Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

"Professor Squidward" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season 6. In this episode, Squidward poses as Squilliam to teach a music class.



In the beginning of the episode, Squidward is disdainfully watching Squilliam play his clarinet at a concert. When Squilliam finishes, Squidward leaves. As Squidward walks out of the recital hall, a music school headmistress mistakes him for Squilliam. Although Squidward tells her he is not Squilliam, she ignores him and offers him a job to teach a college music class. Too tempted by the offer to correct her again, Squidward accepts the job.

Squidward teaching a music class.

Later, he comes to the music class wearing a wig, posing as Squilliam. He prepares his desk, and a kid asks him if he is going to write his name on the board "like most professors do." Annoyed, Squidward tells the kid to write his name on the board. Shortly after that, Squidward discovers that SpongeBob and Patrick are in the music class he is teaching, which annoys him even more. SpongeBob and Patrick are then told that they are allowed to stay just as long as they behave themselves and keep quiet about Squidward's real name. Squidward starts teaching, but is interrupted by SpongeBob's laughter. When asked about it, SpongeBob claims that Patrick was tickling his foot, but shortly after, he claims that he was tickling his own foot. In order to avoid any more distractions, Squidward moves SpongeBob away from Patrick, but he keeps on laughing anyway. When SpongeBob is told to stop tickling his foot, Patrick claims that it really was him that time, much to Squidward's surprise.

Patrick riding a steam train.

Squidward starts teaching about musical scales by drawing lines on the chalkboard. Patrick then explains how they remind him of a railroad track he saw at a railroad convention last week, where he bought himself a conductor's hat. Soon after, he starts riding a mini train, only to get trapped in the trash can, though he comes back inside a minute later.

Then, Squidward starts teaching the class about metronomes, much to the interest of SpongeBob and Patrick. They start making a ticking noise and a news reporter suddenly comes in, wanting to do an interview with "Squilliam Fancyson," although he is soon more interested in SpongeBob and Patrick and how they are in a trance. Squidward then angrily kicks him out after talking about possible paranormal activity. SpongeBob and Patrick stop ticking and exit their trance when the bell rings. They forget where they are and start calling Squidward by his real name, which upsets the rest of the class, causing them to leave. Squidward desperately blocks the door with his body to no avail, as the police come in along with the music headmistress and Squilliam Fancyson himself. The music headmistress mockingly points out how easy it is to distinguish the two. After noticing that Squidward does not have a unibrow, he is quickly arrested for "impersonating a genius," leaving SpongeBob and Patrick alone with the metronome ticking. Soon after, they are in a trance again, imitating the metronome, as the episode ends.

Running gags

  • SpongeBob laughing when he tickles himself.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick saying "Tick" when the metronome is ticking.



 ) Production music
 ) Original music
 ) SpongeBob music

  Cream Pie - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card.]
  Choir Boys 4 - Nicolas Carr, Steve Marston [Exterior of the recital hall.]
  Dancing In Dreamland (A) - Ron Goodwin ["Thank you, thank you."]
  Hawaiian Link (B) - Richard Myhill ["All right, I've had enough."]
  Witty Fellow - Gerhard Trede [Squidward is mistaken for Squilliam.]
  Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [Exterior of prestigious music college.]
  Harpsichord Upper Crust - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman [Squidward enters wearing a wig.]
  Wooden Bear - Gil Flat, Tony Tape, Florian Voelxen [Class begins.]
  Goofy Conversation 2 - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob and Patrick appear.]
  Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [SpongeBob's muscular legs.]
  Harpsichord Scene Transition - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman [Transition to next scene.]
  Harpsichord Fooling Around - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman [SpongeBob laughs.]
  Harpsichord Sneaky Silly - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman [SpongeBob interrupting Squidward.]
  Harpsichord Fooling Around - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman ["SpongeBob, do you mind?!"]
  Harpsichord Tick Tock Walk - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman ["You expect me to believe he was tickling himself?"]
  Steel Licks 11 - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob tickling himself.]
  Harpsichord Scene Transition 2 - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman [Desks arranged in one row.]
  Steel Licks 2 - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob interrupts again.]
  Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Squidward looks shocked.]
  Spongefoolery - Nicolas Carr, Steve Marston [Squidward writing on the chalkboard.]
  Skipping to School - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick's locomotive.]
  Steel Licks 9 - Jeremy Wakefield [Taking out the trash.]
  Harpsichord Fooling Around - Nicolas Carr, Ron Wasserman ["Where were... we?"]
  Steel Licks 4 - Jeremy Wakefield [Metronome.]
  Mists Of Illusion - Gilbert Vinter [SpongeBob and Patrick hypnotized by the metronome.]
  Dave Allen At Large - Alan Hawkshaw [News reporter appears.]
  Tomfoolery - David Snell ["Please ignore them."]
  Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr [They snap out of it.]
  Goofy Conversation 2 - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony ["You want to know what happened?"]
  Drama Link (G) - Hubert Clifford ["No! You're not going anywhere!"]
  Steel Licks 3 - Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward gets hit by the door.]
  12th Street Rag - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward arrested.]




  • The episode is part of the first three episodes of a premiere event called the "SpongeBob Triple Play."
  • In the beginning, Squidward is wearing the same sweater that he wore in "Snowball Effect."
  • The Bikini Bottom Prestigious Music College head matron speaks with an off-Indian accent, and her friend speaks with an off-English accent.
  • The plot of this episode is somewhat similar to the plot of "Artist Unknown." This time, SpongeBob is not the only student in Squidward's class, as Patrick and some other fish appear in his class as well.
  • Patrick claims he wanted to learn how to play an instrument, but he already knows how to play an instrument, which is the drums.
  • The metronome that SpongeBob and Patrick used went at 120 BPM.
  • The real name for "impersonating someone" is called "identity theft."
  • Both this episode and its sister episode, "Shuffleboarding," involve the law being broken in some sort of way.
  • This is the second episode where the title card is written on a chalkboard. The first was "New Student Starfish."
    • Also, both of these episodes involve school and education.
  • This is the second episode where Squidward gets arrested. The first was "Good Ol' Whatshisname."
  • This is the second episode to show or mention hypnosis. The first was "Fear of a Krabby Patty."
  • In Bahasa Indonesia version, the first half scene of the school where Squidward starts the class until SpongeBob and Patrick enter the classroom was omitted due to time constraints.
  • This is the last episode to play "Mists Of Illusion".

Cultural references

  • After being "hypnotized" by the metronome, SpongeBob and Patrick say "My whole life has been pointed in one direction. I see that now. There's never been any choice for me." This is a reference to the 1976 film Taxi Driver, in which the protagonist says the same line.


Incidental F9's missing dress.

  • Although it was established in the audio commentary for "Karate Choppers" and The Absorbing Tale Behind The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie that Squidward's middle initial is J, in this episode, Squidward says it is Q.
    • It is unknown which one is correct.
  • When Fred says "Isn't it grand?" Incidental F9's dress is missing.
  • On the first day of class, Squidward and his students greet each other by saying good evening, but it is actually morning.
  • When Patrick rides his locomotive into the trash can, Squidward exits the building and places the can outside. Later, when both the police and the news crew come into Squidward's classroom, they enter the same door that Squidward took to go outside, but now it leads to a hallway.