This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Merry Nickmas short "Holiday Party," which aired on December 4, 2002.

  • Snow-woman: If I live to be a trillion and two I will never forget the year Goddard the 200-Watt Dog saved Nickmas. But we all know that story. What we don't know is the good stuff, what happened at the after-party. It all started here at Santa's workshop. Everyone was there: Yukon Chinelius, Winter Squidlock, The Abominable Starfish, even jolly ol' Saint Nick himself.
  • Saint Nick: Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho.
  • Rapper Krabs: K to the R to the A to the B to the B to the Y. That's krabby!
  • Snow-woman: The joint was jumping, the music was pumping, and the whole shindig was catered by Donner and Blitzen. So, naturally, things started getting juicy. There was gossip.
  • SpongeBob the Elf: I don't want to be an elf. I want to be a fry cook.
  • Elf That Looks Like Jorgen Von Strangle: A fry cook? [talking to Jimmy Neutron] SpongeBob wants to be a fry cook.
  • Elf That Looks Like Jimmy Neutron: [talking to Zim] SpongeBob wants to be a fry cook.
  • Elf That Looks Like Invader Zim: Who's SpongeBob? Tell me!
  • Snow-woman: There was flirting.
  • Chinelius: [talking to Debbie Thornberry] There I was, Sweet Cheeks, cornered with the vicious and ferocious Abominable Starfish of the north. [Tommy is jumping up and down on Abominable Starfish's belly]
  • Snow-woman: And, whoo, there were embarrassing photos. [pictures of SpongeBob ripping his pants, Plankton underneath the mistletoe with Helga, and Goddard peeing on a present] But somehow, through it all, they managed to remember the true meaning of the holiday season. [everyone is holding hands around the Christmas tree] To put aside our differences, join together, and fight for presents! [everyone fights and gets their presents] From all of us to all of you, Happy...
  • Voiceover: Insert holiday choice here...
  • All: you!
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