|"I hate this channel."
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The short begins with Squidward playing his clarinet. After this, he tells the audience to say "Happy birthday" to Taurus the bull.
He talks about how Taurus is the most clumsy of all fish in all the Zodiac signs. Continuing on, Squidward talks about how Taurus tends to break delicate objects just by walking past them and if no one invites them to their house, then they are probably a Taurus.
From now on, Taurus should only buy things made out of rubber. Squidward predicts that for Taurus in the coming year, they will eat a wide variety of different foods. Squidward then ends the short by saying "I'm Squidward, your Nicktoon astrologer, reminding you that no matter what your sign is, you owe me 5 dollars" and then goes back to playing his clarinet.
- This is the final Astrology with Squidward short.