This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Help Not Wanted" from season 1, which aired on September 30, 2022.
- [Near Lake Yuckymuck, the campers are jellyfishing. Patrick is writing a letter to his parents.]
- Patrick: [writing] "Dear Mom and Dad, please send more underpants." [flashback to him eating underwear and taking SpongeBob's underwear and eating it as well] "I ate my last pair and some of SpongeBob's, so please send him some underpants too? Love, Patrick." [kissing letter] Mwah! [grabs jellyfish to send the letter, gets electrocuted] Eeeh! Augh! Mailed it.
- [Cecil is falling out of an airplane, screaming.]
- Patrick: [excited] Dad!
- Cecil: Hey, son! [screams, uses underwear as parachute, crash landing next to Patrick]
- Patrick: [lifting underwear parachute] You're a skydiver now? Cool.
- Cecil: That would be cool, [points up] but I actually just fell out of an airplane.
- Patrick: Did you bring my new underpants?
- Cecil: Sure, why not? [giving Patrick the pair of underwear] Here you go.
- Patrick: Uh, they're kinda big.
- Cecil: [hand on Patrick's shoulder] Don't worry, son. You'll grow into them. Ah, good old Kamp Koral. I used to be a camper here. I'd like to have a look around.
- Patrick: [grabbing Cecil's arm] Oh, that'd be great! Come on. [pulls Cecil] I'll show you my favorite things!
- [Bubble transition to Patrick showing Cecil the outhouse.]
- Patrick: This is the outhouse I'm always [nudges Cecil] telling you about.
- Cecil: She's a [smacks outhouse, breaking the door and revealing Kidferatu inside] beauty, son.
- Kidferatu: [hisses, burns up and drops into the toilet]
- Patrick: Sorry, Kidferatu.
- Kidferatu: [hisses, gives thumbs up]
- [Bubble transition to Patrick showing Cecil some holes he dug.]
- Patrick: This is a ditch I dug. This is a ditch I filled in. [he and Cecil fall into a ditch] This is the ditch I keep forgetting about.
- Cecil: Oh, I dig it.
- French Narrator: [narrating time card] One full day of fatherly fun later...
- [Cut to the Dinghy Cabin at night, where Cecil is playing a board game with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy.]'
- Cecil: [rolls die] Six, yes! [pan over to the other three looking exhausted] I'll move my boat to the bog of pizza, collect my lightning card, evolve my mega pet, cast infinite binding, and that gives me... [shouting] Kazamy!
- Patrick: [on floor] I guess it's bedtime now.
- Cecil: What? No. Today has been so awesome, I don't want it to end. [the others are asleep on the floor, snoring] Okay, kids, I think it really is bedtime. [picking up SpongeBob and Patrick] Get up. Come on. Move it along.
- Sandy: [dragging herself on floor, exhausted] Thank you, Mr. Star.
- Cecil: Good night, Patrick. Good night, SpongeBob. Good night, Sandy. Good night, counselor Squidward.
- Squidward: [off-screen] Enough with the good nights! [opens bedroom door with night gear on] I need my beauty sleep! [takes off sleep mask to reveal crusty eyes, making the others gasp] [shoving Cecil out of the cabin] Let's go, old-timer. [slams door]
- Cecil: [waving] Night.
- [Bubble transition to the next morning, where Squidward is pushing SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy along, who are still snoring.]
- Squidward: All right, let's go. Let's go. Don't want to be late for breakfast. Everybody out of the house. [the campers all fall to the ground, notices Cecil behind the door]
- Cecil: Morning.
- Squidward: [screams, falls down as well]
- Patrick: [Cecil approaches] Dad? Hey, what are you still doing here?
- Cecil: I had so much fun yesterday, I want to do it again!
- Patrick: Weird. But okay.
- [Cecil and Patrick skip together, and SpongeBob and Sandy follow. Squidward emerges from the mud, annoyed. Bubble transition to the Krusty Kanteen, where Plankton is serving breakfast.]
- Elwood: [with food] Eww. [food slumps down]
- [Three campers are sitting at a table with their food, disgusted. SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Cecil approach them.]
- SpongeBob: Oh, no. Plankton made his Loaded Breakfast Chum Loaf again.
- Cecil: That sounds disgusting. [tosses away the chum loaf] I know what to do. [leaps off the table and enters the canteen] Time for Dad's special Blast Off Breakfast Chilli!
- [Cecil gets two shakers from his nostrils and sprinkles it into a pot. He puts some chili in there as well, and mixes it together.]
- Plankton: [pointing to Cecil] Who are you? Get out of my domain!
- Cecil: Time for the beans. [dumps the beans, as well as Plankton, into the pot]
- Plankton: Whoa!
- Cecil: [laughs, holding hot sauce] And my secret ingredient.
- Plankton: Hey! [Cecil pours hot sauce into his mouth, burps out flames] Oh, boy...
- Cecil: [sticking hand into pot] Hey, get in there, you crazy jumping bean. [Plankton bites his hand, making him scream] Bad bean! [tosses Plankton away]
- Plankton: Stop doing my job for me! I--wait, what am I saying? This moron is doing all my dirty work for me. [pulls up lawn chair and lounges in it] Ahh. Cook away, dummy.
- Cecil: [ringing triangle] Breakfast chili up!
- Campers: [cheering as they approach the canteen]
- [Cecil, using a chili dispenser, gives all the campers their chili. Patrick has his head on his tray and eats the chili outright.]
- Cecil: Yep, here you go. And there it is.
- Campers: [eating their chili] Mmm. Delicious.
- Cecil: [whistling, with bowl of chili]
- Sandy: Thanks for the great chili, Mr. Star.
- Cecil: You're welcome, little lady.
- SpongeBob: [stomach grumbling] What's happening with my tummy? [pants inflate] Ohh. [pants inflate more] Oh! Whoa! [lets out large burp]
- Patrick: Ha!
- Sandy: Ohh!
- SpongeBob: Ahh. Oh, [chuckles] pardon me. [pants inflate again] Ohh. Ooh. Ohh. [burps]
- [Patrick and Sandy laugh at the burp cloud, and Patrick tries to touch it, electrocuting him.]
- Patrick: Whoa! [stomach grumbling] My turn! [burps]
- SpongeBob and Sandy: [laughing]
- Sandy: [cheeks puff up and burps, leaving burp cloud in helmet]
- SpongeBob and Sandy: [laughing]
- [The other campers start burping, creating more burp clouds. The clouds spell "CECIL!"]
- Campers: Cecil!
- Patrick: Wow, Dad, everyone loves your explosion chili!
- Cecil: It's good for your gas tank. [chugs entire bowl of chili, inflates and explodes, leaving his head on Patrick's face] Ooh. [Patrick peels his face off, both laugh]
- [Bubble transition to Mrs. Puff blowing her whistle for a sack race. Several campers including SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and Cecil are all in sacks, and the crowd looks sad.]
- Mrs. Puff: Who's ready for sack races?
- Crowd: Sack races again?
- Patrick: Can we do a rocket boat race instead?
- Mrs. Puff: Absolutely not! You might hurt yourselves, and it'll be my fault! [shouting] I'm not going back to the slammer again! [panting]
- Cecil: What?
- Mrs. Puff: Uh, nothing. Okay, on your marks, [inflates] get set... [blows whistle]
- [The racers start bouncing along, but quickly grow tired.]
- Cecil: Let's kick this race up a notch! [farts and floats in the sky, laughs]
- Patrick: Wow.
- Cecil: Come on, kids, use that chili fuel and blast off!
- Patrick: Hmm. [farts and floats, along with the others]
- Mrs. Puff: Hey! Get back down here! That's not safe!
- [The racers all have fun floating around in the sky.]
- Mrs. Puff: I guess it does seem safe enough, and I could use a break. [pulls up lawn chair and sits in it] Eep!
- [Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs opening a cabin door, and sees Mrs. Puff and Plankton lounging and drinking in lawn chairs.]
- Mr. Krabs: [gasps] What the what? What are you two doing? I don't barely pay you to lounge around all day. Where are the campers?
- Mrs. Puff: Take it easy, Eugene. Cecil has them handled.
- Mr. Krabs: Who is Cecil?
- [Pan over to Cecil dunking his head into a barrel of apples.]
- Campers: [chanting] Cecil Star! Cecil Star!
- [Cut to Cecil paddling a boat on one end, with the campers on another. Another boat of campers looks at them.]
- Campers: [chanting] Cecil Star! Cecil Star!
- [The scene changes to Cecil pulling on a rope, pulling several campers along with it.]
- Campers: [chanting] Cecil Star! [cheering]
- [Cut back to the camp directors.]
- Mrs. Puff: Apparently he's the new Camp-Master, according to that mob of moppets. [chuckles]
- Mr. Krabs: No way. I'm the Camp-Master around here, and I'd like to see someone tell me different.
- SpongeBob: [taps on Mr. Krabs' shoulder, with everyone else behind him] Hey, Mr. Krabs, um, [Sandy pushes him forward] just so you know, we all voted, and, um, [putting hat on Cecil] Mr. Star is the new Camp-Master! [campers cheer]
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah? [presses button on remote, raising a cannon pointed at them] Try telling that to me old navy cannon. [head opens up to reveal a lighter, which he uses to light the cannon fuse]
- Cecil: [waving] Hey, old navy cannon. I'm the new Camp-Master. [cannon pushes into his face]
- Mr. Krabs: Hey! [slides off cannon] Get your filthy mouth off me cannon! [pulls Cecil away from cannon, causing a small explosion, and is now on the floor] Whoa!
- Cecil: Spicy. [burps out fire, cannonball exits mouth] Welp, back to having fun.
- Campers: [following Cecil] Yay!
- Mr. Krabs: [turns into a pile of ash, then crawls to Mrs. Puff and Plankton] One way or the other, I'm taking my camp back. Even if it's the last thing you two do.
- Mrs. Puff: Just accept it. The kids have spoken.
- Mr. Krabs: Well then it's time for some new kids to speak. [cackling]
- [Bubble transition to the campers watching Cecil throw one of them onto a zip-line.]
- Cecil: There ya go.
- Mr. Krabs: [dressed in camper clothing along with Mrs. Puff and Plankton] All right, you two. Remember, we're young and hate everything about Camp Cecil.
- Cecil: Step up, happy campers. Later, we can [yawning] recline, but for now we zip-line.
- Mr. Krabs: [raspy voice] Uh, zip-line? How boring. [pulls Mrs. Puff next to him]
- Mrs. Puff: [with accent] Oh, zip-lines are, like, for grody old people. Huh? [slides Plankton to them]
- Plankton: Oooh. [growls] Ahem. [with megaphone] We should, like, totally tar and feather whoever planned this lame activity and reinstate Old Man Krabs, dudes.
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah, I came to camp for something cool and sick, [points to zip-line] not this bunner.
- SpongeBob: You know, I think the weird kid is right. Zip-lines are over.
- Patrick: How embarrassing.
- Cecil: I agree with you kids. Regular zip-lines stink. [pulls back tall grass to reveal insane zip-line] But a Camp-Master Cecil zip-line is totally sick.
- SpongeBob and Sandy: [gasp]
- Cecil: And every harness is [holding rocket] powered by a super rocket! [puts rocket onto zip-lining camper] Blast off! [presses button on remote, activating the rocket]
- Camper: [riding zip-line] Ahh! Whoo! Eee! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
- Plankton: That looks like it could kill somebody.
- Mr. Krabs: That looks awesome! [runs off]
- Plankton: [laughing] Out of my way! [runs off]
- Mrs. Puff: Me too! [runs off]
- Plankton: Me next!
- Cecil: [tying the three of them to a zip-line rocket] Whew. Goodness, you're a big boy. Time to blast off. [presses button on remote, activating the rocket]
- Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff: [quickly riding zip-line] Ahh! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
- Mrs. Puff: I've never felt so free!
- Mr. Krabs: Cecil really is a better Camp-Master than me!
- Plankton: I'm... going too fast! [gets blown off, holding onto Mrs. Puff's skirt] Ahh!
- [They all fall off the rocket as it blasts off again, but get back on the rope. They crash through a giant shell, knock over the lighthouse, making two campers on a boat scream and jump off before it hits them. They crash through a jelly hive in Jellyfish Meadows, exposing several jellyfish that were inside it. They all get stung by the jellyfish, and Mr. Krabs' claws stay on the rope as they all fall off and land into a fireworks cabin, causing an explosion and fireworks.]
- Campers: [watching from afar] Ooh. Ahh. [Mr. Krabs' claws on the zip-line return to them] Awesome! [chanting, carrying Cecil] Cecil! Cecil! Cecil! Cecil!
- Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, and Plankton: [on ground] Awesome!
- [Bubble transition to Kamp Koral at dusk.]
- Patrick: [tugging on Cecil] What are we gonna do now, Dad?
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah, Camp-Master Cecil, what's next? I never want you to leave.
- [Bunny stops her vehicle in front of the others. GrandPat is sitting in the back. They are two-dimensional as opposed to everything else.]
- Patrick: [waving] Hey. It's my mom!
- Bunny: [waving] Hello, honey. [pointing to watch] Time to leave, Cecil. You know it's time to wash the GrandPat.
- GrandPat: [breaks through vehicle roof, points to himself] I'm dirty. [stink lines appear on him]
- Cecil: [shrugs] Oh, well. She found me. I hate washing GrandPat. [leaving] Bye, Patrick. Bye, kids.
- Patrick: [waving] Bye, dad!
- SpongeBob, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, Mr. Star! Goodbye, Mrs. Star! Goodbye, GrandPat!
- [Cecil gets in and shuts the van door, breaking the window. They drive off into the sunset.]
- Plankton: Well, Eugene, you got your camp back. Happy?
- Mr. Krabs: [running after them] Camp-Master Cecil, come back! I don't want you to go!