Shellback Shenanigans/transcript

	"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Shellback Shenanigans" from season 7, which aired on September 18, 2010.

[The episode starts at the Krusty Krab at night.]
SpongeBob: [flips sign from "open" to "closed] Good night, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Closing time already?
SpongeBob: I just served a Krabby Patty to the last customer.
Mr. Krabs: Well, have a good night, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, is it okay if I buy a Krabby Patty to go for my pet snail Gary?
Mr. Krabs: I thought those things ate mostly kibble.
SpongeBob: It's a special treat. Just to get him ready for tomorrow....
Mr. Krabs: Oh! Right! Okay, that makes- Wait, what's tomorrow?
SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs, did you forget?
Mr. Krabs: Probably.
SpongeBob: Tomorrow is "Bring Your Pet To Work" day!
Mr. Krabs: I don't need a special day for that. Squidward's here every day!
Squidward: [stands in the doorway] Nice. [walks away] Real nice!
SpongeBob: Umm... can I buy that patty?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure.
SpongeBob: Alright! Gary's gonna be so excited!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob! I almost forgot. The price is double for pets because they're so special.
SpongeBob: Good idea! [gives Mr. Krabs some change] Thanks again, Mr. Krabs! [leaves, then pops out of nowhere] Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, what?
SpongeBob: [speaking gibberish]
Mr. Krabs: What, what?!
SpongeBob: We're all out of Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: Did you check the freezer?!
SpongeBob: I checked the freezer, the spare freezer, the back-up freezer, the extra freezer, the rear freezer, the micro freezer, and the freezer under the stairs!
Mr. Krabs: What about the freezer in the attic?
SpongeBob: We don't have an attic.
Mr. Krabs: No attic?!
SpongeBob: You sold it, remember?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah.
[Plankton and Karen are spying on Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob from the Chum Bucket with a telescope.]
Plankton: Now what are they saying, Karen? Karen?!
Karen: I have no idea.
Plankton: What? I thought you said you could read lips!
Karen: I can, but you took my telescope away!
[Plankton gives the telescope to Karen.]
Mr. Krabs: [in the telescope] Well, that settles it, SpongeBob. We're just gonna have to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: A fresh batch?
Mr. Krabs: That's what I said. A fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
Plankton: Okay, now what's he saying?
Karen: He said that they're going to make a fresh batch of Krabby Patties.
Plankton: A fresh batch of—ooh, this is good. This is really good!
SpongeBob: When are we making this fresh batch of Krabby Patties, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: What?
Plankton: Okay, what'd he just say?
Karen: What?
Plankton: I said, "What'd he just say?"
Karen: He said, "What?"
Plankton: I have no idea, that's why I'm asking you what he just said!
Karen: I know that, and I'm saying he said, "What?"!
Plankton: I know that! Wait... oh, he said, "What?".
Karen: Yes!
SpongeBob: Wow, a whole new fresh batch of Krabby Patties! Gary's gonna go crazy!
Mr. Krabs: You know, SpongeBob, heh, might not be such a good idea bringing a dirty snail into the kitchen. I think we might just want to reschedule "Bring Your Pet To Work" day.
SpongeBob: No! Mr. Krabs, I promise that Gary will be sparkly clean. I'll give him an extra long bath tonight!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay. Just make sure he's healthy and clean!
Plankton: Healthy and Clean, Fresh Batch of Krabby Patties? Ooh, I think I smell a plan!
[Bubbles change the scene showing SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob: Gary! I brought you a delicious treat!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: There you are, Gare-bear. I brought you some kelp fries. [holds a bag and shakes it upside down. A plate of kelp fries falls out and Gary sniffs them] I was going to bring you a Krabby Patty, but we ran out! I'll go get your bath ready, while you enjoy those. [Gary gets scared and runs away while SpongeBob fills the bath tub] Gary! Your bath is ready! Gary? Gary? [eats a kelp fry] Gary? [walks in the kitchen] Gary?! [sees Gary hiding under the counter] Gary, not again. Come out of there, it's dirty! [grabs Gary] Gotcha! Come on, Gary, quit messing arou.... [tries to pull him out but accidentally trips and Gary flies into a pot on top of the refrigerator and is covered in mud]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [upset] Great, Gary, just great. Now you're gonna need an extra, extra, extra, extra long bath! You're not gonna come down from there, are you?
Gary: Meow. [No]
SpongeBob: Ugh! You win, we'll bathe you in the morning. [flicks off the light and leaves; bubbles change the scene. Gary hears a knock on the door and comes to answer it]
Plankton: [in a disguise wearing a wig and has a suitcase] Good morning, sir! My name is Sheldon R. Shellcleaner, owner and operator of Super Shell Cleaner Vacations Unlimited. Can I ask you a question? Are you tired of your dirty shell resulting in tireless hours of...
SpongeBob: [offscreen] Gary! I'm going to start the bath!
Plankton: Look, I'll just cut to the chase. Do you have a dirty shell and hate bath time?
Gary: Meow.
Plankton: Of course you do! That's why I must tell you about our limited time offer. For not 4, not 3, but 1 luxurious night here! [opens his suitcase and a large poster pops out] At Club Shell! A perfect resort for snails. Don't try to pinch yourself, this could be...
SpongeBob: [offscreen] Gary! The bath is ready!
Plankton: ...all yours! Now I know what you're thinking, but I got you covered! [shows Gary an orange inflatable shell] A temporary shell will be provided for you to wear while yours is being cleaned, and all of this is free of charge, of course.
SpongeBob: [offscreen] Gary! Your bath is ready!
[Gary immediately puts on the shell and leaves]
Plankton: Have a pleasant stay! Bon voyage! [closes the door and takes off the disguise, goes into Gary's real shell, and puts small balls on his antennas, making him look like Gary, then laughs] If my reasoning is correct, as SpongeBob's pet, I'll get to witness Krabby Patties being made from scratch! Then I can copy the formula and destroy Krabs once and for all!
SpongeBob: [appears walking next to Plankton in the shell and mistakes him for Gary] Ah-ha, there you are, Gare-Bear! [picks him up and walks up the stairs] Oh, you naughty little snail hiding from me! I'm gonna give you a real good scrubbing. You have to be sparkly clean for "Bring your pet to work" day! And today is the day! [goes to the bath tub and drops "Gary" in the tub] First, I'm gonna start you off with a yummy smelling shower gel!
Plankton: Wha...? [gets squirted with the gel and is covered in shampoo]
SpongeBob: Oh, smells nice, doesn't it?
Plankton: Ugh...
SpongeBob: [takes "Gary" and holds him above his head] Prepare yourself for the scrubbing of a lifetime! [scrubs Plankton by dragging him back and forth like a sponge]
Plankton: [screams]
SpongeBob: [stops scrubbing him] Bet that feels good, huh?
Plankton: [coughs and chokes] Curses! I mean... meow?
SpongeBob: [nervous] Gary, are you sure you're feeling alright?
Plankton: I've never felt better! Uh, I mean... meow! [soap washes off and reveals his body to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [worried] Gary! You're turning green! And talking!
Plankton: No, I'm not.
SpongeBob: [rushes down the stairs holding "Gary"] We gotta get you to the pet hospital!
Plankton: Pet hospital?! But what about the fresh batch of Krabby Patties?! I mean, meow!
SpongeBob: You're right! I'll call Mr. Krabs and tell him I'm gonna be late. Gary, you're a lot more talkative when you're sick. [Bubbles change the scene showing the hospital. To Sadie] Excuse me, nurse. My snail has been talking and turning green. Is he sick?
[Sadie takes a look at "Gary"]
Plankton: [afraid she might notice it's him] Meow? [Sadie throws bottles of medicine on the ceiling while shrieking in horror]
SpongeBob: Is that yes? Or no?
Sadie: I have never seen such a drastic case! Rush this snail to the intensive care unit stat!
Plankton: Intensive care unit?
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary. These are professionals.
[Bubbles change the scene and Plankton is sitting on a bed]
Plankton: [sees a large computer, thinking it's Karen] Karen! Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.
Sadie : [walks in the room] Don't worry. We're just going to subject you to a series of invasive tests. It'll be over before you know it. [pulls a curtains and we hear Plankton screaming in pain while the screen shows the hospital. SpongeBob breathes heavily thinking about "Gary"]
Jennifer-Millie: Sir, all the doctor is saying is that your snail is still in the intensive care unit, and we just need to run a couple more tests.
Purple Doctorfish: [to Jennifer] That's not what I'm saying at all.
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary! [crying]
Purple Doctorfish: [to SpongeBob] Yes, I'll be honest with you, son, we've tried everything we can. We just can't find out anything wrong with him. I've never seen anything like it.
SpongeBob: Please try to save him, doctor!
[Cut to Plankton]
Plankton: [sleeps on the bed, then wakes up paranoid] No! No more! Please! I-I-I-I...
Sadie: Relax, Gary, the tests are over. I'm just here to give you a little pill.
Plankton: Whew! That's a relief.
Sadie: [takes out a giant pill bigger than Plankton] Now, open wide. [Plankton screams as Sadie puts the pill in his mouth]
Sadie: That wasn't so bad, was it? [Plankton has the pill in his mouth, tears up, and spits out the pill all over her] That's not good. [Cuts to SpongeBob still crying] Uh, Mr. SquarePants?
SpongeBob: [stops crying and heads over to "Gary" who is covered up in bandages] Gary!
Sadie: The doctor says there's nothing more we can do. It's best to take him home and let nature take its course.
SpongeBob: You're- you're saying that he's... that he might... oh. [Sadie walks away] Nurse? Nurse?! Oh, well, Gary, this looks like it might be...[sniffles]... the end. [wails]
Plankton: If I could just have a... [coughs] Krabby Patty before I go...
SpongeBob: Sure thing, little buddy, sure. [sniffs] Y'know, it's... it's really poignant.
Plankton: What is?
SpongeBob: Well, now that you can talk, we're... we're running out of time to say I love you! [continues wailing and crying]
Plankton: [sighs] Oh, boy...
[Bubbles change the scene to the bus Gary is on.]
Tourist: So, once again, we'd like to thank you for choosing Club Shell, and we hope to see you again real soon.
SpongeBob: [carries "Gary"] Just a little further, Gare-Bare.
[Gary looks out the window.]
Plankton: Yes!
[Gary angrily pulls the busline and slithers over to the Krusty Krab.]
SpongeBob: [puts "Gary" down on the floor next to the grill] Buddy, you just stay right here, and Daddy's gonna go get the secret formula and whip you up the best batch that we ever whipped up. Be right back, Gare-Bear. [walks away gloomily]
Plankton: Yes, SpongeFool, come right back with your complete undoing and victory will be mine!
[Gary slithers to Plankton angrily and growls at him.]
Plankton: Mommy? Hey, wait!
[Gary beats Plankton, while Mr. Krabs hears this, and he sees Plankton running out the door.]
Mr. Krabs: Plankton? [finds out Gary beat him out of the restaurant and has an idea. Bubbles change the scene. Gary is at the Krusty Krab door letting people in, then Plankton, in a costume, comes up to Gary]
Plankton: Good day, sir. I'm just here to sample some of your delicious Krabby fare. [Gary growls] Whoa, there, fido! [screams and runs away] I'm going! I'm going already!
SpongeBob: Wow, Gary's doing a great job as bouncer, huh, Mr. Krabs? Really earning his pay.
Mr. Krabs: Well, he takes after you, boy. [surprised] Pay?! [the episode ends]