- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Eugene H. Krabs
- Patrick Star
- Gary the Snail (cameo)
- Mrs. Tentacles (cameo in picture)
- Rusty Cab driver (debut)
- King Neptune (mentioned)
- Bikini Bottomites
- Old Man Walker
- Incidental 46
- Incidental 24
- Incidental 14
- Incidental 105
- Incidental 45
- Incidental 37A
- Incidental 64
- Incidental 8
- Incidental 2
- Incidental 37B
- Incidental 36
- Incidental 63
- Incidental 41
- Big dude
- Incidental 27
- Incidental 151
- Incidental 107
- Incidental 104
- Incidental 5
- Incidental 31
- Incidental 48
- Incidental 47
- Incidental 6
- Incidental 9
- Incidental 7
- Incidental 40
- Officer Slugfish
- Incidental 106
- Incidental 108
At the Krusty Krab one day, business is slow. As a result, Squidward decides to rest. Before he even gets a chance to do so, a lot of customers come in and start surrounding him. Squidward freaks out when he realizes SpongeBob is not cooking. Squidward then finds SpongeBob in a barrel, encouraging him to get back to work. SpongeBob starts making food and serves everybody while Squidward finds a book in the barrel. Then, SpongeBob snatches it away from him and puts it in between the two frying baskets.
A few minutes later, SpongeBob takes a break and Squidward finds the book in the barrel again. Now that he finds out the book was a diary, Squidward reads it to everyone at the Krusty Krab, revealing sensitive information about SpongeBob.
Later, SpongeBob finds out Squidward has been reading his diary and becomes sad and humiliated. As a result, he runs out of the Krusty Krab crying.
Mr. Krabs scolds at Squidward for his actions and demands that he apologize, but Squidward is too callous feels remorse over his harassment toward SpongeBob. Later on, Squidward finds a newspaper that publicizes his recent behavior, but is unaffected by the notoriety. Then he goes to a taxi, but the taxi driver just drives away because of what Squidward did to SpongeBob. Much later, he goes to his house, only to find out that his loan was taken away due to reading SpongeBob's diary.
With his house privileges now revoked, Squidward sleeps on a bench. However, two police officers recognize him and lock him in the stocks. Then, Patrick throws tomatoes at him. Squidward subsequently apologizes to SpongeBob and he learns that he only read SpongeBob's work diary, which got published. SpongeBob also tells him he never read his secret personal diary, which - in his opinion- would have been more embarrassing.
This inspires Squidward to read SpongeBob's diary once again, and, because of this, SpongeBob cries and runs away. The episode ends with tomatoes being thrown at Squidward by the disgusted and angry crowd, with Squidward laughing as he reads SpongeBob's diary and not caring about his comeuppance, deeming that it was to be worth it.
- Squidward reading SpongeBob's diaries.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
• Coconut Cream Pie Dry - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card.]
‣ Aloha Oe - Hans Haider, Queen Lili'uokalani [Squidward relaxing.]
• Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Long line of customers.]
• Jovial Pirate's Jig - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward looking for SpongeBob.]
• Lopey Sailor's Jig - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward sees SpongeBob writing in his diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob cooking patties.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 2 - Ivor Slaney [Squidward finds SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob serving patties.]
• Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Hmm..."]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks 5 - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob takes back his diary.]
• Comic Drum Drops - Nicolas Carr [Squidward laughs.]
• Noodly Shenanigans - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward unlocks SpongeBob's diary.]
• Credit Card Heaven - Nicolas Carr [Squidward opens SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ Untitled Tune - Jack Shaindlin [flashback to that morning.]
‣ The Fruitcake Vendor|The Fruitcake Vendor 2 - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob at the dumpster.]
‣ Shock (f) - Dave Hewson ["Puh-puh-puh... plaid?!"]
• Hillbilly Hoot - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob clucks like a chicken.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks 4 - Jeremy Wakefield ["I have to take my break."]
• A Fishy Conversation - Barry Anthony [Squidward still reading SpongeBob's diary.]
• Melodramatic Moments - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr ["Sure thing."]
• Proud to be a Fish - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob takes off his clothes.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 6 - Ivor Slaney [SpongeBob sees his diary in Squidward's hand.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks 8 - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob cries.]
• Salt Water Works - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward leaves work.]
• Bikini Bottom Police - Nicolas Carr [Cops.]
• A Casual Conversation - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Squidward in stocks.]
• Slide Whistle Stooges - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Ending.]
- This episode was released on iTunes on March 2, 2013.
- This episode is also available on the SpongeBob SquarePants Vol. 15, Bikini Bottom's Most Wanted, It Came from Goo Lagoon (Digital), Evil Spatula, Complete Ninth Season, Next 100 Episodes, and The Best 200 Episodes Ever DVDs.
- When this episode premiered it was paired up with a rerun of "You Don't Know Sponge," but since it has re-airing with "Bumper to Bumper."
- This episode was part of the SpongeBob's Secrets Revealed marathon, which featured episodes such as "Grandma's Kisses," "My Pretty Seahorse," and "Nasty Patty."
- There is a light blue glow around the title card text.
- This episode once again reveals SpongeBob's spatula having the ability to make multiple copies of its head.
- It is revealed that Mr. Krabs has gray hair that is similar to his grandma's hair.
- SpongeBob's secrets are as follows:
- The first secret Squidward reads is that SpongeBob clucks like a chicken whenever he sees plaid. Squidward sees Mr. Krabs wearing plaid, so he calls SpongeBob back. SpongeBob sees Mr. Krabs plaid so he clucks like a chicken, making Squidward and a fish laugh.
- The second secret is that SpongeBob named his spatula "Fifi." This amuses everyone and when SpongeBob comes back asking what is going on, Patrick teases him about him naming his spatula Fifi. Embarrassed, SpongeBob nervously excuses himself to the kitchen.
- The last secret is that whenever he hears the Bikini Bottom Municipal Anthem, he dances around in his underwear.
- When SpongeBob goes out to the back of the Krusty Krab to blow bubbles, it is akin to a smoke break.
- Despite everyone at the Krusty Krab reading the diary, Squidward is the only one who was blamed. However, reading the diary was his idea.
- All of the customers seem to enjoy reading the diary until SpongeBob starts to cry, which shows that they are very hypocritical, while blatantly pretending they did not know it was SpongeBob's diary. However, Squidward only said it was SpongeBob's diary to the first fish that came along.
- This episode is similar to "Fools in April," as Squidward does something to humiliate SpongeBob and then the citizens of Bikini Bottom get mad at him for doing so. However, in the former, Squidward felt bad of what he did and apologized, but in this episode, Squidward felt no remorse for reading SpongeBob's diary.
- As of this episode, SpongeBob is now a critically acclaimed author.
- Irony: If SpongeBob didn't want Squidward to read his diary, then he shouldn't have had it out in the open in the first place.
- This episode reveals that SpongeBob has two diaries, both of which have been read by Squidward.
- This is the second episode to feature a book that SpongeBob has written. The first was "Good Ol' Whatshisname," with the book The Customers of the Krusty Krab and why I Love Them.
- Albeit SpongeBob's diary was publicly published, and the aforementioned book was not.
- This is the second episode where Gary bites Squidward. The first was "Once Bitten."
- This is the third episode where the customers become ravenous and physical in the dining area due to an extended wait for the Krabby Patties. The first was "Truth or Square" and the second was "Oral Report." Another, more technical, instance of this was in "Help Wanted," yet the anchovies do not have an extended wait in a sense.
- It is not illegal to read someone's diary.
- However, no one is supposed to read another person's diary, as diaries are treated as private (they may contain embarrassing information).
- This is the third appearance of SpongeBob's diary. The first was "Boating School" and the second was "Gone."
- This is the third episode where SpongeBob is humiliated by Squidward and the Krusty Krab customers. The first was "Fools in April," and the second was "Grandma's Kisses."
- He is also embarrassed with Patrick at the Krusty Krab by Mr. Krabs when he is one of the Bikini Bottom ghosts in "Pranks a Lot."
- This episode marks the fourth appearance of Squidward's mother. The first was in "Fools in April," the second was in "Krusty Towers," and the third was in "Ghost Host."
- This episode's working title was "SpongeBob's Diary."
- This episode's title references Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong, known in America as the "Little Red Book."
- In the Turkish dub, Mr. Krabs says "Well, you don't have to be nasty about it!" because it's mistakenly dubbed.
- When SpongeBob gives the people the Krabby Patties, they have lettuce and pickles, but SpongeBob never put lettuce or pickles inside of him when he made the patties.
- When Mr. Krabs puts SpongeBob in the exhaust vent, the vent is in the wrong spot. It is at the back of the kitchen, not near the front where the grill is.
- In one scene, Squidward places the stereo on the order station. In the next scene, it is seen on top of the grill.
- When SpongeBob takes off his pants, his shape looks like the pants and does not show his feet.
- When SpongeBob dances in his underwear, the kitchen window is empty. However, in the next scene, Squidward and the other customers laugh at SpongeBob through the kitchen window.