Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

"Sportz?" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season 10. In this episode, Squidward invents a new sport to get back at SpongeBob and Patrick for annoying him, until Sandy catches on.



The episode begins with SpongeBob taking out the trash. Meanwhile, a package falls out of a mail truck and onto SpongeBob's lawn. Patrick and SpongeBob wonder what is inside. SpongeBob looks for an address, but he does not see one. Patrick opens the package, and they find a bunch of sports equipment in the package. However, SpongeBob and Patrick are not sure what the equipment does, so they decide to test out the stuff.

First, they think that a golf club is used to get books off the top shelf, so they knock the books down. Second, they think a bowling ball is a whipped cream holder. Patrick tries to eat the whipped cream on the bowling ball, but he accidentally drops the bowling ball and it lands in his mouth, followed by the bowling ball breaking the floor and Patrick falling through it. Third, they think a baseball glove is a portable snail bed. Patrick wants to try it, so he knocks Gary off of it. Patrick falls asleep on it as well.

While they are trying out the sports equipment, Squidward is making a sophisticated meal. A tennis ball then breaks through his window and starts bouncing around his kitchen. Squidward gets angered by this, and then he hears SpongeBob and Patrick laughing. He goes outside and sees the two destroying his garden. Squidward becomes infuriated, and he questions what they are doing with the equipment. SpongeBob and Patrick do not know what equipment means, so Squidward explains it to them. SpongeBob doesn't know what sports are, so Squidward tells him and Patrick the definition of the hobby.

SpongeBob and Patrick want to play sports. The two of them want Squidward to teach them how to play sports. Squidward opposes, until Angel and Devil Squidward show up. Angel Squidward says he should teach them, but if they play incorrectly, sports can be dangerous. Devil Squidward says he should teach them incorrectly because it is accordingly payback time. Squidward then changes his mind and "teaches them."

First, they play horseshoes, except they have blindfolds and pain gets them points. After playing it 100 more times, SpongeBob and Patrick are severely injured. Second, the two of them have to do a race with ice skates. SpongeBob and Patrick's feet severely injured in the process. After they finish the race, they are really hurt. SpongeBob and Patrick have a big sports tournament, only to continue getting really hurt.

SpongeBob and Patrick injured.

While they are having the big tournament, Sandy is looking for her sports equipment. She finds the package, but it does not have her sports equipment. Sandy hears the big tournament and walks there to ask SpongeBob and Patrick what is going on. SpongeBob says that he and Patrick are in the middle of a sports game. Sandy says this is not any sports game she has ever seen before. SpongeBob says it is kickboxing, while Sandy says that whatever they are playing, it is causing them a lot of pain, but SpongeBob and Patrick will not stop playing because they are in a middle of a tie.

The Rule Giver comes out. Sandy goes to The Rule Giver and then realizes it is Squidward. The latter prefers "King of Sportz." Sandy realizes that Squidward is making a game where SpongeBob and Patrick get hurt and will not let them stop. Squidward says that he is just giving the people what they want. Sandy makes an effort to put a stop to this because SpongeBob and Patrick are getting severely injured.

Squidward resumes the game, and Sandy challenges him to a game of basketball, but the former refuses. The people say they want him to play, so he ends up doing so. The first round is basketball. Sandy wins this round and Squidward says it was a foul. Sandy, however, calls him out on this, telling him to go tell that to his mother. Squidward then goes to his mother, but she does not want to hear it.

The second round is soccer. Sandy wins again. The third round is football. Sandy wins for the third time in a row. The fourth round is pool, which Sandy wins. Sandy is the winner of sports.

Since Squidward got hurt throughout the game, he becomes just as injured as SpongeBob and Patrick did. The pair come to talk about the game she and Squidward had. Sandy ends their game and says that they are both winners. She then gives all three of them a big hug. She hugs them so hard that Squidward's head pops and his eyes fall out of him.



Promotional art for this episode.

The episode's name was confirmed in a tweet by Vincent Waller on November 12, 2016.[2]



 ) Production music
 ) Original music
 ) SpongeBob music

  Sporting Triumph - Ronald Hanmer [Title card]
  A Pineapple Luau - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Opening]
  Breathing Underwater - Nicolas Carr ["Ooh..."]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 14A - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob looking through the box.]
  Unknown Track 38 - SpongeBob takes sports equipment from the box.
  Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob and Patrick trying to figure out what the sports equipment is for.]
  Hawaiian Solo Steel - Nicolas Carr, Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick gets sleep.]
  Bobmatisme - Achille Alberto Scotti [Squidward preparing a meal for himself.]
  Tension Bits - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward growls.]
  Seaweed 2 - Steve Belfer [Squidward's garden gets ruined by SpongeBob and Patrick.]
  ? [Angel Squidward appears.]
  Down in Davey Jones Locker - Nicolas Carr [Devil Squidward appears.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 1A - Jeremy Wakefield [Angel Squidward crushed by a tennis ball.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 2D - Jeremy Wakefield ["I'd be happy to teach you all about sports, SpongeBob."]
  A Simple Conversation 1 - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob and Patrick throw horseshoes around a stick blindfolded.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 3C - Jeremy Wakefield ["Squidward, can the game be over now?"]
  Earl's Revenge - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob and Patrick skating on the floor.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 15 - Jeremy Wakefield [Close-up of SpongeBob and Patrick's swollen ankles.]
  Hey Look at Me - Sam Spence [SpongeBob and Patrick doing dangerous sports at the outdoor sports arena.]
  A Fishy Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Sandy looking for her sports equipment.]
  Cornu Fanfare (A) - Francis Shaw [The rule giver appears.]
  Big Bad Giant - Paddy Kingsland [Sandy challenges Squidward to a game of basketball.]
  Happy March - Sam Spence [Sandy makes a basket.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 17C - Jeremy Wakefield ["Tell it to your mama, Squidward!"]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 19 - Jeremy Wakefield ["Don't wanna hear it."]
  Speed Trials (a) - Rod Argent, Robert Howes [Sandy playing soccer.]
  Hot Steel and Slide Licks 6C - Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward pulls his head back up.]
  Greenhorn Rag - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Sandy does a football round and launches Squidward to a pool table.]
  The Irish Patriot - Sam Spence [Sandy wins.]
  Bikini Bottom Bound - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Ending.]




  • This episode was paired up with "Spin the Bottle" during the original American airing, but has since been re-airing with "The Incredible Shrinking Sponge."[3]
  • The original U.S. airing does not have the over-the-last-scene credits. Instead, it goes straight to the 2017 Kids' Choice Sports.[citation needed]
    • This episode is sports themed, which is the reason why it aired before the 2017 Kids' Choice Sports.
  • The episode's title is mentioned twice. The first time is when SpongeBob and Patrick ask "What's a sportz?" and second time is when SpongeBob tells Squidward that, "You must know a lot about sportz."
  • The seahorse who lands on Patrick looks like Mystery from "My Pretty Seahorse."
  • It is shown that SpongeBob and Patrick are poor at sports, except for ice skating, karate, and fighting.
    • However, earlier episodes establish they excel at sports.

"San Antonio rules!"


  • When Sandy and Squidward are about to play basketball, Thaddeus' eye is a deep murky blue color instead of white.

Sandy's eyelashes are missing.

  • When Sandy says, "Winner decides the fate of SpongeBob and Patrick," her eyelashes are missing.

Duplicate incidentals.

  • In one shot of the crowd, there are several duplicates of incidentals.
  • During an airing on October 14, 2020, the screen went black at the beginning, causing the title card to be skipped.
  • In several scenes, SpongeBob and Patrick are shown to have bones and skeletal systems, despite the fact sea sponges and starfish are invertebrates.