- Donna (normal; blue)
- Nathiel Waters (cameo)
- Peterson Nat Tucker
- Squilliam Fancyson
- Squidward Tentacles
- Frankie Billy (first name revealed)
- Other crowd members
- Music school headmistress (debut)
- Skywriter (debut)
- Abigail Marge
- Debbie Rechid
- Harold Bill Reginald Scott
- Patrick Star
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Margaret SquarePants (mentioned)
- Bob (orange)
- Officer John Slugfish
- Officer Rob Johnson
Squidward is disdainfully watching Squilliam play his clarinet at a concert. When Squilliam finishes, Squidward leaves. As Squidward walks out of the recital hall, a music school headmistress mistakes him for Squilliam. Although Squidward tells her he is not Squilliam, she ignores him and offers him a job to teach a college music class. Too tempted by the offer to correct her again, Squidward accepts the job.Later, he comes to the music class wearing a wig, posing as Squilliam. He prepares his desk, and a kid asks him if he is going to write his name on the board "like most professors do." Annoyed, Squidward tells the kid to write his name on the board. Shortly after that, Squidward discovers that SpongeBob and Patrick are in the music class he is teaching, which annoys him even more. SpongeBob and Patrick are then told that they are allowed to stay just as long as they behave themselves and keep quiet about Squidward's real name. Squidward starts teaching, but is interrupted by SpongeBob's laughter. When asked about it, SpongeBob claims that Patrick was tickling his foot, but shortly after he claims that he was tickling his own foot. In order to avoid any more distractions, Squidward moves SpongeBob away from Patrick, but he keeps on laughing anyway. When SpongeBob is told to stop tickling his foot, Patrick claims that it really was him that time, much to Squidward's surprise.
Squidward starts teaching about musical scales by drawing lines on the chalkboard. Patrick then explains how they remind him of a railroad track he saw at a railroad convention last week, where he bought himself a conductor's hat. Soon after, he starts riding a mini train, only to get trapped in the trash can, though he comes back inside a minute later.
Then, Squidward starts teaching the class about metronomes, much to the interest of SpongeBob and Patrick. They start making a ticking noise and a news reporter suddenly comes in, wanting to do an interview with "Squilliam Fancyson," although he is soon more interested in SpongeBob and Patrick and how they are in a trance. Squidward then angrily kicks him out after talking about possible paranormal activity. SpongeBob and Patrick stop ticking and exit their trance when the bell rings. They forget where they are and start calling Squidward by his real name, which upsets the rest of the class, causing them to leave. Squidward desperately blocks the door with his body to no avail, as the police come in along with the music headmistress and Squilliam Fancyson himself. The music headmistress mockingly points out how easy it is to distinguish the two. After noticing that Squidward does not have a unibrow, he is quickly arrested for "impersonating a genius," leaving SpongeBob and Patrick alone with the metronome ticking. Soon after, they are in a trance again, imitating the metronome as the episode ends.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ ? - Nicolas Carr, Steve Marston [Exterior of recital hall]
‣ Dancing in Dreamland (a) - Ron Goodwin ["Thank you, thank you."]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill ["All right, I've had enough."]
‣ Witty Fellow - Gerhard Trede [Squidward mistaken for Squilliam/"Well, good evening, Professor Squilliam."]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [Exterior of prestigious music college]
‣ Light Conversation Harpsichord - Ron Wasserman [Squidward enters wearing a wig]
‣ Wooden Bear - Gil Flat, Tony Tape, Florian Voelxen [Class begins]
‣ Goofy Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob and Patrick appear]
‣ Unknown Hawaiian Sting (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob's muscular legs]
‣ Light Conversation Harpsichord - Ron Wasserman [Transition to next scene/SpongeBob interrupting Squidward/"SpongeBob, do you mind?! There are other people here besides you, you know. And I don't think they appreciate you depriving them of my wisdom!"]
‣ Steel Sting (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob tickling himself]
‣ Light Conversation Harpsichord - Ron Wasserman [Desks arranged in one row]
‣ Steel Link (b) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob interrupts again]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Squidward looks shocked]
‣ Spongefoolery - Nicolas Carr, Steve Marston [Squidward writing on the chalkboard]
‣ Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick's locomotive]
‣ Steel Licks (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [Taking out the trash]
‣ Light Conversation Harpsichord - Ron Wasserman ["Where were... we?"]
‣ Steel Sting - Jeremy Wakefield [Metronome]
‣ Mists of Illusion - Gilbert Vinter [SpongeBob and Patrick hypnotized by the metronome]
‣ Dave Allen at Large - Alan Hawkshaw [News reporter appears]
‣ Tomfoolery - David Snell ["Please ignore them."]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr [They snap out of it]
‣ Goofy Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony ["You want to know what happened?"]
‣ Drama Link (g) - Hubert Clifford ["No! You're not going anywhere!"]
‣ Steel Licks (b) - Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward gets hit by the door]
‣ 12th Street Rag 3 - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward arrested]
- The episode is available on the Viking-Sized Adventures, Season 6 Volume 2, Complete Sixth Season, and Next 100 Episodes DVDs.
- Although this episode premiered in 2009, it was made in 2008 according to the credits.
- At the beginning, Squidward is wearing the same sweater that he wore in "Snowball Effect."
- The Bikini Bottom Prestigious Music College head matron speaks with an off-Indian accent, and her friend speaks with an off-English accent.
- The plot of this episode is somewhat similar to the plot of "Artist Unknown." This time, SpongeBob is not the only student in his class, as Patrick and some other fish appear as well.
- Patrick claims he wanted to learn how to play an instrument, but he already knows how to play an instrument, which is the drums.
- The metronome that SpongeBob and Patrick used went at 120 BPM.
- The real name for "impersonating someone" is called "identity theft."
- Both this episode and its sister episode, "Shuffleboarding," involve the law being broken in some sort of way.
- This is the second episode where the title card is written on a chalkboard. The first is "New Student Starfish."
- This is the second episode in which Squidward gets arrested. The first is "Good Ol' Whatshisname."
- This episode premiered two years after the premiere of "Driven to Tears," "Rule of Dumb," "The Pink Purloiner," "The Gift of Gum," "Rise and Shine," "Waiting," and "Sing a Song of Patrick."
- The title card shows in the bottom left corner that π=∞. This is technically correct as the numbers in π go on infinitely.
- The title card states that Pi is equal to infinity even if it is universally defined as 3.1415...
- Although it was established in older episodes — as well in an interview with Rodger Bumpass — that Squidward's middle initial is J, in this episode, Squidward says it is Q.
- It is unknown which one is correct.
- On the first day of class, Squidward and his students greet each other by saying good evening, but it is actually morning.
- When Patrick rides his locomotive into the trash can, Squidward exits the building and places the can outside. Later, when both the police and the news crew come into Squidward's classroom, they enter the same door that Squidward took to go outside, but now it leads to a hallway.
- SpongeBob laughing when he tickles himself and SpongeBob and Patrick saying "Tick" when the metronome is ticking.