This article is a transcript of the The Patrick Star Show episode "Fun & Done!" from season 1, which aired on April 20, 2023.
- [The episode opens with a shot of the Star house as the French Narrator speaks.]
- French Narrator: Life under the sea is beautiful, but often savage and strange.
- [Cut to show Patrick eating and watching TV.]
- French Narrator: Here we see the common sea star feeding...
- Patrick: [sits up] Huh...
- French Narrator: ...by extruding [shows shot of a realistic starfish on TV] its stomach from its own body, [it shoots its stomach out to eat a jellyfish] in order to envelop its prey.
- Patrick: Ew, gross. [pokes stomach with fork] But... hmm. [lifts his shirt with his fork] I wonder... [grunting] [gasps]
- [Patrick strains and shoots his stomach out.]
- Stomach: Ha-ha!
- Patrick: Ooh. Hey, buddy!
- [The stomach takes out a knife and fork, then throws them away and devours the food. Patrick laughs. A doorbell rings.]
- Patrick and stomach: Huh?
- Patrick: Uh, coming! [pulls his tongue to retract his stomach, opens the door with his teeth] Uh-huh?
- [A woman is standing at the front door.]
- Andy's mother: [checks watch] Oh, good. You're here. As per our discussion on the phone, [pan down to show Andy] this is little Andy. Strict diet, [throws kelp on Patrick, forming facial hair] kelp only. [throws pill bottles] Nutritional supplements. [throws books] Study material. [takes long list out of her purse] And a few other instructions. I got to go. [checks watch] I'm a busy lady. [runs away] Listen to your tutor, Andy!
- [Patrick stands up with all the things Andy's mother gave him. She is already in her car.]
- Andy's mother: Oh, and one last thing. [screaming] Do not overstimulate him! [drives away, tires squealing]
- Patrick: [pauses, then throws stuff away] Well, it's just you and me now, Blandy.
- Andy: It's... Andy.
- Patrick: [takes Andy inside] That's right, Blandy. Your mom said I was your tutor, but I don't know what that is. [takes off his head like a party popper] Let's just have fun instead! [pulls string to blow confetti]
- Andy: What is... fun?
- Patrick: [pauses, screams, gets into fetal position] Doesn't... know... fun... [whimpers]
- SpongeBob: [crashes through door] Who doesn't know what fun is?
- Patrick: [pointing to Andy] B-B-B-B-Blandy! [shivers]
- SpongeBob: [picks up Patrick, gasps] Patrick, do you know what this means? It means that kid is a blank slate!
- [Andy blinks once.]
- Patrick: [pauses] I don't get it.
- SpongeBob: [laughs] We get to teach him what fun is!
- Patrick: [eyes sparkle] Ohhh!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [ominously] Fun! Fun! Fun!
- French Narrator: [over a slide that reads "Fun!"] Fun!
- [SpongeBob inflates an inflatable pool, gets sucked in, and comes out. Patrick pours a bucket of water in. An eel comes out of the pool.]
- SpongeBob: [calling off-screen] Blandy, are you ready to play the funnest game ever?
- Patrick: [points to eel] It's called Hold That Eel!
- Eel: [hisses]
- Andy: [mumbles, nods]
- Patrick: Me first! [grabs the eel and gets electrocuted]
- Eel: [hisses at Patrick]
- Patrick: Ooh, heh-heh. [his head's on fire] Spicy fun.
- SpongeBob: [laughs] My turn! [grabs the eel and gets electrocuted, then babbles] Crispy fun. All right, Blandy! You're up!
- [The eel rises from the pool. Andy's eyes drift apart and turn into static.]
- Eel: [goes to Andy] Hey, little guy. Why don't you like eels? [shocks him] We really light up the room.
- [Andy lands on the floor.]
- Andy: Oof.
- Eel: All right, boys. I'm off the clock. [puts on hat and slithers away] See you next week, same time.
- [SpongeBob puts Andy back on the couch.]
- Patrick: We can't just give up on him!
- SpongeBob: We need something even more [shakes fists] funner than fun!
- Patrick: [takes ice cream cone out of his pocket] Oh! Ice cream's fun! [tries giving it to Andy, who doesn't react] Heh. Huhhh. [puts it on his head] Hmm.
- SpongeBob: [runs in with Mermaid Man figure] This is a job for Mermaid Man! [imitates airplane whooshing, Patrick jumps on him with a TV]
- Patrick: The idiot box!
- SpongeBob: [sticks a lollipop in Andy's eye] Candy!
- Patrick: [splatters a Krabby Patty on Andy's face] Burger!
- SpongeBob: [rolls a truck on Andy's face] Trucks!
- Patrick: [sticks a kazoo in Andy's mouth, which plays a note] Kalamazoo!
- SpongeBob: [pulls out an alien-like being] This thing! Huh.
- Patrick: Nothing's working, Captain!
- SpongeBob: Time for [raises finger] drastic measure!
- [SpongeBob turns Andy around, showing a door on the back of his head. He opens it.]
- SpongeBob: Found it! [jumps in] Whee!
- Patrick: Hmm. [twists body and jumps in] Whoo-hoo!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick walk through a gray and white room.]
- Patrick: So what are we looking for?
- SpongeBob: Deep down, every child has a sense of fun, Patrick. We've just got to find Blandy's.
- Patrick: [camera zooms out] I don't know, SpongeBob. It looks pretty empty in here. It's not going to turn up right under our- [yelps and trips on a doorknob]
- SpongeBob: Oh!
- Patrick: Oh, stupid doorknob! [kicks it, injures his foot and holds it in pain]
- SpongeBob: That's it, Patrick! [inhales and blows away dust to reveal a chained-up door] Aha!
- Patrick: Huh?
- SpongeBob: Blandy's imagination door! There's nothing more fun than imagination, [scratches head] and his is all locked up.
- Patrick: Oh, oh! I learned this new trick from TV! [lifts up his shirt] Oh, here, boy. I got some tasty grub for you! Who's a good tummy? [his belly button opens and the stomach looks out] Who's a good tummy?
- [Patrick's stomach jumps out and devours the locks, then smiles.]
- Patrick: Got to have bagel with your locks. [feeds his stomach a bagel, it jumps back in, he burps] Now, let's see if we can find some [sets door upright] fun in here.
- SpongeBob: Oh, oh!
- [Patrick opens the door. A giant rainbow stream with fun stuff in it comes out.]
- Andy: Huh? Whoa!
- [His eyes show sparklers and the lights change as he blinks. Rainbow fun pours out of his head. SpongeBob and Patrick squeeze back through the door. They ride down on unicorns, cheering, then land on the floor.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [gasp]
- [Andy floats in the air with rainbows pouring out of his head.]
- Andy: [laughs] Fun!
- [He throws the rainbows to make a Ferris wheel. It lands and Realistic Fish Heads appear in it.]
- Andy: [laughs] Fun!
- [He throws the rainbows again to create a teddy bear holding a lollipop. It spits out a clown.]
- Andy: [shooting more rainbows] Fun! Fun! Fun!
- [He creates five realistic fish. They grow legs, then start dancing and singing.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [singing and dancing]
- Andy: [giggles] Fun!
- [Rainbows come out behind him and spill out of the house. The house grows an arm and pours some of it out.]
- Andy: Fun, fun!
- [He splashes a rainbow wave over SpongeBob and Patrick. They switch body shapes and laugh.]
- Andy: [laughs]
- [More rainbows splash on a houseplant. It turns into a plant-like monster.]
- Patrick: [gasps] Mom's favorite boot plant!
- [The plant monster climbs up the wall, tearing the wallpaper.]
- Patrick: My mom's favorite waaall!
- Andy: Fun! Fun!
- SpongeBob: I hate to say this, but...
- [A rainbow wave splashes over them. Patrick now has two bodies and heads and SpongeBob's face is on his butt.]
- SpongeBob: do you think...
- [Another rainbow wave turns Patrick into a flower. SpongeBob's head comes out of his body on a spring.]
- SpongeBob: there could be...
- [Another rainbow wave makes Patrick have a singular large pupil as SpongeBob is covered in eyes.]
- SpongeBob: such a thing as too much fun?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [see Andy flying towards them, scream, and duck]
- Andy: [giggles, floats upstairs]
- SpongeBob: [worried] Gee, Blandy. Your imagination sure is fun. But maybe it's time to take a little breather, hmm?
- Patrick: [gently] Yeah.
- Andy: [giggles] Fun, fun!
- [He blasts more rainbows at SpongeBob and Patrick. They are now wearing medieval outfits as SpongeBob shields the rainbows. A giant baby's hand grabs them.]
- Baby: [babbling]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [screaming]
- [The baby sucks on SpongeBob and Patrick.]
- Andy: [laughs]
- [Andy's mother knocks on the door.]
- Andy's mother: Was that a giggle?
- SpongeBob: [screams as the baby chews him]
- Patrick: [screams as the baby chews him, hears a knock at the door and looks out] Augh! [knocks on door] She's here!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick are in the baby's mouth. A small realistic fish is dancing on SpongeBob.]
- Patrick: SpongeBob, [grabs head] what do we do? Blandy's mom is here and we haven't even tutored him yet!
- SpongeBob: [lifts head] We were supposed to tutor him? [grabs fish] But that's so boring. As boring as doing the dishes.
- Fish: [eyes widen] Ooh. [poofs away]
- SpongeBob: [pauses] Ohhh. So I think being the opposite of fun gets rid of them!
- Patrick: Quick, let's clean up this mess before we get sued for malpractice!
- [He grabs one of the baby's teeth and slams it against the uvula.]
- SpongeBob: [uluating]
- Baby: Huh? [takes SpongeBob and Patrick out of its mouth]
- SpongeBob: Proofreading!
- Baby: [babbles, shrivels up, and poofs away]
- [SpongeBob and Patrick fall down the stairs and crash against the door.]
- Andy: [giggles, leaves]
- [SpongeBob and Patrick run into the kitchen. Andy's mother is listening to the door with a glass cup.]
- Andy's mother: [gasps] That's the sound of [smahes glass, grabs head and screams] overstimulation!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick enter the kitchen, where Andy is floating and fun stuff is all around. They smack their eyes together.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [ululating]
- Patrick: [looks at a teddy bear] Math equations! [calculator beeps]
- Teddy bear: Ohh. [disappears]
- SpongeBob: [to a dancing oven] Savings plan!
- Oven: [groans, disappears, timer dings]
- [Andy's mother installs a doorbell and drills it into the wall, then rings it.]
- Andy's mother: Andy!
- SpongeBob: [to a clown] Tidy room! [clown disappears]
- Patrick: [to a dancing stack of plates, cups, and a mug] Tutoring! [everything fun disappears and the glassware shatters, to Patrick's surprise]
- [A bell in a bell tower rings. Andy's mother grabs the rope and pulls it.]
- Andy's mother: Andy! Andy!
- Andy: Whee! Whee!
- [SpongeBob skids into the living room and points to the Ferris wheel.]
- SpongeBob: Standing in line in an orderly fashion! [Ferris wheel disappears]
- [The plant monster crawls around a corner. SpongeBob and Patrick come from the ceiling and point at it.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Chores! [the plant turns back to normal, SpongeBob and Patrick look at the ground, then land and high-five] Yay!
- Patrick: Finally, all gone.
- Andy: [comes in and spreads rainbows around, bringing everything back] Fun! Fun! Fun!
- Andy's mother: [shouting] Andy! Andy! [ringing bells on a table] Andy!
- [The rainbows on SpongeBob and Patrick melt to make them look like Squidward. They shake it off.]
- SpongeBob: There's only one thing to do! [turns his hands into scissors and snips his head off, landing in Patrick's arms] We have to cut it off [points to his body] at the source! [takes his head back]
- Patrick: [gasps] You mean...
- SpongeBob: [holds Patrick] That's right, Patrick. [points to his head] We have to go back into Blandy's head.
- Andy: Fun! [Patrick grabs his leg] Aah!
- [SpongeBob tries to get into Andy's head as Patrick pushes him.]
- SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick! Push like you mean it!
- [Patrick pushes SpongeBob in. His hand reaches out and pulls Patrick in. A dust cloud shaped like Patrick is left behind, looks around, and closes the door. SpongeBob and Patrick fall into a sea of rainbows.]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa! [bubbling]
- [A mermaid kitten swims past and meows.]
- SpongeBob: [gasps and points]
- Patrick: [gasps]
- [They see the imagination door. SpongeBob puts on swim goggles and he and Patrick swim towards it. They try to push the door closed. After struggling for a bit, it closes and the rainbows drain, but two are still leaking out of the door.]
- SpongeBob: It's not going to hold! We have to reinforce it with something!
- Patrick: Oh, I know! [grunting and shakes his stomach]
- [His stomach falls out, dizzy. It spits up the locks back onto the door.]
- SpongeBob: We did it! We stifled his imagination!
- [SpongeBob, Patrick, and Patrick's stomach run around cheering. A knock is heard at the door.]
- Andy's mother: Andrew Fishman! [panting, kicks door open]
- [SpongeBob, Andy, and Patrick are sitting on the floor. SpongeBob blinks.]
- Patrick: Hello, Mrs. Blandsmom. [waves] I'm the tutor.
- Andy's mother: [panicked] What is going on in here?
- SpongeBob: Absolutely nothing. [holds out Andy] We just sat on the floor quietly for about 11 minutes.
- Andy's mother: Huh? [takes Andy] Oh.
- Patrick: [leans on SpongeBob] You'll be pleased to know that your son was very boring today.
- Andy's mother: [to Andy] Sweetie, are you OK?
- Andy: Mother? I would like some plain oatmeal.
- Andy's mother: Oh, thank heavens! [hugs Andy] That's my boy! Great job. I can't thank you enough! That's why I am paying you [hands out a quarter] one whole quarter, Mr. Squidward. [Patrick takes the quarter]
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh?
- Patrick: Wait, my name is Pat- [door slams] -trick. [shrugs] Oh well.
- SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling]
- [Patrick inserts the quarter into one of SpongeBob's holes and pulls his nose, making his pupils spin like a slot machine. They land on two cherries.]
- Patrick: Luck, be a lady tonight!
- [SpongeBob spits out cherries.]
- Patrick: Aw, cherries again? [picks up cherries] Someday we're going to win that sports car. [eats cherries]
- [Cut to Andy and his mother leaving the house.]
- Andy's mother: Andy, what do you say we go home and fold some laundry?
- [SpongeBob and Patrick look through the window.]
- Andy: [sniffs] Yes, Mother. [they walk away]
- Patrick: Hey, Blandy! Till next time, have fun!
- Andy: [turns around] Fun? [eyes sparkle] Fun!
- Andy's mother: What was that? [something is knocking at Andy's head door] Andrew, what have you gotten into? [opens door] Hmm. [gets sprayed by rainbows] Ahh!
- [Andy's rainbow fun escapes his head and engulfs the entire Earth. Fun stuff appears and the Earth rotates to show Andy's face.]
- Andy: [deep-voiced] Fun!
- [Rainbows come down the screen.]