- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Alternate-Universe Squidward
- Norton (name revealed)
- Norton's supervisor (mentioned)
- Widow Duncan (debut)
- Frankie Billy (cameo)
- Tom (cameo)
- Incidental 60 (cameo)
- Taylor Fishbowl (cameo)
- Harold Bill Reginald Scott
- Evelyn (cameo)
- Jennifer Millie (cameo)
- Nazz-Mimi (cameo)
- Mevis (cameo)
- Popeye fish (cameo)
- Frank (muscular goldfish) (cameo)
- Jim (wrestler) (cameo)
- Big fish (cameo)
- Larry the Lobster
- Purple weightlifter (debut)
- Paco (cameo)
- Incidental 67 (cameo)
- Abigail (light blue fish) (cameo)
- Dave (cameo)
- Frank (lifeguard) (cameo)
- Sandals (cameo)
- John (cameo)
- Jimmy Gus (cameo)
- Medley Fishbowl (cameo)
- Vera Fishbowl (cameo)
- Clay (cameo)
- Tina Fran (cameo)
- Joe (cameo)
- Nancy Suzy Fish (cameo)
- Harry (fish) (cameo)
- Nat Peterson (cameo)
- Thaddeus (cameo)
- Incidental 68 (cameo)
- Martha Smith (cameo)
- Sea snake (mentioned)
- Debbie Rechid (cameo)
- Perch Perkins
One afternoon at Squidward's house, Squidward is seen preparing for his day until he hears his doorbell ring. When Squidward answers the door he finds SpongeBob there, who asks what he is doing. Squidward replies that he is busy but SpongeBob wonders why he is busy. Squidward says he's going to spend quality time with someone important and slams the door on SpongeBob before continuing to enjoy his afternoon. However, his door rings again and, thinking it's SpongeBob, accidentally yells at a mailman. Squidward then takes the mail and it's revealed as an invitation to the Galleria Diphteria. However, Squidward notices some words at the bottom and the mailman says he can bring someone to go along. SpongeBob is eager to go but Squidward declines the offer and slams the door on SpongeBob yet again.
A little later, Squidward is trying to find some friends to take to the Galleria Diphteria but is having some trouble. Squidward gets an idea after seeing SpongeBob run outside with a jump rope and runs outside to ask him. SpongeBob believes Squidward was going to ask him to go to the art gallery opening, but Squidward just asks him where the mailman went. SpongeBob tells him he went over to Widow Duncan's house and Squidward runs off toward the house. Squidward finds the mailman who is in the middle of delivering a package. The two of them figure out they have most things in common and they say what they hate most in unison. Squidward tells the mailman that it is SpongeBob, but the mailman tells Squidward that it is clarinets, leaving him shocked. As the mailman continues talking about why he hates clarinets, Squidward is already gone. The mailman (revealing himself as Norton) hits himself thinking he is too opinionated.
Later, Squidward is seen walking in town and picks up a can belonging to SpongeBob. Squidward wants to tell SpongeBob something important but it turns out he just wants to talk to Larry. At the beach, Squidward tries to ask Larry to go to the art gallery with him but Larry manages to convince Squidward to go riding on a jet ski instead. Squidward and Larry go riding around into the carnival and eventually do other activities such as playing pool, going to the movies, and playing instruments together. Squidward replies to Larry that he met someone earlier that didn't like clarinet music and Larry agrees with him. Squidward asks Larry if he would go to the gallery opening later and Larry agrees but he only wants to make a protein shake first.
However, Squidward calls the protein "glop" and starts to mock people that drink them. An enraged Larry smashes Squidward into the ground and walks off. Squidward is saddened but SpongeBob appears and helps him out of the hole. Squidward thanks SpongeBob and SpongeBob says he'll do anything for a friend. Upon hearing that, Squidward asks SpongeBob to go with him to the gallery show and SpongeBob gasps in excitement. However, at Galleria Diphteria, it turns out Squidward ends up going with a reflection of himself in the mirror (With SpongeBob in a black suit carrying the mirror around) with Perch Perkins remarking it is "sad." Squidward then tells his reflection that he will always be his "plus one."
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Squidward's Tiki Land - Aaron Springer, Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [opening]
‣ Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob at door]
‣ Squidward's Tiki Land - Aaron Springer, Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, and Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward sits down/"You have a great vocabulary."]
‣ Hawaiian Solo Steel - Jeremy Wakefield [Norton cries]
‣ The Donut Dilemma - Nicolas Carr [Squidward gets his mail]
‣ Parting of the Clouds - Nicolas Carr ["Why, it's beautiful!"]
‣ Box Office [#80] - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [Squidward reads invitation.]
‣ Box Office [#77] - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin ["Oh, I've heard of that!"]
‣ Lite Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony ["What are you still doing here?"]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks - Jeremy Wakefield [Norton leaves]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (j) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I like openings"]
‣ A Fishy Conversation - Barry Anthony [Squidward flips through Rolodex]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Tonight?!"]
‣ A Fishy Conversation - Barry Anthony ["Let's see, there must be someone."]
‣ Gator - Steve Belfer [SpongeBob running with jump rope]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (r) - Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward runs off]
‣ The Fruitcake Vendor - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony ["What? What are you..."]
‣ Unknown Track 37 - Nicolas Carr ["I'm an introvert!"]
‣ Tentically Speaking - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward makes conversation with Norton]
‣ Who Said That - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Norton explains why he hates clarinets]
‣ Solo Steel - Jeremy Wakefield ["Stupid, stupid, stupid!"]
‣ Bumbling (b) - Bernd Gesell ["I've always taken a shine to you."]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (v) - Jeremy Wakefield [Norton runs off]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (t) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Oh, who are you kidding?"]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [Squidward gets an idea]
‣ City Bustle - Larry Hochman ["You don't have to ask me three times!"]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (s) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Oh, okeydoke."]
‣ Surfing Sponge - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Larry lifting weights]
‣ Unknown Track 5 - Squidward and Larry jet skiing
‣ ? - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward playing clarinet]
‣ The Fruitcake Vendor - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward asks Larry to come to the opening]
‣ Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Larry's ticked!]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (p) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I guess it's just you and me again."]
‣ You're Nice - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob appears behind Squidward]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr ["Friend?"]
‣ Climb to Altitude - Trevor Duncan ["Would you be my plus one?"]
‣ Big Show Theme - Robert Sharples [ending]
- This episode is available on the SpongeBob LongPants, Complete Ninth Season, and Next 100 Episodes DVDs.
- This episode's title card is meant to represent an admission ticket.
- This episode reveals that Squidward uses incorrect grammar when he speaks, even though he claims he has good grammar.
- This episode may take place in spring because there are more flowers grown on the sides of SpongeBob's house.
- This is the first episode to use "You're Nice" as the title card music since "The Krusty Plate" from season 5.
- This is the third episode where Squidward's last name is mispronounced. The first is "The Great Snail Race" and the second is "Are You Happy Now?"
- This episode premiered 14 years after "The Secret Box" and "Band Geeks" and three years after "License to Milkshake."
- This episode premiered in Canada 13 years after Tales from the Deep, Bikini Bottom Bash!, and Deep Sea Sillies were releases, 11 years after The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie was released in theaters in Spain, 5 years after "Sponge-Cano!," "The Main Drain," "The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom," and "Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle" premiered, and one year after The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water was released in Belgium and the Netherlands.
- This episode premiered in Japan sixteen years after The Good, the Bad, and the Krabby and A Christmas Coral were published, eleven years after the SpongeBob DetectivePants: The Case of the Missing Spatula book and The Art Contest: No Cheating Allowed! were published, four years after "Don't Look Now" and "Séance Shméance" premiered in Greece, and a year after "Mall Girl Pearl" and "Two Thumbs Down" premiered in Canada and "Patrick! The Game" and "The Sewers of Bikini Bottom" premiered in Israel.
- Starting with this episode, Perch returns to being purple.
- When Larry towers over Squidward threateningly, Squidward's clarinet is gold. After Larry smashes Squidward into the ground, the clarinet is black again.
- SpongeBob happily blinking his eyes at Squidward.