This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "In Search of Camp Noodist" from season 1, which aired on March 4, 2021.
- [The episode begins at Kamp Koral, where all the campers are bored while Perch Perkins announces that there are no activities for the day.]
- Perch Perkins: There are no activities scheduled for today, Koral Kampers. I repeat, there's nothing to do, and I'm bored.
- Sandy: Eh... I wish the adults had planned some activities for today.
- Patrick: Yeah! No activities means no something.
- Sandy: I'm more bored than a steer in a fashion show.
- SpongeBob: Ah... Well, I could watch you two be bored for hours.
- Squidward: You know, you kids just don't get it. This is great. I get to spend all day with my three favorite campers. Me, myself, and I. [laughs]
- Narlene: [speaking from a tree stump] Psst. [Sandy and Patrick scream] Y'all looking for something to do?
- Patrick: Yes, magic stump. Please, anything. [Narlene jumps out from the stump causing SpongeBob to scream]
- Narlene: [laughs] It's just Narlene, y'all. And have I got a doozy of an adventure for you. Have y'all ever seen a nudist camp?
- SpongeBob: Nudist camp? What's that?
- Narlene: Why, it's an entire camp of folk who like to wander around in their birthday suits, like, totally naked. [SpongeBob and Patrick laugh, Sandy sighs]
- Patrick: [laughing] She said suit!
- Sandy: That's ridiculous. Who lets the sun sine where the sun don't shine?
- Narlene: Oh, it's ridiculous alright, ridiculously real!
- Sandy: Well then, this I gotta see. You know, for science. Where is it?
- Narlene: Well that's where the adventure comes in. [Nobby jumps out from the stump and starts drawing a map on the ground] You've gotta follow the path into the dark, scary woods where you find the rock that looks like your grumpy pal over there.
- Squidward: Hmph.
- Narlene: Take a right, and if you fall into the bottomless chasm, well, then you've gone too far. [Nobby jumps back into the stump]
- Sandy: Alrighty, y'all. Let's take a minute to study Narlene's map.
- Patrick: No need. I've got a phonographic memory.
- Sandy: But Patrick, shouldn't we take a closer look?
- Patrick: Phonographic! [walks off, but Sandy and SpongeBob don't follow, he then grabs Sandy and SpongeBob]
- Sandy and SpongeBob: Whoa!
- Patrick: It's this way. [Narlene laughs as she enters the stump again]
- Mr. Krabs: Ah, peace and quiet. [drinks his coffee] Wait a second, kids ain't quiet! [runs to Squidward] Counselor, where is everyone?!
- Squidward: My cabin snuck off looking for some sort of nudist camp.
- Mr. Krabs: They what?! [grabs Squidward and starts to stretch him] Those kids ain't ready to bear witness to the harsh realities of the adult form. If it drives them batty, their parents'll blame me. Eww. Come on, we've gotta stop those campers before they get a peak at that darn hippie hoo-ha show.
- Squidward: Oh, no, this is a free day. I am not leaving this chair.
- Mr. Krabs: I can work with that. [Mr. Krabs starts walking and Squidward follows with his head stuck in his chair]
- [The bubble transition goes to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy laughing as they walk in the woods.]
- SpongeBob: Okay, who am I? [blows up to a bubble imitating Mrs. Puff] Oh, my. No running in the camp, children.
- Sandy: [laughs] That's a spot-on Mrs. Puff there, SpongeBob. [imitates Mr. Krabs] Campin' ain't free. Where's me money? [does Mr. Krabs' laugh]
- [all three of them laugh.]
- SpongeBob: Camp Master Krabs.
- Patrick: My turn. Oh, oh, uh... [starts drooling]
- SpongeBob: Oh, you must be... Patrick!
- Patrick: I am? [SpongeBob and Sandy laugh, Patrick soon follows]
- SpongeBob: Oh, look! Is that the Squidward rock Narlene was talking about?
- Patrick: Oh yeah. That's him.
- Sandy: Definitely Squidward, yes.
- SpongeBob: Then a-starboard we shall go. So what do you guys think it'll be like?
- Sandy: Well, this could be my biggest scientific expedition yet. Just think of how much I'll learn about fish anatomy. Mm-hmm.
- Patrick: And I want to eat nude food. Oh, let me help you with that.
- SpongeBob: Well, I just wanted to go hiking with two of my best friends. It's a shame my other best friend isn't here. Mr. Tentacles loves the woods.
- [Cuts to Mr. Krabs and Squidward walking through the woods.]
- Squidward: I hate the woods. Bugs are biting me. [a bug bites him] Someone left trash everywhere. [kicks a rock] And the trees keep messing with me.
- Mr. Krabs: Ah, don't be paranoid. It's just nature.
- Squidward: Oh, it's just... [two trees hit Squidward and he falls to the ground, the trees laugh] What the? Hmm...
- Mr. Krabs: Quit your lollygagging back there, Counselor. Which way are we going?
- Squidward: Well, we're supposed to turn right at the rock that looks like me.
- Mr. Krabs: You mean like this one? Looks just like you, don't it?
- Squidward: Huh? Hmm... [points to another rock that looks like him] Hmm. Ahem.
- Mr. Krabs: Hmm, are you sure? I still think that other rock was the one. [Squidward sighs]
- [The bubble transition goes to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy popping out of tall grass.]
- Sandy: These woods are thicker than granny's molasses. I hate to say it fellas, but I think we're lost.
- Patrick: Don't worry. I'll just use my phonographic memory. [a hand smashes a record player in his head] Oh, we're doomed! [starts running around and then hits a tree, Narlene then comes out of a hole in the tree]
- Narlene: Well, hey there, gang! [SpongeBob screams] Whatcha doin' way out here? Y'all are mighty fatr off course.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Narlene, we're lost. We can't remember what your map said to do.
- Narlene: Well, well, well, if y'all still want to see the nudist camp, there is a shortcut. But it's dangerous.
- SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: D-d-d-dangerous?
- Narlene: That's right. You're going to have to use that old log to cross that old bottomless chasm. The camp's in a clearing just beyond. Well, good luck, y'all. [laughs as she returns to the hole in the tree]
- [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy walk up to the old log]
- SpongeBob: Hmm. [touches the old log and it moves] Ooh, um, it doesn't seem very safe.
- Patrick: Don't be a baby, SpongeBob. [he walks on the old log]
- Sandy: Careful, Patrick!
- [Patrick starts performing tricks on the old log, then goes back to SpongeBob and Sandy.]
- Patrick: After you.
- [SpongeBob crosses the log carefully while holding Sandy's hand, they make it over safely. Patrick takes one step on the log, it breaks, and he falls into the chasm.]
- Patrick: [screams] Oh, oh, oh, oh!
- [SpongeBob and Sandy speak at the same time.]
- SpongeBob: Patrick!
- Sandy: Oh no!
- [Patrick then comes back up from the chasm.]
- Patrick: See? Perfectly safe. [his arm falls off]
- [The bubble transition goes to Mr. Krabs and Squidward walking through the woods.]
- Squidward: [panting] Ugh. Oh, that's it. I can't take any more nature. You'll have to go on without me.
- Mr. Krabs: Okay.
- Squidward: What?
- [Mr. Krabs walks off whistling.]
- Squidward: What? Wait, hey! Don't leave me alone out here. I'm defenseless.
- Mr. Krabs: Good point. This'll protect you from wild animals. Not that there's any wild animals out here. Alright, I gotta go stop those kids from ruining their innocence. Be back for you soon. [Mr. Krabs leaves, a bunny enters with a knife and fork, Squidward gets scared.]
- [The bubble transition goes to Mr. Krabs walking up to what he thinks is the nudist camp.]
- Mr. Krabs: Hello, there. This must be the nudist camp?
- Incidental 36: What makes you say that?
- Mr. Krabs: Well, you are nude.
- Incidental 36: Actually, I'm only partially nude. [walks out to reveal he is still wearing pants] I like to think of myself as a bridge between the clothed and the unclothed, between the fabric and the flesh, born of two worlds but belonging to neither.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, I'm from the fully clothed camp up the road, and I'll just need to take a quick look around so...
- Incidental 36: Yeah, I don't think so.
- Mr. Krabs: Whoa, hey, what ever happened to professional courtesy? You won't let a fellow Camp Master in?
- Incidental 36: Oh, you can go in, just, uh, not wearing that.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh. Oh boy.
- [The bubble transition goes to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy coming out of the forest]
- Sandy: Dangnabbit. This is where Narlene said the camp would be. There ain't nothing here. [Narlene appears]
- Narlene: You sure about that? [SpongeBob screams. Nobby appears speaking incoherently] Step right this way. Feast your eyes on... The new-dust camp. [shows a camp made out of dust, Narlene and Nobby laugh] Get it? New dust. Just look at all them dusty little campers. We made 'em with our own dust. [makes a new cabin using Nobby's head dust, SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick sigh] And this here's the old-dust camp. [Narlene and Nobby laugh]
- Sandy: Alright, Narlene, you had your fun. Great joke. Come on, boys. Let's go home.
- Narlene: Oh, don't be sore now, y'all. We was just messin' with ya. The real camp's right over there. You should have seen your faces, though. [Narlene and Nobby laugh.]
- [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy run to the nudist camp, running over Narlene and Nobby's dust camps]
- Narlene and Nobby: [sigh]
- [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy each put an eye into the nudist camp, they see two nude fish, as their real-life counterparts, playing volleyball.]
- Sandy: It's even stranger than I imagined.
- [They see nude fish around the campfire, then they see nude fish tanning.]
- SpongeBob: Boy, fish sure look weird without clothes on, huh?
- [They look up and see a nude fish paragliding.]
- Patrick: Yeah, especially that big ugly guy over there.
- SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: [scream] Mr. Krabs?!
- Mr. Krabs: [screams] Okay, listen. Being a single father of a giant baby, [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy look disgusted] it-it just doesn't leave much time for exercise, or eating well, or... Oh, never mind! Just get back to camp immediately. [walks off] And if anyone asks, this never happened.
- Patrick: Well, how embarrassing for him. [Patrick is now naked]
- Sandy: Patrick! Where are your pants?
- Patrick: I don't want them anymore, I'm free! [runs off being followed by SpongeBob and Patrick]
- SpongeBob: No! Patrick, come back! Hey, at least put on shoes.
- Patrick: Never! [Narlene laughs, gets into a tree stump, and closes the latch.]