
  • Dededeletethis: If I were Louis' car keys, where would I be?
  • Guy: Not in the sewers, that's all I know.
  • Cmcgrath26: You know guys, I heard that ESB admins hold their secret meetings down here.
  • Egor Vasylets: Yeah, but our challenge isn't to spy on the admin's meetings.
  • Mavnol333: What's that noise?

[Suddenly, a sewer snake emerges from the murky water and roars]

  • PlanKrab: OH NO-ER-ER! IT'S A SEWER SNAKE-ER-ER!
  • Dededeletethis: Run!

[All of them run away from the sewer snake, but it grabs Egor with its tail]

  • Cmcgrath26: Oh no, he's got Egor!
  • PlanKrab: Let him go-er-er! [charges toward the monster]
  • Panty Raid: I don't care if the sewer snake eats him, as long as he doesn't eat me.
  • Agent Patrick: How considerate.

[cuts to Team SpongeBob walking through the sewers]

  • Cerdan: You know, I can't even see you guys because it's so dark.
  • Doctor Patrick: What did you say? I can't hear you because it's too dark in here.
  • YOIMKYLE: Wait, what's that?
  • SpongeTron D: What's what?

[YOIMKYLE points to something shiny in the water]

  • CartoonGuy: It looks like...Louis' car keys!
  • Peachy4872: YES! Like, we win the challenge!
  • DuchessTheSponge: Not yet. First we need to get back to the hotel.
  • Chuy: How are we gonna get back?
  • CartoonGuy: We just retrace our steps.

[cuts to Team Patrick, with the sewer snake still holding on to Egor with his tail]

  • Mavnol333: Take this! [throws something at the monster, which startles him. He drops Egor and goes back into the water that he came from]
  • PlanKrab: Great work-er-er, Mavnol! But what exactly did you throw at the sewer snake?
  • Mavnol333: Oh, I threw this at it. [holds up a pair of car keys]
  • PlanKrab: Louis' car keys-er-er! Alright, we just need to go back to the hotel and we win this challenge!

[They hurry back to the hotel]

  • Lorireviewer832: We got the keys!
  • Louis219: Nice work, Team Patrick. Now we just need to wait for Team SpongeBob to arrive so I can announce the winner.

[Team SpongeBob arrives a few minutes later]

  • Cerdan: We got the keys!
  • Louis219: Wait a minute. It seems that Team Patrick already got my keys.
  • Guy: [to his team] We must have gotten the wrong keys!
  • Doctor Patrick: [to his team] We must have gotten the wrong keys!
  • Louis219: Well, guess what? I forgot to tell you that none of you got the right keys!
  • Both teams: WHAT?
  • Louis219: That's because I actually didn't flush my car keys down the toilet. It turns out that Cmc's rat ate them.
  • Cmcgrath26: [in the confessional] I thought I told Unnamed not to eat other people's possessions.
  • DuchessTheSponge: So none of us win?
  • Louis219: Well, since Team Patrick arrived here first, they win today's challenge. I'll be seeing Team SpongeBob at the elimination ceremony tonight. Now, everyone go to your rooms.

[Later, at the elimination ceremony]

  • Louis219: Welcome to tonight's ceremony, Team SpongeBob. Now, since you've already lost a challenge, you probably know how this process goes. I'll call your names and you come up onstage. You guys have already decided who is getting eliminated tonight, so I'll start calling you up one by one. CartoonGuy.

[CartoonGuy walks onstage]

  • Louis219: Chuy.

[Chuy walks onstage]

  • Louis219: Doctor Patrick.

[Doctor Patrick walks onstage]

  • Louis219: DuchessTheSponge.

[DuchessTheSponge walks onstage]

  • Louis219: Cerdan.

[Cerdan walks onstage]

  • Louis219: SpongeTron D.

[SpongeTron walks onstage]

  • Louis219: YOIMKYLE.

[YOIMKYLE walks onstage]

  • Louis219: There are two contestants from your team still standing, Peachy4872 and babe. One of you are safe from elimination, at least for tonight, and that person is...
  • Peachy4872: [in the confessional] Oh my gosh, I am like, so nervous! I hope I don't get, like, eliminated!
  • Louis219: ...Peachy4872. Sorry babe, but you're going home tonight.
  • babe: It's okay babe.
  • Louis219: Alright, that was episode 4 of The E Games, which was yet another episode where our contestants had to compete a difficult challenge, and another player will be eliminated tomorrow. Who will it be? What is the next challenge? Will Unnamed Rat stop eating my car keys? Find out on the next episode on ESB and this is Louis219, the awful host of this show, signing off.

[credits roll]

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