The Fun Bucket/transcript

This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "The Fun Bucket" from season 3, which aired on July 29, 2024.

[The episode begins with a shot of the Star house.]
Squidina, Bunny, and Cecil: [off-screen] Happy birthday, Patrick!
[Inside, the family has gathered in the living room, which is decorated with balloons, banners, and streamers, as Patrick claps. GrandPat is holding a gift, Cecil is recording with a camera, and everyone is wearing party hats.]
Patrick: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
GrandPat: [shaking gift] Here, birthday boy. [giggles]
Patrick: Ooh! [takes gift] Oh! [tears the paper off, bites the box open] Huh?
[GrandPat sticks his feet and socks, which have flies buzzing around them, through the box.]
GrandPat: Gotcha! [laughs, wipes away a tear]
Patrick: [grabs the socks] Wow! Thanks, GrandPat! [takes them off and eats them, throws GrandPat away]
GrandPat: Whoa! [crashes]
Cecil: [recording Patrick] Whoa, whoa, whoa. [pulls the socks out of his mouth] Hang on, son. Don't spoil your appetite...
Bunny: We're taking you out for a [pulls Cecil closer] special birthday lunch! Where would you like to go?
Patrick: [spaces out] Uh...
[Zoom into Patrick's head, where his brain is a building labeled "Department of Thoughts." A scientist Patrick is manually pulling a lever to control Patrick's breathing.]
Brain Patrick #1: Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.
Brain Patrick #2: Hey, where should we go to lunch?
Brain Patricks: [spacing out] Uh...
[Alarms blare. Cut to Cecil.]
Cecil: Live, son! [punches Patrick] Live!
[Patrick is suffocating. When Cecil hits him, his eyes pop out, then his tongue.]
Patrick: [gets up, gasps] What were we talking about?
[GrandPat floats in tied to balloons. A commercial showing two kids cheering shows plays on TV.]
Stars: Huh?
Singer: ♪ Fun Bucket, [a kid throws a basketball into a hoop] buckets of fun! [a kid plays an arcade fighting game and wins] With games you can play [a piece of pizza is shown and a fish chomps it] and tons of pizzay! Fun Bucket, [curtains open to show a robot band on-stage] buckets of fun! With a cool robot band that will sing you-- ♪
Robots: [monotone] Happy birthday.
[The curtains close and open again to show all three of the kids dancing on it.]
Singer: ♪ Come on, kids, [an employee in a sea bear costume gives a thumbs up and pulls down his sunglasses, showing a bandage on the eye] you wanna have fun? [a shot of the restaurant zooms in and out] Fun Bucket, it's buckets of fun! ♪
Patrick: [as the Fun Bucket reflects in his eyes] Ooh... [to Bunny and Cecil] I wanna go to the Fun Bucket! [smacks into the TV, making it go static; his face flattens and his eyes turn static as well]
Cecil: [grabs Patrick and shakes him back to normal] Slow down there, eager beaver. Let's just take the car.
Patrick: [dizzy groan, nodding]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] Meanwhile...
[The Chum Bucket is seen with an "F" taped to its door.]
Plankton: [off-screen] Stupid, [shot of him holding a hammer and building a robot] lousy health inspector. [hits robot] Thinks he can just fine me? [hits robot] I'll show him F-grade food products! [takes out a welding torch and mask, welds robot, then throws tools away] Next time he comes in here, he can inspect this [pan up to the robot] killer robot. [cackles]
Karen: [holding a remote] Good plan. But have you considered just paying the fine?
Plankton: First off, we're broke. Second, I don't want to let the inspector think I'm a pushover. Give me that remote. [he takes it] Now, my creation, live! [presses the button, electrocuting him and the robot; Karen facepalms and goes away] Wah! Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah! [part of the robot explodes]
[Outside the building he letter C, and parts of the H and M burn out. Wind blows the "F" grade over the H, making it read "Fun Bucket". The Stars crash their van into a rock and land outside the Chum Bucket.]
Cecil: Here it is, [shot of the sign] the Fun Bucket!
Squidina: Dad, I don't think--
Cecil: [holds out finger] Great idea! It's Patrick's birthday. Let's all not think. [runs back] Less think, [pushes the family in] more birthday!
Stars except Cecil: Whoa!
[They all look disappointed as they see the quality of the Chum Bucket's dining room.]
Bunny: [unsure] We have the whole place to ourselves. [chuckles]
Plankton: [opens door, with torch and mask] Who let you people in? [rushes forward, dropping them, and jumps onto a table] You need to get--
Bunny: Oh, hello. [holds Patrick] We're here for Patrick's birthday lunch.
Plankton: I don't care if you're here to do the Watusi, [waving arms] get out!
Bunny: Uh...
Cecil: [shrugs] Gee, maybe I wrote down the wrong address. [digs in pockets] I have that paper around here somewhere. [pulls out pockets and money flies out, cash register dings] Huh, can't find it.
Patrick: [pulls money out of pockets] I can't find it either.
Bunny: [pulls money out of dress] Me neither.
GrandPat: [puts his head in his sweater and comes out biting money] Nope.
Squidina: [pulls out money behind her back] Just more of Patrick's birthday cash.
Plankton: All right, enough. Pick up all of your stupid money and [points] get out. [shakes fist] I have stuff to do.
Karen: [screen shows an "!" that flashes] Huh? Plankton! [whispers, picks him up] The fine from the health department.
Plankton: I know, I'm sending them home so I can work on the robot.
Karen: [sighs, screen shows a cake] You throw them a party. [shows an equals sign then some money] They pay you. [pokes Plankton's eye and shows him handing money to the inspector] You pay the inspector.
Plankton: [mouth opens wide] Ohhh. [jumps in front of the family before they can leave] Wait! Uh, heh, uh... [snaps fingers] gotcha. What I said earlier was, uh, all a joke. [laughs] Yeah. All part of the-- what did you call this place again?
Cecil: The Fun Bucket?
Plankton: [jumps on Cecil's money] Yes, all part of the Fun Bucket fun.
Cecil: [laughs] That was fun!
Stars: [laughter]
Plankton: [giggles, runs to Karen's hand] Karen, I'm a genius!
Karen: [deadpan] Uh-huh.
Patrick: [holds up finger] Waiter!
Plankton: What do you want?
Patrick: [gestures around] This bucket isn't very fun. There are no [pulls out fingers as he lists off items] decorations, party hats, video games, [Plankton looks annoyed and glares at the audience] regular games, pizza, breadsticks, dipping sauce for the breadsticks.
Plankton: Yeah, all right. I'll be right back with your party.
Patrick: [waves hands with many fingers] Yippee!
Plankton: [reaches into trash, strains to pull out bag, lands with a splat and throws chum on the order window] Garland, [throws chum over the laboratory door] garland, [throws to-go order bags on the Stars] party hats.
Patrick: Mine smells dead! [chum leaks from his hat]
Plankton: [grunts, pushes Karen] Video game.
Karen: [sighs, arms turn into controllers] Press start to play. [Patrick and GrandPat run in and begin playing as Karen's eyes simulate Pong] Boopop, beep, boop, boop, beep, beep.
[The eyes go past the left paddle. Karen's screen shows a split-screen with a thumbs up and thumbs down. The thumbs down shakes and beeps.]
Patrick: [raises controller] I win!
GrandPat: Eh, this game's for babies. [throws controller and leaves] I gotta find the grown-up games... Ooh! Perfect. [enters the bathroom]
Patrick: [sees Plankton's laboratory with caution tape and "No" signs of Patrick's face and butt] Ooh... [chuckles, goes in, slams door open] Hey, guys! There's more games and rides in here!
[Cecil, Squidina, and Bunny run in, giggling.]
Plankton: [runs in] Stop! My equipment!
Cecil: [off-screen] What's this thing?
Plankton: [off-screen] Do not touch-- [screams, gets zapped as blue flashes of electricity come from the windows]
Bunny: [off-screen] Whee! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Plankton: [off-screen] Put that down! [screams as laser beams blast out the windows]
Squidina: [off-screen] Ooh!
Plankton: [off-screen] Unhand that-- [explosion, screams]
[The doors are blown off and Bunny, Cecil, and Squidina get blown out. Plankton screams and a claw hand grabs him back.]
Plankton: Whoa!
[Plankton is caught in a claw machine played by Patrick.]
Patrick: I hooked a prize! [flicks joystick]
Plankton: Oh no. [gets dipped in chum, having it around his neck] Oh, that's disgusting. [gets dipped and comes out in a chum tentacle, gets dipped again and has a piece of it in his eye, Patrick keeps dipping him]
Patrick: This claw game is broken! [kicks the machine and runs away]
[The machine zaps with electricity and explodes. Plankton, injured, lands and grunts.]
Plankton: [groans, sees his lab destroyed] My lab!
[A barrel of chum transitions to the Stars demanding pizza as Plankton wheels out a barrel of chum.]
Patrick, Squidina, Cecil, Bunny: We want pizza! We want pizza!
Plankton: Yeah, yeah, all right.
Patrick: We want--
Plankton: [holds up chum] Chum, did you say? [chum tentacle spoots] It's edible, [to camera] high in fiber, and-- [stench covers him, eye shatters like glass] --aromatic.
Patrick: [arms folded] Pizza.
Plankton: [drops chum and puts on chef hat] I'll give you a pizza-my-mind. [takes off a trash can lid and shapes the chum with it, dumps mechanical parts on and zaps it, takes out grater and shreds Patrick's head] And a piece of your mind too while I'm at it!
Patrick: Little more. [Plankton keeps shredding] That's good.
[Plankton rolls over the "pizza" with a cutter, slicing it into quarters.]
Plankton: [kisses hand] Voila, you happy now? [holds out "pizza" to Patrick] One slice of pizza. [gives it to Cecil and Bunny] Chew on this.
Cecil and Bunny: Eww!
Plankton: You're welcome.
[The family eats their pizza in disgust.]
Squidina: [sticks out her tongue, which has a piece of chum on it] Gross! [flicks it off]
Cecil: [nauseous] I think I'm going to [face turns green] be-- [gets hit with chum] participating in a food fight!? [prepares to throw it] Coming back at ya!
[Squidina is wiping her tongue when blobs of chum start flying at her, and she bends to avoid them. She grabs Patrick and uses him as a shield, and all the chum flies into his mouth.]
Squidina: Take this!
[She pulls Patrick's head and he shoots a giant stream of chum. Squidina screams as she rockets backwards.]
Bunny: [ducks down with Cecil] Hit the deck!
Plankton: Stop it or I'll destroy you! [gets hit by chum, burbles, has a bunch of it in his mouth] That really is awful.
[Patrick grabs Plankton, squeezing the chum out of him as he groans. Patrick pokes his eye into Plankton's.]
Patrick: Now it's time for my birthday song!
Plankton: [grumbles, Karen motions for him to go on] Fine. ♪ Happy birthday to pinhead... ♪
Patrick: Wait! Where's the robot band? The commercial has a robot band!
Plankton: [growls, leans in Patrick's face] OK, you want a robot?
Patrick: [nods] Yuh-huh.
Plankton: [jumps to the floor] I'll show you a robot. [takes out remote and presses button on it, cackles, doors open to show a giant robot who steps out] Now, my construct of unadulterated destruction, I command you--
[A buzzer blares. Karen's screen shows Plankton.]
Karen: [scolding] Plankton... [the screen shows being shut behind bars]
Plankton: Oh, uh, I command you to [takes out a giant pile of instruments] play birthday music! [throws them at the robot]
Robot: [dings triangle, monotone voice] 1, 2, 1, 2, 3.
[Curtains descend. Plankton has a microphone and starts singing.]
Plankton: ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
[Karen serves a cake, which has Plankton inside.]
Plankton: [muffled] ♪ Happy birthday [pops out of cake] to you! ♪ [flicks Patrick's lip] ♪ Happy [the robot short-circuits as Plankton holds a high note] birthdaaay... [the robot's light turns red and it appears behind Plankton] To this pink loser... ♪ [the robot scans Plankton and hones in on him] Uh-oh. [robot smashes him with a guitar]
Patrick: [claps] Yay!
Plankton: [grumbles] Stupid robot. [presses button, robot explodes]
Patrick: [clapping] Ooh, fireworks!
[The robot's head lands and shoots a laser beam, which lights Plankton's antenna on fire as he sticks out of the cake.]
Bunny: OK, Patrick. Now make a birthday wish.
Patrick: [inhales, blows drool on Plankton]
Plankton: [dramatic close-up] That's enough! [grabs Patrick's mouth] I have had it with your games! Your-- [notices cake frosting on him] ew. What's this frosting made of anyway?
Karen: [holding a bucket of it] Toxic waste.
Plankton: [groans] I'm mutating!
[Zoom out to show the growth on top of his head, which he removes and it shambles off, grumbling. He throws the plate of toxic waste away and points at the Stars.]
Plankton: Just pay and get out!
Cecil: [pats pockets] Ah, would you look at that. [shrugs] I'm fresh out. Gave all my money to GrandPat to use in your casino.
Plankton: [eye narrows] What casino?
[Cut to GrandPat putting money in the toilet.]
GrandPat: [chuckles] It's payday! Come to papa! Big money, big money! [flushes it] Ohh. Frog biscuits.
Cecil: [walking away] Well, that was a treat. Just put it on our tab and we'll be on our way. [opens the door and a gate comes down, trapping the family inside]
Cecil, Squidina, Bunny, and Patrick: Hmm?
Plankton: Oh, you're not going anywhere. The only way you freeloaders are going to pay off your tab is to, uh-- [sees the Krusty Krab across the street, bright twinkle] -- steal the Krabby Patty secret formula!
Squidina: Hmm. OK, here's what we're gonna do!
[Cecil, Bunny, and Squidina gather into a huddle and whisper. Patrick walks to the gate and uses his belly to spread the bars apart. He walks to the Krusty Krab, where Mr. Krabs is in his office.]
Krabs: [hugging pile of money] Who's a good money? You are! Yes, you are!
Patrick: [at safe, to Mr. Krabs] Do you have the combination?
Krabs: Money, money, money, money, money, money. Money, money, money, money, money, money. Money, money, money, money, money, money.
[Patrick rotates the safe to a money sign three times, opens it, and takes the formula out. He brings it back to Plankton.]
Patrick: Got it.
[Bunny, Cecil, and Squidina turn to look at him.]
Plankton: [jumps on formula] It's mine! [laughs, kisses it] Mwah! Mwah! [pulls cork out with his teeth and takes out the formula paper] This formula is worth a million dollars!
Health inspector: [off-screen] A million dollars? [takes the formula]
Plankton: What?
Health inspector: How convenient. Your health department fine is $999,999.99. [puts the formula away and takes out a single penny] That leaves you with 1 cent as your change.
Plankton: Terrific. [groans, gets crushed]
[Krabs takes off his disguise, revealing he was the health inspector.]
Krabs: Gotcha! [chuckles, leaves, then leaves in] Oh, almost forgot the processing fee! [takes penny] Yoink! [chuckles, runs away]
Plankton: [still squashed in the shape of the penny, rolls away]
GrandPat: Phooey. Looks like I'm fresh out. [Plankton rolls by, takes him and flushes him down the toilet] Lady Luck shines on me again. Here we go. [giggles] Big money! Big money!
[GrandPat laughs as water and money gush out from the toilet. Plankton gets squished up against the screen.]
Plankton: [impact noise] Jackpot. [groans and falls down]