- Narrator: And now, Astrology with Squidward.
- Squidward: [plays clarinet] Say 'Happy Birthday' to Taurus the bull. Taurus is the most clumsy and oafish of all zodiac signs. They tend to break delicate objects just by walking past them. If no one ever invites you to their house you're probably a Taurus. From now on, only buy things made out of rubber. My prediction for Taurus in the coming year: you will eat a wide variety of different foods. [gong sounds] I'm Squidward, your Nicktoon Astrologer, reminding you no matter what your sign, you owe me five dollars. [plays clarinet]
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