Hill-Fu/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Hill-Fu" from season 1, which aired on September 30, 2022.

[The episode begins with campers playing sports with each other.]
Perch: [from loudspeaker] Attention, Koral Kampers, it's time once again for the annual Foam-Fisted Fight to the Finish! You know what that means-- [gets tackled by Sandy]
Sandy: [on mic, wearing karate gear] It means hide your nuts and cover your butts! Sandy's a-comin!
[A camper buries his bag of peanuts under the sand and places Elwood on top of them, running away covering his butt. The other campers scream and run into their cabins. Another camper hides in a trash can. Three campers hide inside a coral tree and move away with them.]
Sandy: Hmm...
SpongeBob: [making a sand castle, which turns into a pagoda] Yup.
Sandy: Uh-huh. Hi-ya![jumping in air, trampling sand castle, does karate moves]
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Sandy. What's with all the cool [punches air] punching and [kicks air] kicking and stuff?
Sandy: I'm just brushing up on my moves. [points to herself] My knowledge of karate's gonna make winning this year's tournament a piece of cake. And at the end of the day, the only camper left standing will be me-- just like every summer.
SpongeBob: [looks at Sandy's karate badges] Ooh! Gosh, Sandy, that karate badge looks neat. You think I've got what it takes to earn one?
Sandy: [laughs, shoves SpongeBob aside] Don't be silly. [doing karate moves, intimidating SpongeBob] You're no match for my Tail of Fury style!
SpongeBob: Ooh! [Sandy's tail brushes him, turns around] Uh, yes? Who is it?
Sandy: Hi-ya! [hits SpongeBob, making his head spin] Don't worry, SpongeBob. If it makes you feel better, I'll leave you for my last victim. [laughs, runs off]
SpongeBob: [gulps, slumps] I don't think that makes me feel better.
Sandy: Yah! [slices SpongeBob in half, cuing transition]
SpongeBob: [walking] Man, that karate badge is so cool. But how can I possibly get one?
Sandy: [doing karate moves] Come on out, Bubble Bass. It's time to take your lumps.
Bubble Bass, Harvey, and Kevin: [all yell and leap out of cabin door wearing karate gear]
Bubble Bass: Your tough words are for naught, Sandra. There is no way you will defeat our Comic Book style. [screen turns cinematic] Yah!
Sandy: Wah!
[Bubble Bass starts to attack, and a comic book panel of him appears. Kevin follows, and so does Harvey. They are all only in karate poses, and have not actually attacked.]
Sandy: [pushing everyone over] Sorry, boys, you gotta do more than post. [runs off] Y'all will have to practice harder for next year.
SpongeBob: Of course! If I practice enough by the end of the day, maybe I can win that badge.
Sandy: [approaches] Hi, SpongeBob! Be beatin' you later! [leaps away]
SpongeBob: [gulps, whimpers]
[Sandy chops SpongeBob in half again as it cues a transition to SpongeBob placing a sea bunny in karate gear on a stump.]
SpongeBob: [laughs] Okay, Mr. Sea Bunny, you stay there, and I'll practice my moves on you.
Sea bunny: [looks cute]
SpongeBob: [does karate moves on sea bunny, then gets exhausted]
Sea bunny: [whips SpongeBob back and forth, chuckles, hops away]
[Narlene and Nobby come by, swinging on a vine.]
Nobby: [picks up leaf, which he gives to Narlene while speaking gibberish]
Narlene: [looking at leaf] Hmm... Naw, this leaf ain't fancy enough. We'll have to keep on lookin'. [approaching SpongeBob, who is still upside down] Hmm... [tickles SpongeBob with leaf] Coochie choochie coo!
SpongeBob: [laughs] Hi, Narlene. What are you doing here?
Narlene: We're lookin' for fancy bits [turns around to show snake design on jacket] to make the family feudin' jacket even more fearsome. [tiger roars, laughs] [points at SpongeBob] Why ya nappin' on your noodle like that, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, I was practicing so I can defeat Sandy and win the karate badge this year. Too bad I'm not good enough at martial arts to win it.
Narlene: [steps on SpongeBob, spinning him and making him sit] Oh, that t'ain't a problem. [Nobby hops on stump, points to him] You just need to study under the right master. You wanna talk to [points to Nobby with foot] Nobby here. He's a master of [punches air] Hill-Fu!
SpongeBob: Hill-Fu?
Nobby: [dives, digging into the sand, and emerges doing karate moves as a coral tree is sliced in half, bows]
SpongeBob: [gets up] Teach me everything, Master-- [trips on own karate glove and falls]
Narlene and Nobby: [cover mouths and laugh]
[Karate glove transition to the trio in a fenced area with a sea mule.]
Sea mule: [brays]
Nobby: [speaking gibberish to SpongeBob, kicks like a donkey]
Narlene: [sitting on fence] Nobby says, "To defeat your opponent, you gotta kick like a sea mule!"
SpongeBob: [giving thumbs up] Kick like a sea mule! Roger! [kicks boot like a sea mule, which ricochets into the sea mule's butt]
Narlene and Nobby: Uh-oh.
Sea mule: [brays, looks at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Huh?
Sea mule: [kicks SpongeBob into mud pile]
Nobby: You okay? [kicks SpongeBob's boot off, speaking gibberish]
Narlene: Sorry, SpongeBob. No shoes allowed in Hill-Fu. Nobby says you gotta go [points to her foot] barefoot as a sea bear!
SpongeBob: [muffled] Mm!
[A sea mule crosses the screen, leaving behind a cloud of dust and transitioning to the next scene. The trio are next to a bunch of logs and tree stumps.]
Nobby: [pointing to log, speaking gibberish] Now watch this. [chops log in half, tosses slices ahead]
Narlene: Nobby says, "If you can split wood, a squirrel should be no problem."
SpongeBob: [approaches log] Split the wood, split the squirrel. Got it!
Sandy: [appears as imaginary reflection on log] Come on, SpongeBob. Chop me! Bring the pain!
SpongeBob: Well, maybe I will! [tries to chop log, but his arm breaks off into pieces] Oh... [tries to chop with other hand, which disintegrates]
[SpongeBob decides to try chopping the log with his head, which only makes him split in half.]
SpongeBob: Well, at least I split something.
[A log appears on-screen and splits in half, cuing the scene transition. SpongeBob is now fishing in a lake.]
Nobby: [speaking gibberish, holding onto SpongeBob] Here, let me show you.
Narlene: Nobby says to [moves hands] keep the pole balanced as you move through your positions.
[Nobby keeps spinning SpongeBob's body as he tries to keep himself balanced. Nobby eventually stops spinning him and SpongeBob starts spinning his body on his own.]
SpongeBob: I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
Narlene: Yeah!
SpongeBob: I got a bite! [gets up and reels in the sea mule, which kicks him backwards into coral] Whoa! [gets spit out of coral in a cylindrical shape]'
Narlene and Nobby: Whoa.
[Fishing bait falls down the screen, cuing another scene transition. Narlene is sitting in a chair while SpongeBob runs around in a circle, pulling Nobby along as SpongeBob is tied to his bike. SpongeBob, exhausted, finally stops.]
SpongeBob: Narlene, I don't know if I have what it takes to make it through Nobby's training--
Narlene: [gets up] SpongeBob. You're just listening to your [raises SpongeBob's noodly arms] body muscles. You gotta listen to your [pokes SpongeBob's head] head muscle. You know, your brain is your most powerful weapon. Well, that and a little banjo music. Hehe! [plays banjo]
[The banjo music causes SpongeBob to get excited and start running again. They go under the sand, and leap high as they emerge.]
SpongeBob and Nobby: Yee-haw!
[Cut to a different scene.]
Nobby: [speaking gibberish, puts pipe in SpongeBob's mouth]
[SpongeBob blows bubbles from the pipe, creating bubble people. He uses his moves to jump up and kick each of them, popping them. He chuckles in pride as he finishes.]
Narlene: [give thumbs up]
[Cut to another scene, where SpongeBob is near a coral tree.]
SpongeBob: [emerging from coral tree] Hmm... [maneuvers away]
Nobby: [glares at SpongeBob, yells as he jumps towards SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: [screams, then kicks Nobby into the air and slams him to the ground]
Nobby: [gives thumbs up]
SpongeBob: [gasps] I did it! I won! [karate chops] I know Hill-Fu! [bows with Nobby]
Narlene: Nobby says he's taught you all he knows. You've obtained the level of [holds up rope] rope belt.
SpongeBob: Ooh... [holds rope, squeals]
Nobby: [speaks gibberish]
Narlene: He also says he's got one final gift for you.
Nobby: [speaks gibberish, holds out square overalls]
SpongeBob: Ooh, the official uniform of the Hill-Fu master. [puts on overalls, rope, and pipe]
[Pipe bubble transition to SpongeBob posing confidently in his new uniform. Nobby looks excited.]
SpongeBob: D'aw! You shouldn't have. [bows to Nobby] Oh, thank you, Nobby! [hugs Narlene] Thank you, Narlene! [kicks in air] That karate badge is in the bag! [runs into the distance] I'm ready! [falls down, then gets up] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
Narlene: [pointing] He ain't ready, is he?
Nobby: [shaking head] Uh-uh, uh-uh. Uh-uh. Heck no.
SpongeBob: [doing karate maneuvers, looks around] Oh, huh? Hmm... Huh. [scratches head, Patrick emerges from canteen]
Patrick: [whispering] Psst, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: [approaching] Patrick? What happened? Where is everybody?
Patrick: Sandy happened! She got everyone but me. I think she even squished Mr. Plankton.
Plankton: That was you, you oaf!
Patrick: [reveals butt to show Plankton on it] Oh...
[Sandy's tail appears and grabs Patrick in a chokehold. She karate chops Patrick, launching him and Plankton into the air.]
Patrick: [screams] Ah, my butt!
Plankton: My face! [both land on a pile of campers]
Sandy: You know, whe don't have to fight. Just kneel down, I'll give you one little [chops air] chop, and you can join the others out in the pile. Once I've got my new karate badge, this will all be over, and we can go roast marshmallows.
SpongeBob: [southern accent] I'm real sorry, Sandy. But this t'ain't your summer. [yells, poses]
Sandy: T'ain't? Why you talkin' like that, Sponge--
SpongeBob: [karate chops in Sandy's direction, slicing a nearby coral tree]
Sandy: What?
SpongeBob: [growls]
Sandy: [jumps next to SpongeBob] Finally, a worthy opponent.
[SpongeBob squints his eyes, and they both start fighting each other. SpongeBob mule kicks Sandy into the canteen, destroying it.]
Pile of campers: [cheering] Yay!
[Sandy comes back, using her tail as a helicopter to hone in on SpongeBob. She pushes SpongeBob all the way into the Kamp Director cabin, destroying it as well.
Pile of campers: [groans, disappointed]
[SpongeBob and Sandy reemerge from the rubble. SpongeBob blows some bubble people from his pipe, which surround Sandy.]
SpongeBob: Looks like I've done got you surrounded.
Sandy: [attacks all three bubble people and lands] Come on out, SpongeBob. I've got a Texas-sized karate chop with your name on it. [takes off karate glove to reveal a spongy karate glove with SpongeBob's name on it] Huh? [yelps]
[SpongeBob comes in rolling on a giant boulder. He gets off of it and kicks it towards Sandy. Sandy jumps out of the way just in time to chop it in half.]
SpongeBob: Huh?
[SpongeBob and Sandy run towards each other and start attacking each other. ]
Narlene and Nobby: [cheering from rock in the distance]
[SpongeBob and Sandy turn into a fighting cloud as they travel onto the top of the lighthouse and face each other.]
Sandy: I can see you've been practicin'. But I still got one move I ain't never shown no one. [her tail gains a karate glove] Behold my Tail of Fury style!
SpongeBob: Oh, no. I've used every move Nobby taught me. [southern accent] What do I do now?
Narlene: [as spirit] Remember, SpongeBob. Your brain is your most powerful weapon.
SpongeBob: Ah, that's it! Thanks, Narlene!
[Sandy spins in the air, and SpongeBob thinks of what to do.]
SpongeBob: Aha! [throws his brain at Sandy, who bumps into SpongeBob, making them both fall down into the lake below]
SpongeBob and Sandy: [reemerge, laughing]
Sandy: That was the best karate battle I ever had! [picks up SpongeBob's brain floating in water and wrings it] Thanks, SpongeBob! [gives SpongeBob his brain, who puts it back in]
SpongeBob: [walking to shore with Sandy, chuckles] I like when you went, "Zoom!" And then you were all like, "Shoo!" And I was all like, "Pow!" [both laugh]
Sandy: [picks up karate badge from badge wall] How's about we share this year's badge?
SpongeBob: Ooh, I love sharing.
Nobby: [lands on badge and slams SpongeBob and Sandy into the ground]
Narlene: [catches badge] Sorry, you two. Looks like Nobby won, and he says this here badge is gonna make our feudin' jacket look something fierce. [badge conducts lightning, turning her outfit into something cooler] Wah! Ha-how! Yahoo! [runs off with Nobby]
SpongeBob: Oh, well. Next summer, [points] rematch!
Sandy: Deal! [slaps SpongeBob onto camera] Whoops.
SpongeBob: Yee-haw. [slides off camera as episode ends]