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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Karate Star" from season 7, which aired on July 9, 2010.
- SpongeBob: [At SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob is chopping a smaller pineapple in half] Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya! Ta-dah! A gift, in your likeness! [hands Gary the pineapple which looks like him]
- Gary: Meow!
- SpongeBob: 'Cause you're so sweet. Get it? 'Cause pineapples are sweet, and you are sweet also as well! Get it? [laughs, Gary leaves, SpongeBob continues laughing until a fly from the gift flies into his mouth, SpongeBob chokes]
- Patrick: Hey, buddy. You still got that bucket of cheese? [SpongeBob tries to perform the Heimlich maneuver on himself, Patrick realizes SpongeBob's choking] Oh, no! He's... not right! Don't worry, pal! I'll help you! [punches SpongeBob and the fly comes out]
- Patrick: Buddy! You okay?
- SpongeBob: Ah. Patrick, Thank you so much! If it weren't for your tremendous gorilla strength, I would've been a goner! If there's anything I can do to return the favor, anything at all... you just let me know. Anyway, back to my Karate exercises. [gets a watermelon] Oh, and help yourself to the cheese bucket. Thanks again, buddy. Hi-ya! [chops the watermelon]
- Patrick: [gets the cheese bucket and eats some. SpongeBob continues chopping items] Hey! I want to learn how to do that. [points to chopped up bread]
- SpongeBob: What, what, you mean karate?
- Patrick: Uh-huh!
- SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick... my dear, dear friend. Karate is a delicate art, a skill that takes years to...
- Patrick: If I recall correctly, I seem to remember saving your life a few minutes ago.
- SpongeBob: Yeah... However...
- Patrick: I also remember you saying, "If there's anything you can do to return the favor, anything at all... to let you know.
- SpongeBob: Well, I did say that, Patrick, but, well, karate is about finesse, not so much brute strength. You see, there's so much you don't know. You have not even scratched the surface of the surface. [Patrick runs over]
- Patrick: Then teach me.
- SpongeBob: As you wish, just remember one thing. With power, comes responsibility.
- Patrick: Oh yeah! Mama! [cuts to training]
- SpongeBob: Okay. Let's start off simple. This is a basic move called "the inverted whirlpool."
- Patrick: Inverty whirpey... Got it! [SpongeBob lays on head and twists feet, he starts moving and blasts through the objects]
- Patrick: Woohoo! That was awesome!
- SpongeBob: Think you can handle that?
- Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! [does the same thing as SpongeBob] Ha Ha Ha Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! [continues laughing] Hey, how do you stop this thing? [heads towards lemonade stand]
- Harold: Neptune's trousers! What's that?! [screams and runs away as Patrick destroys the lemonade stand]
- [Bubble transition to SpongeBob teaching the next stage of karate training to Patrick.]
- SpongeBob: Now, this is very easy, watch closely. [does a move] Haa-haah. You got it?
- Patrick: Definitely! [does the same but spins out of control, SpongeBob stops him and he falls]
- SpongeBob: Patrick, I didn't want to have to say this... but you're... you're unteachable. [walks away]
- Patrick: What?! I...! [gets mad and chops through cinder blocks] Barnacles!
- SpongeBob: [looks in amazement] Look what you did to this wall of cinder blocks. In all my years of training, I've never seen a perfect slice. No one's ever been able to execute such a clean karate chop through solid cinder!
- Patrick: Wow!
- SpongeBob: You're a natural! A karate genius!
- Patrick: Clamo!
- SpongeBob: [holds a sword] Now let's put your new skills to the test. This is sharpened, tempered steel. Now don't be frustrated if it takes a few tri- [Patrick cuts it in half]. Wow. Amazing!
- [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick approaching an abandoned Ol' Ironsides ship.]
- SpongeBob: This is an abandoned, broad-ironed steamboat, solid as a rock. Think you got what it takes?
- [Patrick attempts to karate chop the ship but misses.]
- SpongeBob: Ahhh... better luck next time. [the ship suddenly splits in half]
- Patrick: Yeah! I bet I can chop anything! [goes over to Sadie and Baby Rechid]
- Sadie: AAAAAHHHH!
- Patrick: HIIIII-
- SpongeBob: [stops Patrick] Noooooo! What did I tell you?!
- Patrick: I'm a genius?
- SpongeBob: Not that! [pulls out a tape recorder] ...this. [SpongeBob's voice on recorder]: With power... comes responsibility. That means no chopping of any life from or their property. You understand?
- Patrick: Yesss...
- SpongeBob: Good! [his watch beeps] Oh man, I'm late for work. [runs] See you later, buddy. Don't forget what I said.
- Patrick: Okay! I'm a genius! [cuts to Patrick's rock]
- Patrick: [chops hot dogs] Karate power! [eats part of the hot dog, cuts to Patrick at the Krusty Krab]
- Squidward: [looking at magazine] What's this? Hhmmm... haven't seen this before.
- SpongeBob: Hey, look, it's Patrick!
- Patrick: Hi-yah, SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: What are you doing... [Patrick chops the door]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Dear Neptune!
- Patrick: Good day, gents! Ahhh, Squidward, I would like a HIYAAA!
- Squidward: A... What?
- Patrick: I said one Krusty Combo. Don't you speak karate?
- Squidward: [sighs]
- Patrick: [chops the meal in half] Looks delish.
- SpongeBob: Patrick, don't you think you're taking your perfect slice a bit too far?
- Patrick: I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one who called me a karate genius. And, frankly, I'm offended by your previous accusation. I don't need this! I beg you good due.
- SpongeBob: But, but, but-
- Patrick: No buts! Just hands. [chops the window]
- SpongeBob: Oooohhh!
- Mr. Krabs: You do realize I'm taking that out of your pay check.
- [cuts to Patrick at the ice cream shop]
- Patrick: Uh... Seaweed Surprise! Also!... uh... Malted Coral Crunch! [ice cream is really tall] Ooh... Ooh, also, Lipids and Creme!
- Lou: We're all out. In fact, we're out of everything, which means you owe us $86.50.
- Patrick: What do you say to a trade? [pulls out a disgusting-looking lollipop]
- Lou: I say, pay up before I call the cops.
- Patrick: You dare refuse my barter?!?! Then accept my chop! [chops tip jar and the ice cream flies into Patrick's mouth, he eats it and becomes fat. He becomes frozen, chops out of the ice and rubs his tummy] Ahhh... I don't feel so good.
- Billy: Aha! Hand in the tip jar again, eh! [Patrick is stuck in door and chops it open]
- Patrick: [sniffs] What is that wonderful stench? [walks to Harold Fish] Whatcha got there?
- Harold: Spinach and chocolate spaghetti in calamari sauce. You wanna bite?
- Patrick: [chops the food] No! It's more fun to chop! [laughing] [cuts to Bikini Bottom Arcade, Patrick chops a game]
- Patrick: I win, I win, I win! [cuts to Krusty Krab]
- Patrick: Hiyas hiyaa-
- Lifeguard fish: Help! Help! There's a mad chopper on the loose!
- SpongeBob: Mad chopper?! Patrick!
- Lifeguard fish: We need the cops, kid!
- SpongeBob: Cops? No, that won't be necessary. I'll handle this, citizen.
- Lifeguard fish: Don't do it, kid! [grabs his ankle]
- SpongeBob: Unhand my ankle, sir. My friend needs me.
- Lifeguard fish: You don't know what you're doing! Don't walk out that door! No...! [SpongeBob on his unicycle, Patrick chops a car]
- SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?
- Patrick: SpongeBob, just the man I was looking for. I wanted to thank you, buddy. [chops his unicycle]
- SpongeBob: For what?
- Patrick: For teaching me how to karate chop, silly.
- SpongeBob: You gotta stop, buddy, you're destroying the entire town!
- Patrick: [looks at the destruction] Wooooooooooo.
- SpongeBob: Just stop chopping, okay, Patrick?
- Patrick: You got it, buddy. No more karate chops! [chops a jail truck]
- SpongeBob: You're still chopping!
- Patrick: I know! Weird, huh?
- SpongeBob: Patrick, stop it!
- Patrick: Oh. Okay. I know, I'll stop a chop, with a chop! [Patrick chops his hand and it hits his face]
- SpongeBob: [grabs Patrick's arm] You must resist! [flings SpongeBob on a fire hydrant] Ahhah! [Patrick's hand suddenly springs to life and pulls him away and his hand chops Squidward's hedge sculpture]
- SpongeBob: Wait up, Patrick! [gasps] Triton's tunic!
- Fish [off-screen]: He's headed straight for the Barg'N-Mart!
- [Everyone screams and runs away]
- Patrick: [in the store] HIYA YA! Oh, no! Not the muffin display... Yaaah! [chops it]
- News Reporter: This just in, a mad man is chopping everything.
- Patrick: Not the giant-screen TVs! [chops it] Oh no!
- News Reporter: The suspect is considered fat, pink, and dangerous.
- Patrick: Oh, oh! Gianter TVs! HIYAAA! [chops one and falls]
- SpongeBob: Pull it together, buddy!
- Patrick: I'm trying to, but this thing has a mind of its owwwnnnn... [punches SpongeBob, SpongeBob hits a rack] YAAAAAA! [then the counter, until the whole store collapses. He emerges from the rubble.]
- Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! [spots a kitchen sponge] Oh, no! I'm so sorry, my best friend, crushed by all this rubble, entombed in this cheap plastic bag. [cries and hugs it]
- Dennis: [emerges from the debris] That isn't your friend, you kelp-for-brains. Those are cleaning sponges.
- Patrick: [looks at the pack closer and throws it away, becomes relieved] So I haven't crushed the life of my best friend in the world?
- Dennis: Um... I wouldn't say that. [Points him to rubble covering SpongeBob]
- Patrick: [sees the pile of rubble] SpongeBob! Oh no! [pushes rubble off SpongeBob and gasps] Ohhh, I'll never forgive myself [cries] No! I'll never forgive you! [points to his hand and pulls it off]
- SpongeBob: [wakes up] Oh, hi, Patrick. What did I miss?
- Patrick: SpongeBob, you're okay!
- SpongeBob: Patrick! Your arm!
- Patrick: Ha! Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'm a sea star. My limbs grow back. See?
- SpongeBob: Hooray for regeneration!
- Patrick: And in the spirit of healing, I vow to use my hands only to join things together, starting here! [rebuilds the Barg'N-Mart]
- SpongeBob: Hey, great job, Patrick! I like the architectural details.
- Patrick #2: HIYAAA! [chops shopping cart]
- SpongeBob: Patrick! I thought you gave up chopping!
- Patrick: Oh, I did. Unfortunately, we sea stars have limbs that grow new bodies.
- Patrick #2: HIYYAA! [Barg'N-Mart collapses again]