This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Jellyfish Jam" from season one, which aired on August 28, 1999.
  • Narrator: Ah, Jellyfish Fields. Here we find SpongeBob once again stalking the wild jellyfish. SpongeBob? Allo? SpongeBob? Hmmm... he's supposed to be here somewhere... [narrator looks around and sees a square-shaped coral] A-ha! [Jellyfish floats by. SpongeBob puts his glasses on]
  • SpongeBob: Safety first. [SpongeBob slides to a jellyfish and captures it] A-ha! I finally gotcha! [SpongeBob grabs a wooden stool and sits on it. Puts on a farmer hat and 'milks' the jellyfish. Jelly comes out and squirts on a piece of bread. The jellyfish moos like a cow. He eats.] Ah, there is nothing better than the taste of natural jelly from a jellyfish. See you later! [walks off but jellyfish floats towards him with his glasses] Oh, oh my glasses! Thanks, little guy! Bye! [the jellyfish floats with SpongeBob] I can't play anymore, jellyfish. I got to get home. [jellyfish hangs onto SpongeBob's nose] No. You can't go home with me. [jellyfish walks behind him. The jellyfish's steps are squeaking, like SpongeBob's] Jellyfish, you've got to stay here! [the jellyfish floats towards SpongeBob] Hey! [puts the jellyfish on a rock] Stay! [walks backwards] Stay... [jellyfish floats around SpongeBob. SpongeBob grabs the jellyfish and uses a slingshot to launch him somewhere else but the jellyfish ends up on his back. The jellyfish giggles. SpongeBob pulls the jellyfish off] [exasperated] Jellyfish! For the last time, you cannot come home with me! [SpongeBob looks at the jellyfish sternly. The jellyfish deflates as if he was sad. SpongeBob decides to keep him] Ahh, what the heck! [SpongeBob, with the jellyfish on a rope, like a dog, walk by Squidward's house] Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidwardiard! [Squidward peeks out his window] Squidward! Look at my new pet!
  • Squidward: That's no pet, that's a wild animal.
  • SpongeBob: No he isn't! Watch this! Fetch! [throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? [the jellyfish hums deeply three times] Play dead! [jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says "R.I.P.". He pops up]
  • Squidward: I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty-trained! [the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually] I didn't need to see that.
  • SpongeBob: Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun.
  • Squidward: How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish? [SpongeBob and the jellyfish dance to some music. Also, various colors change as they dance. Disco lights rotate around the room. SpongeBob's house is vibrating from the music] SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish... for 12 hours!
  • SpongeBob: [stops dancing. He is exhausted, sees the jellyfish dance more] Whew! Wow, you sure like to dance. Well, that's enough for tonight. [turns the music off] It's time to go to bed. [as he walks off, the jellyfish turns the music back on] Huh? [walks over to turn the music off] You got it all wrong, little fella. [the jellyfish turns the music back on. SpongeBob turns it back off] Bed. Repeat after me. [SpongeBob ties the rope around the jellyfish] Bed! [the jellyfish reaches for the stereo but SpongeBob pulls it off. Upstairs, SpongeBob ties the rope around his bedpost] We'll just keep you right here.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Quit worrying, Gary. He'll be just fine. Good night, everybody. [as he is sleeping throughout the night, other jellyfish float inside the pineapple]
  • Gary: [wakes up] Meow. [jellyfish opens the window, and the 4 jellyfish talking in jellyfish speaking. Gary gets angry] Meow. [gets squirted with jelly from all the jellyfish, they laugh at Gary, and continue squirting jelly on him] Meow. [More jellyfish enter SpongeBob's House. It's now daytime and the rooster crows everyone up]
  • SpongeBob: Good morning, Gary. Good morning, jellyfish. Jellyfish? Jellyfish? Here, jellyfish. Oh, jelly! [puts on his green robe and goes to check downstairs]
  • Gary: [Follows SpongeBob to the doorway, while completely filled with jelly.] Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, jellyfi-! [slips on some jelly. Opens a door leading into his living room and sees jellyfish dancing to music. The jellyfish are having a dance party.] Where'd you all come from? [jellyfish form a figure of a hand and the hand grabs SpongeBob. They stick over a light bulb like a disco ball and spin him. Then falls to the ground] Okay, that's it. Party is over! You guys have overstayed your welcome. [As SpongeBob is walking to the stereo, jellyfish form a flight of stairs that SpongeBob walks up and but does not notice] This music is way too loud. [He screams as he falls down. Jellyfish carry SpongeBob in a triangle] Very funny. [jellyfish carry SpongeBob in a rectangle] I'm serious! [Jellyfish carry SpongeBob up and down the screen. The scene then goes to SpongeBob's house bouncing up and down because of the loud party. Squidward's house. Squidward is still lying in his bed, holding a pillow against his face. He has not slept all night.]
  • Squidward: Grr! 18 hours! [falls off his bed, picks up the phone and dials SpongeBob's number] I'm gonna give that SpongeBob a piece of my mind!
  • Jellyfish: [Cut back to the party. The phone rings and a jellyfish picks it up.] [garbled] Hello?
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, listen to me, you square-headed assault on my ears! I've had enough of this! [Jelly squirts through the phone and onto Squidward's face] Strawberry. [Squidward plays his clarinet outside his window] Two can play at this! [plays his clarinet badly. Jellyfish form a smiley face.]
  • SpongeBob: Come on, guys, enough is enough! [SpongeBob hears the clarinet music in the distance.] Huh? [Cuts back to the Jellyfish's smile, but this time, turns into an angry frown when Squidward plays his clarinet] Uh-oh! [Jellyfish sting SpongeBob] Hey, take it easy! Ow! Okay, I'll talk to him! [SpongeBob peeks his head out his window] Squidward! Would it be possible to play your clarinet a little... better? I don't think the jellyfish like it.
  • Squidward: The jellyfish don't like...? [sarcastically] Why, sure, pal, I can play better.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, he said he'll play better. [Squidward's house rotates slowly towards SpongeBob's house. He has a giant amp set behind him. In front of him is a microphone. Squidward inhales deeply as his house stretches, then he plays his clarinet extremely loudly.] Uh-oh! That's not better! [Jellyfish knocks SpongeBob's coral plant over] Hey! Take it easy with that! [The jellyfish knock over his television] Those are my things! [The jellyfish knock over a wall decoration] Don't break th- Dow! [The jellyfish float out of the party and into Squidward's house]
  • Squidward: Uhh, w-wait, I can turn it down. Ow! Ow! Ow! [the jellyfish sting Squidward and float back into SpongeBob's house, returning to their party. A welt-covered Squidward walks up to the door and gives SpongeBob his clarinet] Everybody's a critic. You won't be hearing from me anymore.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, now, that wasn't nice! [jellyfish take the clarinet and snap it in half. A fire forms and they dance around it in a circle. Boat horn toots as SpongeBob finally reaches his breaking point.] Okay, that is it! Everybody out! [He grabs the stereo and runs toward the door but the jellyfish try to take it back so they can party more. Both sides accidentally let go and the stereo falls to floor and shatters into pieces with a crash causing the music to stop. SpongeBob gulps and the jellyfish start to quiver, due to the loss of the music, thus ending their party. SpongeBob stammers. The jellyfish get angry and sting SpongeBob] Come on, Gary! [SpongeBob and Gary head up to the roof. SpongeBob's house vibrates forcefully, and the jellyfish start to swarm around the house.] Gary, you were right. Thanks for not rubbing it in. [SpongeBob looks scared and his teeth chatter. Gary clicks his eyes together making a beat that the jellyfish can dance to.] Huh? They stopped? [holds Gary's eyes together and the jellyfish get angry again. Then he lets go of Gary's eyes and they dance again. Does this a couple more times and notices a trend.] Gary! Don't... stop... shaking it! [takes Gary to Jellyfish Fields. Along the way, SpongeBob has other creatures and things join in the rhythm. Eventually, he gets the jellyfish back home to Jellyfish Fields and he runs back to his home.]
  • Narrator: Today, SpongeBob has learned one of the sea's harshest lessons: wild animals can throw very wild parties. [SpongeBob shakes Gary's eye, congratulating him. Squidward sinks down into his bubble bath as he groans in pain] Ooh, I felt that.
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