In the Mood to Feud/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "In the Mood to Feud" from season 14, which aired on July 16, 2024.

[The episode opens with a shot of SpongeBob's house. It cuts inside, where SpongeBob is carrying a bag of snail food.]
SpongeBob: [humming, pours food into Gary's bowl and tosses the bag, then makes a flower pot out of sand] [with fake French accent] Oh, Gary! Breakfast is served.
Sea mule: [brays off-screen, shaking the screen]
SpongeBob: [Gary arrives] Gary? Ooh, you sure sound different this morning.
Sea mule: [brays off-screen]
SpongeBob: [looks out the window] Ah!
Sea mule: [seen carrying a wooden carriage, brays]
SpongeBob: Oh, it's Narlene's sea mule! [exits from the window] Hey there, buddy. [rubs under the sea mule's head] Did you come to see me?
Sea mule: [brays, then spits out a leaf]
SpongeBob: [catches the leaf, which has writing on it] Huh. "Play me." [the sea mule turns around so SpongeBob can play the record player]
Nobby: [through record player, speaking gibberish] Patrick, Sandy, you--
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: Oh, I speak Nobbese. I'll translate for you. [clears throat, then a wooden background appears along with drawings of everyone] Narlene and Nobby invite you, Patrick, Sandy, and definitely not Squidward [zoom out to reveal a drawing of Bikini Holler] to our family's Annual Bumble Jelly Harvest in Bikini [the character drawings splash into the pool] Holler. This recording will self-destruct in three, [Gary meows and runs away] two, one, ze-- [recording explodes, sending him and the sea mule into the sky] Be a good boy, Gary! [waves] I'll be back later!
Gary: Meow. Meow. [two of his snail friends show up as he wears a spiked collar, and they all go inside]
[Rock music plays as the pineapple house headbangs. Bubble transition to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy being carried by the sea mule to Bikini Holler.]
Sandy: [singing] ♪ Oh, we're on our way to Bikini Holler. ♪
Patrick: [yodels]
SpongeBob: [pointing back] ♪ The road behind us is getting smaller. ♪
Patrick: [yodels]
Sandy: ♪ The grass is green and the trees are taller. ♪
Patrick: [yodels, annoying Sandy] ♪ And I'll stop yodeling for just a dollar. ♪
Sandy: [shoves a dollar into Patrick's mouth]
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [sent into the air after the sea mule stops walking] Whoa!
Sandy: [catches SpongeBob, then sets her down]
Patrick: [lands facefirst on a rock]
Sandy: Why in tarnation are we stopping? Come on, mule. [pulls on the sea mule's harness] Get moving.
Narlene: [jumping from a tree with Nobby] Look out below! [land in the sea mule's carriage]
Sea mule: [exhales]
SpongeBob: Narlene! Nobby!
Narlene: [both crossing arms] In the flesh.
Nobby: [speaking gibberish] In the flesh! Flesh.
Sandy: [waving] Howdy, Narlene and Nobby. [points] Seems your mule just plum stopped moving.
Patrick: [starting a chainsaw] Why don't I open her up and check the engine?
Narlene: [poking Patrick's squishy head] Why do you even have a head, huh?
Patrick: [takes off his head] Uh, it keeps the rain out of my neck hole.
Nobby: [sniffs, then jumps out of the carriage and tosses the sea mule into it, speaking gibberish] Get in!
Sandy: What gives?
Narlene: [pointing] The mule refuses to walk through these parts 'cause this here road goes [points ahead] right through--
Sandy: [reading green wooden sign] "Plankton Territory"?
Narlene: That's right, Planktons. [spits]
SpongeBob: [reading sign underneath] "Narwhals keep out"? [a potato is thrown at the sign, then several Planktons emerge]
Plankton member: [holding a potato] Go home, Narwhals!
Ma Plankton: [points] This here is Plankton land!
Pa Plankton: [points while holding a potato] We don't want your fancy ivory tusks around here! [the potato crushes him]
Narlene: [puts SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy in the carriage as she jumps in] Let's skedaddle!
Nobby: [runs off with the carriage as they narrowly dodge the potatoes]
SpongeBob: Why are they doing this?
Narlene: [wooden background appears with drawings of the Planktons and the Narwhals] Planktons and the Narwhals have been [zoom out to show them throwing things at each other] feuding for generations. [a dotted line appears down the middle, and both sides tug at the coral] They claim the bumble jelly fields are theirs while we know they're ours.
SpongeBob: Why don't you share the fields?
Narlene: Huh. Well, where's the fun in [nudges SpongeBob with her elbow] that? [deflects potatoes with her feet, blows a raspberry]
[They arrive in the bumble jelly fields.]
Narlene: Oh. Here we be, bumble jelly fields.
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [looking at the bumble jellies] Whoa.
Narwhals: [laughing as they hang around on the trees]
Narlene: [off-screen as two narwhals peck a tree to collect jelly] My brothers there peck the trees where the bumble jellies store their jelly. [two female narwhals squeeze jelly into a bucket using their feet] My sisters over there like to squeeze it fresh right out of the hive. [three old narwhals play instruments to get the bumble jellies to squirt jelly into a container] The old folks prefer to serenade the jelly out of the bumbles.
[Narlene and Nobby's mom arrives riding on a barrel. She hops off of it, and Narlene and Nobby's father pops out of the barrel.]
Narlene: SpongeBob, Sandy, meet our ma and pa.
Ma Narwhal: Howdy.
Pa Narwhal: [pointing] Say, man, is that pink city slicker with you?
Patrick: [sucking up an entire tree, swallows, and sighs to let out a bumble jelly]
Pa Narwhal: He sure is brave.
SpongeBob: Brave?
Ma Narwhal: Yup. The only reason the bumble jellies let us collect their jelly is because we allow 'em to sting us. [knocks over her husband, laughs]
Sandy: You let them sting you?
Ma Narwhal: [shows off her sting-covered arm] Darn tootin'!
[In the distance, the narwhals get stung in the air by the bumble jellies.]
Narwhal #1: [screams]
Narwhal #2: Whoo-hoo! I consent.
Narwhal #3: It's worth it.
Patrick: [running] Help!
Pa Narwhal: [puts out his hand to stop Patrick] There, there, son. You gotta hold still to complete the, uh, social contract. [Patrick stands still as several bumble jellies come by to sting him] Well, now that wasn't so bad now, was it?
Patrick: No, sir. [suddenly puffs up]
Ma Narwhal: Ooh!
Patrick: [screams, laughs with the narwhal parents as a tear comes out of his eye]
Narwhals: [pouring bumble jelly into a giant container] Bumble jelly, bumble jelly, bumble jelly.
Narwhal: I declare that this here is a bountiful bumper crop of beautiful bumble [tosses bucket away] jelly. [takes off his tusk and blows into it like a horn]
Narwhals: [cheering]
Narlene: Harvest time is over. [jumps] Let the bumble jelly festival commence!
Nobby: [picks up the carriage as he and Narlene dance, speaking gibberish] Festival!
[Bumble jelly drops onto the screen as the scene transitions to everyone at the festival. Some narwhals carve their tusks into different objects.]
Narwhal: [plays trumpet tusk]
[SpongeBob and Patrick are then seen eating bumble jelly from the jar. Patrick pulls off his jar from his mouth, which ends up on his head. Nobby is seen in a bumble jelly ring with other narwhals, all holding banjos. He hits a narwhal off the screen. He then hits three more narwhals off-screen, then he and another narwhal play banjo music next to each other. Nobby hits the narwhal off-screen as well.]
Female narwhal: Ooh!
[SpongeBob pours bumble jelly into Sandy's helmet, which she puts on to eat it. SpongeBob chugs bumble jelly from the container.]
SpongeBob and Sandy: [swallow and burp]
Ma Narwhal: [wrestles with another narwhal in a mini bumble jelly pool, then they both emerge laughing]
Patrick: [landing in the pool] Jelly flop!
[Bumble jelly covers the screen again as the scene changes to Narlene making a bumble jelly sculpture of her head while SpongeBob and Sandy are nearby.]
Narlene: Mm-hmm.
SpongeBob: [holding a bumble jelly popsicle] Good contour. Strong structure. A very bold mold. [eats the popsicle, points] Hey, why is your cousin in the long trench coat tipping over that jelly barrel?
[Pan over to someone in a trench coat with a corn cob trying to push over a barrel.]
Narlene: Wait a sec. [points] That ain't no cousin.
Person in trench coat: [tips over the jelly barrel, making it spill, then reveals themselves to be several Planktons in a trench coat; the center Plankton spits out the corn cob in its mouth]
Narlene: [off-screen] It's Planktons!
Narwhals: Planktons!
Plankton member: [pointing] Let 'em have it!
[The Planktons disperse and start attacking everyone with potatoes as they run away.]
All: [shouting]
[A narwhal lifts up the miniature pool so two other narwhals can hide inside to dodge the potato rain. Pa Narwhal hides inside his barrel.]
Female narwhal: [screaming as she and a male narwhal jump into a well]
Ma Narwhal: We've got ourselves a feud! [her tusk gets hit with a potato] Oh! Lordy Neptune! I've been spud smacked! [faints]
All: [shouting]
[A Plankton member loads a potato onto a potato catapult, then another jumps on the other end to launch them. The other Plankton gets crushed. Other Planktons use a potato cannon created from a furnace.]
Plankton member: [as another holds a lit match to the furnace] Fire in the hole. [the potato cannon activates]
Blue Plankton: [laughs]
Granny Plankton: [plays the baseball theme on an organ]
[Several Planktons put potatoes in the organ pipes as they get launched.]
Clem: [gets crushed by a potato, then gets launched with it; waves his hat in the air] Yeehaw! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! [lands on the ground with the potato, then runs off laughing]
[SpongeBob, Sandy, Narlene, and Nobby emerge from the tractor.]
SpongeBob: What do we do now?
Narlene: Them Planktons can throw all the potatoes in the ocean at us. We've got us something special that'll give us a [bangs fist] decisive victory.
Nobby: [speaking gibberish] Secret weapon.
Narlene: [nodding]
[A metal tower emerges from a giant barrel building.]
Pa Plankton: [with an empty bag] We need more taters!
[In the distance, the tower lets out a bunch of smoke.]
Ma Plankton: [both looking up as a shadow covers them] Oh, no! [a giant cluster of shoes is seen in the sky] Everyone take cover! It's shoes! [both get crushed by a shoe]
Planktons: [screaming and running away from the falling shoes]
Plankton member #1: [as a shoe falls on him and another Plankton] Well, this stinks.
Plankton member #2: [screaming as he runs away from tap dancing shoes, which come to crush him]
[The shoe avalanche is shown falling in a wide open shot.]
Narlene: [takes off the long part of a high heel and throws it, and puts her hand to her ear as it explodes]
SpongeBob: [inhales a bunch of potatoes and shoots them out of his pores]
Sandy: [deflects a bunch of potatoes with her tail]
Nobby: [spins a shoe and tosses it, creating an off-screen explosion]
Narlene: [looking at a shoe box with a giant hole in it] Oh, no. [puts her head in the hole] I'm out of shoes. We plum tossed 'em all.
[The smoke clears up as rhythmic footsteps are heard.]
SpongeBob: What's that sound?
Narlene: I don't rightly know. Sounds like shoes.
[The ground shakes as the rhythmic footsteps continue. A rock gets crushed by a boot as the Planktons appear wearing shoes.]
Pa Plankton: [waving a white flag] We'd like a truce. Ain't no reason Narwhals and Plankton can't share the fields. Besides, we ran out of ammo thanks to your tater-eating city slicker.
Patrick: [with a giant belly, gets carried by Planktons and tossed to the ground, groans]
Narlene: Nice work, Patrick.
Patrick: [weakly] It was an honor [salutes] to serve.
Pa Narwhal: [rubbing chin] A truce, eh? Well, seeing as how we're all out of shoes.
Ma Plankton: You want 'em back?
Ma Narwhal: Oh, heck. You can keep 'em. Besides, we ain't found much use for 'em.
[Several narwhals hold up their grotesque bare feet as they wiggle them.]
SpongeBob: What happens now?
Narlene: The annual post-feud party.
SpongeBob: Annual? You mean you do this every year?
Narlene: [pats SpongeBob's head] Sure do. It's fun. Why, didn't y'all have fun?
Sandy: We did not have fun. [wraps her arm around SpongeBob] We had...
SpongeBob and Sandy: The best day ever!
All: [cheering]
Patrick: [groans]
Pa Plankton: [playing violin as everyone dances]
Female Plankton: [jumps onto a barrel, playing her antennae like an instrument]
[The camera pans to the right to show everyone celebrating.]
Nobby: [off-screen] Whoo-hoo! [vocalizing to the song] ♪ Bumble jelly. [a narwhal dips his horn into a potato in a barrel of bumble jelly; a fat Plankton and narwhal chug barrels of jelly] Bumble jelly. Bumble jelly. Bumble jelly. Bumble jelly. Bumble jelly. [an old man Narwhal sits at a table with a little girl Plankton on the other side, who grows a giant arm muscle to overtake the old man's arm muscle; seen dancing with Narlene; the old man Narwhal is thrown into the air] Bumble jelly. ♪
SpongeBob and Sandy: [dancing around Patrick, vocalizing] ♪ Bumble jelly. Bumble jelly. ♪
Nobby: [off-screen, vocalizing] Hey!
[Two bumble jellies dance with each other.]
Nobby: [off-screen] Bumble jelly! [the camera irises out]