This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Sheldon SquarePants" from season 14, which aired on July 23, 2024.
- [The episode begins as Patrick is drooling on a checkerboard in SpongeBob's house, playing checkers with him while they stand up upside down.]
- Patrick: [lying on couch] Uhh... [points on checkerboard] there!
- SpongeBob: Not bad. [picks up checker piece] But let's see what you think of this [drops checker piece as the phone rings inside him] move. Excuse me, Patrick. I should get this. [shakes his body to be right-side up; phone rings, presses his tie to open up a phone box inside him, answers] Yello?
- Harold: [waving as a split-screen of him and SpongeBob appears] Oh, hello, son. Are you busy?
- SpongeBob: Well, Patrick and I are pretty deep [takes checker piece from his pocket] into a game of upside-down [puts back checker piece] checkers, but I always have time for you and Mom. [pokes Harold's nose] Boop.
- Margaret: [slides into Harold's place] We're very glad to hear that because we have a surprise for you. [pokes SpongeBob's nose] Boop.
- SpongeBob: A surprise? I love surprises!
- Margaret: Can you come over right away?
- SpongeBob: You bet. See you soon. [slurps the phone] Sorry, Patrick, I have to go. [places Gary upside-down in his spot] But Gary can finish the game with you. [jumps away]
- Gary: [playing checkers, takes out all of Patrick's pieces] Meow.
- Patrick: Looks like I only have one move left. [swipes his tongue to eat the entire checkerboard]
- [Cut to Avocondo Acres, where SpongeBob is excitedly waiting outside his parents' house.]
- Harold: [opens the front door with Margaret beside her]
- SpongeBob: [waves]Hi, Mom! [stretches his body around the screen to wave again] Hi, Dad!
- Margaret: Hello, darling.
- SpongeBob: [rushes inside past his parents, knocking them over; now quickly looking around under a chair, then sits in it once his parents arrive; stands up and looks around the entire place] My surprise has to be around here, somewhere!
- Harold: It sure is, Son. Are you ready for it?
- SpongeBob: [jumping repeatedly] Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?
- Margaret: Well, you're standing on it.
- SpongeBob: [lifts his foot to see he has stepped on Plankton]
- Plankton: [groans, touches SpongeBob's shoe] Boop.
- SpongeBob: Plankton?
- Margaret: Meet your new brother, Sheldon.
- [The camera zooms in on Plankton as it warps into a flashback, where Plankton is seen running to the SquarePants' house.]
- Plankton: [laughs evilly as the approaches the house, places a baby basket, throws out the baby, and places himself inside, then rings the doorbell]
- Harold: [voiceover as he and Margaret answer the door] We found him on our doorstep this morning.
- Margaret: [Plankton is seen sucking on a pacifier while wearing a diaper like a baby]' He was just as cute as a button. [takes Plankton inside, flashback ends]
- Harold: And we did what any decent sponges would do and immediately adopted [SpongeBob picks up Plankton] the little foundling.
- Plankton: [dizzy, groaning, then shakes his head and points to himself] I'm your new brother!
- SpongeBob: Wait a minute.
- Plankton: [laughs nervously]
- SpongeBob: This is--great! I've always wanted a brother! [hugs Plankton tightly] Ooh!
- Margaret: All right, [pointing] you two boys have fun. [kisses Plankton and SpongeBob before leaving with Harold]
- Plankton: All right, SpongeBob. [points away] You heard the dopes. Eh, I mean, "Mommy" and "Daddy." We're brothers now. And brothers tell each other everything. [laughs evilly while rubbing his hands] Especially the Krabby Patty secret formula. [laughs evilly]
- SpongeBob: [laughs with Plankton and his parents] You're right, Plankton. There's [wags finger] no secrets between brothers.
- Plankton: Yes. Yes!
- SpongeBob: But first, we have to get closer by doing things together, like brothers do.
- Plankton: [sighs] Eh, fine.
- [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Plankton playing baseball in the backyard. Plankton is holding a glove while SpongeBob is the pitcher.]
- SpongeBob: First up, a little game of catch.
- Plankton: [struggling to push the glove] Hold on, hold on! This glove is too big. [gets crushed by the baseball]
- SpongeBob: [off-screen] Heads up!
- Plankton: [lifting baseball, groans] Here. Here you go. [weakly throws baseball]
- SpongeBob: Nice throw, Plankton. [pours hot sauce onto the baseball] Now here comes one with a little spice on it. [tosses baseball]
- Plankton: [putting hand out] No, wait! [gets crushed by the baseball, gets up while the baseball is his eye] It burns!
- [Back inside, SpongeBob's parents holding mugs look outside to see baseballs being thrown.]
- Margaret: Oh, Harold, it's so nice to see our boys getting along.
- Harold: Oh, it really is, dear. [both sip their drinks]
- Plankton: [rolls into place while on the baseball, groans, then rolls over to SpongeBob] Okay, enough catch. How about we share secrets now?
- SpongeBob: Sorry, but we [pulls out "BROTHERLY LOVE" meter] haven't filled our brotherly love meter yet. [puts back love meter] We have more bonding to do. And what better way to brotherly bond than by helping our neighbors? [picks up Plankton from the baseball]
- [Bubble transition to SpongeBob running to someone's house while holding Plankton.]
- SpongeBob: I'm sure these nice ladies will have some chores for us to [snaps fingers] do.
- Plankton: [sarcastic] Oh, goody. [rings doorbell]
- Prunes: [answers door] Whatever you're sellin', I'm not buyin'.
- SpongeBob: No, ma'am. My brother and I were hoping you had some [tosses Plankton into the air and catches him with his other hand] housework that needs doing.
- Prunes: You two look like a couple of weirdos. And I don't let weirdos touch my stuff!
- Mary: [wheels her out] Ma! Give it a rest! Don't mind her. You boys can mow our kelp lawn. [zoom out to their kelp lawn, points right] Mower's out by the tires. Careful. [wheels her mom back inside]
- SpongeBob: [salutes] We're always careful, ma'am. [now standing next to a broken lawnmower] Okay, little brother, [Plankton climbs to the top of the lawnmower] you get the motor going. And I'll drive.
- Plankton: [tugging on the lever] Hey, can we switch places?
- SpongeBob: [laughs] That's cute, but you're not tall enough to work the controls. Now give her a good tug.
- Plankton: All right, whatever. [struggles to pull on the lever, then eventually tugs it along the ground and lets go] Whoa!
- SpongeBob: [screams as he loses control of the lawnmower as it starts driving on its own, eventually getting spun before losing it] [sees Plankton with the top of his head cut off] Are you okay? You were supposed to be [Plankton puts the top of his head back] careful.
- Mary: [wheels Prunes outside as she looks around with her crusty eyes] Mmm. Nice work, I think. [holds out a nickel] Here's a shiny nickel, boys.
- Prunes: You're paying for this mess? Quit spoiling them, Mary.
- Mary: [flips the coin to SpongeBob and Plankton]
- Plankton: A lousy nickel? Why, you decrepit-- [gets crushed by the nickel, which SpongeBob takes]
- SpongeBob: [coin shows an anguished Plankton as the President] We're rich!
- [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Plankton walking on the sidewalk in downtown Bikini Bottom.]
- SpongeBob: Okay, next, we're going to head down to the junkyard and play with the [raises finger] metal shredder.
- Plankton: No way! I've had it with your torturous activities. [horns honk] I'm--wait a second. [elephant noises] Where are we?
- SpongeBob: [points at "SLIPPIN' PEEL'S SCHOOL O' YUCKS"] Right by the Clown College. Why?
- Plankton: We have to get out of here right now. [pointing] Come on! We'll take the long way home.
- SpongeBob: What's the matter? You're not afraid of clowns, are you? [laughs, then looks up to see a giant angry clown next to him]
- Clown: [turns SpongeBob into a balloon animal, which he tosses away] I thought I told you not to come around here, Shrimp! [pokes Plankton]
- Plankton: [laughs nervously] Yeah, you might have mentioned that before, Squeakers.
- Mr. Squeakers: That's [pokes] Mr. Squeakers to you. Looks like my [raises foot] big shoes get to stomp a tiny punk today.
- Plankton: [whimpers]
- SpongeBob: [pops himself back to normal] Brother! No! [gets in front of Mr. Squeakers and gets stepped on, then bounces back to normal to launch him into the air]
- Mr. Squeakers: [screaming] No! [bursts into confetti]
- Plankton: [pointing at SpongeBob] You--you saved me from that big-footed buffoon.
- SpongeBob: Of course. Brothers stick up for each other.
- Plankton: I can't believe I'm saying this, but, [rubs head] uh, I think I want to do more stuff with you, big brother.
- [Bubble transition to a montage of SpongeBob and Plankton doing things together. A jellyfish is seen above a coral tree, and SpongeBob is on a branch with a jellyfishing net trying to catch it. A jellyfish stings Plankton off-screen, scaring the other jellyfish away. SpongeBob lands on the now inflated Plankton, deflating him. They both laugh. Bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's parents' house, where SpongeBob is trying to reach for a jar of cookies on top of the fridge, with Plankton holding him up. Margaret comes in to scold them, then they all laugh. Plankton gets crushed by SpongeBob, and comes out of him on top. They both laugh again. Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking to the zoo, where SpongeBob and Plankton laugh at a sea monkey's butt. SpongeBob point and laughs while Plankton shakes his own butt. Then, the sea monkey rips off Plankton's butt, of which a close-up shot is shown. They both laugh again, ending the montage. Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Plankton laying on the grass, looking at the sky.]
- SpongeBob: [points up] That cloud looks like an elephant fish.
- Plankton: [points] That one looks like an iron maiden.
- SpongeBob: [points] That one looks like a baby jellyfish.
- Plankton: Ooh, [points] that one looks like a depth charge. Thank you, SpongeBob, for a truly wonderful day. [gets up] I had a lot of brothers and sister growing up, but never one who was actually nice to me.
- SpongeBob: Little brother, I'm ready.
- Plankton: Ready? Ready for what?
- SpongeBob: [stands up holding the brotherly love meter] We're real brothers now. [tosses away meter] I'm ready to share my deepest, most secretest [Plankton's pupil turns into the secret formula] secret. [Plankton forms an evil expression] I swore I'd never tell it to anyone. Oh, but I'm nervous. Could you go first?
- Plankton: Of course. Anything for my brother. Eh. [pacing] I put on a gruff exterior because I don't want the world to hurt me. But deep down, I'm afraid I'll push everyone away and end up alone. [looks up at SpongeBob, whose sad face is shown in a close-up]
- SpongeBob: Well, thanks very much for sharing that, little brother. Now it's my turn. [inhales deeply] No one is supposed to know this, but--but--
- Plankton: Yes? [holds out pen and notepad] Yes?
- SpongeBob: My tie, it's-- [holds out his tie, which is revealed to be a clip-on] a clip-on!
- Plankton: [points with pen] I knew it! Wait, what?
- SpongeBob: I never learned how to tie a tie! Look at it! Look at it! [holds tie in front of Plankton and rubs it onto him] Look your eyes upon my accursed shame! [breathes heavily, wipes sweat] Whew, sure felt good to get that off my chest.
- Plankton: That's it? That's your secret? [grabs eye] Are you kidding me?
- SpongeBob: Yep, that was it. Wait, are you upset?
- Plankton: You're darn right I am! You were supposed to tell me the secret formula! Nobody cares about your tie!
- SpongeBob: The secret formula? That's what you wanted to hear? Oh, I can't share that. [pokes head] It's locked in my brain box.
- [Zoom into SpongeBob's brain box, where a police guard Mr. Krabs is snoring while lounging in front of a safe. Beeping is heard.]
- Plankton: Well, then, [holds up chainsaw] I'll use this key to unlock it! [laughs evilly]
- SpongeBob: [shrieks]
- Plankton: [laughs evilly, then is taken away by Harold, swinging around while being held]
- Harold: Oh, boy, I was afraid of this.
- Margaret: [holding the basket] It looks like you two just weren't made to be brothers. [shakes head] Such a shame.
- Plankton: [Harold places white clothing onto him] Hey, what are you doing?
- Harold: Well, the only thing responsible parents can do--making our child someone else's problem. [places Plankton in the basket, then he and Margaret take off]
- SpongeBob: [waving] Bye, Plankton. I really liked having you as a brother.
- Plankton: Yeah, well, I hated every minute-- [Harold puts a pacifier in his mouth, which he sucks on]
- Margaret: [places Plankton in the basket in front of the Star family house, rings the doorbell, then he and Margaret quickly leave]
- Bunny: [answers the front door with Cecil] Why, look, Cecil! It's a baby boy.
- Cecil: Fantastic! I've always wanted our son to have a brother. Oh, Patrick!
- Patrick: [opens the top window and jumps out of it, taking Plankton with him] All right! Let's play checkers! [spits out a checkerboard and hits Plankton against the board repeatedly] Checkers! Checkers! Checkers!
- Plankton: Ouch! Ow!
- Patrick: [giggles]
- Plankton: [injured] Oh, brother.