- [Title cards appear; "BBC Earth and Nickelodeon presents: SpongeBob SquarePants Awards]
- SpongeBob: [clears his throat] Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the most important living creatures on the planet. [makes different faces at a montage of live-action living animals before attempting to give the trophy as Plankton interrupts]
- Plankton: Are you kidding me?! [mentioning a whale] That gigantic blowhard? "Ooh, look at me! I've got a nose on the top of my head." If anyone should be getting that prize, it's us. [SpongeBob looks for Plankton] Down here, weak-minded sponge! [SpongeBob uses a giant magnifying glass to look at Plankton perfectly. Plankton talks about what is happening in the live-action montage behind him] If you're looking for the most important living creatures on the planet, well, here we are: plankton! [static appears behind him]
- SpongeBob: Prove it.
- Plankton: [while a live-action volcano appears behind him] Do you doubt me: Sheldon J. Plankton? [scene returns back to the montage as Plankton mentions a seal] Okay, take Cousin Marvin there. He may look like a dumb, tiny plant, and he is, but dumb Marvin and his planktonic plant friends make up nearly half the oxygen you're breathing right now. And you thought rainforests were doing all the work. You love all this big stuff, don't you? That's why you watch all the fancy TV shows. Ooh, look at the cute penguins! They're just like us. [imitates penguin waddle before talking to a dolphin] Yeah, laugh it up, Flippy, because none of that stuff would exist without plankton, like me. I'm a zooplankton, a tiny animal just like all these guys. [talks to a plankton before it swims] Hi, Mom! Mom! So, my friends and I, we eat the dumb Marvins. Then, small fish eat us, bigger animals eat them all the way up the food chain. Even the blue whale, the biggest animal that's ever lived, usually likes nothing more than a great mouthful of stupid krill. What this means is no plankton, no sea life, no Krabby Patties, no sushi, no SpongeBob, that wouldn't be bad, no nothing! Do we feel important to you now: the food you eat, the air you breathe? Come on, people! [a fanfare plays] All right! Hold on, I'm not finished. Crude oil, ancient dead plankton buried in the rocks. You'd be shrimped without that, right? Without all the driving, and the flying, and the electricity. [mentioning the 3-D globe] Ooh, look! You can see us from space. We win, we win! [laughs evilly]
- SpongeBob: [off-screen] Plankton. A thank you would be nice.
- French Narrator: [while a copyright screen is being shown] This message is brought to you by Nickelodeon and BBC Earth and Nickelodeon's Get Dirty.
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