Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Squid on Strike" from season 2, which aired on October 12, 2001.

  • [The episode opens at the Krusty Krab. In his office, Mr. Krabs is sitting at his desk with an adding machine, singing.]
  • Mr. Krabs: ♪ Countin' me money, money sweeter than honey. Money, money, this. Money, money, that. Profit will make me wallet fat! ♪
  • [His eyes bug out at the ticker tape]
  • Mr. Krabs: What?! Profits down three dollars from last month! I gotta start runnin' a tighter ship around here!
  • [Meanwhile, Squidward is helping Incidental 63 in his ordering boat at the dining area of the Krusty Krab.]
  • Squidward: Thank you for choosing the Krusty Krab. Here's your change.
  • [Gives Incidental 63 a dollar, and she walks off. Mr. Krabs approaches him.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward!
  • Squidward: What?
  • Mr. Krabs: What's with all this "change" nonsense?
  • [SpongeBob walks over, knotting his tie.]
  • SpongeBob: Over and under, grab the end, put it through here, up and around, round the horn, bring it back home.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hmm? SpongeBob! I ain't payin' you to play dress up! [Squidward becomes exasperated, and sighs deeply.] Breathe on your own time. I don't pay ya to breathe.
  • Squidward: You hardly pay us at all.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me. I got somethin' for ye.
  • [He hands them envelopes.]
  • Squidward: Ah, yes, our meager restitution! [He takes the envelope and smells it.] Ah, the sweet smell of payday! [He opens it and finds a pair of underwear. The sound of a fly buzzing is heard.] Huh?!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, sorry, that's me dry cleanin’! [He trades envelopes with him.] Here's your check.
  • [He gives SpongeBob an envelope as well.]
  • Mr. Krabs: And here's yours, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: I can't accept your money, Mr. Krabs. [As Mr. Krabs greedily takes back the envelope, SpongeBob holds up his spatula with wide eyes.] Grilling is my passion.
  • Squidward: What is this?! [He sees that there is a bill instead of a check. It charges Squidward for breathing: one dollar ($1.00), talking: five dollars ($5.00), standing: ten dollars ($10.00), existing: two dollars ($2.00), lollygagging: two dollars ($2.00), and chewing: one dollar.($1.00)] You're making me pay you to stand at the cash register?! What is the meaning of this?! Have you gone off the deep end?!
  • Mr. Krabs: There's gonna be a few changes around here. Every time I catch you two goofin' off, I'm gonna charge ya for it.
  • [SpongeBob walks up to Mr. Krabs, preparing money for him.]
  • SpongeBob: 18... 19... and... 20. Here ya go, Mr. K. I think this should cover all my nonsense. Oh, and here's an extra fifty cents for when I was tying my shoe. [Mr. Krabs is drooling over SpongeBob's cash and pants like a dog as Squidward pulls SpongeBob towards him.]
  • Squidward: Uh, SpongeBob? What do you think you're doing?
  • SpongeBob: I'm just giving Mr. Krabs the money I owe him.
  • Squidward: Well, I'm not paying that cheapskate Krabs one cent, and I suggest you do the same.
  • SpongeBob: Why?
  • Squidward: We've got to unite as workers and demand the respect we deserve from the boss! In fact, you and I should go on strike!
  • SpongeBob: Wow! You and me go on strike?
  • Squidward: Sure! After all, you like your job, right?
  • SpongeBob: Right!
  • Squidward: And you wanna keep working here, right?
  • SpongeBob: Right!
  • Squidward: And while you work here, you expect to be treated fairly, right?
  • SpongeBob: Right!
  • Squidward: Then let's go on strike!
  • SpongeBob: Yay! A strike! [He starts to sing excitedly.] ♪ Goin' on strike! We're goin' on strike! ♪ I still don't know what strike means. But...[continues to sing] ♪ we're goin' on a strike! ♪ [He inadvertently kicks Mr. Krabs in the rear-end as the latter sweeps the floor.] Hey, guess what, Mr. Krabs? Me and Squidward are gonna go on strike!
  • Mr. Krabs: A strike?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah.
  • Mr. Krabs: You mean you're gonna make picket signs?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah.
  • Mr. Krabs: And you're gonna make protest speeches?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah!
  • Mr. Krabs: And you're gonna demand me respect?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah!!! [Cut to SpongeBob sobbing outside of the Krusty Krab. Due to the plan of going on strike, he got fired along with Squidward.] No... [Squidward is with him.] Nooooooooo! Squidward! You didn't tell me I was gonna get fired! Without the Krusty Krab, I-I-I... [He cries more.] Oh, Squidward, could you hold me? I think I'm gonna be sick.
  • Squidward: SpongeBob! [He grabs SpongeBob and pulls him off the door, but his arms and legs stick.] Newsflash, SpongeBob! I got fired, too! [SpongeBob is suctioned to the door. Squidward pulls him off again, and this time his face remains pressed against the door.] This is exactly why we need to go on strike. [SpongeBob flies back to the door. Squidward pulls him off once more, and this time SpongeBob's front sticks to the door, and we can see his skeleton and internal organs on his other side.] He can't treat us like this anymore! [SpongeBob goes back to the door and Squidward's eyes become bloodshot.] He owes us for all the precious, irretrievable moments we've wasted in this trash heap. [SpongeBob and Squidward look through the door to see Mr. Krabs blowing dust off his old "Help Wanted" sign.] Soon, he'll realize he needs us more than we need him. We are workers united! [SpongeBob holds Squidward's hand, which the latter notices.] Ahem.
  • SpongeBob: [withdraws his hand] Sorry.
  • Squidward: Just do exactly as I say, SpongeBob, and in no time, you'll have your job back and more.
  • SpongeBob: And more?
  • [He imagines himself in his Krusty Krew uniform hat, except his hat is much bigger.]
  • Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, now listen up. I'm going to have to teach you how to strike. First, we must get rid of our uniforms, [He takes off his hat.] they are a symbol of our oppression. I want you to throw your hat on the ground like so. [Squidward throws it into the ground and stomps on it.] Now, stomp it into the dust! Your turn, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob hesitantly takes his hat off.] That's the idea. Now, throw it on the ground.
  • [SpongeBob attempts to do so, but the hat sticks to his hand like gum.]
  • SpongeBob: [wails] I can't do it, Squidward! This hat is my friend! It never oppressed me.
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, you're pathetic! Look, I threw my hat to the ground.
  • [Incidental 118 walks up to Squidward with a ticket for littering and confessing.]
  • Incidental 118: Aha! A confession! Next time, think before you litter.
  • [He sticks the ticket to Squidward's forehead and leaves. Later, Squidward and SpongeBob are painting signs.]
  • Squidward: Okay, pay attention, SpongeBob. Now we're gonna make picket signs. This is a very important part of striking.
  • [SpongeBob holds up a picket fence on a stick.]
  • SpongeBob: Like this, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Not a picket fence, you ding-dong! Picket sign!
  • [SpongeBob holds up a sign that has a finger picking his nose.]
  • SpongeBob: How's this?
  • Squidward: ...No. [He picks up his, which reads: "Krusty Krab Unfair."] This is a picket sign: Krusty Krab Unfair. Short, sweet, and to the point.
  • SpongeBob: [He holds up his similar to Squidward's, except it reads: "Krusty Krab Funfair."] How about this, Squidward?
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, it's "Unfair," not "Funfair"!
  • [A fish walks by]
  • Sandals: A funfair? Where? I could go for some fun.
  • SpongeBob: At the Krusty Krab.
  • Sandals: Hey, everybody! Let's go to the fun fair! [A crowd of fish trample Squidward to get to the restaurant. Bubble transition to SpongeBob holding a sign that says "No Fair!" on it]
  • SpongeBob: Krusty Krab is unfair! Mr. Krabs is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting his oppression!
  • [A teenager fish with a cap and braces walks up]
  • Teenage Fry Cook: What the heck does that mean?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know. Squidward told me to yell it at people.
  • Teenage Fry Cook: Then you must be SpongeBob SquarePants!
  • SpongeBob: Yes!
  • Teenage Fry Cook: Dude, you are like a fry cook legend! Will you sign my spatula?
  • [He pulls out a pen]
  • SpongeBob: Anything for an aspiring fry cook. [puts the sign down and signs the spatula] So, did you come down to help out the cause?
  • Teenage Fry Cook: No, I came to take your job.
  • [SpongeBob is shocked. The fish grabs his spatula and pen and runs into the Krusty Krab to apply for a job]
  • Teenage Fry Cook: Hey, thanks, dude!
  • [Squidward walks up and bellows at SpongeBob through the megaphone so loudly that his facial features fall off, and he flies away.]
  • Squidward: Attention, SpongeBob! You are a terrible striker! [SpongeBob inserts his eyes into their sockets] You just let your replacement cross our picket line without so much as a single threat.
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward. [He holds up a sign reading, "I Heart the Krusty Krab"] How about I try the signs again?
  • Squidward: [into megaphone] Forget the signs! I've got something for you to do. Go stand over there!
  • [SpongeBob stands next to a telephone pole.]
  • SpongeBob: Like this, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Almost, a little more to the right... aaaaand..... perfect. [We see that SpongeBob is now hidden behind the telephone pole. As Squidward begins to speak, a crowd gathers] Attention, people of Bikini Bottom! You have been cheated and lied to!
  • Incidental 93: I knew it!
  • [She slaps Incidental 92.]
  • Squidward: The gentle laborer shall no longer suffer from the noxious greed of Mr. Krabs!
  • [The crowd cheers]
  • Incidental 2: Hey, what's that guy talking about?
  • Incidental 4: I dunno, but he's got a megaphone.
  • Squidward: We will dismantle oppression board by board! We'll saw the foundation of big business in half, even if it takes an eternity!
  • [The crowd cheers]
  • SpongeBob: [From behind pole] Gee, I don't know what Squidward's talking about, but he sure sounds convincing.
  • Squidward: With your support, we will send the hammer of the people's will crashing through the windows of Mr. Krabs' house of servitude!
  • [He speaks into Fred's face, and his eyes shoot into the back of his head. Then, they return to their sockets. Everyone cheers.]
  • Incidental 65: Wow, all this supporting is making me hungry.
  • Sandals: Hey, everybody! Let's go get a Krabby Patty!
  • [Everyone cheers and run into the Krusty Krab, once again trampling Squidward.]
  • Squidward: Nobody gives a care about the fate of labor as long as they can get their instant gratification.
  • [SpongeBob walks up to him.]
  • SpongeBob: That was a great speech, Squidward. You practically had them eating out of your hands.
  • Mr. Krabs: But they didn't, did they, Mr. Squidward? 'Cause they were too busy eatin' outta mine. I wish you two had gone on strike earlier. Thanks for attractin' all these payin' customers with all your signage and your sloganeerin'!
  • SpongeBob: Alright, Mr. Krabs. You've gone too far this time. You can pick on me, but Squidward is a great leader. We are workers united! We're tired of your smelly greed! And we're gonna saw all your tables, and we're gonna smash stuff with the people's hammer. [Squidward is back to his upright standing position.] And we're gonna... we're gonna... um... Squidward, what was that other part?
  • Squidward: Dismantle your oppressive establishment?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, that, too!
  • [Mr. Krabs pretends to yawn and leaves]
  • SpongeBob: And me and Squidward are gonna stay on strike until we get what we deserve! Even if it takes forever!
  • [Squidward's eyes become bloodshot. SpongeBob's voice echoes "forever" in Squidward's mind as he opens the door to his house, takes a bath, looks in the mirror, and sits in bed, wide-eyed. He seems to have a case of insomnia as the word haunts him.]
  • Squidward: On strike with SpongeBob... forever?! [He imagines himself as an old man with a white beard holding a sign reading, "Krusty Still Unfair." Cobwebs branch from him to the ground. An old SpongeBob approaches him, supported by a cane]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. I bet old man Krabs is gonna break any day. [tugs Squidward's beard] Ehhh, Squidward... Ehhh, Squidward... [bonks Squidward on the head with his cane] Nyeh, Squidward? Nyeh, Squidward? [floats around Squidward] Nyeh, Squidward? Nyeh, Squidward?
  • [Back to reality as Squidward lies in bed screaming.]
  • Squidward: I gotta beg Mr. Krabs for my job back and put an end to this nightmare!
  • [He runs to the door and opens it, and Mr. Krabs is there in his nightclothes, about to knock on it]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh! Uh, evenin', Mr. Squidward. Uh... I was just in the neighborhood and I, uh... thought I'd drop by to... beg ya to come back to work! The Krusty Krab is a wreck! I'm ruined without you and the little yella guy. [He grovels at Squidward's feet] The teenagers I hired is ruinin' the place! And the worst part is, they won't leave me alone! [The teenagers appear right outside the door]
  • Teenagers: Alright, Mr. Krabs! [They give him the thumbs up]
  • Mr. Krabs: See what I mean? [sobbing] Squidward, please! You gotta come back!
  • Squidward: You'll give us anything we want?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes, anything. So what do ya say, Mr. Squidward?
  • Squidward: Your story breaks my heart, Mr. Krabs. Why don't we take a little walk and, uh... discuss my terms?
  • Mr. Krabs: I got a bad feelin' in the pit of me wallet.
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob listening to "Hey, Mean Mr. Bossman", sung by Sage Guyton and Jeremy Wakefield, on a country record in his bedroom.]
  • Sage Guyton and Jeremy Wakefield: ♪ Hey, mean Mr. Bossman, I'm a-quittin' this here job ♪
  • SpongeBob: Gee, being on strike with Squidward sure is a kick. Squidward's words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry jellyfish. Squidward was right! I can't just sit here, it's time for action! [He kicks open his front door, hammer and saw in hand. He runs to the Krusty Krab and into the dining room] I will restore the working man to his rightful glory. I will dismantle this oppressive establishment board by board! [He pulls up a loose floorboard. He then saws a table in half] I will saw the tables of tyranny in half. Gnaw at the ankles of big business! [He takes a bite out of a wooden column. Mouth full] Squidward will be so proud!
  • [Bubble transition to Bikini Atoll at dawn. The scene cuts to Squidward and Mr. Krabs, now fully dressed, walking to the Krusty Krab.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, Squidward, those were intense negotiations.
  • Squidward: I'm glad you saw it our way, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Now I can fire them teenagers and get me two golden boys back. Well, see ya at work!
  • [Squidward sees a disassembled Krusty Krab with jade-green smoke and screams for the damaging restaurant. Mr. Krabs seems not to notice and hums as he puts his key where the door used to be, unlocking nothing. SpongeBob peeks out from the mangled sign pole. He runs out, trying to hold in his laughter.]
  • Squidward: S-Sp-SpongeBob! W-W-What have you done?
  • SpongeBob: I did exactly as you said, Squidward. I dismantled the establishment! Now we'll get our jobs back for sure.
  • [Mr. Krabs walks through the rubble of the Krusty Krab, oblivious, and sits in his chair. Only then, does he see the debris. Only the floor and base of the walls remain, so when he looks straight ahead from his chair, he can see Squidward and SpongeBob at the dilapidated door frame. Mr. Krabs' arms pop off followed by his eyes. His head slides off his torso and onto the floor where his nose falls out of it. Then his pelvis and legs fall out of his chair.]
  • Mr. Krabs: [furiously] Squidward! SpongeBob!
  • [SpongeBob is excited, but Squidward is nervous.]
  • Both: Yes, Mr. Krabs?
  • SpongeBob: Here it comes!
  • Mr. Krabs: In order to pay off these damages, you two are gonna work for me forever!
  • SpongeBob: Ya-hoo! The strike worked, Squidward! We got our jobs back, forever!
  • ["Forever" once again echoes inside Squidward's mind, and the camera zooms in on his bloodshot eyes.]
  • French Narrator: [Time Card] One eternity later...
  • [The Krusty Krab is shown to be full of dust in the future, but without any customers. Cobwebs are everywhere. A skeleton Squidward sweeps the floor, and a skeleton SpongeBob waits in the ordering boat as the new cashier, ending the episode.]
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