Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

"Squilliam Returns" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season 3. In this episode, Squidward tries to convince Squilliam that he owns a five-star restaurant.



A crowd of friends with Squilliam.

On his lunch break, Squidward encounters Squilliam Fancyson with a group of his sycophants. Squilliam asks Squidward what he has "accomplished" since high school. Squidward, panicking, tells him that he owns a five-star restaurant. Squilliam tells Squidward that he and his friends will come to his restaurant that night, and Squidward is very shocked. He begs Mr. Krabs to let him have control of the Krusty Krab for the day, and when he explains that Squilliam is coming, Mr. Krabs accepts, because he knows that Squilliam has money and wants to stick up for his employee.

"Oh no, he's hot!"

Squidward attempts to train the Krusty Krab crew to turn the establishment into a fancy restaurant. Thinking that he is joining the corps, Patrick appears in the restaurant awaiting orders, and is given the job of collecting the hats. SpongeBob, who does not know how a waiter works yet, is the waiter, and Mr. Krabs, who says he once served on the S.S. Gourmet, is the chef. However, things do not go well; Patrick is beating up the hat rack because it will not "give" him its hat, and Mr. Krabs makes terrible food such as peas in stove and an appetizer that has fly wings and more filthy things and says that he worked as a janitor on the S.S. Gourmet and was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea, and SpongeBob cannot handle the copy of "How To Become A Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes" that Squidward gave him. Squidward tells SpongeBob to clear his mind of "everything that doesn't have to do with fine dining and breathing." SpongeBob's mind (which is metaphorically portrayed as an office) is operated by smaller SpongeBobs. Their boss' assistant tells them that he just got an order: Dump everything that is not about fine dining. They begin to get rid of all documents, which represent SpongeBob's knowledge, until SpongeBob just stares into empty space in a catatonic state.

Squidward runs outside and bumps into Squilliam, who is just about to enter. They both go inside, and see that the Krusty Krab has been transformed into a very fancy five-star restaurant. After sending all the customers to their tables, SpongeBob tells Squidward that he did all of this, and that he has tied up Patrick and Mr. Krabs in the kitchen as punishment. After his meal, Squilliam admits that he is impressed and asks SpongeBob what his name is. However, SpongeBob cannot remember his own name, having discarded it along with everything else, and inside his mind, all of the little SpongeBobs try to find his name, but to no avail, ultimately resulting in his brain damage and snapping in half. SpongeBob goes insane, mindlessly spilling food on patrons and grating the posteriors of others. Still tied up, Mr. Krabs and Patrick run out of the kitchen being chased down by the appetizer the former made earlier which has turned into a living monster. With this, the fancy façade is destroyed, making the Krusty Krab's true nature unveiled.

Squilliam finds out that Squidward actually is a cashier, humiliating him. However, Squilliam then "confesses" that he is also a cashier too and that he lied about being rich to upstage Squidward and beat him. Squidward asks if this is true, but Squilliam reveals that he was just kidding and he really is, "filthy stinkin' rich!" He and his crowd leave the restaurant to ride in his "balloon/casino," leaving Squidward dejected and defeated once again, but not before Mr. Krabs comes in and plays him a sad song in the World's Smallest Violin, which annoys him, making him request in anger to leave, as the episode ends.

Running gags





 ) Production music
 ) Original music
 ) SpongeBob music

  Dingles Regatta - Brian Peters [Title card]
  Tomorrow the World - Cedric King-Palmer ["There will come a day when I will make something of my life..."]
  Dramatic Cue (E) - Ronald Hanmer [Squidward sees Squilliam]
  Comic Walk - Sidney Torch ["Oh, just succeeding in everything you failed in."]
  Danger Zone - Mike Sunderland ["Don't be intimidated, Squidward."]
  Idea Vibe - Nicolas Carr [picturing Squilliam in his underwear]
  Torn Apart - Mike Sunderland [Everyone laughs]
  Dramatic Encounter - Gregor F. Narholz ["Tonight?"]
  Hawaiian Link (B) - Richard Myhill [exterior of Krusty Krab]
  Woe is Me! - Richard Myhill [Krabs playing violin]
  Up She Rises - Sam Spence ["All right, listen up."]
  The Plot Thickens - Dick Stephen Walter [Patrick beating up the hat rack]
  Space Critters A - Gregor F. Narholz [appetizer]
  It Came from Outer Space - Ilona Sekacz ["I can't do it, Squidward."]
  Mists Of Illusion - Gilbert Vinter [Squidward tells SpongeBob to empty his mind]
  Metropolis - Jack Brown [inside SpongeBob's brain]
  Mists Of Illusion - Gilbert Vinter ["How do you feel?"]
  Dramatic Cue (D) - Ronald Hanmer ["This isn't working!"]
  Glissando (C) - Skaila Kanga, Richard Myhill [harp music]
  Airs And Graces (A) - Paddy Kingsland ["Hommina, hommina, hommina..."/"Right this way, please."]
  Steel Licks 4 - Jeremy Wakefield ["It worked! I can't believe it!"]
  Life Drifts By (A) - Paddy Kingsland [Squidward rubs it in]
  Mists Of Illusion - Gilbert Vinter [SpongeBob can't remember his name]
  Dramatic Cue (G) - Ronald Hanmer [inside SpongeBob's brain]
  Sponge Monger - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob goes crazy]
  Hawaiian Cocktail - Richard Myhill [Squidward admits he's a fraud]
  Woe is Me! - Richard Myhill [Krabs playing violin]
  Hawaiian Link (A) - Richard Myhill [Squidward sits]
  Woe is Me! - Richard Myhill [ending]




  • This is the second appearance of Squilliam Fancyson, and in the show. The first was "Band Geeks."
  • In the Bahasa Malaysia dub of this episode, when SpongeBob grates the customer, what he says translates to "Your butt want to eat rice?"[citation needed]
  • In the Latin Spanish dub when Patrick says 'you mean like a weenie, okay' he says "...como si fuera un mayordomo, de acuerdo." (as if I were a butler, I agree.)
  • Fred is seen wearing almost the same set of clothes as SpongeBob: brown trousers, black belt, and a white shirt. The only components missing are black shoes and a red tie.
  • This episode makes two references to its sister episode, "No Weenies Allowed." One is that Patrick acts like a "weenie," which is a reference to the Weenie Hut franchise. The other is that one of the things that is thrown out is "Spice Garden tips," which is a reference to the line, "I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes."
  • Eight parts of this episode have become popular memes on YouTube (the most out of all episodes):
    • Patrick saying "May I take your hat, sir?"
    • Squilliam, Squidward, and the fish saying "Hommina."
    • Squidward imagining Squilliam as a hot underwear model and thinking, "Oh no, he's hot!"
    • Squidward, frightened, asking, "T-t-t-t-t-t-tonight?!"
    • Mr. Krabs playing the world's smallest violin.
    • The scenes with the Clever Visual Metaphors for the Abstract Concept of Thought.
    • Mr. Krabs yelling, "Run for your lives, everyone! It's the Appetizer!"
    • SpongeBob complaining about memorizing facts about fine dining.
  • Patrick states his intention to join the Marine Corps in this episode.
  • When Mr. Krabs messes up the peas and the appetizer and Squidward interrogates him, the two speak as though Mr. Krabs had told Squidward that he was the "Head Chef" on the S.S. Gourmet. This is not true, as their first conversation regarding the S.S. Gourmet was Squidward merely asking Mr. Krabs if he had "once served" on it and then jumping to the conclusion that he had been the chef. Squidward likely misremembered.
  • Several male Bikini Bottomites in this episode wear business casual to formal clothing despite usually wearing pants at best in other episodes.
  • When Squilliam "admits" he is a cashier, Mr. Krabs is seen wearing a tuxedo rather than the outfit he had worn throughout the episode. This also happens at the very end.
  • This episode was paired up with "The Thing" during the Massive Monster Mayhem Marathon.
  • When Squilliam and his party are at the disguised Krusty Krab, SpongeBob seats them immediately, while in reality, Squilliam and co. should have called ahead, as restaurants that achieve a five-star rating tend to be fully booked.
  • Irony: When SpongeBob forgets his own name, Squidward should have told Squilliam his name for him.
  • On the September 28, 2019 airing, this episode was paired up with "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve."[3]
  • When the Appetizer emerges out of the kitchen, a human foot can be seen below its mouth.

Cultural references


Meriwether Williams version.

Kent Osborne version.

  • Merriwether Williams is credited as the third writer in the opening credits on this episode in early TV airings, DVD releases, and non-US DVD releases. However, on recent TV airings, digital releases, and streaming versions of this episode, Kent Osborne is credited instead.
    • In addition, with digital and streaming versions of this episode, Sam Henderson is credited as the first writer and Jay Lender credited as the second writer.
  • When Squidward turns his head over to Squilliam, he is coming to the left, but when Squidward puts his hat in the bin, Squilliam is to the right.

Mr. Krabs' eyes are white instead of pale green.

  • When Mr. Krabs plays the world's smallest violin after the Krusty Krab reverts to its original self, his sclera are white instead of pale green.
  • Judging by the width of the How to Become a Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes book, it does not take longer than 20 minutes to read the entire manual. The title is most likely a figure of speech.
  • Before Squilliam enters the restaurant, the windows of the Krusty Krab are visible, but inside, there is wallpaper covering the windows.
  • The appetizer destroys the door to the kitchen, but the same door is shown to be intact at the end of the episode.

Sky error.

  • When Squilliam arrives at Squidward's "five-star restaurant," it is sunset, but when he is eating his meal, it is nighttime, and when Squidward says, "Would you get out here?!" instead of night, the episode uses a daytime shot of the exterior with the brightness reduced.
    • The Krusty Krab turns normal, however, it was already decorated.
  • When Patrick and Mr. Krabs are bound and gagged in the back, Mr. Krabs' legs are not tied but his eyes are. However, when he comes from the kitchen, it is the other way around.
  • During the commotion towards the end of the episode, two instances of Incidental 60 can be seen running in opposite directions during the same shot.
  • When Mr. Krabs comes out from the back, he has no arms. It is unlikely that his hands were tied behind his back, because before that, it shows that SpongeBob tied his hands on his stomach.
  • When Squidward asks SpongeBob how he transformed the Krusty Krab, Squidward addresses SpongeBob by name. SpongeBob replies as if he already knows his name. Towards the end of the episode, however, when Squilliam asks him his name, SpongeBob's name is "thrown out" of his mind. This conundrum does not put a major loophole in the entire storyline.