Under the Small Top/transcript

	"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Under the Small Top" from season 13, which aired on April 16, 2021.

[The episode starts in a flea circus, where a flea is riding a unicycle on a tightrope. He falls off his unicycle and lands onto a net. Another flea gets shot from a cannon, and grabs onto a swing.]
Announcer: See them fly! See them soar! See them juggle! And so much more! It's Circus Sea Fleas! [a bunch of sea flea clowns get out of the clown car] And they were born to please you!
[The camera zooms out to see two kids watching the flea circus.]
Kids: [they laugh] Yay! We love you, Circus Sea Fleas!
Announcer: And the fleas love you! Remember: Circus Sea Fleas perform just for you!
Kids: We've been emotionally validated!
Announcer: Send for your very own Circus Sea Fleas today!
[The scene zooms out to reveal a dressed-up SpongeBob watching the TV outside his house.]
SpongeBob: Oh. I sent mine yesterday and I'm still waiting.
Announcer: [the TV switches commercials] Bummer, dude!
SpongeBob: What?
Announcer: Bummer Dude action figures! They're miserable.
SpongeBob: Oh. [turns off the TV]
Mailman: Hey hey hey, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob notices him and gets excited] Got a bunch of great stuff for you today. [pulls out a magazine from his bag] The new spatula emporium catalog.
SpongeBob: [throwing the magazine behind him] No.
Mailman: [pulling out a million dollar check] Free money from the sweepstakes you won!
SpongeBob: [ripping the check in half] Nope!
Mailman: [giving SpongeBob a letter] A letter from your family.
SpongeBob: [crumples up the letter, puts it in his mouth, and swallows it] No. Packages, how about packages? You have any packages for me?
Mailman: [shaking his head] No packages. Sorry to disappoint you, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: [his eyes start watering up] What makes you think I'm disappointed? [deflates, slithering away] Everything's just fine.
Announcer: Man, what a sad sponge. That's right, introducing Sad Sponge, the newest Bummer Dude action figure!
[A hand squeezes the Sad Sponge.]
Sad Sponge: Oh...
[The scene bubble transitions to a fitness instructor exercising along with other people.]
Fitness instructor: And kick! And twist! And kick! [it zooms out to reveal that he is on Squidward's television screen] Higher, ladies, I said higher!
Squidward: [straining to do the same exercise as the fitness instructor, but falls down and gets frustrated] I'll show you high. [stretches his leg high into the air, to the point where it lifts him up] Huh? [gets caught on the ceiling fan and his butt lands on the oven. He screams]
Fitness instructor: Feel the burn.
Squidward: I feel it! [jumps over to a sink nearby, which makes him feel relieved. The doorbell rings] Huh? [walks over to the front door and opens it]
Mailman: [looking at Squidward's legs] Ooh. Pink leg warmers?
Squidward: Yeah, so
Mailman: So... I love 'em! [pulls down his pants to reveal he is wearing the same ones] We're leg warmer buddies!
Squidward: Oh please, I wouldn't be caught dead in leg warmers with that hat. [takes the package] Go back to fashion school. [slams the door shut]
Mailman: [sighs] He's right. [picks up a phone from his bag] Hello, fashion school? [takes off his mailman clothes to reveal a vibrant pink outfit] I'm comin' back! I'm reborn!
Squidward: Wait, this package isn't even for me. It's for SpongeBob. Pfft, huh. [put the package in the trash bin and repeatedly steps on it] The mailman is a moron.
[The camera zooms in on the package, and a swarm of sea fleas escape from it. They spread across the kitchen floor and underneath the furniture. The scene bubble transitions to Squidward dancing while wearing headphones.]
Squidward: And time for me to eat. Yah-tah-tah-tah. [opens up the cupboard to reveal two cups floating from the sea fleas. Squidward grabs a bowl and slides it across his body] Bowl is nice and clean. [closes the cupboard] Yah-tah-tah-tah. Grab my favorite spoon. [grabs a spoon from a sea flea-infested drawer] Yah-tah-tah-tah. [breathes on the spoon] Polish it on my shirt, yah-tah-tah-tah. [closes the drawer with his butt. He opens the sea flea-infested fridge, grabs a carton of milk, and sniffs it] Milk is smelling fresh, yah-tah-tah-tah. [closes the fridge with his tentacles. He brings his things over to the table] Cereal gives me pep. Yah-tah-tah-tah. [pours the Kelp Loops into his bowl. The sea fleas move around in the bowl with the cereal] It's moving by itself, yah-tah-tah-tah. Ghosts are in my bowl, yah-tah-tah-tah. [comes to a realization] Ghosts are in my bowl? [yelling] Ghosts are in my bowl?! [rapidly shakes his head and rubs his eyes. He looks behind him] Huh?
[Sea fleas are moving four apples counterclockwise. More sea fleas are moving some of Squidward's kitchen utensils. Up on his cupboard, a tightrope is shown and three plates move across it.]
Squidward: Huh? [wipes his face with his hand, then he looks up to see a chandelier swinging on its own. Squidward then screams and gets up to run] My kitchen's haunted! [runs into his bedroom and closes the door behind him to hyperventilate] Calm down, Squidward. You're just seeing things because you're so tired. Yeah, yeah, that's it. [heading toward his bed] You just need some more sleep. [tucks himself into bed, and starts sleeping]
[The sea fleas start to enter the bedroom. They enter Squidward's blanket and he moves around in his sleep. He then continues sleeping. The scene bubble transitions to circus music starting to play, waking Squidward up.]
Squidward: Huh? Wha? [sees an entire circus on his lap] Oh, I must still be dreaming. [pops his head into the circus to see the sea fleas performing, and he rapidly shakes his head in disbelief] Huh?
[A sea flea balances on a ball as it rolls down a slope, and jumps onto a swing. Several stacked sea fleas then separate and get juggled by the bottom flea.]
Sea fleas: Ta-da!
Sea flea ringmaster: [holding a megaphone] Welcome to your sea flea circus! It's our duty to entertain you!
[The scene moves over to three circus sea fleas, of which one of them hits another with a mallet. Another one throws a pie in the first sea flea's face. The middle one then sprays both of them with water.]
Squidward: [laughing] How delightful! Huh? [looks on top of his head]
[A spotlight shines on the sea flea on Squidward's head as he slides off of his face and into a pool.]
Squidward: Amazing.
[Two of the sea fleas drops a whistle.]
Squidward: Huh? What's next?
[A sea flea inhales and blows into the whistle]
Sea flea ringmaster: Lunch time! [all of the sea fleas look at Squidward, holding eating utensils]
Squidward: Lunch time? Why would a dream need a-?
[The sea fleas charge towards Squidward, making him scream]
Squidward: Ow, ow!
[The sea fleas then start biting all over his body, making him scream again. He throws the circus tent off of his body, although the fleas are still on him]
Squidward: [desperately trying to get the fleas off of him] This isn't a dream! It's an infestation! [hits his head with a pillow, then screams and runs off. The swarm fleas soon follow him. Squidward trips on his clarinet, rolling on it, and soon trips, sending him forward. He hits the door, making it flip rapidly, and throws him back the way he came from. He then falls down the stairs, lands on a chair, and bounces off. He grabs onto a chandelier and swings back and forth, hitting the ceiling multiple times. He gets injured and falls down, and puts his back against the wall. The fleas land on his head, disguised as a beret.]
Squidward: Hmm, where'd they go? [he looks at himself in the mirror] Oh. Hmm, [adjusts the "beret"] not bad.
[Two clown sea fleas are gnawing at Squidward's forehead, making him scream]
Squidward: Bad! [he swats the fleas away, turning into a beard] I look amazing. Please don't ruin this by biting my face. [three of the sea fleas are shown biting his face] You ruined it! [he screams and runs away, with the sea fleas following him. Squidward is stopped by a gigantic hand made of the fleas. He tries to run away, but the hand catches him by the shirt. Squidward manages to escape briefly, but gets pulled back again. The hand squishes him, making him dizzy. The hand then slaps him with a bag of flour, getting it all over him.]
Squidward: Why is this happening to me?
[The hand snaps its fingers, and points to the package Squidward left in the trash bin]
Squidward: Oh yeah. Karma. [the hand comes back to spray him with water] Ow! [he gets knocked into the oven]
[The sea fleas turn into an evil man]
Squidward: Hey, what are you-? [the man pours gravy onto him from a ladle, initially scaring him] Oh, that feels nice, and warm.
[The man turns a knob on the oven to the "crisp" setting, making Squidward sweat]
Squidward: It's actually getting kinda hot now. [vegetables are thrown into the oven] Hey, you're trying to cook me! Let me out of here! [his head bumps into the oven a few times before a hand shoves a parsnip into his mouth] Parsnip? [spits out the parsnip and gets out of the oven] Are you crazy?! You don't serve a prime piece of meat like me with parsnip. [gets out lemons] You need lemons to brighten my flavors, and some pepper [sprinkles pepper onto him] for spice. [jumps back into the oven. He then sips gravy from a spoon inside the oven] Ah, much better. Now let me out of here! [the oven door opens and Squidward pops out, screaming. The man turns back into a swarm of sea fleas, and follows Squidward. Squidward runs in circles.]
Fitness instructor: Now you're cookin'!
[The scene bubble transitions to SpongeBob outside, looking at his watch]
SpongeBob: Huh? [his buttons are dirty] Oh no, my buttons are tarnished. No circus flea is gonna wanna perform for a guy with tarnished buttons. [takes off the suit and shoves it through himself to clean it. He puts it back on, laughing. The sounds of a circus are heard] Circus music? [puts his hand up to his ear and sees that the noise is coming from Squidward's house] Hmm.
[SpongeBob runs over to Squidward's house and rings the doorbell. An injured Squidward opens the door. SpongeBob gasps.]
SpongeBob: Oh. [waves] Hey, Squidward. Uh, just checking. You haven't seen a package addressed to me, have you? [he gets a surprised look as he looks inside Squidward's house] Ooh? [he sees the package that is addressed to him in the trash bin and gasps] My circus fleas! [he runs inside, knocking over Squidward] They came! [picks up the package] They came! Hey, this box is empty. Where did the fleas go?
[Squidward pulls up his shirt to reveal that all of the sea fleas are under it]
SpongeBob: Hello, fleas! I hope you fed 'em, Squidward. They get pretty hungry.
Squidward: [the fleas start spreading around his body] Oh, I fed them alright. Please take them away now.
SpongeBob: You got it! [pulls out a whip] Ho! Alley-oop, [uses the whip] wah!
[The sea fleas turn into a clown juggling balls. SpongeBob uses the whip again and the fleas drop the balls into itself. They transform into a big man on a diving board with a bucket on the ground. The big man dives into the bucket, and the fleas turn into a circus.]
SpongeBob: [laughs] Now let's take this circus to my place! [a miniature train shows up, and he and the fleas enter it] All aboard! [plays the theme song ending on his nose and makes a train whistle noise. They then head off] May all your days be sea flea circus days! Best day ever! [they enter his house] Woo!
[Squidward is in his now destroyed bedroom.]
Squidward: Huh. Stupid circus fleas. Just look at the mess they've left. [notices a whistle] Hm? What's this? Hmm. [blows into the whistle, causing the sea fleas to come swarming back to him.]
Sea Fleas: Yay! Dinner!

Biting sounds along with Squidward screaming are heard. The episode irises out as it ends]

Under the Small Top/transcript

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