- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Patrick Star
- Bus driver (debut)
- Harold Bill Reginald Scott
- Ivy (gray)
- Abigail Marge (normal; orange)
- Harold (red fish)
- Frank (red shirt)
- Jimmy Gus
- Thaddeus (cameo)
- Evelyn (cameo)
- Larry the Lobster (cameo)
- Jennifer Millie (cameo)
- Wobbles (cameo)
- Norma Rechid
- Peterson Nat Tucker
- Construction workers
- Frank (lifeguard)
- Sand King (debut)
- Frankie Billy
- Sand queen (mentioned)
- Sand gargoyles
- Sand knights (debut)
- Sand horses (debut)
- Sand warriors (debut)
- Sand bull (debut)
- Sand general (debut)
- Don the Whale
- Harry (fish)
- Martha Smith
- Medley Fishbowl
- Nathiel Waters
- Tina Fran
- Vera Fishbowl
- Other beachgoers
- Jellyfish (mentioned)
SynopsisSpongeBob and Patrick plan to go to the beach for the entire day. They decide to take the bus. Throughout the ride, they anger the driver and passengers with their enthusiasm, causing the driver to kick them off before they can start singing. The two believe they're lost until SpongeBob is hit by a Volleyball, indicating that they made it. As they play on the beach, they inadvertently destroy the life guard tower. The life guard, angry, suggests they play in the sand somewhere else.
Later on, the two decide to build sand castles. After Patrick destroys SpongeBob's sand castle, SpongeBob draws a dividing line between them to end their dispute, but in vain. Patrick builds a castle on top of the line. SpongeBob damages the sand castle, only for Patrick to retaliate by destroying his again.
SpongeBob reconstructs his castle, but to a massive scale that rivals the size of an actual castle. Patrick responds by building one of his own. SpongeBob, hoping to avoid an all-out war, writes a peace treaty. Patrick signs it, but then later changes his mind, saying it "isn't worth the sand it's printed on" after he fires an arrow at SpongeBob's fortress. SpongeBob, in turn declares war on Patrick and begins to improve the durability of his fortress. While he is doing so, Patrick builds an army of horse-mounted knights.
SpongeBob in self-defense builds a catapult and uses it against the knights as they storm towards him. He then summons his own troops to attack Patrick. Patrick retreats into his castle and returns with a cannon, in which he attacks SpongeBob's hit squad. The hit squad retreats, and SpongeBob manages to get them safely back inside his own fortress. It is in vain, however, the cannonball finds its way over the fortress wall and smashes them.
SpongeBob in retaliation builds a tank to destroy Patrick's fortress, while Patrick comes with a giant robot. The tank and the robot clash, and the robot gains the upper-hand by picking up SpongeBob's tank. As it prepares to crush the tank, SpongeBob fires the tank's cannon monsters and destroys Patrick's robot. He for the next moment thinks he is victorious, but Patrick returns on the robot's head, which has separated from the body and is now an airship.
SpongeBob pulls out a remote control and pushes a button on it, calling in a fighter jet which he hops into the cockpit and takes control of. As Patrick tries to run, SpongeBob has two missiles from the fire jet chase him. Civilians on the beach begin to flee in terror. Patrick deploys a surface to air missile launcher from underneath the ground. He has it fire its eight loaded missiles at SpongeBob, destroying the two missiles that were chasing Patrick in the process. SpongeBob takes evasive maneuvers and manages to get them to fly into Patrick's fortress, completely destroying it. Patrick in a final act of retaliation uses his airship to blow up SpongeBob's fortress. SpongeBob is extremely enraged by this, and putting all sensible options aside, he flies his fighter jet into Patrick's robot head airship, destroying both aircrafts and hurting Patrick and himself.
SpongeBob and Patrick are lying wounded on the beach, apologizing to each other for trying to destroy the other. The life guard shows up and furiously points out the mess of debris and destruction left by the fight as the two see they went too far. The lifeguard demands they clean up after handing them brooms. They do as he says, tidying the beach up to its original condition but soon begin to compete with each other over who could do so faster as dusk approaches.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Wahini Wobble - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card]
‣ Chief Taravana - Kapono Beamer [opening]
‣ Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob and Patrick get on the bus]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill [SpongeBob and Patrick get kicked off the bus]
‣ Tales from the Swamp (a) - Ron Goodwin [SpongeBob and Patrick crying]
‣ Vibe Sting - Nicolas Carr [volleyball]
‣ Unknown Track 5 - "Look, Patrick, we made it!"
‣ Gator - Steve Belfer ["I can assure you that was not cool."]
‣ On the Beach - Kapono Beamer [SpongeBob and Patrick making sand castles]
‣ Steel Sting - Jeremy Wakefield [sand money]
‣ Dunces and Dragons - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony ["And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side."]
‣ Noodly Shenanigans - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Patrick destroys SpongeBob's sand castle]
‣ Trumpet Call 1 - Sam Fonteyn [SpongeBob rebuilds it]
‣ Noodly Shenanigans - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Patrick building a sand castle]
‣ ? ["Let's see SpongeBob destroy this castle!"]
‣ Wargames Linking Section (f) - Keith Mansfield [SpongeBob building a wall]
‣ To Death or Glory - Laurie Johnson [SpongeBob destroys part of Patrick's castle]
‣ Steel Sting (q) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Okay, Patrick, I can accept that."]
‣ Conflict - Richard Hill [SpongeBob building a huge castle]
‣ Fanfare of Rome - David Farnon [non-aggression treaty]
‣ Steel Licks (b) - Jeremy Wakefield ["What are you doing?!"]
‣ Wargames Linking Section (f) - Keith Mansfield [Patrick builds an army out of sand]
‣ Floating Fortress A - Gregor F. Narholz [SpongeBob destroys it]
‣ Unknown Track 76 - SpongeBob's army
‣ Unknown Track 26 - Nicolas Carr [rock guitar stings]
‣ Unknown Track 76 - Patrick hides from SpongeBob's army/SpongeBob's army run off/Ball of sand destroys SpongeBob's army
‣ Wargames Linking Section (h) - Keith Mansfield [Patrick laughs]
‣ No Fear A - Udi Harpaz ["Uh-huh... mm-hmm. Well put, general."]
‣ Wargames Link (d) - Keith Mansfield [SpongeBob builds tank out of sand]
‣ Killer on the Run A - Gregor F. Narholz [giant robot]
‣ Fates [#62] - Gregor F. Narholz ["Patrick! Are you okay?!"]
‣ Rescue - Cecil Milner ["Will you be?!"]
‣ Steel Sting (b) - Jeremy Wakefield [sand parachute]
‣ Battle at Sea - Johnny Pearson [sand missiles]
‣ Steel Licks (d) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob and Patrick get up off the ground]
‣ Regal March - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [SpongeBob's speech]
‣ Wahini Wobble - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [ending]
- This episode is available on the Triton's Revenge, Season 6 Volume 2, Complete Sixth Season, and Next 100 Episodes DVDs.
- This was the first episode to premiere during Nickelodeon's "The Bob Squad."
- This is the third episode where SpongeBob and Patrick compete against each other. The first is "The Fry Cook Games" and the second is "The Battle of Bikini Bottom."
- This episode takes place 4 years before Jailbreak! And 9 years before Moving Bubble Bass.
- This episode mainly takes place in Goo Lagoon. Out of 11 minutes, the first minute and 30 seconds of the episode takes place at Patrick's house and inside a bus.
- There are two online games based on this episode named Sand Wars and Sand Castle Hassle.
- When SpongeBob and Patrick are calling the Frisbee "Small plastic disc that you throw," this is joking at the fact that the name "Frisbee" is copyrighted.
- However, the term "Frisbee" is said by SpongeBob in "Ripped Pants."
- A sand dollar also appears in the video game Revenge of the Flying Dutchman.
- SpongeBob (Sir SpongeBob) and Patrick (Sir Patrick) use cannons instead of rifles, machine guns, SMG's, sniper rifles, rocket launchers, armored vehicles (except Sir SpongeBob, who is using the British Crusader tank), AA and AT guns and aircraft (except Sir SpongeBob, who is using the jet plane).
- The general that SpongeBob makes is a human rather than a fish.
- Things that SpongeBob and Patrick make with the sand in chronological order:
- Castles (SpongeBob and Patrick)
- Sand wall (SpongeBob)
- Hammer/Mallet (Patrick)
- Telescope (SpongeBob)
- Trumpet (SpongeBob)
- Treaty to end all hostilities between our (their) two kingdoms (SpongeBob)
- Feather pen (SpongeBob)
- Bow and arrow (Patrick)
- Large sand cavalry army (Patrick)
- Catapult and hatchet (SpongeBob)
- Trumpet (SpongeBob)
- Sand army (SpongeBob, made up of a bull, a rock star, a cowboy, a knight with a mace, and a warrior with a mohawk)
- Cannon (Patrick)
- Heat-seeking sand cannonball (Patrick)
- Situation room (SpongeBob)
- General (SpongeBob)
- Large tank (SpongeBob)
- Large robot (Patrick)
- Parachute (SpongeBob)
- Fighter jet (SpongeBob)
- Missiles (SpongeBob and Patrick)
- Sand "nuke" (destroyed both SpongeBob's and Patrick's castles)
- This episode points out SpongeBob's inconsistent driving habits; he is horrible when driving a boatmobile, but beyond excellent when driving anything else.
- SpongeBob quotes the saying, "All is fair in love and war," which has been parodied a lot in popular culture.
- The war-plane that SpongeBob flies resembles the real world F-16 fighter jet. The only contradictory occurrence is that F-16s cannot hover like his briefly did, but the newer F-35B Lightning IIs as well as older AV-8B Harriers have the technology making them able to do so.
- When SpongeBob rams his entire war-plane at Patrick's head rocket, this is a military strategy known as kamikaze, where someone will deal severe damage to their enemy at the cost of their own life. This was heavily employed by the Japanese against the United States of America during World War II.
- This episode is a parody of Crusades and World War II.
- When SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off the bus beside road and SpongeBob says, "No one is ever going to find us out here!," the road is gone.
- While SpongeBob draws the line and then builds his wall, the line is gone when he tells Patrick's base is on the line, when the line suddenly vanishes.
- When Patrick smashes SpongeBob's second castle, there is a wall around it, but when SpongeBob goes back to square one again, the wall is gone.
- When SpongeBob sends his troops to attack Patrick's castle, a sand bull can be seen running out of SpongeBob's castle with the rest of his troops, but it disappears when they arrive to storm Patrick. However, when SpongeBob's troops retreat from Patrick's cannonball, the bull is again seen running back into his castle.