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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Merry Nickmas short "Patrick the Snowman," which aired on December 4, 2002.

Versions

Normal version

  • Nigel: It all started with the first snowfall of the year. [he slips the ice and falls down to the ground] Yah.
  • Carl: It's perfect!
  • Sheen Estevez: It's awesome!
  • Cindy Vortex: It's hideous.
  • Jimmy: What it needs is my latest invention: I call it "The Spoofinator 4000." Now let's fire it up. [puts hat on top of the snowman and it turns it into a real Patrick Star]
  • Patrick: Birthday happy.
  • Sheen Estevez: All right, he's alive.
  • Nigel: The children loved their new winter friend. And it wasn't long before they were spending all their time together.
  • [Montage]
  • Nigel: But it wasn't long before he out stayed his welcome. About a minute. Unfortunately the end of winter was a long way off. And the children had to come up with a plan.
  • Jimmy: First we'll fuse my photon nuclear resonator with Sheen's electronic Ultralord, thus creating a wormhole in the space time continuum and propelling him into the future.
  • Cindy Vortex: Or we could just melt him.
  • All: Nah.
  • Nigel: It was then that they decided to send that code creation into the distant future.
  • [Time Card: 70 Years Later]
  • Cindy Vortex: Nice Going Grandpa Genius!
  • Nigel: The End. Honestly now.

Version used in commercial breaks

  • Nigel: It all started with the first snowfall of the year. [he slips the ice and falls down to the ground] Yah.
  • Carl: It's perfect!
  • Sheen Estevez: It's awesome!
  • Cindy Vortex: It's hideous.
  • Jimmy: What it needs is my latest invention: I call it "The Spoofinator 4000." Now let's fire it up. [puts hat on top of the snowman and it turns it into a real Patrick Star]
  • Patrick: Birthday happy.
  • Cindy Vortex: [freaks out] It's alive!
  • All: Aah! [As the children started to screaming in fear, Patrick looks at the children (with Carl gets hits by Patrick with his arm), Patrick then runs away, as the kids stars to chasing him]
  • Nigel: The End. [looks at the children]
  • Jimmy: [holding a stick] Snowman, get those hands off! Run for your lives!
  • Sheen Estevez: You got somebody hit like my grandma. It does somebody chop my heart!
  • Carl: We bring it off!
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