Night of the Living Stench/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Night of the Living Stench" from season 1, which aired on September 30, 2022.

[The episode begins. SpongeBob is singing in the shower. There is a long line of tired campers waiting for him. Perch lays on the ground. An anchovy falls asleep on Harvey. One kid starts crying, and another with a bar of soap wets it and starts cleaning himself. Squidward is at the front of the line with a towel, scrub brush, and bath cap.]
Squidward: Will you hurry up!?
SpongeBob: [opens a square in the shower foam, scrubbing his head] Just a minute, Mr. Tentacles! I've only washed my outside! Still gotta do my insides!
[SpongeBob takes out his heart and brushes it, then puts it back in. He walks out of the shower, wipes himself off with a towel, and puts it on his head. He shines with cleanliness.]
SpongeBob: Ah, sparkly clean!
[The campers scream and shield their eyes from the shine.]
Perch: Don't look directly at him, Harvey! [covers Harvey's eyes]
Harvey: [eyes light on fire] My eyes!
SpongeBob: The shower's all yours, Mr. Tentacles.
Squidward: Oh, finally! [runs in, turns on the water, then screams] You used up all the hot water, you nitwit!
[SpongeBob walks away and cleans inside his head with the towel. He comes across Patrick.]
SpongeBob: Morning, Patrick. Heading over for your shower? Wanna borrow my soap? [takes soap out of pants]
Patrick: [hisses] No thanks. I don't bathe anymore, SpongeBob. It washes away my essential Patrick-y-ness. If no one can smell you, do you even exist? [chuckles]
[A green stink comes from Patrick's armpits, blowing SpongeBob backwards. He smells it and collapses.]
SpongeBob: [groans] Oh, boy, do you exist. [sniffs deeply] Ah, I smell like nothing! [grabs Patrick] I've washed away my identity!
Patrick: [takes SpongeBob under his armpit] Don't worry, buddy. I've gotcha.
[Squidward enters the cabin.]
Squidward: Ya da dee, ya--
[A green smell floats over to Squidward, disgusting him.]
Squidward: [sniffs and grabs nose] Oh! What is that awful smell? [sees stinky trash can] Those loafers never empty the trash.
[He opens it and is knocked away by stink. SpongeBob and Patrick are inside.]
SpongeBob: Hi, Counselor Tentacles!
Squidward: I-- [stink hits his nose] Ah! You just took a shower! How did you become so stinky?
SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me discover my true smell!
Squidward: Huh?
SpongeBob: [comes out of trash can singing] ♪ I'm a stinker! ♪
Patrick: [comes out of trash can singing] ♪ He's a stinker! ♪
SpongeBob and Patrick: [as Patrick holds SpongeBob upside down] ♪ Let's all be stinkers together! ♪
[Patrick throws SpongeBob into the air and he spins. They go back into the trash, then pop back out.]
SpongeBob: Whoo! Join us, Counselor Tentacles. Discover the real you.
Squidward: "Real you"? [grabs trash can lid] More like P.U.! [slams lid on the trash can and carries it away]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [laughing from inside the trash can]
[Squidward takes the trash can over to Krabs, in the middle of the dining area. He dumps SpongeBob and Patrick out.]
Krabs: Hmm?
Squidward: Camp Master Krabs, these two bio-hazards are stinking up my cabin.
Krabs: [sniffs, gags and holds nose] You smell worse than a garbage cow in a sea of diapers.
Squidward: These geniuses have stopped showering!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling]
SpongeBob: We're on a journey of smell discovery.
Krabs: [takes out box of soap] Then why am I payin' for soap!? [pauses, to himself] Hold on, sailor. If they all stop showerin', [eyes turn into money signs] I'll never have to buy soap again! [jumps on table and speaks through a megaphone, sternly] Attention, Kamp Koral. Camper SpongeBob and Camper Patrick have stopped showerin'. Therefore, I have decided that they deserve...
[SpongeBob and Patrick look on in anticipation as Squidward laughs sneakily and rubs his hands together.]
Krabs: [happily] Badges!
Squidward: Heh, heh, heh-- What the? Ohh!
[Krabs draws on pieces of paper and goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa!
Krabs: [puts the paper on them] You have earned the prestigious [shows Patrick's badge, a drawing of a smelly trash can] stinky badge for outstanding smelliness.
Larry: That sounds hardcore.
Bubble Bass: [scratching armpit] Finally, a badge I don't have to work for.
Krabs: And if every camper stinks together, Kamp Koral could win the... [thinks, then raises hand] "Stinkiest Camp in the Forest" award! All you have to do is stop showerin'. Are ya with me, Campers?
Campers: We'll never shower again!
Squidward: [walks away] Ugh! Disgusting! Count me out.
French Narrator: [narrating time card] One smelly week later...
[Larry is leading some fish in doing jumping jacks.]
Larry: Come on, dudes! We need to work up a powerful sweaty funk!
SpongeBob: [with clipboard] Stink check! [he and Patrick sniff the campers and nod, until they come to Tall Tail] Ah. [they inhale]
Patrick: I don't know about this kid. There's no stink at all!
[Tall Tail grabs Patrick and rubs him into his armpit. Patrick's head twists up. He gives a thumbs up.]
SpongeBob: [nods] Uh-uh. [writes on clipboard]
[Bubble transition to Sandy walking around until she meets SpongeBob and Patrick.]
Sandy: Howdy!
Patrick: [smells her] Hmm. Uh-uh.
SpongeBob: [sadly] Aww, poor Sandy. [shrugs] You can't get stinky in a spacesuit.
Sandy: Aw, don't you fret, SpongeBob. Now that I've cranked up my suit's heater, I am smellier than a hog at a manure convention. Take a whiff! [presses a button that releases green bubbles, turning SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes green, then shows off her skunk tail] And to really get in the spirit, I painted my caboose!
SpongeBob: Ooh! Skunk-tastic!
[Sandy sprays, and the cloud dissolves to show Squidward walking to the shower with a bar of soap around his neck.]
Squidward: [humming] Thanks to those stink-wits, I have my own private shower. [turns on shower and sings]
Kevin: Hey, look! Someone's taking a shower!
[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy run in.]
Sandy: I'll handle this! Hyah!
[She jumps onto the shower and pulls the cork out of the water barrel, draining it.]
Squidward: [vocalizing] Huh?
Sandy: Whoo!
SpongeBob: Now, what kind of camper would be taking a shower when we all should be stinking together?
Sandy: I've got a sneakin' suspicion the varmint's name is...
[Sandy pulls the shower cloth down to show Squidward, naked, as a woman screams.]
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Counselor Tentacles?
Squidward: [ties towel around himself] What happened to the water? [sticks up legs] I still have three more legs to wash.
Sandy: Aw, Mr. Tentacles, if you don't start stinkin' soon, we'll never win the Stinkiest Camp award.
Squidward: I'm too civilized to join your rank ranks. Hmph!
[Squidward walks off, mumbling. Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick come out of the ground like zombies.]
Squidward: Beat it, you smelly saps! [whips them with his towel and runs away]
Sandy: [as they all chase him] Let's get that spotless sidewinder!
[Squidward tries to go into the outhouse, but there are already smelly campers in it.]
Campers: [zombie-like] Stink with us!
[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy skid into the outhouse and bounce off, running towards Squidward. Squidward hops across some kids in a puddle of mud. The campers fart and burp as Squidward hops on them. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy swim through the mud. Squidward runs to the cabin door, but the other three jump to him.]
Squidward: Give up, Counselor Tentacles! We've got you out-stinked!
Squidward: [grabs soap] Aha!
Patrick: [screams] Not soap on a rope!
SpongeBob: [shields himself] Fresh clean scent![ he and Patrick run away]
Sandy: [slaps soap away] Ha-ha! That won't stop me!
[Squidward backs away. He throws his towel on Sandy's head and rushes into the front door of the cabin.]
Sandy: Whoa! Hornswoggled by terrycloth. [falls off]
[Squidward barricades the front door and sighs. SpongeBob's face appears in the window.]
SpongeBob: Join us, Counselor Tentacles.
[Squidward boards up the window. He hears Sandy's voice.]
Sandy: Embrace your inner stinker. [opens a window as green stench clouds come out. Squidward grabs it, shoves it back in, and puts a cork in the window] Whoa!
Squidward: [heavy panting]
[Squidward smells something and sees Patrick, dirty and emanating massive amounts of stench, next to him.]
Patrick: Hi, Squidward.
[Squidward groans and stomps on a floorboard to catapult Patrick outside.]
Patrick: [screaming]
Squidward: I have got to keep those filthy fools out of here!
[Bubble transition to Squidward rigging a bucket of water above the door. He has aimed multiple toilet brushes at the door. He laughs and goes into his room, then welds his clarinet to a cord connected to a giant bottle of soap. He puts it on his back and sprays cardboard cutouts of SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy with water. The clarinet has bubbles coming out of it.]
Squidward: Now that's what I call a clean shot. [blows bubbles]
[Squidward looks out the cabin window to see a mob of smelly campers.]
SpongeBob: Become one with the smelliness!
Patrick: [takes out his underwear on a flag] Let your stink flag fly!
Squidward: [gets onto the roof and sprays the campers with water from his clarinet] Get back, you foul-smelling fools!
[The water lands in a puddle in front of the campers.]
Campers: Huh? [all yelp]
SpongeBob: Chaaarge!
Campers: [run forward] Join the stink! Join the stink! Join the stink! Join the stink!
[Squidward screams and jumps back into the cabin. The stinky campers mob the front entrance. He sees them clawing at the front door through the window. Patrick jumps onto the cabin.]
Patrick: Let an unprofessional handle this! [eats an onion and uses his stinky breath to burn a hole in the ceiling, then jumps in] Give Patrick a big stinky hug! [toilet brushes are aimed at him] Uh-oh.
Squidward: [wearing an army helmet and behind a bunch of sandbags] Fire in the hole!
[He pulls a rope and fires toilet brushes at Patrick, one of which sends him out of the building. Patrick, now clean, spits out the brush and screams.]
Patrick: Ah! Sparkly fresh? Ew! [rubs SpongeBob on himself]
Squidward: Oh, no. I'm running low on cleaning supplies. Time to execute my escape plan! [puts white flag through window] I give up. I surrender.
Campers: [cheering]
[SpongeBob and Sandy enter the cabin.]
SpongeBob: Glad you're finally ready to be one with the stink, Counselor Tentacles!
Squidward: [behind sandbags] Ha-ha. Changed my mind.
[He pulls a rope that dumps a bucket of water on SpongeBob and Sandy. They slip and fall over.]
SpongeBob: [with red eyes] Aah! Pine scented!
Sandy: [laughs and points to helmet] I'm protected by my outer shell!
Squidward: [steps on Sandy's helmet, chuckles] Then I'll just have to crack this nut.
[Squidward sticks his clarinet in Sandy's suit and fills the helmet with water.]
Sandy: [screaming] Fizzing bubbles!
Squidward: [laughs and runs outside, then inflates balloons from his back]
[The campers look up and mutter.]
Sandy: What?
Squidward: Eat soap bubbles! [throws water balloons]
[The campers scream and run away before the balloons hit them.]
Kevin: Initiate smelly spit-wad attack!
[Kevin and the campers grab straws and shoot spitballs at Squidward. One of the balloons pops and he is sent flying away, screaming.]
Larry: We've lost him.
Sandy: Don't worry. We'll track him down with my [takes out a nose] new-fangled [close-up on nose] Stink-O-Meter.
[Sandy sniffs SpongeBob. The Stink-O-Meter flashes green.]
Stink-O-Meter: P.U.
Sandy: You read fully funky. [Stink-O-Meter flashes blue] I'm detecting an absence of stink at 7:00!
Patrick: [checks watch] It's only 3:30.
[The campers run past the outhouse. Sandy opens it and detects a smell from the toilet hole, making the Stink-O-Meter flash green.]
Sandy: Hmm, well, he's not in there. Come on!
[They run away. Squidward is hiding inside the outhouse.]
Squidward: [comes down] Huh? [chuckles] Those goofballs fell for my funk-o-flage! [runs in the opposite direction]
Bubble Bass: Hm? [turns around and points] There he is!
Squidward: What?
Bubble Bass: The clean one!
[Squidward is chased by the smelly campers. He tries to squirt water from his clarinet, but only a drop comes out.]
Squidward: Ah! I'm out of ammo! [throws clarinet and container as the campers keep chasing him] Huh? [sees lake] Aha! Those stinkers won't follow me into the lake!
[Squidward dives off the pier and into the lake. The rest of the campers skid at the edge of the pier. They stop and the pier collapses. Their dirt washes off in the water.]
Sandy: [helmet fills with dirty water] Oh, I've sprung a leak! [sinks and burbles]
SpongeBob: [rubbing water on him] No, our precious filth! [sinks with his hand outstretched]
[Cut to the lake at sunset. Patrick washes on the shore and Sandy crawls out. SpongeBob, inflated with water, runs over and steps on Patrick, making him spit out water.]
Sandy: [sadly] All of my hard-earned stank has washed away.
SpongeBob: [deflates] Aww, now we'll never win the Filthiest Camp award.
Ranger: Maybe not, little Camper! [swings in on a vine]
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Whoa!
Ranger: [points] That lucky kid has won the "Stinkiest Camper in the Forest" award!
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Huh?
[Everyone turns to look at the lake, and Mr. Krabs comes in. Squidward absorbs the filth leftover in the lake, turning him completely brown as he walks out.]
Krabs: [rubbing claws together] There really is an award? Is there a cash prize?
Ranger: No cash. [takes out trophy] Just this stinky trophy.
Krabs: Ah, whatever. [walks off]
Ranger: Congratulations, Camper. [gives trophy to Squidward]
Squidward: What?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray for Squidward!
[The campers run out of the lake and pick up Squidward, carrying him off to celebrate his victory.]
Squidward: Does anybody have a wet wipe?
[The episode ends.]