This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Sentimental Sponge" from season 8, which aired on April 2, 2011.
- [Episode begins]
- French Narrator: Ahh, the first day of spring in Bikini Bottom. The flowers are blooming, the rainbows are... how you say? Bowing. The jellyfish are buzzing, [flowers grow all over SpongeBob's house, covering it] and it's time for the traditional...
- SpongeBob: Spring cleaning! Guess what time of year it is, Gary?
- Gary: Meow! [meows in pain. SpongeBob is singing while using Gary as a vacuum cleaner to clean up his house]
- SpongeBob: Thanks for your help, Gare!
- Gary: [sourly] Meow reow!
- Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick. How's your spring cleaning going?
- Patrick: It's Spring Cleaning Day?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!
- [Patrick runs through his pile of junk to get a cotton swab]
- Patrick: Found it! Thanks for the reminder, SpongeBob! [cleans his belly button] See ya again next spring. [notices the trash can] Whatcha got in your trash can? Huh!? You're throwing this away!? The wrapper of the gum I gave you yesterday!?
- SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
- Patrick: Oh! Some people just don't understand sentimental value. [gasps] You're throwing away Pete!? Y-You can't part with a keepsake! That's why you keep them, for Pete's sake! Hmph! Why, I'm disgusted! It's time you re-evaluate your priorities.
- SpongeBob: Hmm. Maybe Patrick is right. All of these things do hold precious memories. [the garbage man tries to take junk. SpongeBob gasps] No! [tries to take his junk back] Come on, you! [continues to pull] Gotcha! Welcome home, precious memories. [puts back his junk and saves empty box of Kelpo and toy wrapper] Plastic wrap is neat, huh, Gary?
- Gary: Meow! [on top of old newspaper]
- SpongeBob: [at the Krusty Krab] Order up! Careful with these ones, Squidward. They're special.
- Squidward: Oh, dear me. I know. I hope I never forget this moment.
- SpongeBob: You're right. I'm going to need something to preserve the memory.
- SpongeBob: Oh, perfect! [keeps the Krabby Patties grease] [sighs] Memories. Greasy memories.
- SpongeBob: Whoo-wee! Nothing like a hard day of work at the Krusty Krab, eh, Squidward? Whew!
- [SpongeBob saves his work sweat.]
- Squidward: You're sentimental about your sweat?
- SpongeBob: Oh, that's not all! And I'm also very sentimental about these Krusty Krab keepsakes, so many memories! Grill grease, gum from under the Krusty Krab tables, today's mop water, bendy straws, mayonnaise, a collection of freshly used ketchup packets, and these are today's order tickets written by my favorite fellow employee, Squidward. See? This one has your tentacle print on it!
- Squidward: Okay, this is getting creepy now.
- SpongeBob: Oh, well, better get these precious memories home.
- Squidward: Officially creeped out now.
- SpongeBob: [singing] ♪Memories, doo doo doo memories, doo doo doo doo memories.♪ [opens his door while all of his junk is there] Hey, Gary. [Gary is on top of more old newspapers, trying to eat his food. SpongeBob going up the stairs with junk in his wagon] Oh. Safe and sound! [SpongeBob's junk almost falls down, but SpongeBob closes the door before it falls down] Whoo, closed up tight! And you said it wouldn't fit. [all of SpongeBob's junk falls out]
- Gary: Meow, meow, meow.
- SpongeBob: Oh, nonsense, Gary, I'll find a place to put everything.
- [SpongeBob looks outside.]
- SpongeBob: Like the front yard!
- [Squidward is sleeping in bed, wakes up by his clock, turns it off, yawns as he stretches his arm tentacles, smacks his lips, and then sighs. He walks to his window, but as he opens it, some of SpongeBob’s junk fell all over him. Squidward's head pops up, he pushes some junk out of the window, and gasps when he sees more and even more of SpongeBob's junk outside. He opens his door when all the junk is in the way and goes to SpongeBob’s house, growling. Squidward struggles to get out of the junk, but hits his head onto SpongeBob’s door, falls down to the ground with a groan, and then knocks on the door.]
- SpongeBob: [in a singing voice] Who is it?
- Squidward: It's Squidward.
- SpongeBob: How do I know it's you?
- Squidward: [getting angry] Open the door, nitwit!
- SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Squidward, can I help you?
- Squidward: You can certainly help... [looks at SpongeBob] Why are you wearing garbage?
- SpongeBob: Thanks for noticing, Squidward, and may I say that's a very becoming dress you're wearing this morning.
- Squidward: Dress? It is not a dress, it's a nightshirt. If you don't get rid of this trash, I'm calling the sanitation police.
- SpongeBob: Ah, not the sanitation police! You don't understand, these things aren't junk! They're my friends, like this little guy, Alfred the light bulb. Oh, we had a great time together, Al, reading, paying the bills. [starts to cry] Why is it the ones who glow brightest burn out the soonest? [sniff] You will be missed. [sniffs and whimpers]
- Squidward: Touching. Still creepy, but touching. Time to make a phone call. [the cops come and the siren wails]
- Cop 1: Sanitation police! This is a raid. Step away from the refuse.
- Squidward: Thank goodness you're here, officer.
- Cop: Is this your filthy home?
- Squidward: No, it's not my home! It belongs to that filthy little dirtbag!
- SpongeBob: Hi!
- Cop 1: Thanks for the information, citizen.
- Cop 2: [to Squidward] Hmph, snitch.
- Cop 1: Do your duty, Sergeant.
- Cop 2: [puts a sticker that reads "COMDEMNED" on SpongeBob's house]
- Cop 1: This residence is now condemned.
- SpongeBob: Condemned? What does that mean?
- Cop 1: Condemned means this house is unfit to live in. You'll have to vacate the home immediately.
- SpongeBob: Vacate? You mean I have to move?
- Cop 1: Anything that is a threat to public health must be condemned. Sergeant.
- Cop 2: [puts a sticker that reads "CONDEMNED" on the trash bag on SpongeBob's head]
- Squidward: Thank you again, officers.
- SpongeBob: Wait! Please don't condemn my house.
- Squidward: Sorry, SpongeBob, the law is the law. We can't just pick and choose which ones we follow.
- Cop 1: I'll request a commendation for you.
- Squidward: Really?
- Cop 1: Right after we condemn your house!
- Squidward: Yea- What? My house?!
- Cop 1: Yes! It's as filthy as your neighbor's. [shows Squidward's house from the outside being as dirty as SpongeBob's]
- SpongeBob: But isn't there anything we can do?
- Cop 1: You can evacuate the premises, or throw away your junk.
- SpongeBob: Throw them away?
- Cop 1: Thank you for the attempt, ma'am.
- Squidward: Ma'am? It's a nightshirt! [the cops leave and the siren wails. They drive away as the siren continues wailing. Squidward, now angry that his house is condemned, turns to SpongeBob] This is all your fault! You have to get rid of your junk right now!
- SpongeBob: I know. [crying] I'm gonna miss them so much! [continues crying]
- Squidward: You really miss them?
- SpongeBob: No. I'll be strong. [continues crying again]
- Squidward: Well, maybe you can take photos of all your junk... uh, friends before you toss them away.
- SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Squidward! Then years from now, I can look at the photos, and remember my... remember my precious little babies! [cries again and again]
- Squidward: Creepy.
- SpongeBob: Say "Barnacles!" [Squidward is helping SpongeBob take photos by holding items] That's it. Work it. [takes a pic] Nice. Very nice. [takes a pic] Now give me angry. [takes a pic] Amazing. Now look pouty, [takes a pic] now smug. [takes a pic] Oh, that's it. Beautiful! [takes a few more pictures] [Scene cuts to SpongeBob holding his hat with Squidward next to him as the garbage man takes the junk away. He elbows Squidward to get his attention, and then points to his head to remind him to take his hat off.]
- Squidward: [mutters under his breath] Oh, good grief. [takes his hat off]
- [SpongeBob sniffles and cries as the garbage man takes the last can of junk away and throws it into the truck. SpongeBob walks over to him, holding up some dollar bills. The garbage man looked very mad.]
- SpongeBob: Your pay, my good man.
- [The garbage man takes the money and gets into the truck.]
- SpongeBob: [sniffs] [fighting back tears] Goodbye, little friends. [sniffs again] Have fun at the dump!
- [The garbage truck drives away.]
- Squidward: Well, now that you completely ruined my day, once again, I'm going back to bed.
- SpongeBob: Alright, nighty-night.
- Squidward: Idiot. [opens his door filled with photos by SpongeBob] What the...?! [He sees a picture of Pete] SpongeBob, why is my house filled with photos of your dumb junk?
- SpongeBob: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I took so many pictures I ran out of room in my house. [opens the door filled with photos and Patrick appears sliding with photos]
- Patrick: Nice dress.
- Squidward: [getting very angry] It's a nightshirt! [episode ends]