This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Plankton's Diary short "Plankton's Diary: Plankton's Evil Plan," which aired on June 9, 2013.

  • ["My Evil Genius Video Diary by Sheldon J. Plankton" appears in black letters on a white background.]
  • Plankton: My evil genius video diary by Sheldon J. Plankton. [Plankton appears in a video tape on a computer screen.] Greetings. It is I, Plankton! [The screen fuzzes to another part] I'm sorry. I'm not myself today. [The screen fuzzes to another part] It's just the world knows me as an evil villain...
  • [The scene cuts to a clip of Dead Eye Plankton.]
  • Dead Eye Plankton: That's me, Dead Eye Plankton.
  • [The scene cuts back to Plankton.]
  • Plankton: ...bent on destroying the Krusty Krab and stealing the Krabby Patty formula... [The scene cuts to Plankton on a rocket holding the secret formula in the bottle.] I've got your formula. [Plankton laughs.] Yeeha! [The scene cuts back to Plankton on the video.] ...but I'm so much more than that. Does anyone care about my hopes? My dreams? My secret passion for song? [The screen fuzzes to another part] That's right. I may have a mind of an evil genius, but I also have the voice of an angel. [Plankton coughs] [Attempting to sing] Me. Me. Me. [A building is shown. The windows crack.] Me.
  • [Mrs. Puff, Frank the Red Shirt Wearing Fish, Frank the Lifeguard, and Frankie Billy appear in a classroom at Mrs. Puff's boating school. The glass breaks. The scene cuts to Bill and Nazz-Mimi sunbathing at Goo Lagoon. They sit up.]
  • Bill: Did you hear that?
  • Nazz-Mimi: How could I not?
  • [The scene cuts back to Plankton.]
  • Plankton: Can your normal super villain do that? I don't think so! [The screen fuzzes to another part] Alas, the world is not ready for a talent like mine, but I'll get there some day. [The screen fuzzes to another part] You better watch your back, Justin Bottomfeeder. [The screen fuzzes to another part] [Singing poorly] "N" is for anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep- blue- seaaaaaaaaa. [Talking] That's the stuff! You haven't heard the last of me!
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