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"Spon... Spo... Spo...!"

This SpongeBob SquarePants episode transcript is incomplete. You can help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by suggesting additions on the talk page.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Patchy's Playlist" from Season 12, which aired on November 30, 2019.

Original Airing (November 30, 2019 - December 7, 2019)

  • Patchy: "Ahoy mates, Patchy Pirate here! Yeah they locked me up after they caught me sneaking into the dress rehearsal of The SpongeBob Musical: Live on Stage! Oh, it's going to be the biggest special television event yet! I hope I can go!"
  • [A scene from "The SpongeBob Musical: Live on Stage!" plays with the cast singing Best Day Ever]
  • Ethan Slater (as SpongeBob): It's the best day ever!
  • Company: The best day ever!
  • [Transition to Patchy]
  • Patchy: "I can't wait for The SpongeBob Musical: Live on Stage! To celebrate, let's take a look back at the greatest songs on the history of SpongeBob!"
  • [Bubble transition to The Jellyfishing Song from "SpongeBob's Last Stand"]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick both breathe in deeply, throw off their goggles and nets, and then start to sing in silly fashion]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!♪
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!♪
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!♪
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪Jelly lelly lelly lelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!♪
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: ♪I go jellyfishin' in da mornin'♪
  • Patrick: [singing in calypso] ♪I jellyfish all de night!♪
  • SpongeBob: [singing in calypso] ♪Jellyfishing in da' afternoon,♪
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: [singing in calypso] ♪Jellyfishing make me feel all right!♪
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Jelly-lelly lelly-jelly jelly-lelly lelly-jelly!
  • Coral: [sings in deep opera voice] ♪Everybody singgggggggg♪
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: ♪Everyone sing along!♪
  • [Bubble transition to He's Flying from "The Sponge Who Could Fly"]
  • SpongeBob: Jellyfish Fields, here I come! [The top half of his pineapple opens up and he flies out of it]
  • Monroe: [points] Mom, look! It's the flying guy!
  • Mable: Wow, I guess he wasn't a lunatic after all.
  • SpongeBob: [flying over the town] ♪I'm flying. I'm flying!♪
  • Citizens: [Cap Fish pops up] ♪He's flying!♪ [Nat pops out the window] ♪He's flying!♪ [Miss Shell pops up] ♪He's really, really flying!♪ [Nancy opens her door; Tom pops out of the sewer, moving his fingers in rhythm]
  • SpongeBob: ♪They laughed, they scoffed, before I had liftoff.♪
  • Citizens: [Miss Shell stands next to Martha holding balloons; an aqua fish stands next to another older fish; Lenny and Vendor pass by] ♪But now he's flying.♪ [SpongeBob passes over them] ♪He's flying high in the sky.♪ [Nat drives by in a boat; another fish drives behind them; a couple other fish enter the scene]
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'd love to hang around to say I told you so.♪ [takes off] ♪But it's off to Jellyfish Fields I go!♪ [passes by a sign pointing in the direction of the Fields, making it bobble] ♪Roads and streets are not for me.♪ [passes over an intersection with a stoplight]
  • Mrs. Puff: ♪Help! Please help! My snail is up a tree. I've had her since I was a little girl.♪ [takes a deep breath] ♪But now it looks like the end of her world.♪ [the tree branch holding the snail snaps off] No!
  • SpongeBob: [catches the snail] Gotcha! [laughs; hands the snail to Mrs. Puff] Next time, try the elevator. [flies off]
  • Mrs. Puff: Thank you, Bird Man!
  • SpongeBob: [flies upward in a circle, leaving a swirling rainbow path behind him; flies up to a plane, in which Billy is sitting, among others] ♪I have never felt so free!♪ [Billy looks out the window at SpongeBob in bewilderment] ♪High in the sky is the place for me.♪ [flies away; Billy pulls down an oxygen mask and starts breathing heavily] ♪Helping friends from up above.♪ [SpongeBob flies onward some more, still leaving a rainbow path behind him; sprinkles drop down over a group of children; Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches one, then makes a face in disgust] ♪These are the things that I love!♪ [picks up a dime off the ceiling of a building and drops it in Mr. Krabs's hand] ♪I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.♪
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm rich!
  • [cuts to Patrick who stares in awe at a mime doing his shtick; SpongeBob swoops down and lifts him into the air]
  • SpongeBob: ♪And I'll save Patrick from this mime!♪
  • Patrick: Thanks, buddy!
  • SpongeBob: [flies over to a kelp bush] ♪Even Plankton needs some help, when he gets tangled in the ke-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-elllllllp!♪ [inside the bush, Plankton is struggling to untangle himself from a piece of kelp; SpongeBob lifts him up]
  • Plankton: Please put me down!
  • [Bubble transition to The F.U.N. Song from "F.U.N."]
  • SpongeBob: What is fun? Let me spell it for you. ♪F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere, anytime at all!♪
  • Clams: ♪Down here in the deep blue sea.♪
  • Plankton: ♪F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium... bombs! N is for no survivors, when you-♪
  • SpongeBob: Plankton! Those things aren't what fun is all about. Now, do it like this: ♪F is for friends who do stuff to-♪
  • Plankton: Never! That's completely idiotic!
  • SpongeBob: Here, let me help you. ♪F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me.♪ Try it!
  • Plankton: ♪N is for anywhere, anytime at all!♪
  • Clams: ♪Down here in the deep blue sea!♪
  • Plankton: Wait, I don't understand this, I feel all tingly inside. Should we stop?
  • SpongeBob: No! That's how you're supposed to feel!
  • Plankton: Well, I like it. Let's do it again!
  • SpongeBob: Okay!
  • SpongeBob and Plankton: ♪F is for frolic through all the flowers, U is for ukulele. N is nose-picking, chewing gum, and sand-licking, here with my best buddy. Hahahahahahahaha!♪
  • [At the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs is looking through a telescope at SpongeBob and Plankton]
  • Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, mutiny.
  • [Bubble transition to Sweet Victory from "Band Geeks"]
  • Squidward: [nervously] Okay, everybody. [Glances at Squilliam, who grins and bounces his unibrow] Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4...
  • [The band starts to play a wonderful intro. Squidward opens his eyes, shocked. SpongeBob begins singing.]
  • SpongeBob: [voice of David Glen Eisley] ♪The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closin' in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin.♪
  • SpongeBob: [voice of David Glen Eisley] ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,♪
  • [Squilliam faints and gets carried away by stretchers. Squidward waves a smug goodbye to him and runs to the middle of the stage.]
  • SpongeBob: [voice of David Glen Eisley] ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory...♪
  • [Squidward jumps up and the scene freezes. Bubble transition to Stadium Rave from "Jellyfish Jam"]
  • Patchy: "Bravo, bravo!"
  • [Bubble transition to The Road Song from "A SquarePants Family Vacation"]
  • Patrick: Road. Road. Road. Road.
  • SpongeBob: ♪When I'm on the road...♪
  • Margaret: ♪Looks like clear skies ahead!♪
  • SpongeBob: ♪When I'm on the road...♪
  • Harold: ♪Please stop touching my head.♪
  • Patrick: Road. Road. Road.
  • All: ♪Let's all sing the road song! Let's all sing along!♪
  • [Song ends abruptly when fire starts on top of car. Cuts to show car from the outside.]
  • SpongeBob: Um... anybody know any other good road tunes?
  • [Bubble transition to Texas from "Texas"; a hole opens up in the top of the dome and Sandy comes out wearing a cowgirl hat and holding a guitar. Sandy tunes it]
  • Sandy: ♪Wish I was back in Texas. The ocean's no place for a squirrel.♪ [live action Texas scenery appears behind her] ♪Wish I was in Texas, prettiest place in the world oh no. I guess that deep in my heart, I'll always be a Texas girl. I wanna go hooooooooooooooome, home.♪ [some clams howl along. SpongeBob and Patrick hear the music]
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Patrick, do you hear that? [Patrick has the notes going around him]
  • Patrick: Arrrgh! Get them off me! Get them off me!
  • SpongeBob: Wait, Patrick, listen. It's Sandy.
  • Sandy: ♪I wanna wake up in Texas.♪ [live action scenery is shown] ♪I miss those wide open skies. I miss my twenty acres, barbecues and pecan pies, oh, why? When I'm so far from you Texas, all I can do is cry.♪ [a live-action squirrel sheds a tear. SpongeBob and Patrick start sobbing. At the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs hears the song, too, and starts sobbing also and accidentally gets hit by the cash register; Two customers are also sobbing; one dries his eyes with his Krabby Patty and gives it to the next person who blows his nose on it.]
  • Sandy: ♪I wanna go hoooommme.♪ [Junior Brown's voice] ♪I wanna go home.♪ [as she sings she goes back into the Treedome. SpongeBob and Patrick continue sobbing]
  • [Bubble transition to I Love Krabby Patties from "Banned in Bikini Bottom"]
  • SpongeBob: I know I’ve said this 90 times already, but... ♪I love Krabby Patties, I think that they are swell! They are the best, there's no contest, and now I'm going to yell...♪ Whoo!
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