"Krabby Patty Report" is a SpongeBob SquarePants Goodbye, Krabby Patty? short. In this short, Perch Perkins and Patrick fight over Krabby Patties. This short was written by Ben Gruber and storyboarded by Adam Paloian.
- Patrick Star
- Perch Perkins
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Tina Fran
- Eugene H. Krabs
- Norma Rechid
- Frankie Billy
- Frank (red shirt)
- Incidental 2
- Taylor Fishbowl
- Shelly Fishbowl
The short begins with Perch Perkins in front of a long line at the Krusty Krab for frozen Krabby Patties. He talks about how well known Krabby Patties are, and pans the camera over to various things that are based on the patties.
SpongeBob and Patrick appear quickly during the news report and introduce themselves. Perkins explains that they are not doing interviews and pushes the two out of the way. Patrick explains that he likes the frozen Krabby Patties since they are popular and turns around to show a drawing of them on his back.
SpongeBob gives Perch a patty to taste, to which he shouts "Yes!" and tells how much he loves them. He grabs more patties from the box Patrick is holding, while running around. Perch then grabs one more, which annoys Patrick and results in him chasing him.
Mr. Krabs is then seen on a booth he set up himself to sell more patties, as Perch runs passed and grabs one. Sandals takes a bite of his patty, then Patrick runs and steals it from him. Mr. Krabs puts up a sign that reads "No refunds" on his booth.
The short ends with Perch taking even more patties, with Patrick and the rest of the customers on the line chasing him and SpongeBob following them, having Bikini Bottom destroyed in the process.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Bikini Bottom News Theme - Nicolas Carr [The opening]
‣ Screw on the Loose - Tony Lowry [Perch Perkins' news report]
‣ Unknown Track 37 - Nicolas Carr ["Yes! I finally feel like I'm part of something!"]
• SpongeBob Theme II - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [The ending]
- This short is available on the Factory Fresh, Complete Ninth Season, The Best 200 Episodes Ever and Next 100 Episodes DVDs.
- This short mistakenly aired 2 hours early, before "More Feeling" and "What Else Can a Krabby Patty Do?" aired.
- This short premiered eight years after "Grandpappy the Pirate," six years after SpongeBob Marbles & Slides was updated for the fifth time, four years after Disorder in the Deep was released, and two years after The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water was released in France.
- This short premiered in Greece two years after "Patrick-Man!" premiered in Germany and Poland.