This is a list of commercials in SpongeBob SquarePants.
- Donald: Hey, you! Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy! "Oh, I'm a little peanut worm." Are you too much of a wimp to work out? Are you a weakling built like a sponge? Well, now you too can have muscles. With Anchor arms! [puts a long pink item on his arm] They slip on like a glove. Just add air. [puts a plug in the arm's hole and pumps air into it] How big do you want 'em? [pumps air into other arm] Normal? [puts more air into arm] Veiny? And for the ladies... [puts air into arm which makes it grow hair] ...hairy. [SpongeBob whistles as the TV puts up an image of a weak shark] I was a wimp before Anchor arms. Now, I'm a jerk and everybody loves me. So order now, wimp!
Fiery Fist O' Pain
The Fiery Fist O' Pain commercial is a commercial that was shown on SpongeBob's TV in the episode "Roller Cowards." It is a commercial advertising the Fiery Fist O' Pain, a newly opened ride at Glove World!. Nancy Suzy Fish appears in the commercial.
- TV Announcer: The day you've been waiting for is almost here. That's right. Glove World! has a new ride. It's big... [roller coaster goes above the water then back down into it]
- TV Announcer: It's fast... [Nancy and Harold are riding a roller coaster so fast, Harold flies off of it]
- Nancy Suzy Fish: Harold, no!
- TV Announcer: It's painful... [roller coaster crashes into the ground, causing an explosion]
- TV Announcer: It's the "Fiery Fist O' Pain." Opening tomorrow only at Glove World!.
The Krusty Krab commercial is a commercial that was shown on SpongeBob's TV in the episode "As Seen on TV." The commercial is essentially a skit, and it features Pearl, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob.
- Amy (Pearl): Oh, Jen. I've got a real problem.
- Jen (Squidward): What's your problem, Amy?
- Amy: I've got all this money and I don't know what to do with it and I'm hungry. (Mr. Krabs is laughing off-set)
- Amy: Who's there?
- Jen: Where's that coming from? (Purple smoke appears)
- Amy and Jen: Yippee, it's Mr. Krabs!
- Mr. Krabs: That's right, Amy. I heard all about your little problem and I'm here to help. Follow... me!
- Amy and Jen: Where are we?
- Mr. Krabs: Why, we're at none other than The Krusty Krab.
- Amy: Did you say Krusty Krab?
- Mr. Krabs: That's right, Krusty Krab. Home of the world-famous... Krabby Patty!
- Jen: What's a Krabby Patty? (Mr. Krabs' jaw drops)
- Mr. Krabs: Why it's only the most mouth-watering, appetizing food in the seven seas.
- Mr. Krabs: We start with a fresh patty, grilled and juicy. Add some crisp undersea veggies and cheese. Topped off with secret sauce and some bun. Voila! A Krabby Patty.
- Amy: I want a Krabby Patty.
- Jen: Me, too.
- Mr. Krabs: How do you like them Krabby Patties, girls? (laughs)
- Amy & Jen: (thumbs up) (Mr. Krabs still laughing)
- Mr. Krabs: Two more satisfied customers. So why don't you come on in and have yourself a Krabby Patty today?
- All: The Krusty Krab, Come Spend Your Money Here!
The Soda Commercial was seen in a cutaway in the episode "Sun Bleached," starring an old man advertising a brand of soda called X-treme Soda, deeming it "radical" to go along with the "hip" theme Patrick compares his tan to.
- Soda commercial guy: [drinks the can of soda both before and after describing it while explosion effects are present] It's radical! [drinks the can] Radical! [drinks it once again before an explosion is played as "cool" emphasis] Drink it!
Mr. Sea Chicken Commercial
- Sea Chicken: (on TV) Cock-a-doodle-yum! (squawks) Rise and shine! We're the best restaurant in the sea!
- Sea Chicken: (on TV) The Sea Chicken Shack!
- Announcer: (on TV) Say, Mr. Sea Chicken, how's the flavor of that zesty sea chicken sandwich?
- Sea Chicken: (on TV) It's im-peck-able! (squawks) So come on down to my Sea Chicken Shack, and don't forget the kids. (four kids come up to him and hang on him)
Angry Jack's Shell Emporium
- Commercial Voice: Uh-Oh! Now look what you've done, you've broke your snail's shell again. [Man sweeping up snail shell pieces]
- Man: Yeah. Now what do I do?
- Angry Jack: You come on down to Angry Jack's Shell Emporium!
- Commercial Voice: [Drop scene with shop name on it] Angry Jack's!
- Angry Jack: I'm so angry about my massive inventory that I'm slashing prices like crazy!
- Commercial Voice: Jack's Angry!
- Angry Jack: $99.99 to buy this refurbished shell, and I'm angry about it! Or what about this one, brand new plastic shell, super-gloss coat, only $39.99! [Price appears in front of his eyes] HEY! GET THOSE NUMBERS OUTTA MY FACE! [Price disappears]
- Angry Jack: Did I mention I'm angry!?
- Commercial Voice: Seething with Rage!
- Angry Jack: Once gone, gone for good, so I'm gonna sell sell sell, all these shell shell shells! So come on down to Angry Jack's now!
- Commercial Voice: Jack is reeaalll mad! Don't bring your kids!
- Angry Jack: And remember, I'll match, or beat, anyone advertised rage or is absolutely... hey. [Sees SpongeBob] What are you doing in my commercial?
- Nathiel Waters: [on television] Are you tired of playing with an old stick and a cup? Well, say goodbye to boring and hello to whirly brains! The exciting new toy that puts you in the driver's seat of your own mind! It's so simple! Just flip your lid, attach the propeller, and watch your brain soar hundreds of feet into the air as you control the action!Get your whirly brain today and free your mind!