The house consists of a base that looks like an Easter Island head, but with another one on top, ending with a balcony, and tipped with a flag showing Squilliam's face. The house also has a beautiful garden with a golden doorknob unibrow and soda waterfall.
Inside the house at the front door, there is a large foyer with white marble columns and decorative paintings.
Across the hall, a gilded doorknob is attached to the wall, but is function-less. The bathroom features a golden toilet and a jewel-encrusted toilet paper holder. On the same floor, there is an elevator.
The hallway heading to the elevator is decorated with marble busts of Squilliam, paintings, and columns. Inside the elevator, it is decorated with pictures of Squilliam, who is posing as Poseidon holding a trident. The floors are G, 2, 3, 4, Not Quite, Almost Roof, and The Roof. When starting the elevator and the door closes, golden fish heads in the wall will squirt out warm water, making it a hot tub.
The roof has a garden; in the garden, there is a waterfall and a stream of soda pop with seahorses as fountains, flowers, a marble bust of Squilliam's head which has a nose, functional as a phone, and a 130-foot sculpture of Squilliam's unibrow, made completely out of gilded doorknobs. Nicholas described it as it being huge and lifelike. The elevator can go to the roof even if the roof is small and has a flag.
Role in series
It is briefly seen when Squidward is on the phone with Squilliam.