Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Transcript



Whelk Attack 094
"Spon... Spo... Spo...!"

This SpongeBob SquarePants episode transcript is incomplete. You can help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by adding new content to the page.

This article is the transcript for cutscenes of the video game, SpongeBob's Boating Bash, which was released on March 2, 2010.

The Last Test Of The Year[]

  • French Narrator: Ah, mes amis, we meet again in the sleepy town of Bikini Bottom. It is a most important day for SpongeBob. Not only is it the day of his boating school exam, it is also the last test of the year. Should he fail, SpongeBob will face another whole year of boating school.
  • [Cut to the front of the school.]
  • SpongeBob: ...and the turn signal.
  • Mrs. Puff: Very good, SpongeBob! You passed the oral exam!
  • SpongeBob: Of course!
  • Mrs. Puff: Yes, and if we can only get you to put your knowledge to practical use, you might just pass this test.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, no... That's where I always have trouble!
  • Mrs. Puff: This time, SpongeBob, we're going to go through it slowly. Together. To calm your nerves. And then, you can try it on your own. How does that sound?
  • SpongeBob: As long as these pants are square, and this sponge is Bob, I won't let you down!
  • Mrs. Puff: We'll just see about that.

SpongeBob Fails His Test[]

  • Mrs. Puff: Well, SpongeBob, I am so... pleased! [laughs] You did that very well! Now, it's time for you to do it all by yourself.
  • SpongeBob: By... myself?
  • Mrs. Puff: Well, yes. You need to be able to drive the course by yourself in order to get your license.
  • SpongeBob: I don't know! Do you think I'll do okay, Mrs. Puff?
  • Mrs. Puff: I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just... [gulps nervously] fine. Okay. So, what's the first thing you do?
  • SpongeBob: I... I... [stutters] floor it?
  • Mrs. Puff: Floor it. No! No, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob accelerates very fast] Don't floor it! Don't floor it! [SpongeBob crashes into the lighthouse yet again, which falls over] Why, SpongeBob? Why?
  • SpongeBob: So, did I pass this time, Mrs. Puff?
  • Mrs. Puff: No, SpongeBob. Not this time.

Introducing Seymour Scales[]

  • [SpongeBob is seen sitting outside of the school, upset that he, once again, failed his test. A bus pulls up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School, and out comes Seymour, who walks up to SpongeBob.]
  • Seymour: What seems to be the problem, son?
  • SpongeBob: I failed my driving test... again.
  • Seymour: Well, you shouldn't let that get you down. You can always take it again.
  • SpongeBob: [jumps up] It was my seventy-eighth time!
  • Seymour: Oh, my... Well, I'm sure they'll have another test you can take, soon.
  • SpongeBob: It was the last one of the year!
  • Seymour: Ah, I see.
  • SpongeBob: I'd do anything to get my license!
  • Seymour: Well, you're in luck, son!
  • SpongeBob: How am I in luck?
  • Seymour: You're lucky that you failed your test right as I was pullin' up to this bus stop!
  • [SpongeBob mumbles.]
  • Seymour: I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to introduce myself. Seymour Scales is the name. [they shake hands] Pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you! And what's your name, son?
  • SpongeBob: SpongeBob.
  • Seymour: Well, hello, SpongeBob! My boy, you're gonna get your license to drive this year or my name isn't Seymour Scales!
  • SpongeBob: I am?
  • Seymour: Yes you are. As fate would have it, I am a certified driving instructor who can teach you to drive with my special patented "Learn To D.R.I.V.E." System!
  • SpongeBob: You can?
  • Seymour: Yes sir! With my "Learn To D.R.I.V.E." System, I can teach anyone to drive in only five short classes!
  • SpongeBob: [his eyes start to sparkle] You can teach me how to drive?
  • Seymour: Absolutely! D.R.I.V.E. is a very simple system that teaches the five key things that every driver should know! Destruction, Recklessness, Impairment, Velocity, and Escape.
  • SpongeBob: Are you saying I should destroy things and drive recklessly?
  • Seymour: Absolutely not! Why, D.R.I.V.E. will teach you what a poor driver is so that you can use that knowledge to help become a better driver! All right then, SpongeBob, are you ready to sign up, young man?
  • SpongeBob: Yes I am!

Ready To Start Your Lessons[]

  • Seymour: Well, SpongeBob, now that you got the basic idea, are you ready to start your lessons?
  • SpongeBob: [jumps out of his seat] Oh, yeah! I'm ready! So ready! I'm ready-ready-eddy!
  • Seymour: Your Destruction lessons will be graded on how many car parts you can collect before the time runs out. Also, knocking into other cars and wrecking stuff on the track will give you a chance to floor it more often.
  • SpongeBob: I can do that!

You're Going To Need A Friend[]

  • Seymour: You did great, son. Now, for the next class, I'm gonna need you to bring a friend to help.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I could see if Patrick wants to help.
  • Seymour: Fantastic. I'll see you and Patrick at your next class.
  • [Bubble transiton to SpongeBob and Patrick walking to Seymour.]
  • Patrick: Is this where I get to wreck SpongeBob's car?
  • Seymour: Well, I was just about to say, it's time for you boys to get reckless!
  • SpongeBob: Wreck less? I thought you wanted me to wreck more! [laughs]
  • Seymour: To be reckless is to be careless, and that's exactly what you're going to do now. For you, Patrick, it'll be an awful lot like bumper cars.
  • Patrick: Yeah, bumper cars! What are bumper cars?
  • Seymour: Ah, nevermind. It's only fifteen clams for you to sign up.
  • Patrick: What do I have to do?
  • Seymour: Just help SpongeBob by smashin' and crashin'. The more he smashes, the more parts I can collect, and the more D.R.I.V.E. points he earns to pay for his lessons. [chuckles] So what do you say?
  • Patrick: Count me in!

More Fun Than Polishing A Tree[]

  • SpongeBob: That was fun, Patrick! And with all of those D.R.I.V.E. points, I'll have my license in no time!
  • Patrick: I know, it's great! [notices Sandy walking towards them] Is that Sandy? We should get her to come drive with us, too!
  • SpongeBob: I dunno. You think they drive like that in Texas?
  • Patrick: Only in Crawford.
  • Sandy: Woo-wee! What's all the noise coming from, you folks?
  • Patrick: We're helping SpongeBob get his license.
  • Sandy: Golly! That's just about the best news I've heard all day!
  • Patrick: Hey, Sandy, do you want to help? It's only fifteen clams to sign up.
  • Sandy: Well, I guess I could give it a try. SpongeBob, prepare for a long... merciless... whooping!
  • Patrick: I'm with the squirrel.

What's With All The Racket?[]

  • [Squidward is seen walking up to Sandy and Patrick.]
  • Sandy: That was more fun than a hoedown throwdown on the second of March!
  • Squidward: A hoedown... How wonderfully pedestrian. So sorry I missed your invitation. Now, what's with all the racket?
  • Sandy: Oh, we were helpin' SpongeBob get his license!
  • Squidward: Helping... SpongeBob... license?! Did I miss something?! Patrick's been living under a rock, not me!
  • Patrick: Come on, Squidward! You have a try!
  • Squidward: While I appreciate the offer, there's nothing I would like less than to help SpongeBob find his way to the open roads!
  • Patrick: You can smaaaaaaaaaash him.
  • Squidward: Where do I sign?

Mr. Krabs Confronts Seymour[]

  • Mr. Krabs: So, you be the bloke I heard about! Trying to fit a square sponge in a round hole?
  • Seymour: Uh, come again, friend?
  • Mr. Krabs: I can see what you're up to! I may have been born at night, Mister, but I wasn't born last night!
  • Seymour: I don't think I fathom, Mister, uh...
  • Mr. Krabs: Krabs. Eugene H. Krabs.
  • Seymour: Ah. [chuckles] The Krusty Krab, I presume? Well, sir, I simply am providing a service to this young man.
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm sure you are. What's in it for me- [clears throat] you?
  • Seymour: I get such satisfaction in teaching. [chuckles] And to, well... I see where you're coming from. Why don't you step into my office and we can work something out?
  • [They both mumble to each other for a while.]
  • Seymour: Okay.
  • Mr. Krabs: Now you're talkin' me language!

Has Everyone Gone Mad?[]

  • Plankton: [looking through his telescope] It's as if everyone in Bikini Bottom has gone mad! What is Krabs' angle here? I must seize this opportunity to get my hands on those Krabby Patties! But how? [zooms into the money Seymour is holding] Oh, I see it. I see it! It's becoming increasingly obvious! [starts laughing evilly. He stops to grab a record player, which plays evil music, then continues laughing]
  • [Bubble transition to Plankton and SpongeBob talking with each other.]
  • Plankton: You know, my little yellow friend, I couldn't help noticin' your lessons goin' on here.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, you did, didja?
  • Plankton: I did. I did. I wonder... How is it that a fry cook can afford such high-end private drivin' lessons? What if I told you that you could get that license of yours for free?
  • SpongeBob: I'd think you were trying to trick me.
  • Plankton: No, I'm just an honest businessman tryin' to make a livin'!
  • SpongeBob: I don't know...
  • Plankton: I tell you what, I'll pay for the remainder of your lessons. All you have to do is just give me one of those scrumptious Krabby Patties.
  • SpongeBob: Now I get it! You're just trying to steal Mr. Krabs' Krabby Patties again!
  • Plankton: No! Not steal, trade!
  • SpongeBob: The answer's still no.
  • Plankton: Well then, you better hold onto your steerin' wheel, because I'm goin' to get a Krabby Patty with or without your help! Mr. Scales, sign this plankton up!

SpongeBob's Almost There[]

  • Seymour: SpongeBob, you're really coming along! Just one more set of lessons, and I'll be on my wa- I mean, you'll be on your way to getting your license.
  • SpongeBob: My license... I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait!
  • Seymour: There's still plenty o' work to do. Your next lessons will be the hardest. The last part of the D.R.I.V.E. system is Escape. You'll need to collect a set number of car parts while avoiding all the other drivers coming after you. You really have to work hard to not get hit.
  • SpongeBob: Hmm... I'll just do the opposite of what I've been doing. Right?
  • Seymour: Right.

SpongeBob Visits His Heroes[]

  • SpongeBob: You know what would make this easier, Boy Patrick?
  • Patrick: What is it, Man Sponge?
  • SpongeBob: I know what we need! To the Mermalair- I mean, to the Shady Shoals Retirement Home.
  • [Cut to the Shady Shoals Rest Home.]
  • Narrator: The last time we saw our crime-fighting duo, they were in the clutches of evil!
  • Mermaid Man: Evil!
  • Barnacle Boy: Darn kids... Didja have to say that?
  • Narrator: Sorry.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick run up to the two heroes.]
  • SpongeBob: Mermaid Man! Mermaid Man! Can I borrow the Invisible Boatmobile? Uh, please?
  • Barnacle Boy: How many times do I have to tell you kids? That boat is for fighting crime, not for crazy joyriding!
  • Patrick: We're not joyriding.
  • SpongeBob: No way! I'm tryna get my license!
  • Barnacle Boy: That boatmobile is not for learning to drive! It's for fighting injustice! For battling ruthless enemies of freedom! For battling evil!
  • Mermaid Man: Evil!
  • Barnacle Boy: Oh, brother...
  • SpongeBob: I'll give it a wash!
  • Barnacle Boy: Promise to be careful?
  • SpongeBob: I won't put a scratch on it!
  • Barnacle Boy: Not. A scratch.
  • Mermaid Man: Whatever. Bring it home by four. Or any part dinner.

SpongeBob's Final Exams[]

  • Seymour: Settle down, friends! Settle down! We don't wanna make the boy nervous. Come on over, son! [SpongeBob walks over to Seymour] SpongeBob, you have done extremely well in your lessons! Why, I could not be prouder of you if you were my own boy! But you do have to finish your exams, I'm afraid, before I can give you your license to drive! Do you think you're ready?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know if I'm ready, Mr. Scales, but I'll do my best.
  • Seymour: Fantastic, SpongeBob!

Not This Time... Not This Time[]

  • Mrs. Puff: What in Heaven's name is going on? Someone's trying to teach SpongeBob to drive! And from the looks of it, they're doing... as well as could be expected! I can't let this happen! I'll be ruined! Ruined! It's time to go and find out what's going on over there! [rushes into her school. A bubble transition occurs, and she comes out wearing a black ski mask that covers her entire head] If that man actually teaches SpongeBob to drive, I'll have to move... and start a new driving school... [gasps] and change my name! Not again! Not this time!

SpongeBob Gets His License[]

  • Seymour: SpongeBob, my boy, well done! Well done!
  • SpongeBob: I did it. I did it! I'm a winner! I did it! Oh, this is the best day ever!
  • Seymour: Right you are! You come on over here, and let's get you that license to drive!
  • [Cut to Seymour taking a picture of SpongeBob for his license.]
  • Seymour: Stand just like that. Very good. Now hold still.
  • [Cut to Seymour and SpongeBob standing in front of a crowd with his license.]
  • Seymour: Friends. [clears throat] May I have your attention? [clears throat again]

It Was Only A Scam[]

  • [Seymour is seen in handcuffs with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy restraining him.]
  • SpongeBob: After all that, it was just a scam...
  • Mermaid Man: Evil! Evil!
  • Seymour: I woulda pulled it off, too, if it wasn't for Mrs. Puff's meddling around!
  • SpongeBob: I guess I'm not gonna get my license after all...
  • Patrick: That's okay, SpongeBob. You can always take classes from Mrs. Puff again next year.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, you're right! D'aw, Mrs. Puff, how can I ever thank you?
  • Mrs. Puff: [laughs] No need to thank me, SpongeBob. [laughs, but those laughs suddenly start getting nervous] Oh, what have I done...?

Character Quotes[]

SpongeBob[]

  • This sponge is still mobile!
  • I'm gonna knock you into next week! Or maybe just the next lane.
  • Get off the road, granddad!
  • Should I put my head between my knees now?
  • I've got you in my sights.
  • Hey, watch that speed limit!
  • I am so fast!
  • Excuse me, can someone please kiss my boo-boo?
  • Aww, shucks! I think I ripped my pants.
  • Have you read the Highway Code?!
  • Let the boat bits fly!
  • That's the way you take them down!
  • [giggles] That tickles!

Patrick[]

  • It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a... sea star!
  • I know a lot about head injuries.
  • Look at me, I'm flying!
  • Oh, yeah! I rule!
  • Oh, driving is so easy. You want me to give you lessons, pal?
  • I'm the king of the castle, you're the dirty rascal!
  • Aah! Don't knock my toes off! Oh, wait... I don't have toes.
  • I think I'll just sit here. Not!
  • Is there a mechanic in the house?
  • Go, Patrick! Go, Patrick! Yay!
  • Dad always said to keep my feet on the floor. He never mentioned my car.
  • Ha! I'm good at this.
  • You're a cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!
  • Tell me you're coming back for me! Pleeeeease?
  • I wanna go in your boatmobile next time!
  • Is this thing on?
  • Hey, look at that! A jellyfish!

Sandy[]

  • Prepare for a long, merciless whoopin'!
  • Y'all better stay down now, ya hear?
  • Your butt is uglier than homemade soup!
  • My friends back in Texas would be jealous of that jump.
  • Yee-haw! This is rooting-tooting fantastic!
  • That's one for the land critters!
  • Don't you dare take the name of Texas in vain!
  • Just try and keep up with this land critter.
  • Y'all better look out!
  • Get me back on dry land and we'll have a rematch!
  • My beautiful boatmobile!
  • Well, I'll be a dune bug in a madian meeting!
  • Whoop! Whoop!
  • Look! I'm a bird!
  • Woo-wee! Now that was fast!
  • Aw, darn it.
  • Hey! I think you need to slow down.

Squidward[]

  • Wait, I'm flying?!
  • I think I can see my house from up here.
  • In the event of an sudden decrease in counter-pressure, hold on tight!
  • This is just like being in a hammock. I need some iced tea.
  • Why I oughta!
  • If you ask me nicely, I might slow down!
  • Next time, I'm driving the bus.
  • Is there something else holding this boatmobile up?!
  • Back to the clarinet for me, then!
  • I didn't realize we started yet.
  • Squidward is the king of the roads!
  • This calamari is fresh!
  • I needed a break anyway.
  • You're no match from my perfect aim!
  • On three! One, two... D'oh, whoops!
  • Good enough for an A?!
  • Are you happy now?
  • Would it help if I use the gas pedal?
  • You can't catch me, I'm the Squidinator!

Mr. Krabs[]

  • Being this high won't make me any money!
  • Is that a dime down there?
  • Come back here and I'll make ya walk the plank!
  • Hello. I'm Mr. Krabs, and I like money!
  • It's not how fast you go. It's that I'm gonna get ya!
  • Catch me if you can, silly landlubbers!
  • How many times do I have to show you why I'm the boss?
  • There's gonna be some changes around here.
  • I drive better sideways.
  • Hello? May I take your money?
  • I've just been giving you a false sense of security.
  • That's coming out of your paycheck!
  • Stop stealing me booty!

Plankton[]

  • How am I supposed to take over if I'm not doin' anythin'?
  • Let's get goin' already before I lose an antenna from sheer boredom!
  • Ah, where's my mind control device?
  • Come on and do somethin'!
  • I can't win it if I'm not in it!
  • If I see this stretch of road one more time, I'm goin' to set this controller to self-destruct!
  • You can see me in here, can't you?!
  • My small moves provide better aerodynamics!
  • I will have my revenge!
  • I love to look down on people!
  • NO!! Go the other way!
  • I went to college!
  • I will rule the world!
  • Watch out below! I never get to say that.

Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy[]

  • Mermaid Man: Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and broccoli? Mmm...
  • Mermaid Man: I remember that time when we used to run around and catch bad guys.
  • Barnacle Boy: You don't remember breakfast, you old coot!

Mrs. Puff[]

  • I'm so good at this.
  • Have you read the Highway Code?!
  • I was just getting the hang of this!
  • You'll never get anywhere driving like that!
  • That was terrible driving.
  • No, you don't! You don't know who I am!
  • Don't you know your stopping distances?
  • Hey! That's not very nice!
  • No, you don't know me! You must have me confused with someone else!
  • You really should watch the road more carefully!
  • I think I've blown my disguise.
  • Can I get your insurance details later?

Seymour[]

  • 1, 2, 3, smash! 1, 2, 3, smash! Again!
  • Now, driving like that will make a teacher cry.
  • That's a fine student, a fine student indeed.
  • This is why I teach these classes!
  • Keep up the good work, son!
  • This is how you jump! Now you try.
  • Alright, class! Pay attention.
  • And this is how you floor it!
  • Fantastic job, son!
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