Pineapple RV/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Pineapple RV" from season 12, which aired on July 17, 2020.

[The episode begins with a morning at Conch Street. Squidward is coming out of his house with a bunch of stuff.]
Squidward: [sighs] One glorious week [pulls out his keys] without those two...
[Suddenly, SpongeBob and Patrick appear under the RV.]
SpongeBob: Hey!
[Squidward steps on SpongeBob and Patrick and twirls until he, SpongeBob, and Patrick fly into the air.]
Squidward: ...Idiots!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hi, Squidward!
[SpongeBob and Patrick land safely on the ground, but Squidward injures himself and his stuff falls on him. SpongeBob walks towards Squidward.]
SpongeBob: Hold on, Squidward! [SpongeBob pulls Squidward out by grabbing his head. Eventually, SpongeBob manages to get Squidward, then SpongeBob gets tangled on Squidward's tentacles. Patrick walks to SpongeBob and Squidward as he pulls one of Squidward's tentacles to get SpongeBob out.] You should be more careful.
Patrick: Tisk, tisk, tisk!
Squidward: Would you two go away and stop ruining my vacation?!
SpongeBob: Vacation? Gee, I didn't think Mr. Krabs gave us any vacations.
[Squidward pushes SpongeBob and Patrick away from him.]
Squidward: I found someone to cover for me.
[We cut to the inside of the Krusty Krab where Old Man Walker is at register boat for taking Squidward's side.]
Old Man Walker: One Krabby Patty coming up, sir.
[Old Man Walker tries to work the cash register. He presses the button that opens and sends himself straight through the window to the kitchen. Cut back at Conch Street where Squidward is putting his case and sack on the top of his RV.]
SpongeBob: Where are you going on your vacation, Squidward?
Squidward: If you must know, I'm going to Porpoise Peak to bask in the melodious sounds of the Warbling Water Lily. [A cloud appears and shows the Warbling Water Lily. Imagination SpongeBob and Patrick appear and whiteness the Warbling Water Lily. A clock appears in the sky and the big hand points at the 500.] Which only blooms once every five hundred years. [The cloud pops and Imagination SpongeBob and Patrick come out small. Squidward grabs them.] And I'm going alone. [He smacks the mini SpongeBob and Patrick together and the mini Patrick runs up to SpongeBob and Patrick as Patrick puts the mini Patrick in his pocket.]
SpongeBob: I know! [quickly runs back with a different outfit and a case] Patrick and I will come along, and we can all be alone together.
Squidward: Oh, no, you're not messing up my vacation. [picks up SpongeBob's case and slams it on him] Now beat it! If I don't get moving, I'm gonna miss it. [walks to get himself packed and ready]
SpongeBob: [pops out of the case with Squidward's shirt on] Oh, we'll help you pack.
Squidward: No way, you idiots will just break... [But SpongeBob and Patrick didn't break anything. They got Squidward's stuff packed.] ...everything? [impressed] Oh.
Patrick: Hold it! [steps of the RV and falls] We forgot to pack this. [points at the ramp]
[Patrick uses his mouth to pull the ramp off of the RV. SpongeBob hops off the RV and helps Patrick to pull the ramp off. They both pull it off until it hits Patrick's face. Patrick then laughs.]
Squidward: What? No, don't! Stop!
[Suddenly, the RV drives off. Squidward screams in terror as he watches his RV drive off in the distance. He runs off after it and pushes SpongeBob and Patrick over. Squidward then stops and watches the RV drive off. SpongeBob and Patrick shows up and watch it too. The RV drives off though traffic, then it hits a sign that says "Bridge Out". The RV then drives through two rings of fire and passes by an octopus' arm. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward worry that the RV would crash until it finally stops.]
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Phew.
[But as soon as they are relieved that the RV stopped, an anchor smashes the RV, causing it to explode. Squidward becomes utter shocked that his RV is destroyed thanks to SpongeBob and Patrick. Now he can't see the warbling water lily.]
Patrick: You could buff that out.
[Squidward gets angry and ink splatters out of his head.]
Squidward: [to Patrick] How could?!... [to SpongeBob] Why would?!... [stutters] I can't believe it! [Squidward has angered out words until he turns sad. A tire is on fire and starts wheeling towards SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward.] I'll never see the warbling water-lily bloom now.
[Squidward then walks to his house and bangs his head on the door to open it. Squidward then enters his house all sad and closes his door, now that his chances of seeing the warbling water lily are shattered. SpongeBob and Patrick feel ashamed of themselves of what they have done: They ruined Squidward's hopes of seeing the warbling water lily. SpongeBob and Patrick begin to feel bad for Squidward as he walks to his house.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh. Poor Squidward.
SpongeBob: [gets an idea] Oh! I have an idea.
Patrick: Really? What's that like?
[Inside Squidward's bedroom, Squidward is getting ready for bed. He is still angry at SpongeBob and Patrick for ruining his hopes on seeing the warbling water lily.]
Squidward: Little monsters. They oughta be locked up. Throw away the key and then... [snores] Locked up and throw them away. [Squidward dreams that he is at Porpoise Peak seeing the warbling water lily. Squidward drives his RV, then sings and dances to two warbling water lilies. He smells them until the warbling water lilies open and reveals to be SpongeBob and Patrick. They start laughing, a purple shadow background shows. Squidward wakes up from his sleep and screams in horror. He is now in SpongeBob's house.] Oh, oh, phew. It was only a nightmare. [The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward looks at SpongeBob and screams, he then looks at Patrick then screams as well. SpongeBob and Patrick both scream as Squidward screams. Squidward grabs their mouths.]
SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward.
Squidward: [pulls them over] Would you get out of my bedroom?!
SpongeBob: [laughs] We're not in your bedroom, silly.
[Squidward notices his bed is in SpongeBob's living room. He quickly jumps off of his bed.]
Squidward: What? How did I get here?
SpongeBob: Patrick and I mo-
Squidward: [covers SpongeBob's mouth] Actually, I don't care. [leaves to get out of SpongeBob's house] Goodbye, SpongeB- [Just as Squidward was about to leave, he falls out of SpongeBob's door, which his house is now an RV. Squidward quickly gets back inside SpongeBob's house, he then notices two-passenger seats and a steering wheel. Squidward notices SpongeBob's house is an RV.] SpongeBob, why is your house... [screaming] driving on the road?!
Patrick: Because we turned it into an RV!
SpongeBob: We didn't want you to miss that flower blooming.
Squidward: Okay. Hold on. Who's driving?
Patrick: It's on Autosnail.
[Gary is shown driving and is being distracted by his toy.]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Come on, let's get breakfast. [takes Squidward's hand]
[Bubble transition to the kitchen where Patrick and Squidward are sitting. Patrick is laughing while he has a knife and fork in his hand. SpongeBob tosses three coffee mugs, three plates, and coffee on the table. He then walks to the table with two stacks of pancakes. Squidward smells them.]
Squidward: Hey, this looks pretty good.
[All of a sudden, unknowing to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, the RV drives to a wobbly damaged bridge. Squidward is about to eat his pancakes, but the plates slide off due to the RV on the bridge. Squidward tries to eat his pancakes again but misses again. The RV wobbles onto the bridge. Finally, Squidward reaches his pancakes with his fork. Squidward is about to eat his pancakes, but the RV drives into a bump on the bridge. Squidward accidentally puts the pancakes in his mouth and chokes. He then spits the pancakes out in front of Patrick.]
Patrick: [points at the pancakes] Are you gonna eat that?
[The RV is off the bridge, which causes it to break. Gary is shown tired for driving so much.]
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, let's give Gary a break.
Patrick: Disengaging Autosnail! [presses a button to give the toy to Gary]
[Gary starts chewing on his toy while Patrick takes his place.]
Gary: [chewing on his toy] Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Patrick: Let's see what this pineapple can do! [Patrick presses on the breaks and drives faster, which it follows him running over a "Road Closed" sign and drives to the mountain. Squidward notices how high they are and sees a bunch of boats all damaged.] On the road!
Squidward: [gulps] We gotta get off this road!
Patrick: No problem.
[Patrick then press a button which activates rocket boosters from the back of the RV. He drives off very fast on five roads. Patrick is driving so fast it sends Squidward off his seat and slams on the wall. He then notices SpongeBob next to him.]
SpongeBob: Oh! Hi, Squidward.
Squidward: [screams] I'm not here! This isn't happening!
[Suddenly, the RV drives on the steepest hill and up a ramp. It then flies in mid-air. Inside the RV, Squidward floating in mid-air as the RV is flying. Squidward grabs onto a door and accidentally opens it. A bunch of SpongeBob's stuff comes out of his door. Squidward misses it, but gets hit by a safe. SpongeBob is watching TV, which is floating along with his couch and chair. Gary is still chewing on his toy while floating as well. Patrick begins to float too. The RV lands on the road which they arrive at Porpoise Peak. Squidward hits through the sign. SpongeBob exits out of his house.]
SpongeBob: [laughs cheerfully] We're here!
Squidward: [shakes his head] Huh? [Squidward gasps as he sees the warbling water lily.] The warbling water lily! [pulls out his camera and runs towards the flower] Oh, so beautiful! And I have it all to my... [Suddenly, a group of people show up to see the flower and start taking pictures.] Ow! My back! [Squidward moves a few people out of his way, so he can take a picture of the flower, but it suddenly disappears.] Huh? Where is it?
[Patrick comes up with the warbling water lily.]
Patrick: Is this that babbling buttercup you were looking for?
[Patrick gives Squidward the flower as everyone looks in surprise. The flower then sprouts out, a light glows right before Squidward's eyes and starts playing music. But all of a sudden, the flower starts to dry out. Everyone gasps in complete shocked. Squidward is shocked to see that the flower as dried out as well. Everyone gets angry at Squidward and starts attacking him. SpongeBob walks towards the flower and notices how dry out it is. The fishes take Squidward and bury him into the ground and leave. Monroe comes up with a watering can and waters Squidward out of the ground like a flower. SpongeBob and Patrick come up to Squidward and SpongeBob smell his head. Squidward comes out and gets rid of the dirt.]
Squidward: Well, that's one more vacation down the drain. May as well go home.
SpongeBob: [laughs] Well, we got a long drive ahead of us. [pulls toilet paper out of his pore] We better go before go if you know what I mean-o.
Patrick: [laughs] Not really.
SpongeBob: Now, Squidward, don't leave without us. [laughs and leaves]
Squidward: [gets an idea] Huh? Of course not! Only a monster would leave you behind. [Squidward grins evilly and eventually, he leaves them behind, driving the RV.] So I'm a monster. [whistles] They'll be fine. Alone. [begins to sweat] On top of a mountain. In the middle of nowhere. [But Squidward stops the RV, realizing that he can't leave SpongeBob and Patrick behind.] D'oh, I can't do it!
[Squidward reverses back to get SpongeBob and Patrick. We cut back to the woods where SpongeBob and Patrick are finished using the bathroom. Patrick has toilet paper all over him.]
SpongeBob: Hey, you're really getting the hang of using toilet paper, Patrick.
Patrick: And next week, I'm starting on two-ply.
SpongeBob: I'll get another roll from the RV. [SpongeBob walks towards to the RV, but to find that it's gone, due to Squidward leaving them behind.] Hey, where is the RV?
Patrick: [points] Well, maybe those guys have seen it. Hey, hey! Have you seen our pineapple?
[A group of sea bears, like the ones from "The Camping Episode," show up and growls at Patrick. We cut back to Squidward still driving the RV to get SpongeBob and Patrick. He then parks the RV and looks for SpongeBob and Patrick. All of a sudden, SpongeBob and Patrick’s screams are heard.]
Squidward: Oh no, I'm too late! [Squidward runs to a cave and karate chops one of the sea bears.] Don't you dare eat those morons!
[But instead of hearing screaming, SpongeBob and Patrick were laughing and tickling the sea bears.]
SpongeBob: Squidward, they weren't eating us.
Patrick: We were just having a tickle fight. [laughs]
SpongeBob: Sea bears love it when you tickle their bellies.
Patrick: [laughs] But they hate it when you karate chop their hineys.
Squidward: [realizing what he has done while the sea bears growl at him] Uh, tickle, tickle?
[The sea bears begin to attack and maul Squidward.]
SpongeBob: Squidward, they'll leave you alone if you play dead!
Patrick: [pulls out a tombstone that says "RIP Squidward" and throws it at Squidward] This will help! Catch!
[The tombstone hits Squidward's head while he is being mauled to death. The sea bears stop mauling Squidward and leaves.]
SpongeBob: Bye. Call me. You got my number. [Bubble transition to Conch Street where the RV bumps into Squidward's house and parks. SpongeBob kicks open the door.] Wow! Was that a fun road trip or was that a fun road trip? [Patrick comes out of the RV and spins in the air of excitement.]
Patrick: The funnerest!
[Squidward walks up out of the RV with bandages on him after being attacked by sea bears.]
Squidward: More like the worst road trip. My one chance to hear the warbling water lily, and you ruined it! [falls out of the RV]
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Are you sure about that, Squidward? [pulls out the flower] Ohh, poor thing just needs some love. [pours water into the pot and kisses it]
Squidward: [gasps] The warbling water lily! [The warbling water lily begins to play.] So beautiful. [pulls out his clarinet and plays]
SpongeBob: Oh, my ears! My ears! It hurts! It hurts! [SpongeBob breaks apart and Patrick's head explodes and screams.] We're so happy for you, Squidward!
[They run back into the RV to escape from the racket.]
Patrick: Engage Autosnail!
[The episode ends with SpongeBob and Patrick drive off as Squidward plays his clarinet with the warbling water lily.]

Pineapple RV/transcript

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