Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
{{EpisodeTr
 
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{{L|''[episode starts with SpongeBob sweating and his foot makes a slurping sound]''}}
|title = SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One
 
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{{L|Squidward|''[sweating]'' If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.}}
|titlecard = sbspbigone.jpg
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. ''[The fan stops]''}}
|seasonnumber = 6
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Were you talking to me, Squidward?}}
|episodenumber = 111
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs. The f-f...}}
|airdate = [[April 17]], [[2009]]
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.}}
}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|The fan... it...}}
[In the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is very sweaty from mopping and Squidward sighs]
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot, they melted off.}}
Squidward: If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamali on the menu.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Melted off?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|The fan stopped working.}}
SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Huh?}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?}}
[The fan slows down and stops completely]
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. ''[gives SpongeBob the "junk mail," which says: Power Bill Final Notice]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[fans himself]''}}
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|That reminds me. Where are all me customers?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.}}
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? That fff... ff...
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Could you be a little more specific?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|They're at the beach.}}
[Mr. Krabs notices SpongeBob behind him]
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob rips off his squarepants revealing a blue swimsuit, innertube, waterwings and snorkel. The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon]''}}
Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Good word, boy. Don't sneak up on me like that!
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ahoy there!}}
 
  +
{{L|Nat|Whoa!}}
SpongeBob: The fan...ah...
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula]''}}
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going section eight on me are ya?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!}}
 
  +
{{L|Frank|Are they free?}}
SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes...it's so hot they melted off. [shows Krabs his melted shoes]
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.}}
 
  +
{{L|Frank|Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the sand.}}
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?
 
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{{L|Squidward|I told you!}}
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-}}
Squidward: The fan stopped working.
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-}}
Mr. Krabs: Huh?
 
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{{L|Frank|''[shrugs]''}}
 
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{{L|Sandy|-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!}}
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? You didn't forget to pay the power bill again did you?
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, that noise was Sandy.}}
 
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{{L|Sandy|Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!}}
Mr. Krabs: Of course not. Here, [hands him the bill] just fan yourself with this junk mail I keep finding in me mailbox.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Who are you?}}
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Either you buy a patty, or get off me wave!}}
[SpongeBob takes it and notices it is the power bill]
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Cowabunga!}}
 
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{{L|Squidward|What next?}}
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|''[pops up from underwater]''}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|Aloha, Patrick!}}
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I'd love to!}}
Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward, show him the menu.}}
 
Squidward: They're at the beach.
+
{{L|Squidward|''[holds up the menu]''}}
  +
{{L|Patrick|Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one Patrick: on-board! Whoa!}}
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forget to tell ye, close up sharp. We're going to the beach today.
 
  +
{{L|''[Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard]''}}
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Careful! You're gonna capsize us!}}
[SpongeBob tears up his body to reveal a diving suit. Cut to Goo lagoon where the surfers are so hot and bothered that they are not surfing. The Krusty crew surprises two fish on a surfboard with a grill on it]
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Almost up! ''[shaking the board all over the place]''}}
 
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{{L|Squidward|You idiot!}}
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!
 
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{{L|Patrick|''[waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard]'' Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick! Look out!}}
Fish #1: Whoa!
 
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{{L|Sandy|''[riding a wave]'' Locals only!}}
 
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{{L|Patrick|What'd she say?}}
Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs, and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh delicious krabby patty fresh of the grill?
 
  +
{{L|''[all crash]''}}
 
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{{L|Mr. Krabs|Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! ''[hugs his cash register]'' Aaaaahhhhhh!}}
Fish #2: Are they free?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward|Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[hug Squidward]'' Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!}}
Mr. Krabs: Yes, today they're only three dollars, each.
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Wipeouuuuuuuuuuuuuut! ''[lands on an island]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ''[lands in the middle of the ocean]'' Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. ''[Dark clouds fill the sky]'' Black sky. ''[Blood shoots out of the water]'' Water spouts.... of blood. ''[Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one]'' Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. ''[another donut falls from the sky. The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island]''}}
Fish #2: Sounds great, but I left my wallet up on the sand.
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|Guys, look!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[uses seaweed to draw in the sand]''}}
Squidward: I told you.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Just dragging it around.}}
[Sandy's voice pitches in]
 
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{{L|Twitch|Hey there, home-dads.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Huh?}}
Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....haaaa!!
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Welcome to our remote island.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Island?}}
[Sandy arrives on a surfboard]
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Island?}}
 
  +
{{L|''[Patrick is snoring]''}}
Sandy: I love the beach!
 
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{{L|Twitch|That's right, kemo sabe. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?}}
SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|The ocean works in mysterious ways.}}
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|And waves.}}
Sandy: Y'all be careful. Looks like some big waves are comin!
 
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{{L|Twitch|Mysterious waves.}}
 
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{{L|Island wanderers|''[fold hands]'' Om. ''[except for Silent Stan but he does put his hands together]''}}
Squidward: Who are you?
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|''[folds hands]'' Om.}}
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|How did you guys get here?}}
Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a patty or get off me wave!
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G...}}
 
  +
{{L|Chip|Hi.}}
Sandy: Kowabunga! [surfs away]
 
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{{L|Twitch|Chip, and Silent Stan.}}
 
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{{L|''[Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk]''}}
Squidward: What next?
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|And I'm Twitch.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Why do they call you Twitch?}}
[Patrick emerges from underwater with a nose clip on gasping for breath]
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|''[twitches]'' What?}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Never mind.}}
Patrick: Ooh.
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|So what did you say this house is made from again?}}
SpongeBob: Hello ha, Patrick.
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Guano.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Great.}}
Mr. Krabs: Hey there, young fella. How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.}}
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Yo, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.}}
Patrick: I'd love to.
 
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{{L|Awesome Eddie|Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[scared]'' O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? ''[screams]'' Aaaaahhhhhh! ''[starts running in circles around the fire]'' I don't know how to surf! ''[starts crying]''}}
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[stops running and crying]'' Cool!}}
[Squidward holds up a piece of paper with 'menu' written on it]
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.}}
Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.
 
  +
{{L|''[Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|Others...}}
SpongeBob: [laughs at Patrick's joke] That's a good one, Patrick. on board! Whoa!
 
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.}}
[Patrick flips the surfboard up]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[throw their boards into the water]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|And sometimes, it's the retreat.}}
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!
 
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards get hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore. Everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.. SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Narrator|Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...}}
Patrick: Almost up!
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Go!}}
 
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{{L|Narrator|... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.}}
[everyone gasps and shouts 'whoa']
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?}}
 
Squidward: You idiot!
+
{{L|Patrick|You bet!}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Down here! ''[goes underwater with Patrick]'' See? It's a picture of Squidward!}}
 
Patrick: Ooooohh, Whoaaaaa!
+
{{L|Patrick|Wow.}}
  +
{{L|Narrator|But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.. The scene cuts back to the house made of guano]''}}
[While holding on to the edge of the surfboard, Patrick swims backwards very fast]
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Well, dudes, I give up.}}
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|What?}}
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out!
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|These ho-dads are impossible to teach. ''[twitches]'' Especially the one on the end over there. ''[points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it. Big G coughs]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|What's that?}}
[Sandy is surfing behind Patrick]
 
  +
{{L|''[Big G coughs again]''}}
 
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{{L|Awesome Eddie|Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.}}
Sandy: Locals only!
 
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{{L|''[Big G coughs again]''}}
 
Patrick: What's she saying? Whoa!
+
{{L|SpongeBob|What's he saying?}}
  +
{{L|Twitch|He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Who?}}
(Sandy's wave hits the crew and they go flying and so does Sandy on her own, Mr Krabs and his cash register and SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward together.]
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|His name ''[twitches]'' is Jack Kahuna Laguna. Or JKL, for short.}}
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie and Chip|Amen. ''[Big G coughs]''}}
Mr. Krabs: Aaah!... [grabs cash register] aaah!
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Will there be nachos there? ''[Squidward looks angrily at him. The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into]''}}
SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward: Aaaah! {Patrick and SpongeBob grab Squidward] aaahh!
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.}}
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|''[twitches]'' No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.}}
Sandy: I'm out! [lands on a deserted island]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|How far up stream did you say it was?}}
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.}}
Mr. Krabs: Yaaah! [lands in the sea. he comes up to the surface with his cash register] Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm:
 
  +
{{L|Awesome Eddie|We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.}}
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|Yeah, interpret that any way you want.}}
(Black clouds form]
 
  +
{{L|''[On the TV version, commercials are shown. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!}}
Mr. Krabs: Black sky?
 
  +
{{L|''[As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored]''}}
 
  +
{{L|♪I'll make a beeline for the treeline. Getting back to nature always does me good. I'll make a beeline for the treeline, I just can't wait to get back in the woods. And if I need to close my eyes and dream, Of some quite mountain or stream, That's when I make the beeline for the treeline.♪}}
[Waterspouts of blood shoot up from the sea]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Again?!}}
Mr. Krabs: Waterspouts of blood?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO]'' Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys! I found the Cove! ''[giggles]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.}}
[Jelly doughnuts fall from the sky. Mr Krabs eats one]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|You've never even seen him!}}
Mr. Krabs: Jelly doughnuts falling from the sky? What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's triangle! I'm right above Davy Jone's locker! In the devil's gully!
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. ''[close-up on his face. He is very ugly]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[grossed out]'' You're right.}}
[Another doughnut falls from the sky. Cut to the surf island where the wave washes SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward onto the beach. A group of fish notice them]
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|''[pointing to a hut]'' Look!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[a really long surfboard begins to emerge from the hut]''}}
Eddy: Guys, look.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|It's him!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge]'' Oh, my- ''[faints. A man emerges from the hut]''}}
{SpongeBob uses some seaweed to create a square in the sand]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|It's JKL! [Gulps] Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Plus, we wanna talk to you.}}
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? ''[JKL says nothing]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Uh...}}
SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I kinda like staring at him.}}
Twitch: Hey there, hol dads.
 
  +
{{L|''[Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard. SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?}}
SpongeBob: Huh?
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|That... was your first lesson. ''[returns to his hut]''}}
Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|''[magically returnes to the water. we then see him playing his drums]'' Just keep breathing.}}
SpongeBob: Island?
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard]'' ''[makes gibberish noises]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs| ''[pulls a shell out of the water]'' Look, Cashy! ''[breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed]'' Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? ''[Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head who's flying by]''}}
Squidward: Island?
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Ow!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Arrrgh! It's the Flying Dutchman!}}
[camera goes to Patrick who is sleeping in the sand]
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[drops his groceries]'' Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the convenience store? You even spilled me milk!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, there ain't no use crying over it. ''[Lightning bolts shoot everywhere]'' Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!}}
Twitch: That's right, peenwill save. Island. Although we sometimes refer to it as an island.
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?}}
SpongeBob: We were just in Goo Lagoon selling krabby patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...}}
 
  +
{{L|''[JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums]''}}
Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[sarcastic]'' Oh, wonderful.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.}}
Eddy: And waves.
 
  +
{{L|JKL|''[plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again]'' Just... keep breathing. ''[returns to his hut]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|That's it?! I just wanna go home! ''[buries his head in his lap]''}}
Twitch: Mysterious waves.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob. ''[SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns]'' Well, did you talk to him?}}
(The fish put their hands together, close their eyes and hum]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Yup.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|And?}}
Twitch: Humm!
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|We're gonna be stuck here forever!}}
Patrick: Humm!
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to Sandy's island]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. ''[climbs into and activates her helicopter]'' Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.}}
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?
 
  +
{{L|Dennis|Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.}}
 
  +
{{L|''[Sandy flies away. The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy]''}}
Twitch: Oh we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddy, Big G, Chip and Silent Stan. And I'm Twitch.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!}}
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, and I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.}}
SpongeBob: Why'd they call you Twitch?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|No, I... ''[Dutchman grabs Cashy]'' Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on Squidward]''}}
[Twitch's neck twitches]
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|''[tired from staring all night]'' Okay...}}
Twitch: What?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.}}
SpongeBob: Never mind.
 
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out]''}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers. ''[A storm of lightning starts. JKL runs away]''}}
[Cut to the fishes house]
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Where's he going?! Come on! ''[chases after JKL. Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[gets shocked by lightning]'' ''[screams]'' Ahhhhhhhhhhh!}}
SpongeBob: So what did you say this house was made of again?
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[Squidward climbs the cliff. SpongeBob and Patrick climb the pyramid. Squidward follows]''}}
Twitch: Guano.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|JKL! Is this the next part of our training?}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|''[hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice]'' Uh...}}
Squidward: Great.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward|''[screaming in some way]''}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|These clouds. They can only mean one thing.}}
SpongeBob: Well it's been fun hanging out with you guys but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off, so we've gotta head back to Goo Lagoon.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Increased chance of precipitation? ''[it starts raining]''}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.}}
Twitch: Oh, you're miles from that tourist trap now, dude.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|A perfect wave?}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.}}
Eddy: Yeah, the only way back is to surf there.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Hey, that's what they used to call me!}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. You'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. ''[Huge lightning bolts flash]'' The Big One is almost upon us.}}
SpongeBob: Only way back... surfing? Bikini Bottom? Aaaah! I don't know how to surf!
 
  +
{{L|''[The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!}}
Eddy: Whoa chill out, little dude, we can teach you.
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Ya promise?}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.}}
SpongeBob: Cool.
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[angry]'' Liar! ''[Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What?}}
[cut to beach]
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|How do you know?}}
Narrator: Aah, learning how to surf. Does some come easy as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day. Others, well and that is like eating an ice cream cone on a cold day.
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Because I dated her in high school!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Gasp!]'' No! ''[Dutchman takes Cashy]''}}
[SpongeBob and Patrick eat the surfboards]
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|Whoops! ''[accidentally throws Cashy]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! ''[Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield]'' May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down! Repeat: Down!}}
Narrator: Sometimes in surfing it's the approach that's most important. And sometimes it's the retreat.
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- ''[Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head]'' -Ooh ow, ooh ow! Ooh!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Uh... where is that, exactly? ''[Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater]''}}
[SpongeBob and Patrick throw the surfboards to a big wave. The wave hits them right back at them]
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|''[spinning out of control]'' May Day!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[pops up from underwater]'' Oh, all alone again. ''[Cashy pops up from the water]'' Cashy!}}
Narrator: Once in a life time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big. Not too small. And the surfer has to act fast or he's bound to miss the ride of his life.
 
  +
{{L|Flying Dutchman|''[lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face]'' Oh, what the... a tube sock? But that means...}}
 
  +
{{L|Davy Jones|Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ♪For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen!♪ ''[throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman. That same song plays. The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove]''}}
Twitch: Go!
 
  +
{{L|JKL|Get ready, dudes. It's coming.}}
 
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, wanna see something cool?
+
{{L|SpongeBob|JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.}}
  +
{{L|JKL|Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Here it comes!}}
Patrick: You bet.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|Wait. There's something I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. And one of you... will not return.}}
SpongeBob: Down here. [sinks to the sea bed with Patrick and holds a photo of Squidward] See, it's a picture of Squidward.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I volunteer SpongeBob.}}
 
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward surf toward the Big One]''}}
Patrick: Wow!
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Keep paddling, Patrick!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!}}
Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|It's... the Big One!}}
 
  +
{{L|Big One|Ha ha ha ha ha! ''[grabs Patrick's surfboard]''}}
[SpongeBob and Patrick circle around their surfboards]
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|No!}}
 
  +
{{L|Big One|''[puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it]'' Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!}}
[cut to the fishes house]
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Hey, I was gonna eat that!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Patrick, grab on!}}
Twitch: Well, dudes. I give up.
 
  +
{{L|Big One|''[stares at Squidward]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[panics]'' Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ''[jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard]''}}
Eddy: What?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Hang on, Squidward! This is it!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Time for those lessons to pay off!}}
Twitch: These hol dads are impossible to teach. [twitches] Especially the one on the end over there [points at Squidward]
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?}}
Big G: Cough, cough.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Who said that? ''[gets buried by the Big One]''}}
Eddy: What's that?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Mr. Krabs! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|''[on his huge surfboard]'' Looking for this?}}
Big G: Cough, cough, cough, COUGH.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|JKL! And Mr. Krabs!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|And Cashy! ''[jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy]'' Cashy!}}
Eddy: Oh no, there's no way, dude, he'd never do it.
 
  +
{{L|''[JKL dives off his surfboard]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|JKL!}}
Big G: Cough, cough.
 
  +
{{L|''[Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows]''}}
 
SpongeBob: What's he saying?
+
{{L|SpongeBob|No!}}
  +
{{L|JKL|Little dude... I was born to do this. ''[winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Big One|''[burps]''}}
Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you, if you can find him.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Now what are we gonna do?}}
SpongeBob: Who?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveals a picture of JKL's face. The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and Shubie are lying on beach towels]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Nat|You hear a noise?}}
Twitch: His name [twitches] is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or J.K.L for short.
 
  +
{{L|''[Sandy crashes down in her helicopter]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Lifeguard|Everybody, look! A You-foe! ''[meaning UFO]''}}
Fishes: Amen.
 
  +
{{L|Jimmy-Gus|A spaceman!}}
 
  +
{{L|Harold\Bill|''[holding a pitchfork]'' Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!}}
Twitch: We say that legend says if J.K.L was last seen up river at the Kahamahoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|''[slaps the pitchfork]'' I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.}}
 
  +
{{L|Beach goers|''[act bored]''}}
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.}}
 
  +
{{L|Gus|Who?}}
[Cut to the river]
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|My friends. They went surfing and never returned.}}
 
  +
{{L|Gus|Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?}}
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.
 
  +
{{L|Sandy|You some kinda mind-reader?}}
 
  +
{{L|Gus|No. ''[points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs]''}}
Twitch [twitches] No problem, and just keep following the river straight up, till you hit Kahamahoku Cove. You can't miss it.
 
  +
{{L|People|Welcome home! ''[cheering]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey, Twitch!}}
SpongeBob: How far upstream did you say it was?
 
  +
{{L|Twitch|''[twitches]'' Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!}}
 
  +
{{L|Big G|''[coughs. Then, music starts]''}}
Twitch: Well we don't know, cause we've never, ever been there.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I love this song!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[laughs]''}}
Eddy: We're defintely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot on it if you paid us.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Look!}}
 
  +
{{L|''[JKL surfs in on a giant wave]''}}
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that in anyway you want.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|JKL!}}
 
  +
{{L|JKL|Just keep breathing. ''[holds up Cashy]''}}
[Cut to Sandy's island where there is a storm. Sandy awakes from her sleep]
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Cashy!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Turn it up, Chip! ''[Chip plays his saxophone harder. The episode ends with everyone dancing at the beach.]''}}
Sandy: Oh, where am I? [gets up as the clouds clear away] Where is everybody? [runs to the coast] I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?
 
 
[cut to the surfboard island]
 
 
Singer: I'll make a beeline for the treeline,
 
Getting back to nature always does me good.
 
I'll make a beeline for the treeline,
 
I just can't wait to get back in the world.
 
And if I wanna close my eyes and dream,
 
Beside a quite mountain or stream,
 
That's when I make the beeline for the treeline.
 
 
[SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward fall down a waterfall]
 
 
Singer: That's when I make the beeline for the treeline.
 
 
SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.
 
 
Squidward: Again?
 
 
[SpongeBob walks through the nearby hedge and faces a sign saying 'Kahamahoku Cove'
 
 
SpongeBob: Welcome to Kahamahoku Cove! J.K.L! [goes to tell others] Guys, guys. I found the cove.
 
 
[cut to Squidward and Patrick through the hedge and walking with SpongeBob]
 
 
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here! If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop outs.
 
 
SpongeBob: Oh don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here,
 
 
Squidward: You've never even seen him.
 
 
SpongeBob: You have got to stop judging people by the way they look [makes a donkey noise and face]
 
 
Squidward: You're right.
 
 
Patrick: Look!
 
 
SpongeBob: It's him!
 
 
[Everyone looks to J.K.L's house. J.K.L comes out with a very long surfboard stretching across the sea]
 
 
Squidward: Oh my...jaa. [faints]
 
 
SpongeBob: It's J.K.L!
 
 
[SpongeBob and Patrick run over to J.K.L's house]
 
 
SpongeBob: Hell, oh great swanny of the gnarly pounders. We seek audience with thee.
 
 
Patrick: Plus we wanna talk to you.
 
 
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, oh great one, so we may get back home?
 
 
[J.K.L doesn't do anything]
 
 
Squidward: Look, surfboy! Are you gonna teach us how to surf or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?
 
 
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.
 
 
{J.K.L jumps into the sea and surfs for two and a half hours with the dolphins on a big wave]
 
 
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you Patrick?
 
 
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple layered cheese cake.
 
 
[J.K.L stops surfing and walks up to SpongeBob]
 
 
J.K.L: That was your first lesson. [goes back into his house]
 
 
Squidward: What, you call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!
 
 
[Suddenly he sees J.K.L in the sea playing his drums. He turns to look at him.
 
 
J.K.L. Ah, just keep breathing [turns around again]
 
 
[cut to Mr. Krabs in the Dutchman's triangle with cashie]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Oh locust. Go, larry! [picks up a clam and breaks it in two] Oh. [puts them on Cashie] Look, Cashie. Earrings. Well, Cashie, I guess the devil's gully isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn't appear and stick us in Davy Jones's Locker. [laughs] But that won't happen, will it, Cashie?
 
 
[Cashie replies by sending her drawer out. It hits the Flying Dutchman who is carrying a bag of groceries]
 
 
Dutchman: Ow!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Aaaah! It's the Flying Dutchman!
 
 
Dutchman: Aaaah! It's some guy I've never seen before! [drops groceries and spills milk] Argh! Who'd be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the convenience store? You've even spilt me milk!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying about it.
 
 
[Flying Dutchman angers with rage and thunder and lightning strike the area]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Aah! Don't worry, Cashie. I'll protect ye!
 
 
[Cut to surfboard island. SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are sitting around a fire]
 
 
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf groob you've ever seen, Squidward?
 
 
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get outta here at some point, and if his way of teaching us is...
 
 
[J.K.L appears with his drums and sits next to SpongeBob]
 
 
Squidward: Oh great.
 
 
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward. I think we're about to receive another lesson.
 
 
[J.K.L plays his drums skillfully in the fire for a long time. Stops and puts his hands up to the sky and then makes one last solo. Then he stops]
 
 
J.K.L: Just keep breathing. [Goes back to his house]
 
 
Squidward: That's it? I just wanna go home! [cries]
 
 
SpongeBob: Will it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?
 
 
Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob.
 
 
[SpongeBob goes and talks to J.K.L. Then he comes back]
 
 
Squidward: Well did you talk to him?
 
 
SpongeBob: Yep.
 
 
Squidward: And?
 
 
SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night and the secrets will be revealed.
 
 
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!
 
 
[Cut to Sandy's island where Sandy throws in some wood to make a fire]
 
 
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived but thrived. You built a 5 star hotel, a steam powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even an expresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave, but I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back!
 
 
[Sandy goes to her helicopter and starts the engine]
 
 
Sandy: Acorn one to tower. Request clearance.
 
 
Roger: Roger acorn one, you are clear for take off.
 
 
[The helicopter takes off and flies into the Dutchman's triangle where the Flying Dutchman is angry with Mr. Krabs for hitting him on the head and making him drop his groceries.]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Oh please. Mr Dutchman. I didn't mean to spill your groceries.
 
 
Dutchman: Well normally I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month so I have no way to pay for more unless you have some money I can borrow.
 
 
Mr. Krabs: No, I...
 
 
[Dutchman takes Cashie]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Cashie! Please, Cashie is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!
 
 
[Thunder and lightning hit the area]
 
 
[Cut to surfboard island where Squidward has woken up from his sleep]
 
 
Squidward: Oh.
 
 
[Walks to SpongeBob and Patrick near the fire]
 
 
Squidward: Please tell me you two didn't stare at that fire all night.
 
 
SpongeBob and Patrick: Okay.
 
 
Squidward: All right I'm done! [Angriy goes to J.K.L's house] Hey, blondie! Teach me how to surf so I can go home or I'm gonna...
 
 
J.K.L: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there. Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers. [Thunder and lightning hit the area and J.K.L walks towards his pyramid]
 
 
SpongeBob: Where's he going? Come on!
 
 
[SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward follow him]
 
 
SpongeBob: Aaaah!
 
 
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!
 
 
[They follow on]
 
 
SpongeBob: J.K.L, is this the next part of our training?
 
 
J.K.L: Ah. These clouds. They can only mean one thing.
 
 
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation?
 
 
J.K.L: Yes. Every thousand years or so the planets align in such a way, that a perfect wave is formed.
 
 
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?
 
 
J.K.L: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome perfect wave. They call it the Big One.
 
 
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me.
 
 
J.K.L: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way to Bikini Bottom. You'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here forever. [Thunder and lightning] The Big One is almost upon us.
 
 
[Cut to Mr. Krabs and Dutchman in his triangle]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Please, please, Mr Dutchman, let Cashie go. I promise I'll never soil ye waters again.
 
 
Dutchman: You promise?
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Oh yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.
 
 
Dutchman: Quiet! [Thunder and lightning] Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?
 
 
Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: [gasp] No!
 
 
[Dutchman grabs Cashie and throws her towards Sandy's helicopter]
 
 
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous. I'd better be careful [Cashie hits windscreen] Mayday, Mayday! I'm going down. Repeat down!
 
 
Dutchman: And now just to make sure that this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a journey to the... ow!
 
 
[helicopter hits Dutchman's head]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Uh, where is that exactly?
 
 
[Dutchman falls into the sea with Mr. Krabs and sinks to the bottom]
 
 
Sandy: MAYDAY!
 
 
[Krabs comes back up coughing]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Ah all alone again.
 
 
[Cashie comes up]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Cashie!
 
 
[At the bottom of the sea, the Dutchman wakes up]
 
 
Dutchman: A goop sock? But that means...
 
 
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right baby. Welcome to my locker. [laughs] For a daydream believer and a homecoming queen [laughs
 
 
[Davy throws socks at Dutchman and he screams]
 
 
Singer: Cheer up sleepy jean...
 
 
[Cut to surfboard island. SpongeBob and Patrick and Squidward are waiting. J.K.L looks at the big wave]
 
 
J.K.L: Get ready, dudes, it's coming.
 
 
SpongeBob: J.K.L, thanks for teaching us how to surf.
 
 
J.K.L: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.
 
 
Squidward: Here it comes!
 
 
SpongeBob: Well, J.K.L, I guess this is goodbye.
 
 
J.K.L: Wait, there's something I forget to tell you. In return for it's awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice so one of you will not return.
 
 
Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.
 
 
[SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward start paddling towards the wave]
 
 
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick!
 
 
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!
 
 
SpongeBob: It's the Big One!
 
 
[The big wave laughs evily and takes Patrick's surfboard]
 
 
Patrick: No!
 
 
[The wave eats the surfboard and laughs again]
 
 
Patrick: Hey I was gonna eat that!
 
 
SpongeBob: Patrick! Grab on!
 
 
Squidward: Aaah! [Jumps to SpongeBob's surfboard]
 
 
SpongeBob: Hang on Squidward! This is it!
 
 
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!
 
 
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't you, Cashie?
 
 
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Who said that? [wave goes over him]
 
 
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! [cries] I never even gotta chance to tell him that I...
 
 
{J.K.L suddenly appears]
 
 
J.K.L: Looking for this?
 
 
SpongeBob: J.K.L and Mr. Krabs!
 
 
Mr. Krabs: And Cashie!
 
 
[J.K.L puts Mr. Krabs down on the surfboard. Cashie slips out of Krabs's hand and sucks into the big wave]
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Cashie!
 
 
[J.K.L goes after Cashie]
 
 
SpongeBob: J.K.L! No!
 
 
J.K.L: Little dude, I was born to do this [winks and is swallowed up. The Big One burps loudly]
 
 
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high protein meal.
 
 
Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?
 
 
[SpongeBob copies J.K.L's idea of playing the drums as the wave rides them back. J.K.L appears in the sky later on]
 
 
[Cut to Goo Lagoon in the morning]
 
 
Fish #3: You hear a noise?
 
 
[Sandy's helicopter crashes into the sand]
 
 
Guard: Everybody look! A UFO!
 
 
Fish #4: A spaceman!
 
 
Harold: Don't make any funny moves, Spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!
 
 
[Sandy is surprised]
 
 
Sandy: I'm not a spaceman, you dunder head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend!
 
 
[fish are surprised and walk away]
 
 
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.
 
 
Fish #5: Who?
 
 
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.
 
 
Fish #5: Is one of them like a little square dude with big teeth?
 
 
Sandy: Are you some kind of mind reader?
 
 
Fish #5: No! [Points to the gang]
 
 
Everybody: Welcome home! [cheers]
 
 
[SpongeBob walks up to the 'dirty drop outs'
 
 
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!
 
 
[Twitch twitches]
 
 
Twitch: Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!
 
 
Big G: Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.
 
 
[They start playing a song but the noise is backed off by J.K.L]
 
 
Squidward: Look!
 
 
[J.K.L arrives on the beach. Everybody cheers. J.K.L gives Cashie to Mr. Krabs]
 
 
J.K.L: Just keep breathing.
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Cashie!
 
 
[The gang play the song again with J.K.L dancing in it]
 
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
 
[[Category:2009 transcripts]]
 

Revision as of 05:21, 10 January 2020

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One" from season 6, which aired on April 17, 2009.

  • [episode starts with SpongeBob sweating and his foot makes a slurping sound]
  • Squidward: [sweating] If it gets any hotter in here, we're gonna have to put fried calamari on the menu.
  • SpongeBob: It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working. [The fan stops]
  • Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs. The f-f...
  • Mr. Krabs: Good word, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that.
  • SpongeBob: The fan... it...
  • Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad. You're not going Section 8 on me, are ya?
  • SpongeBob: I was wearing shoes. They... It's so hot, they melted off.
  • Mr. Krabs: Melted off?
  • Squidward: The fan stopped working.
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't... forget... to pay the power bill again, did you?
  • Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Here. Just fan yourself with some of this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box. [gives SpongeBob the "junk mail," which says: Power Bill Final Notice]
  • SpongeBob: [fans himself]
  • Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?
  • Squidward: Probably out enjoying this beautiful day where it was meant to be enjoyed.
  • Mr. Krabs: Could you be a little more specific?
  • Squidward: They're at the beach.
  • Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell ya! Close up shop. We're going to the beach today!
  • [SpongeBob rips off his squarepants revealing a blue swimsuit, innertube, waterwings and snorkel. The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there!
  • Nat: Whoa!
  • Mr. Krabs: My name is Eugene Krabs and I would like to know if I could interest either one of you in a fresh, delicious...
  • SpongeBob: [picks up a Krabby Patty with his spatula]
  • Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patty, fresh off the grill!
  • Frank: Are they free?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes! Today, they're only three dollars! Each.
  • Frank: Sounds great. But I left my wallet up on the sand.
  • Squidward: I told you!
  • Sandy: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
  • SpongeBob: What?
  • Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
  • Frank: [shrugs]
  • Sandy: -eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! I love the beach!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, that noise was Sandy.
  • Sandy: Y'all be careful! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!
  • Squidward: Who are you?
  • Mr. Krabs: Either you buy a patty, or get off me wave!
  • Sandy: Cowabunga!
  • Squidward: What next?
  • Patrick: [pops up from underwater]
  • SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over seventeen working days?
  • Patrick: I'd love to!
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward, show him the menu.
  • Squidward: [holds up the menu]
  • Patrick: Uh, I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board.
  • SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha! That's a good one Patrick: on-board! Whoa!
  • [Patrick is trying to climb onto the surfboard]
  • Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!
  • Patrick: Almost up! [shaking the board all over the place]
  • Squidward: You idiot!
  • Patrick: [waving arms uncontrollably. This moves the surfboard] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eeeeeeee!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Look out!
  • Sandy: [riding a wave] Locals only!
  • Patrick: What'd she say?
  • [all crash]
  • Mr. Krabs: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! [hugs his cash register] Aaaaahhhhhh!
  • SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [hug Squidward] Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  • Sandy: Wipeouuuuuuuuuuuuuut! [lands on an island]
  • Mr. Krabs: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! [lands in the middle of the ocean] Wha? Where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm. [Dark clouds fill the sky] Black sky. [Blood shoots out of the water] Water spouts.... of blood. [Three donuts fall from the sky. Krabs takes a bite of one] Jelly donuts falling from the sky. What could this mean? There's only one logical answer. I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle. Right above Davy Jones' Locker. In the Devil's Galley. [another donut falls from the sky. The scene cuts to an island. Not the one Sandy landed on, but an island]
  • Awesome Eddie: Guys, look!
  • SpongeBob: [uses seaweed to draw in the sand]
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?
  • SpongeBob: Just dragging it around.
  • Twitch: Hey there, home-dads.
  • SpongeBob: Huh?
  • Twitch: Welcome to our remote island.
  • SpongeBob: Island?
  • Squidward: Island?
  • [Patrick is snoring]
  • Twitch: That's right, kemo sabe. Island. Although, we sometimes refer to it as an... island.
  • SpongeBob: We were just at Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties when this big wave hit us. Now we're on an island?
  • Twitch: The ocean works in mysterious ways.
  • Awesome Eddie: And waves.
  • Twitch: Mysterious waves.
  • Island wanderers: [fold hands] Om. [except for Silent Stan but he does put his hands together]
  • Patrick: [folds hands] Om.
  • SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?
  • Twitch: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie, Big G...
  • Chip: Hi.
  • Twitch: Chip, and Silent Stan.
  • [Silent Stan makes a "Shocka!" sign since he can't talk]
  • Twitch: And I'm Twitch.
  • SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?
  • Twitch: [twitches] What?
  • SpongeBob: Never mind.
  • [The scene cuts to either later that day or a few days later]
  • SpongeBob: So what did you say this house is made from again?
  • Twitch: Guano.
  • Squidward: Great.
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off. So we gotta get back to Goo Lagoon.
  • Twitch: Yo, you're miles from the tourist track now, dude.
  • Awesome Eddie: Yeah. The only way back is to surf there.
  • SpongeBob: [scared] O-only way.... back... surfing.... Bikini Bottom? [screams] Aaaaahhhhhh! [starts running in circles around the fire] I don't know how to surf! [starts crying]
  • Awesome Eddie: Whoa, chill out, little dude. We can teach you.
  • SpongeBob: [stops running and crying] Cool!
  • [The scene cuts to a scene where Twitch is teaching SpongeBob and Patrick to surf. A narrator speaks]
  • Narrator: Ah, learning how to surf. To some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day.
  • [Twitch gives SpongeBob and Patrick each a surfboard]
  • Narrator: Others...
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards]
  • Narrator: ... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone... on a cold day. Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [throw their boards into the water]
  • Narrator: And sometimes, it's the retreat.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboards get hit by a wave and are knocked back to shore. Everyone runs away from the flying surfboards, screaming.. SpongeBob, Patrick and Twitch are sitting on surfboards]
  • Narrator: Once in a life-time, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small, and the surfer has to act fast...
  • Twitch: Go!
  • Narrator: ... or he stands to miss the ride of his life.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?
  • Patrick: You bet!
  • SpongeBob: Down here! [goes underwater with Patrick] See? It's a picture of Squidward!
  • Patrick: Wow.
  • Narrator: But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [running around while yelling, "Loo, loo, loo!" over and over again.. The scene cuts back to the house made of guano]
  • Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up.
  • Awesome Eddie: What?
  • Twitch: These ho-dads are impossible to teach. [twitches] Especially the one on the end over there. [points to Squidward, whose head is wet and has seaweed on it. Big G coughs]
  • Awesome Eddie: What's that?
  • [Big G coughs again]
  • Awesome Eddie: Oh, no. There's no way, dude. He'd never do it.
  • [Big G coughs again]
  • SpongeBob: What's he saying?
  • Twitch: He reminded us that there is one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.
  • SpongeBob: Who?
  • Twitch: His name [twitches] is Jack Kahuna Laguna. Or JKL, for short.
  • Awesome Eddie and Chip: Amen. [Big G coughs]
  • Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up-river at the Kahmamoku Cove, where every wave is perfect.
  • Patrick: Will there be nachos there? [Squidward looks angrily at him. The scene cuts to the river that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are about to go into]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.
  • Twitch: [twitches] No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. Can't miss it.
  • SpongeBob: How far up stream did you say it was?
  • Twitch: Well, we don't know cause we've never ever been there.
  • Awesome Eddie: We're definitely afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.
  • Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.
  • [On the TV version, commercials are shown. When they end, Sandy is shown lying on a beach]
  • Sandy: Oh, where am I? Where is everybody? I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?!
  • [As a song plays, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward paddle themselves slowly up-river. Eventually, they come across a waterfall. Patrick takes a picture of it and SpongeBob stares at it, admiringly. Squidward sits, bored. Then, they go down a waterfall. They scream and land. At the bottom SpongeBob and Patrick laugh while Squidward sits, bored]
  • ♪I'll make a beeline for the treeline. Getting back to nature always does me good. I'll make a beeline for the treeline, I just can't wait to get back in the woods. And if I need to close my eyes and dream, Of some quite mountain or stream, That's when I make the beeline for the treeline.♪
  • SpongeBob: Could you pull over here? I gotta tie my shoe.
  • Squidward: Again?!
  • SpongeBob: [walks through a bush and comes across a sign that says, Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of J.K.L., ESO] Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove! JKL! Guys! Guys! I found the Cove! [giggles]
  • Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here. If he's anything like that last group of dirty drop-outs.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward. He'll be here.
  • Squidward: You've never even seen him!
  • SpongeBob: You've got to stop judging people by the way they look. [close-up on his face. He is very ugly]
  • Squidward: [grossed out] You're right.
  • Patrick: [pointing to a hut] Look!
  • [a really long surfboard begins to emerge from the hut]
  • SpongeBob: It's him!
  • Squidward: [sighs. The surfboard continues to come out. It is revealed to be huge] Oh, my- [faints. A man emerges from the hut]
  • SpongeBob: It's JKL! [Gulps] Hail O great swami of the Gnarly Pounders! We seek audience with thee.
  • Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.
  • SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, O great one, so we may get back home? [JKL says nothing]
  • Patrick: Uh...
  • Squidward: Look, surf-boy, are you gonna teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?
  • Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.
  • [Jack Kahuna Laguna jumps into the water with his surfboard. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward stare at him. Dolphins jump near the back of JKL's surfboard. SpongeBob and Patrick start to tear up]
  • SpongeBob: I've never seen anything more beautiful. Have you, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheese cake.
  • JKL: That... was your first lesson. [returns to his hut]
  • Squidward: What? You call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!
  • JKL: [magically returnes to the water. we then see him playing his drums] Just keep breathing.
  • [The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs sitting on half a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. He has put a piece of seaweed on the top of his cash register. He has also grown a gray beard] [makes gibberish noises]
  • Mr. Krabs: [pulls a shell out of the water] Look, Cashy! [breaks the shell in half and connects them to the sides of the seaweed] Earrings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad. As long as that Flying Dutchman doesn’t appear and stick us in Davy Jones' Locker! But that won't happen, will it Cashy? [Cashy's drawer shoots out and hits the Flying Dutchman in the head who's flying by]
  • Flying Dutchman: Ow!
  • Mr. Krabs: Arrrgh! It's the Flying Dutchman!
  • Flying Dutchman: [drops his groceries] Aaahhh! It's some guy I've never seen before! Argh! Who be disturbing the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the convenience store? You even spilled me milk!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use crying over it. [Lightning bolts shoot everywhere] Yah! Don't worry, Cashy! I’ll protect ye!
  • [The scene cuts to the island where SpongeBob and his friends are. They are sitting around a fire]
  • SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru you've ever met, Squidward?
  • Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point, and if his idea of teaching us is...
  • [JKL walks by the fire and sits down with his drums]
  • Squidward: [sarcastic] Oh, wonderful.
  • SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to receive another lesson.
  • JKL: [plays his drums. Eventually, he stops, lifts his hands to the air, then plays the drums again] Just... keep breathing. [returns to his hut]
  • Squidward: That's it?! I just wanna go home! [buries his head in his lap]
  • SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?
  • Squidward: Oh, thank you. Thank you, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob walks away, then immediately returns] Well, did you talk to him?
  • SpongeBob: Yup.
  • Squidward: And?
  • SpongeBob: He said we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.
  • Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!
  • [The scene cuts to Sandy's island]
  • Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources found on this deserted island, you have not only survived, but thrived. You've built a five star hotel, a steam-powered generator, a car that runs on coconut milk, and even a espresso bar. I almost don't wanna leave. But I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back. [climbs into and activates her helicopter] Acorn 1 to Tower. Request clearance.
  • Dennis: Roger, Acorn 1. You are clear for take-off.
  • [Sandy flies away. The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, the Flying Dutchman, and Cashy]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!
  • Flying Dutchman: Well, normally, I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month, and I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.
  • Mr. Krabs: No, I... [Dutchman grabs Cashy] Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!
  • [The scene cuts to one of the islands. A wave washes up on Squidward]
  • Squidward: Oh, oh. Please tell me you two didn't stare into that fire all night.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: [tired from staring all night] Okay...
  • Squidward: All right, I'm done! Hey, blondey! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...
  • JKL: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick are knocked out]
  • JKL: Those dudes are gonna make awesome surfers. [A storm of lightning starts. JKL runs away]
  • SpongeBob: Where's he going?! Come on! [chases after JKL. Patrick and Squidward follow SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick are running, but Squidward is walking. SpongeBob and Patrick climb up a cliff]
  • SpongeBob: [gets shocked by lightning] [screams] Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
  • Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big... drinking fountain!
  • [Squidward climbs the cliff. SpongeBob and Patrick climb the pyramid. Squidward follows]
  • SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?
  • JKL: [hands in the air. He says this in a strange, echoing voice] Uh...
  • SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: [screaming in some way]
  • JKL: These clouds. They can only mean one thing.
  • Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation? [it starts raining]
  • JKL: Yes. Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that a perfect wave is formed.
  • SpongeBob: A perfect wave?
  • JKL: The world's biggest, fastest, longest, gnarliest, most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it.... the Big One.
  • Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!
  • JKL: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way back to Bikini Bottom. You'll have to catch it, or you'll be stuck here... forever. [Huge lightning bolts flash] The Big One is almost upon us.
  • [The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman fighting over Cashy]
  • Mr. Krabs: Please! Please, Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!
  • Flying Dutchman: Ya promise?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes. I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.
  • Flying Dutchman: [angry] Liar! [Huge lightning bolts flash. Storm clouds hover and waves emerge from the water]
  • Mr. Krabs: What?
  • Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth!
  • Mr. Krabs: How do you know?
  • Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!
  • Mr. Krabs: [Gasp!] No! [Dutchman takes Cashy]
  • Flying Dutchman: Whoops! [accidentally throws Cashy]
  • Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I better be careful! [Cashy hits the helicopter's windshield] May Day! May Day! I'm goin' down! Repeat: Down!
  • Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this never happens again, I'm gonna send you on a little trip down the- [Sandy's helicopter hits him in the head] -Ooh ow, ooh ow! Ooh!
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh... where is that, exactly? [Dutchman lands on him. They both go underwater]
  • Sandy: [spinning out of control] May Day!
  • Mr. Krabs: [pops up from underwater] Oh, all alone again. [Cashy pops up from the water] Cashy!
  • Flying Dutchman: [lands at the bottom of the ocean. A sock lands on his face] Oh, what the... a tube sock? But that means...
  • Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ♪For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen!♪ [throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman. That same song plays. The scene cuts to Kahmamoku Cove]
  • JKL: Get ready, dudes. It's coming.
  • SpongeBob: JKL, thanks for teaching us how to surf.
  • JKL: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.
  • Squidward: Here it comes!
  • SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is good-bye.
  • JKL: Wait. There's something I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. And one of you... will not return.
  • Squidward: I volunteer SpongeBob.
  • [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward surf toward the Big One]
  • SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick!
  • Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!
  • SpongeBob: It's... the Big One!
  • Big One: Ha ha ha ha ha! [grabs Patrick's surfboard]
  • Patrick: No!
  • Big One: [puts salt on the surfboard and takes a bite of it] Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!
  • Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!
  • Big One: [stares at Squidward]
  • Squidward: [panics] Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [jumps on SpongeBob and Patrick's surfboard]
  • SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward! This is it!
  • Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!
  • Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!
  • Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't ya, Cashy?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! Hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!
  • Mr. Krabs: Who said that? [gets buried by the Big One]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! I never even got a chance to tell him that I...
  • JKL: [on his huge surfboard] Looking for this?
  • SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: And Cashy! [jumps on the other surfboard. Then, he drops Cashy] Cashy!
  • [JKL dives off his surfboard]
  • SpongeBob: JKL!
  • [Cashy lands in the Big One's mouth. JKL follows]
  • SpongeBob: No!
  • JKL: Little dude... I was born to do this. [winks, waves good-bye, and is swallowed]
  • Big One: [burps]
  • Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein meal.
  • Patrick: Now what are we gonna do?
  • SpongeBob: [plays JKL's drums. The storm clouds clear away and reveals a picture of JKL's face. The scene cuts to Goo Lagoon, where Nat and Shubie are lying on beach towels]
  • Nat: You hear a noise?
  • [Sandy crashes down in her helicopter]
  • Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A You-foe! [meaning UFO]
  • Jimmy-Gus: A spaceman!
  • Harold\Bill: [holding a pitchfork] Don't make any funny moves, spaceman! You're not conquering our world without a fight!
  • Sandy: [slaps the pitchfork] I'm not a spaceman, you dunder-head! It's me, Sandy! SpongeBob's friend.
  • Beach goers: [act bored]
  • Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.
  • Gus: Who?
  • Sandy: My friends. They went surfing and never returned.
  • Gus: Is one of them, like, a little square dude with big teeth?
  • Sandy: You some kinda mind-reader?
  • Gus: No. [points at SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs]
  • People: Welcome home! [cheering]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!
  • Twitch: [twitches] Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!
  • Big G: [coughs. Then, music starts]
  • Patrick: I love this song!
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs]
  • Squidward: Look!
  • [JKL surfs in on a giant wave]
  • SpongeBob: JKL!
  • JKL: Just keep breathing. [holds up Cashy]
  • Mr. Krabs: Cashy!
  • SpongeBob: Turn it up, Chip! [Chip plays his saxophone harder. The episode ends with everyone dancing at the beach.]