Hot Pearl-tato/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Hot Pearl-tato" from season 1, which aired on March 4, 2021.

[Mr. Krabs is heard singing indistinctly as he is seen with two stacks of money at his desk. Pearl is playing in her crib next to him. Mr. Krabs merges the two money stacks, and picks up a dollar bill. There are germs on the dollar bill, which are squealing.]
Mr. Krabs: Ew, this money's covered in kid germs. [patting Pearl on the head] Papa will see you later, Pearly-kins. [taking money with him outside the cabin] Who needs a bath? Precious little babies need a bath. [crashing is heard inside the cabin] [gasps and runs back inside to see that Pearl has made a mess]
Pearl: [popping out of a file cabinet drawer, laughing]
Mr. Krabs: What a mess. [Pearl grabs onto the ceiling fan and starts swinging] [putting money in his pants] [carrying Pearl, walking away] I can't leave you alone. We better find you a babysitter. [outside, holding Pearl, looking around] Now, which one of these campers can I con into-- I mean, convince to babysit you?
[Two campers are seen being hit back and forth with a swinging ball on a pole. Another camper is in a boat with a hole in it, and she is using a bucket to toss the water out. Patrick is licking some sea grass. Mr. Krabs sighs.]
SpongeBob: [approaching] Hey, Camp Master Krabs, I can [tries to tie a knot] finally tie an oysterman's half hitch bubble line slip bend knot. [strangles himself with the rope]
Mr. Krabs: [unraveling SpongeBob] Sorry, kid, but I'm a little busy right now. [SpongeBob inhales] I have to find a sitter.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm a great sitter. [runs over to sit on top of a pole, meditating] Ohm. See? [the wind blows him off and onto Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Ow. That's nice, but I don't think you're babysitting [uses eyestalks to toss SpongeBob off] material.
SpongeBob: Oh, I love babysitting. [whispering to Mr. Krabs] Just between you and me, I used to be a baby.
Mr. Krabs: No thanks, camper. I need someone more responsibler than you.
[Cut to the Yacht Cabin, where Miss Upturn is sitting down. Regigille is serving her food on a plate.]
Regigille: Casholi, madame?
Upturn: Oh! [picks up a "casholi"]
Mr. Krabs: [walking up to the Yacht Cabin, holding Pearl] Hmm... those campers in the yacht cabin are rich. They must be trustworthy. [approaches, clears throat] [reaches for a casholi, but Regigille slams the platter shut] Ow! [chuckles] Greetings, Counselor Upturn. [holding out Pearl] Could you look after me beloved baleen baby for the day?
Upturn: Hmm, I don't think--
Mr. Krabs: [interrupting, placing Pearl on Upturn's lap] That it would be a problem? That's fantast-er-ic. [holds up air bottle] Just be sure to give Pearl her air bottle on time or she can get, you know, a little air slappy.
Pearl: [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: [walking away, from a distance] And make sure you don't give Pearl to SpongeBob!
Upturn: Would you take care of this for me, Regigilled?
Regigille: Oh, I'm so sorry, miss, but I don't wash windows or sit babies. [hides himself in a silver platter]
Upturn: Oh. [taking Pearl into the cabin, who is babbling] [shuts the door]
SpongeBob: [peeking from behind the chair, giggles]
Upturn: [holding Pearl] Eww. Ugh.
Rea: [sitting on a sofa with Roh] Oh, Missy. You really do have the strangest taste in fashion accessories.
Upturn: She's not an accessory. She's Mr. Krabs'... [Pearl farts] Ugh, progeny. [Pearl bites on her necklace] [pulling Pearl away] That's not a teething ring. [the necklace breaks apart]
[Pearl spits out one last necklace bead, which bounces all over the room, making everyone yelp. The bead hits Upturn in the butt.]
Upturn: Ugh. You, my dear, are a little too crass for our cabin. You belong somewhere with no manners at all-- someplace uncouth.
[Cut to a shot of a board game, titled "Escape From Mom's Basement: The Game." At the Pontoon Cabin, Kevin, Bubble Bass, and Harvey are playing said board game. Harvey roles a die.]
Bubble Bass: [claps] Well played, young Harvey. You've survived the cardboard boxes of doom. But can you conquer the stairs of procrastination? [someone knocks on the door] [answering the door] Excuse me. We are engaged in a life-or-death game of Escape from Mom's Basement, deluxe edition.
Upturn: [holding Pearl, irritated] Well, now you are playing Hot Pearl-tato.
Bubble Bass: Does it come with instructions? [Upturn gives Pearl to him] Ew!
Upturn: [runs away, forming a dust cloud] [off-screen] Yes! Don't give her to SpongeBob!
Bubble Bass: Hmm. [shuts the door]
SpongeBob: [pressed up against the cabin's wall] [giggles]
Bubble Bass: [carrying Pearl] It would appear our tournament [sets Pearl down] has gained a new player. [gives Pearl the die] You may roll when ready, [pats Pearl] young basement dweller.
Pearl: [ingests the die, then spits it out]
Kevin, Harvey, and Bubble Bass: Oh.
Bubble Bass: Holy hit points. [Kevin claps] [close-up of the die] The newbie's rolled a 20.
Pearl: [appears distressed]
Bubble Bass: Child appears to be in some kind of distress.
Pearl: [poops in diaper, expanding it] [sighs]
Bubble Bass: I hope that diaper is two-ply.
[Scene cuts to the exterior of the cabin, where a flood is seen occurring.]
Bubble Bass: [off-screen] A critical hit!
[Bubble transition to Bubble Bass holding Pearl, knocking on the door of the Barge Cabin. The anchovies answer.]
Anchovy: Meep?
Bubble Bass: [giving Pearl to the anchovies] Could you watch her for me? Our basement has a flooding issue. [walking away] Oh, and don't give her to SpongeBob.
Anchovies: [meeping, close door]
Pearl: [off-screen] Num-num [chomps]
Anchovies: [meep in panic] [open the door and form a line, and each anchovy hands Pearl over to the next in line until Pearl spits out the last one holding the air bottle]
SpongeBob: [taking Pearl] Of course I'll watch her over you. [taking bottle] And I'll make sure she has her bottle. [anchovies walk away] Don't worry. I won't give her to SpongeBob. [laughs]
[Bubble transition to Patrick and Sandy playing chess at their cabin when the door is heard opening. Patrick laughs.]
Sandy: Ugh!
SpongeBob: [with Pearl] Hi, guys. Guess who came for a visit?
Sandy: [irritated] Sorry, SpongeBob, we're busy playing chess and somehow, Patrick has won 37 games in a row.
Patrick: [playing with a chess piece] I love chess. It's so gooey and melty. It's great on pizza.
Sandy: [cow moos] That's cheese. Not chess.
Patrick: Oh. [holds up a chess sandwich] That's why my sandwich tasted funny. [takes a bite out of the sandwich]
SpongeBob: Okay. [walks into Squidward's room]
Squidward: [playing clarinet out of tune] [pointing] Get out.
SpongeBob: Oh, stop. Mr. Tentacles is such a kidder.
Squidward: [plays the clarinet in front of Pearl, who likes his playing]
SpongeBob: Oh, Pearl really likes your imitation of a dying manatee, Squidward.
Squidward: It's called jazz! [continues playing]
[Pearl blows into the clarinet, inflating Squidward's head. Squidward does the same thing to her, and vice versa again. They both blow into the clarinet and SpongeBob inflates instead. Squidward then inflates again and deflates.]
SpongeBob: Isn't she the cutest little beluga-wuga?
Squidward: [shoving SpongeBob] Why don't you take your little beluga-wuga [shoves SpongeBob and Pearl out of his room] out for a walk? Hmph!
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob holding Pearl, taking her for a walk outside. SpongeBob starts getting exhausted.]
SpongeBob: Whew, you're getting [sets Pearl down] heavy. I got to think of a different way to carry you around. [a thought bubble appears with Pearl in a bulldozer's scoop] Uh, nope. [a thought bubble of SpongeBob walking a sea bear with Pearl on top appears] No. [a thought bubble of SpongeBob holding a stroller appears] Ah. [takes the stroller from the thought bubble] [waving to the thought bubble SpongeBob, who waves back] Thank you. [blows the thought cloud away]
Pearl: [waving] Bye-bye.
SpongeBob: [puts Pearl in the stroller, and Nobby and Narlene appear from a swinging vine]
Narlene: [waving] How do, Camper SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: [waving back] Oh, hi, Narlene.
Narlene: [looking in the stroller] What you got in the buggy?
SpongeBob: [off-screen as Pearl babbles] Oh, that's little baby Pearl.
Narlene: Hm, that's a big old baby. I could just eat her right up!
SpongeBob: [gasps as Pearl starts seeing stars and becomes dizzy] Someone's getting a little air slappy. Time for her air bottle. [grabs air bottle] Ooh, better check the temperature. [squeezes the bottle to see it is empty] Oh, now where am I going to get more air?
Narlene: Don't you fret, SpongeBob. Your old pal Narlene has just the thing. [pulls away Nobby's hat to reveal an air tank] I happen to have a vintage bottle of air right here. [blows the dust off of the air tank, making SpongeBob cough]
SpongeBob: [gives Narlene the bottle] Oh, what luck.
[As Narlene fills the air bottle with air from the tank, Nobby hops onto the stroller.]
Pearl: [babbling]
Nobby: [shaking head] Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
Pearl: [babbling, holding up a five dollar bill]
Nobby: [speaking affirmative gibberish] [gives thumbs up, takes the money, and winks]
[Nobby and Pearl giggle. Nobby enters the stroller as Pearl walks off.]
Narlene: Here you go, youngin.
SpongeBob: [taking back the bottle] Narlene, how could I ever repay you?
Narlene: Oh, don't you fret none, SpongeBob. I'll just take one of these. [takes one of SpongeBob's front teeth, which grows back] [putting the tooth in her mouth] This will bye my sunny go-to-meeting tooth.
SpongeBob: Okay, Pearly-wearly. [feeding the bottle to Nobby] Time to breathe your num-nums. Oh, hi, Nobby. [surprised] Nobby? [takes Nobby out of the stroller and looks inside] [Nobby burps] Where's Pearl?
Nobby: [bouncing, speaking gibberish]
Narlene: [pointing] Don't you worry none, SpongeBob. See, Nobby says little Pearl is just going off on a little ramble through the forest.
SpongeBob: Oh, thank Neptune. [panicked] Little ramble through the forest? [screams and runs off]
Narlene: That boy should not be watching children. He's irresponsible. [mounts the air tank while holding Nobby, and they fly through the air] Whee!
SpongeBob: [opening cabin door, panting]
Patrick: [burps out a chess piece, landing on a tile, causing a checkmate]
Sandy: [enraged, eyes expand, pupils disappear]
Patrick: Ah, that's a cheese mate.
Sandy: [shouting, grabbing tail] That's checkmate!
SpongeBob: Sandy, I lost baby Pea--
Sandy: [interrupting] Not now, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Uh, okay, I'll go ask Squidward. [opens Squidward's door]
[Squidward is making a clay sculpture of his head.]
SpongeBob: [panicked] Mr. Tentacles, I took baby Pearl for a walk, but she was too heavy, imagined a stroller, time for bottle, out of the air. Narlene... [blows] Num-bums, but she was gone! [crying] I lost baby Pearl!
Squidward: Yeah, that's nice. [his clay sculpture slaps him in the face] You lost Pearl? [sweating] Oh, Krabs is going to annihilate us.
[Cut to SpongeBob and Squidward outside, near the stroller.]
SpongeBob and Squidward: [calling out] Pearl! Baby Pearl!
SpongeBob: Hmm. Oh! Pearl loved those weird sounds you make. Try playing some more.
Squidward: It's called jazz! Hmph. [plays clarinet off tune] [some clams fly away, cawing]
SpongeBob: [pointing] She's that way. [puts Squidward in the stroller and pushes him] [laughs] [they find Pearl sitting on top of a coral tree] Pearl, there you are. [holding out arms] Come to SpongeBob.
[Pearl slides down, and walks into the coral tree, dizzy. She continues on walking.]
SpongeBob: Oh, no! [grabs bottle] She needs her air bottle.
[SpongeBob and Squidward run after Pearl, who bounces on some jellyfish. SpongeBob and Squidward get zapped on each jellyfish they bounce on. Pearl floats above a rock geyser, then slides back down. SpongeBob does the same, but Squidward falls on top of it. SpongeBob tries to pull him out, but the geyser sends them both into the air. They both land on a giant sea moose. Squidward plays his clarinet again, waking up and angering the snail. Pearl is still dizzy, bumping into rocks.]
SpongeBob and Squidward: [pointing] There she goes! [run off the snail, making it exhale in anger]
SpongeBob: [holding Pearl] Gotcha, you little wiggle whale.
[SpongeBob and Squidward get picked up and thrown by the sea moose, which uses them as paddle balls on its antlers. The air bottle drops directly into Pearl's blowhole, turning her back to normal. She sees SpongeBob and Squidward being beaten by the snail, and grows large muscles. She punches the sea moose into the air, and releases a large air bubble. The sea moose floats down, trapped in the bubble.]
[Bubble transition to Pearl on top of the sea moose, which is pushing SpongeBob and Squidawrd in the stroller, both asleep.]
Pearl: [pats the sea moose, then slides off] Whee-ooh! [the sea moose leaves] Bye-bye. [falls asleep]
Mr. Krabs: [walking up to the cabin, sees Pearl sleeping on the Yacht Cabin's porch chair as Upturn opens the door] Great work, Camper Upturn. [places a badge onto Upturn's uniform] This babysitting badge is well-deserved. Ooh.
Upturn: [camera zooms into the babysitting badge] How vile.
Pearl: [shoots two beads into Upturn's eyes]
Mr. Krabs: [walking up to stroller, holding Pearl] And as for you two, instead of sleeping all day, you should be more responsibler, [gestures to Upturn] like Missy here.
Upturn: Hmph! [slams door shut]
Pearl: [Mr. Krabs walks away with her] [waving] Bye-bye!
Patrick: [running by with the chess board] [cheering] Cheese mate!
Sandy: [screaming, running after Patrick, who laughs]
[The camera irises out as the episode ends.]