| "Spon... Spo... Spo...!"
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Live-action segment, part 1
French narrator: It's Patchy the Pirate's SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club Big Time Impressive Celebrity Television Extravaganza! With celebrity guests: Basketball Mascot, the 3 Point Fowl, The Guy on the Penny, Her Majesty, the Queen, Musical Guest P!nk, Sir Quentin and his little wooden sidekick Mr. Tinder, and, best of all there, SpongeBob SquarePants! From Encino, California, the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club and your host, Patchy the Pirate!
Patchy: (starts singing) Ten years of Sponge-
Potty: Squawk! You're looking at the wrong camera!
Patchy: What? Wha-Potty! Where are ya?
Potty: Squawk! To Camera 3!
Patchy: I can't hear you!
Potty: You tell him!
Patchy: What does that mean? What're you pointing at me for? Ya have a headache? Anywho, can't you believe it kids? It's been ten years since I started the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club! And he's here in person! (laughs) I'm finally gonna meet me idol! (laughs) Let's bring him out now! N-nobody cares! Without further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants! Without further ado, please welcome SpongeBob SquarePants! Heh, heh, heh.
Potty: Squawk! (whispers in Patchy's ear) Squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk squawk. Squawk!