Squidward's house's mouth is the door, but originally, its mouth was closed and a door rested underneath it. The house's exterior styling is reminiscent of a "Moai," giant statues found on Easter Island also referred to as the Easter Island Heads.
The ground floor consists of three adjoining rooms; the one at the front being the living room. The living room consists of a bookcase with some of Squidward's jazz records, a couch, coffee table and TV. Behind the living room is the kitchen with a fridge, an island counter, and four cabinets. This is where Squidward cooks. The dining room is off to the side and consists of a round table with chairs and a clamshell chandelier. There is a room off to the side with a spiral staircase leading to the second floor. There is also an elevator. Upstairs is a bedroom on the left ear.
In the bedroom is a canopy bed, a nightstand, and a closet with alarm clocks, as seen in "Employee of the Month." Off of the bedroom is a bathroom with a toilet, sink with medicine cabinet, and a Jacuzzi tub/shower. There's also a gallery where Squidward paints his self-portraits and plays the clarinet. Other upstairs rooms include a library and back room. The architectural style is Polynesian.
In some episodes, it is shown that he has a backyard and at times, raises a garden there.
Kitchen: This room is at the back. This is where Squidward cooks and prepares his food.
Dining room: Next to the kitchen. This is where Squidward eats his meals and is where he keeps his shellphone.
Living room: Squidward watches TV and enjoys Sundays here, as seen in the episode "Good Neighbors."
"Skill Crane" - Squidward gives up the deed to his house while he was trying to win a prize.
"Good Neighbors" - Squidward busts his head through the door screaming that SpongeBob and Patrick are the worst neighbors ever when SpongeBob said if he was going to say something. It then comes alive and destroys Bikini Bottom.
"Rule of Dumb" - Patrick moves his house to make a Ferris wheel, destroying the inside and dropping the house into the ground.
"House Fancy" - When he was in a hurry, he made SpongeBob vacuum, the vacuum cleaner exploded and the house remodeled. Also, after Patrick used Squidward's bathroom, the toilet crawled out moaning and then died.
"Giant Squidward" - The citizens of Bikini Bottom set up a trap at the house cutting off the top.
"Squid's Visit" - The house caught on fire and was vaporized while Squidward was visiting SpongeBob. It was caused by a casserole in the oven.
"Growth Spout" - Mr. Krabs stole some food so he could feed his daughter Pearl. When he left, the house said "Oh well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway." What's interesting to note is that while the house just said "oh well", Squidward was angry about it and tried to call the cops, as it hints that the house is not as grumpy as Squidward. Also in this episode, the kitchen is in an unknown room in an unknown floor.
"Squid Baby" - A boat files right into the house completely destroying it.
"Bubble Buddy Returns" - Bubble Buddy's son goes into the house destroying many internal possessions, including his kitchen and a collection of glass menagerie he owned with one of the four containing a version of himself as a mermaid.
"Sold!" - SpongeBob and Patrick destroy his house by flipping it before the house was collapsed.
"Man Ray Returns"' - SpongeBob and Patrick battle Man Ray inside the house and completely trashed the place. They even tried to put everything back together with their saliva, but when Squidward returns, the house completely crumbles to the ground.
"Bunny Hunt" - Squidward unintentionally destroys his house when he was trying to get rid of the sea bunnies.
"The String" - The house was presumably destroyed when SpongeBob unraveled all of Bikini Bottom and the Milky Way with the string.
Squidward's house appears to have a mind of its own, usually to give a comedic effect.
"Good Neighbors" - It comes alive, grows robot limbs, and destroys most of Bikini Bottom, though unlike the other episodes, this is because of the security system Squidward set up going haywire.
"Funny Pants" - It covers its ears and makes an angry face due to SpongeBob's crying.
"Growth Spout" - After Mr. Krabs steals food from the house, the front door says "Oh well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway."
"A Friendly Game" - Same as "Funny Pants," but the hands are sand and it does not make an angry face, due to SpongeBob's alarm at the start.
In a Nick Magazine comic strip titled "House of Squidward," there is a switch buried in the backyard that makes Squidward's house come to life. He grows feet and arms. He is brought to rest when SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward cleverly disguise SpongeBob's house as a woman. Using a microphone and a speaker controlled by SpongeBob, they are able to trick the house into sitting back down in behind the walkway and then flip the switch to keep Squidward's house from moving.