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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Moving Bubble Bass" from season 11, which aired on March 16, 2018.
- [The episode begins with the start of the late-night talk show "Snark Chat with Bubble Bass". The title text appears over a starry background.]
- Narrator: Snark Chat with Bubble Bass.
- Bubble Bass: And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty. [audience clap] Great to have you back on the program.
- Krabby Patty: Great to be here, BB.
- Bubble Bass: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope.
- Krabby Patty: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund.
- [A percussion rimshot sting is heard, followed by Bubble Bass and the Krabby Patty laughing. However, Mama Bass interrupts the show.]
- Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there?
- Bubble Bass: Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show! [Krabby Patty thuds as a cardboard] Mmph.
- Mama Bass: You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm!
- Bubble Bass: Ooh, I don't feel like it! Huh? [Mama Bass throws garbage, two dishes, and the worm at him, who swallows the second dish.] That tears it, Mother! [grunts] I am moving out! [slams the front door]
- Mama Bass: Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! [grunts and throws an underwear at Bubble Bass]
- Bubble Bass: [underwear lands on Bubble Bass's face, and a fly is heard buzzing. SpongeBob and Patrick, on a wagon, are laughing in the background] All I need to do is find two able-bodied idiots. But where am I to find such stupidity on such short notice? Hm... [SpongeBob and Patrick ride the wagon using their paddles but collide into Bubble Bass.]
- SpongeBob: Whoops. [Bubble Bass grunts] Sorry, Bubble Bass.
- Bubble Bass: Why you two able-bodied idiots! I— [gasps and giving an evil grin] Ooh. [Patrick sobbers and SpongeBob blinks strangely] Why, SpongeBob and Patrick, my occasional friends. How would you two like to earn [holds two lunch bags] a free lunch?
- Patrick: Freeeeeee lunch!
- [Patrick's head turns as if a balloon and then explodes, as the scene changes to inside Bubble Bass's home.]'
- Bubble Bass: All righty, we're moving all of my belongings out of my mother's basement into my grandmother's basement across town. Let's start with my lounge.
- SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, up with the loveseat. [grunts]
- Bubble Bass: [fakes having his back popped by breaking a stick] Ow! My bad back! I guess you two will have to move everything without me. So I'll meet you both at this address.
- SpongeBob: But don't you have to pack your things before we can move 'em?
- Bubble Bass: Ooh, ahh, I guess you'll have to pack my stuff too. But remember with gastric prizes await your mouths.
- [Patrick drools, releasing a ship blaring a beat horn.]
- SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick. [puts a finger inside Patrick's mouth, causing him to fill up and release water]
- [Bubble Bass laughs evilly while climbing upstairs with the lunch bags.]
- SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, let's get p-p-p-packing!
- [Bubble transition to the two cleaning up. Patrick grumbles trying to fit a stool into the box. He frustratingly uses a mallet to break the stool. He hums while using a broom and dustpan to clean up the stool rubble before placing in the box.]
- SpongeBob: Oh... [grunts while putting a handful of action figure toys in the box. He puts on welder's helmet and turns on the torch. He melts the toys while humming. He takes off the helmet, revealing a weird face, then laughs.]
- Patrick: Huh... [struggling to hold a pile of comic books] Hmm, mm. [eats the comic books and spits them out as rubble in the box. He coughs out a comic book paper piece labeled "Comic", then closes the box.]
- [SpongeBob pushes three computers in the box while grunting. Patrick grunts while lifting the toilet, causing the water to gush out. He drops the toilet in the box SpongeBob is holding, but the toilet shatters and Patrick groans. Patrick then unravels the remaining toilet paper while leaning on the water gusher where the toilet used to be. SpongeBob and Patrick next use a cart to push wooden planks while going upstairs, grunting.]
- [Bubble transition to Patrick hitting the mailbox with an axe, causing clanging. SpongeBob pops out of the mailbox and gives a thumbs-up, but the mailbox collapses. SpongeBob spits out the mail with his tongue and Patrick exclaims. Later, the garbage bag is overloaded with Bubble Bass's stuff as trash. SpongeBob plants the mailbox atop the garbage bag.]
- Patrick: All right, that's the last of it.
- SpongeBob: [jumps off a trash bag] Whew, I hope we didn't leave anything behind.
- Patrick: [grunts] [part of the house clangs]
- Kids: [laugh]
- SpongeBob: [grunts]
- Old Man Jenkins: [screams]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both grunt]
- SpongeBob: Oh pardon us, ma'am, but could you walk around?
- Lady Upturn: Walk around? Hmph, I'm Lady Upturn the 333rd, and you want me to walk around? [laughs] I'm afraid you just have to back it up.
- SpongeBob: Back it up? [backup alarm blares] Okay. Back it up, Patrick.
- Patrick: What'd you say?
- SpongeBob: [grunts] Oh, oh, oh!
- Patrick: [grunts] [giggles afterward]
- SpongeBob: [pants] [screams]
- Lady Upturn: [screams] [grunts]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both exclaim]
- Lady Upturn: Oh! [spits shoe out]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both exclaim] [cars vroom, scratching their behind] Huh? [embarrassed shock]
- SpongeBob: Phew, hey, Patrick, from now on, we gotta be more careful. Huh? Patrick...
- Patrick: [giggles, thinking about the free lunch]
- [SpongeBob blows the thought away, and Patrick yells]
- SpongeBob: Oh, focus, Patrick, focus!
- Patrick: Okay. [grunts "focusing"]
- SpongeBob: Ah, that's perfect. [grunts] [laughs] [grunts again]
- Patrick: [giggles] [starts grunting]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmm? [both scream]
- Snail: [meows after being stuck on the bag]
- Old Man Jenkins: [mumbles] I can walk! [turns around] Oh!
- Kids: [laugh] [Ryan screams, along with SpongeBob and Patrick] [bag comes back to get the other two] Oh!
- Old Man Jenkins: [exclaims briefly]
- Babies: [laughter]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Babies?!
- SpongeBob: [grunts] [motor revs]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both scream] [tires screech]
- Babies: [babble]
- [bag thuds on SpongeBob and Patrick]
- Random people: [scream]
- Patrick: [grunts] SpongeBob? Where are you?
- SpongeBob: [grunts] I'm down here. [giggles]
- Patrick: [giggles] Shall we, SpongeBob?
- SpongeBob: We shall, Patrick.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both hum]
- Babies: [laughter]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Babies? No! [both scream]
- Babies: [laughter]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa! [both grunt]
- SpongeBob: Hmm... Hm? [turns paper around] Hey, this is the address! We made it, Patrick! Nice aim, babies!
- Patrick: Hooray! Now, where's that free lunch? [slurps] [thinks again about it]
- SpongeBob: [groans] [slaps Patrick] Focus! Let's get all this stuff inside the house, then we can eat. Hmm, hmm.
- Patrick: Hmm, hmm.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both hum]
- SpongeBob: Oh, Bubble Bass, special delivery. [shocked] Hmm? Okay, Patrick, push it!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both grunt] [bag thuds]
- Patrick: [goes through the back door to pull it] [becomes muscular] [destroys the house] And that's how you do it.
- SpongeBob: [frightened] Uh-oh, Patrick. Look what we did to Bubble Bass's granny's house.
- Fruit man: This isn't Bubble Bass's grandmother's house. That is! [points to Bubble Bass's grandmother's house] This was my house!
- SpongeBob: Well, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought we did something wrong.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Whew.
- Fruit man: [blows up and hat flies down]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both grunt]
- SpongeBob: [looks down] Don't look down, Patrick!
- Patrick: [zips eyes] I turned off my eyes. [wind gusting]
- SpongeBob: [whimpers] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh! [hiccups] Uh-oh, Patrick, I think I have the— [hiccups again] Hiccups.
- Patrick: Hiccups? I want some. I'm so hungry!
- SpongeBob: [hiccups again, exclaims] Here comes another one, Patrick.
- Patrick: [blocks SpongeBob's hiccup, grunting]
- SpongeBob: Thanks, buddy. We're almost there. Just a few more steps, and we'll claim that free lunch.
- Patrick: Yeah— [hiccups saying "Hiccup!"]
- [the bridge collapses, and both grunt]
- SpongeBob: Well, this is a dilly of a pickle.
- Babies: [laughter]
- Lady Upturn: Back it up!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both scream]
- Lady Upturn: Back it up! Back it up!
- Babies: [laugh]
- Lady Upturn: [hits Patrick in the head with a shoe]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [both scream as the rope pull them up, and lands in Bubble Bass's house] Oof, ta-da, Oof.
- Bubble Bass: I hope you didn't damage my goods.
- SpongeBob: Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch.
- Patrick: [gulps out a bib and fork and knife]
- Bubble Bass: Oh, yes, about that. I'm afraid I was waiting for you so long that I ate them! [eats the paper bags] Mmm. [belches]
- SpongeBob: [whimpers]
- Patrick: [inhales and swallows the fork, knife, and bib. grumbles] If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, [a realistic close-up of Patrick's face] things are gonna get crazy! [pants while Bubble Bass melts]
- SpongeBob: That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us.
- Patrick: I would.
- SpongeBob: Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.
- Bubble Bass: [watches the pair leave and laughs] Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. [hums and opens a box]
- Mama Bass: [emerges from a box and growls] Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?!
- Bubble Bass: [shocked] Mother?! [grunts as she picks him up and stuffs him in two boxes]
- Mama Bass: [Pulls a dolly out her hair] We'll just see how you like it! [pants as she pushes him]
- Bubble Bass: I didn't do it! [Mama Bass bumps into a mailbox] Ow! [bumps him into a building] Mother, please— [grunts] It was SpongeBob and Patrick! [grunts] I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. [grunts] I love you, Mommy.