This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Sandy, Help Us!" from season 13, which aired on November 1, 2023.
- [The episode opens with a shot outside of Sandy's treedome, transitioning from night to day. Sandy is asleep.]
- Sandy: [snoring, cooing, scratches herself]
- [A rooster crows. Sandy wakes up and rubs her eyes.]
- Sandy: [groaning]
- [She presses a button on a coffee machine to grind some nuts into coffee. Once she drinks it, she wakes up, jumps into the air, and spins out of her sleep clothes.]
- Sandy: [energized] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Good morning, sunshine!
- [She looks out the window at a sun wearing a cowboy hat.]
- Sun: Morning, Sandy! [tips hat]
- [Sandy pulls a lever that raises a red curtain, showing an acorn in a pod next to it.]
- Sandy: [grunts, chuckles] Whoa, little doggie! After months of [presses panel] careful calculations, my bio-illogical experiment is almost done.
- SpongeBob: [screams and flies in through Sandy's window, creating an impact, then smashes against the glass pod]
- Sandy: [screams]
- SpongeBob: Sandy! Help me!
- Sandy: Hopping holes, SpongeBob! What's wrong?
- SpongeBob: You got to come quick. My alarm clock is broken!
- Sandy: [pauses, rubs head] Oh... your alarm clock, huh? [looks at seed, nervously] Uh, are you sure we need to take care of that just now?
- SpongeBob: Ye-he-he-he-hes! [slides down glass]
- Sandy: Oh. [shrugs] Oh, all right...
- [SpongeBob's house is shaking from the alarm blaring inside. Two fish run past and scream. Two on the road crash their boats into each other. SpongeBob, wearing corks in his ears, and Sandy, with acorns in her ears, shake up to the alarm. SpongeBob tries to flip the switch, but can't.]
- SpongeBob: [shows plug] I even pulled out the plug, and I [shakes arms] can't shut it off!
- Sandy: [worried] I got to get my brain working on this!
- [Sandy smacks her head and warbles. Inside her head, a smaller Sandy is in an exercise wheel hooked up to Sandy's brain. She wakes up, runs in the wheel, then hears an alarm ringing. She looks at the alarm, thinks then snaps her fingers.]
- Brain Sandy: Hmm? Hmm. Aha!
- [She flexes her finger, which shows its muscles. She turns off the alarm, looks at the camera, and smiles.]
- Sandy: [snaps out of trance] I see the problem! [to her head] Thanks, brain! [jams SpongeBob's finger into the switch, and it bounces off] Your spongy finger is just too darn soft and cute to press the switch.
- SpongeBob: Huh? [finger droops] Aw.
- Sandy: Don't worry, darling. I'll fix it.
- [Sandy snaps a bone through SpongeBob's finger. SpongeBob goes to shut off his alarm, but smashes it into a hole in the ground.]
- SpongeBob: [laughing] Thanks, Sandy.
- [The four fish outside the house pause. Sandy opens the door.]
- Fish: [all together] Thanks, Sandy!
- Sandy: [walks outside] I'm just itching to get back to my experiment.
- [A glowing green telephone appears before her and rings.]
- Sandy: Huh? [picks up receiver] Uh, hello?
- Flying Dutchman: [over receiver] Sandy, help me!
- Sandy: Flying Dutchman? [gets pulled up by the phone cord and into the Dutchman's ship] Whoaaa! [lands on the ground and grunts]
- Flying Dutchman: [making a monstrous face] Sandyyy!
- Sandy: [screams, covers her eyes, but then notices the Dutchman frozen in place]
- Dutchman: That's just a painting! [zooms out to show the frame] I'm down here! [pan to show the Dutchman, shrunken and trapped in a crystal ball]
- Sandy: [kneels next to him] What happened to you, Dutchy?
- Dutchman: What's it look like!? [knocks on ball] A witch trapped me inside a crystal ball! [presses hands against it] Now get me out of here! [Sandy picks up the ball] Sandy, I am in your hands.
- Sandy: Let me try a little... [shakes the ball hard] Hmm. Or maybe some of this. [gnaws on the ball, then sets it down] Well, that didn't work. [bangs head] Come on, brain! [fade into her brain]
- Brain Sandy: [dances around like a chicken, clucks]
- Sandy: [snaps fingers] That's it! I need to use good old farm science on this one! [clucks, covers the Dutchman's ball with her tail]
- Dutchman: Hey, what are you doing? Ow! [egg timer clicking, bell dings and the ball hatches] Hey! You hatched me good! [realizes] Wait a minute. I'm still tiny. [angry] What gives, Sandy?
- Sandy: [clucking]
- [A device resembling a seat held by four rocket boosters, with a megaphone, flies in.]
- Announcer: I'm sorry to interrupt, Science Officer Cheeks, but the Undersea Space Agency needs your immediate assistance.
- Sandy: Absolutely. [salutes] Sorry, Dutchy. Duty calls! [gets on the seat] Whoa! [flies out of the ship]
- [The megaphone disappears. A screen comes out of the rocket. After some static, Sergeant Roderick shows up on the screen.]
- Sergeant Roderick: A giant meteor is headed straight for Earth, [meteor shows on screen] and as usual, Sandy, you're the only one that can save us.
- Sandy: Hmmm...
- [Brain Sandy writes on a chalkboard full of diagrams and equations.]
- Brain Sandy: Aha! [pounds fist]]
- Sandy: [salutes] You can count on me, sir. [presses a button and her rocket rises from her treedome, she launches herself through a window] Hyah! Mm... [she sits down and pulls a lever to launch the rocket] Yahoo!
- [The rocket launches through the air, hitting a seagull out of the way. It flies next to Earth. A giant hand comes out of the rocket.]
- Sandy: Pardon me, Earth, [moves earth] you'll need to scooch over a bit.
- [The meteor flies past the Earth.]
- Sandy: [wipes forehead] Phew!
- [The meteor changes its course and flies back for Earth. An alarm blares.]
- Sandy: Wuh-oh! [looks at monitor] That sidewinding stone is a-coming back. [pulls a lever and grunts]
- [The rocket pulls out a spray bottle and extinguishes the meteor.]
- Sandy: Bad meteor, bad!
- Meteor: [cries, flies away]
- [Sandy's ship flies back to Earth, which grows a face.]
- Earth: Thanks, Sandy!
- [Sandy's rocket lands next to her dome. She enters her tree again.]
- Sandy: Sweet mother-of-pearl! I can finally be all alone with my-- [notices something and gasps loudly]
- [The seed has grown out of its pod. A giant nut shell is at the end.]
- Sandy: My experiment worked! It's huge! [something knocks from inside the shell] Wait right there. Cavalry's comin'!
- [Sandy takes out a giant pair of tweezers and cracks the nut. It opens, and a version of Sandy made of pecans comes out.]
- Pecan Sandy: I am Pecan Sandy!
- Sandy: Huh. Howdy, Pecan Sandy!
- [Sandy offers to shake hands, and they do, with Pecan Sandy being stronger and shaking Sandy around. Sandy becomes dizzy.]
- Sandy: Hmm? I'm Sandy Number One, and I created you in my lab to help me with all the chores while I'm out saving people all day. You can start by [points] taking out the garbage.
- [An overflowing garbage can with bags of trash around it is seen, with flies buzzing.]
- Pecan Sandy: Pecan Sandy hates taking out the garbage. [stomps foot, roars, and smashes a set of beakers]
- Sandy: [panicked] I'm sorry, Pecan Sandy! You don't have to take out the garbage! Uh, [gestures] how about washing the dishes?
- [Pecan Sandy pauses, looks at the dirty dishes in the sink, and gets angry again.]
- Pecan Sandy: Hmm? [grumbles, roars and smashes sink] Pecan Sandy is not your maid! [roars and runs around, smashing things]
- Sandy: This experiment is backfiring on me! [pounds her head] I got to think, got to think!
- [Brain Sandy runs in the wheel, but collapses in exhaustion.]
- Sandy: [worried] Oh! My bushwhacked brain is too fried to think. [angrier] All right, time to use some brawn! [puts on her karate gloves] Ah!
- [Pecan Sandy smashes Sandy's TV.]
- Sandy: [jumps behind her] Hi-ya!
- [Pecan Sandy hits Sandy with her tail and sends her flying backwards, into the nut shell.]
- Sandy: [grunting] Okay. [reaches for phone] Looks like I'm gonna need to pull the rip cord and [dials numbers] call my emergency contact.
- [The phone rings. Cut to a shack in the Kelp Forest. Narlene is inside, clipping her toes with a clam.]
- Narlene: [humming happily]
- [Narlene's phone rings. She answers it.]
- Narlene: [into phone] Heeellllo?
- Sandy: [screaming through receiver] Narlene, help me!
- [Narlene puts the phone down and runs outside. Sandy is still on the phone.]
- Sandy: Narlene? Are you there?
- [Narlene squeezes through a hole in the tree. She sees Sandy in the shell.]
- Narlene: Well, that's Sandy in a nutshell. [laughs and slaps knee]
- Sandy: [throws away phone] I'd like to laugh about it, too, Narlene. [points to shell] Can you get me out of here soon?
- Narlene: Sooner than you think! [pecks the shell with her horn and cracks it open]
- Sandy: Than you kindly, country buddy! [hugs her]
- [Pecan Sandy roars and throws a colander over Narlene and Sandy, who shout and duck, then jump behind a log. Pecan Sandy smashes a wooden chair.]
- Narlene: Don't tell me. You created a Pecan Sandy in your lab. It's gone on a rampage, and you need my help to stop it.
- Sandy: Yep! That about covers it!
- Narlene: Let me give it a think. [zoom into her brain] Hmm...
- [Brain Narlene is relaxing on a hamster wheel. She spins to the top of it, then falls and the wheel collapses. She laughs, then walks away, stubbing her toe on a piece of wood.]
- Brain Narlene: [hopping and holding foot] Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
- Narlene: [hopping and holding foot] Ow! [gets idea] I got it! There's only one way to pummel a pesky pecan into pie-- [grabs her feet] with your feet!
- Sandy: [scolding] That's your answer for everything, Narlene! [happy, grabs feet] And I like it!
- [A bell dings. They smack their feet like fists and run off on their hands. Pecan Sandy smashes a log. Narlene and Sandy jump on her and knock her over, with Narlene dragging her body away. She lets go of her and snaps her into Sandy. Narlene does a flip and lands feet-first on Pecan Sandy's head.]
- Sandy: [grabbing Pecan Sandy's feet] Nice triple footsie, Narlene!
- Narlene: [as Pecan Sandy tries to grab her] Now, ain't you sweet? I liked your toe-jam slam, too, Sandy.
- [Pecan Sandy grabs Narlene and throws her as she shouts. She kicks Sandy away. They both land against the wall.]
- Pecan Sandy: [roars]
- Narlene: [determined] My mama didn't raise no quitters. I'm getting to the bottom of this pickle barrel.
- Sandy: Watch it, Narlene!
- [Narlene runs, her horn shining.]
- Pecan Sandy: [roars]
- [Narlene skids to a stop and talks to Pecan Sandy.]
- Narlene: Tell me, Pecan Sandy, why are you so angry?
- Pecan Sandy: Pecan Sandy angry because she created me to take out her [stomps] garbage!
- Narlene: [scratches head] You did what, now? Heck, I'd go on a rampage, too. What possessed you?
- Sandy: [nervously] It was a bad idea. I admit it now. Look, on paper... Oh...
- Narlene: Well, now that I know the whole story, my hill-folk wisdom tells me there's only one way to crack this nutty problem.
- [Pecan Sandy, wearing an air helmet, kicks through the door of Sandy's treedome and looks around in confusion. Narlene and Sandy watch her.]
- Narlene: We got to let her loose, to live her own life.
- Sandy: I want whatever Pecan Sandy wants.
- Pecan Sandy: [points to self] I am Pecan Sandy! And me do what me wants! [laughs and runs away]
- Narlene and Sandy: Y'all come back anytime!
- Sandy: [sticks a "closed" sign on the treedome] All right, we've earned a break.
- [Bubble transition to Narlene and Sandy relaxing on a hammock and listening to music. Downtown, Pecan Sandy holds up Larry's car. A broken fire hydrant and a bent street lamp are nearby.]
- Pecan Sandy: Me finally happy! [grunts, throws Larry's car, which explodes]
- Townsfolk: [running and screaming]
- Pecan Sandy: [roars]
- [Pecan Sandy throws a trash can at a fish. A building collapses. The townsfolk run up to Sandy's dome and pound on the glass.]
- Townsfolk: Sandy, help us!
- [Narlene and Sandy ignore them, continuing to listen to music as the episode fades to black.]