This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Food PBFFT! Truck" from season 13, which aired on May 13, 2022.
- [The episode begins at the Krusty Krab, which is busy with customers.]
- Mr. Krabs: Woo-hoo! Me restaurant is packed to the gills with customers and their money! [laughs]
- [A crowd of customers run up to Squidward and give him their money. He puts it in the cash register, which overflows and the money flies out.]
- Squidward: Mr. Krabs, the register is full again.
- Mr. Krabs: I got it, Mr. Squidward. [vacuums up the loose money as he laughs] Ooh. [vacuums up one extra dollar from inside Squidward's nose] Ooh, hmm. [walks outside of the restaurant and steals money from the long line of customers. He sees Incidental 37A standing outside.] Hey, why aren't you in line? Don't you want a Krabby Patty?
- Incidental 37A: I'd love one, but it's so far away. [A food truck appears and gives him a burger and a drink. He takes a bite of the burger.] Not quite as good as a Krabby Patty, but I didn't have to move one inch. [He takes another bite of the burger and walks away.]
- Mr. Krabs: [angrily] That food truck stole me customer. Well, if the customers won't come to the Krusty Krab, I'll bring the Krusty Krab to them.
- [Bubble transition to the next scene, where SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are outside the Krusty Krab. There is also a large object covered by a curtain.]
- Squidward: Mr. Krabs, what are we doing out here?
- Mr. Krabs: Your generous employer has a surprise for you.
- SpongeBob: [His irises turn into hearts while jumping in the air.] I love your surprises, Mr. Krabs! My favorite surprise was the rubber check. [He pulls a check made out of rubber from his pocket and bounces it on the ground.]
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah, that was a good one. [He pulls the curtain off the large object revealing it is a Krusty Krab food truck.] Behold! Me brand new to me food truck, the Krusty Kruiser. [He taps the truck and the bumper falls off,] Uh-oh.
- Squidward: What a hunk of junk.
- SpongeBob: [His irises' light reflections turn into three hearts each.] More like a big hunk of gorgeous!
- Squidward: We won't sell any patties from that old jalopy.
- Mr. Krabs: You better sell a patty or you better not come back! [He bends Squidward and uses him as a crank to start the food truck. He then puts Squidward in the driver's seat.] Oh, and Mr. Squidward, you're driving.
- [Squidward groans and SpongeBob slides into the truck through the window.]
- SpongeBob: Ooh, I can navigate. [He holds up a small telescope to his eye.]
- Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh boy.
- SpongeBob: Customers, ho.
- Mr. Krabs: Get going!
- [Bubble transition to the Krusty Kruiser driving through Bikini Bottom.]
- SpongeBob: [His eye is looking through a telescope on the roof of the vehicle.] Now, all we need is a parking spot next to lots of hungry customers. Ooh! [It shows a group of four fish talking.] That looks like a good spot, Squidward. [They try parking there, but a truck carrying a vat of grease steals the spot.] Huh?
- Squidward: That's my spot, you creep.
- [The large vat of grease spills on the Krusty Kruiser, frying it as it drives away.]
- SpongeBob: [looks out the window and points to another group of fish.] Ooh, try over there.
- [The windshield wipers on the truck activate to clear the grease as it turns around and parks near the fish. Another food truck parks there, sending SpongeBob, Squidward, and their food truck flying into a building that it crashes into.]
- SpongeBob: [inside one of the truck's storage compartments] Boink! I found an empty spot in here. [laughs]
- Squidward: Shut it. [closes the compartment door.]
- [Bubble transition to several construction worker fish working. The food truck drives by them.]
- SpongeBob: Construction workers are always hungry. [The truck stops in front of the fish and SpongeBob pokes his head out the window.] Krabby Patties! Get your red-hot Krabby Patties! [He laughs and quickly makes a Krabby Patty. Another truck labeled "Crane Crepes" drives up with Incidental 39 driving it.]
- Incidental 39: Hey, you claim jumpers! This is my turf. [He uses a large magnet on the top of the truck to grab the construction workers and move them to behind the food truck.] Bon appetite.
- [Bubble transition to the next scene at Lady Upturn's mansion. Lady Upturn is standing in front of it.]
- Squidward: Now this place looks classy.
- SpongeBob: [His head is sticking out through the window.] Krabby Patties! Get your delicious, affordable Krabby Patties here!
- Lady Upturn: Affordable? Oof, how common. Oh, canape truck!
- [A large, white limousine pushes the food truck out of the way.]
- SpongeBob and Squidward: Whoa! [The food truck drives into Bikini Bottom.]
- Squidward: We tried all over Bikini Bottom and didn't sell a thing. Time to go back and tell Krabs we failed.
- SpongeBob: There's one place we still haven't tried. [He unfolds his map, and it flies out the window.] Whoa! [The map wraps around the exterior of the truck and hits Squidward in the face.]
- Squidward: Huh? [The map unfolds, revealing a map of Rock Bottom.]
- SpongeBob: Rock Bottom. [Squidward groans and they pass by a sign reading "You Are Now Leaving Bikini Bottom."] Turn, turn!
- [The food truck suddenly goes down a 90-degree angle steep road as SpongeBob and Squidward scream. By the time they land, they are in Rock Bottom. Howling can be heard.]
- Squidward: Oh, this place is deserted.
- SpongeBob: Hmm, if I recall correctly, there are always friendly Rock Bottomites at the bus stop. [The truck stops at the bus stop.]
- Squidward: [sarcastically] What a fabulous idea, SpongeBob. There are so many customers here. [A tumbleweed passes by.]
- SpongeBob: Maybe the Rock Bottom mall?
- Squidward: [groans] The mall. [They drive into the Rock Bottom Mall, which appears deserted.]
- SpongeBob: Where is everybody? [They drive out of the mall and into a circus] The circus should be good for crowds. [The circus is also deserted]
- Squidward: Hmm. Maybe it's a flea circus? [Laughs]
- SpongeBob: [He picks up a clown wig and puts it on] It's still warm. [They drive out of a circus and into a cemetery.] Oh, the cemetery is empty too. This place isn't even a ghost town.
- Squidward: Well, we tried. Let's go home.
- SpongeBob and Squidward: Huh?
- [Incidental 211 appears blowing a raspberry.]
- SpongeBob: [gasps] A customer. [They pull up to the fish] Step right up and get a delicious, half-fresh- [He stops and the fish fades away] Huh? Krabby Patty. [Incidental 211 is seen again blowing a raspberry, except he is farther away] Huh? There he is! [They drive toward the fish. Squidward's Kelpy G magazine lands on the windshield and Squidward throws it off.]
- Squidward: [grunts] Where did he go?
- SpongeBob: Up there. [Incidental 211 appears on top of a power line, blowing a raspberry.]
- Squidward: [Angrily] I got him this time. [He drives up the power line and they get electrocuted. Incidental 211 jumps off.]
- Bubble transition to the next scene, where Incidental 211 is flying on a hang glider with SpongeBob and Squidward following him. They crash into a rock and fall down as they scream. The truck then drives away with the fish flying away and blowing a raspberry.]
- Squidward: Oh! We lost him.
- SpongeBob: There he is! [The fish is on the back of the truck blowing a raspberry. He jumps off and fades away while spinning on a lamppost.]
- SpongeBob and Squidward: [They run out of the truck] Huh?
- Squidward: Can we go home now?
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs said we can't go back until we sell at least one Krabby Patty.
- Squidward: Fine, I'll just buy a stupid patty myself. [He reaches to his pocket, but there is nothing there] What? [His jeans are seen on his bed] Forgot my wallet in my pants at home. [Cuts back to SpongeBob and Squidward] Oh, SpongeBob, could you please lend me some money to buy a patty?
- SpongeBob: I only carry Krusty Cash. [He gives Squidward the dollars, which read "Not valid at the Krusty Krab."]
- Squidward: Not valid at the Krusty Krab? [He rips up the dollars] I guess if I ever want to go home, we have to sell a patty to that mysterious weirdo.
- SpongeBob: No problem. [He puts on his glasses and pulls out a jellyfishing net] I'll track him down using my jellyfishing expertise.
- [Bubble transition to the next scene, where Incidental 211 is walking by the bus station blowing a raspberry. SpongeBob and Squidward appear behind the station in the truck.]
- SpongeBob: Hmm, hmm. [They drive away and find the fish. SpongeBob swings his net at the fish, but the fish disappears] Got ya! Huh? [A jellyfish flies out of the net and stings SpongeBob and Squidward as they scream.]
- Squidward: Ow! My brainstem! [Bubble transition to the next scene, where Squidward is covering a hole with some seaweed.]
- SpongeBob: I learned this trick reading Jungle Fish Comics. [SpongeBob and Squidward run back to the truck panting. Incidental 211 walks by and falls into the hole. SpongeBob and Squidward run back.]
- Squidward: Ha! Got the little barnacle. [They look inside the hole and sees several jellyfish] Huh? [The jellyfish grab SpongeBob and Squidward and sting them as they scream. Incidental 211 walks by. Squidward tries to escape but he gets pulled back in]
- [Bubble transition to the nest scene, where SpongeBob and Squidward are driving through Rock Bottom. They get to the bus stop and SpongeBob slides out of the window groaning. Squidward slides out from under the window groaning and they both sit on a bench.]
- Squidward: Well, since I'm never going home, I may as well get comfortable.
- Incidental 211: [Walks up to SpongeBob and Squidward and blows a raspberry] Hey! [Blows a raspberry] You're those weirdos that have been [blows a raspberry] chasing me around town. [blows a raspberry.]
- Squidward: Why were you waving at us and then running away?
- Incidental 211: Huh? [blows a raspberry] I can't [blows a raspberry] understand your accent. [blows a raspberry]
- SpongeBob: I'll handle this, Squidward. I speak fluid Rock Bottom-ish. Why [blows a raspberry] were you [blows a raspberry] waving at us? [blows a raspberry]
- Incidental 211: I wasn't [blows a raspberry] waving at you. [blows a raspberry] I was [blows a raspberry] drying out my armpits. [SpongeBob holds up a fresh Krabby Patty to him and he gasps. He smells it and becomes surprised.]
- SpongeBob: We just wanted to [blows a raspberry] sell you a hot [blows a raspberry] delicious Krabby Patty. [blows a raspberry]
- Incidental 211: It does look [blows a raspberry] tasty.
- SpongeBob and Squidward: We're gonna sell a patty. [both blow raspberries. A large bus drives in and knocks away their food truck.] Huh?
- [Several Rock Bottomites walk off the bus while blowing raspberries. They go into the Rock Bottom cemetery, jump into coffins, and close them. Several clowns also walk off the bus and enter the circus while blowing raspberries. They walk into a small clown car which then drives away.]
- Incidental 222: [walks off the bus] Hey, Bert. [blows a raspberry] Too bad you couldn't [blows a raspberry] come with us on our yearly trip to the [blows a raspberry] Krusty Krab, [blows a raspberry] but here's your Krabby Patty. [He blows a raspberry and hands a Krabby Patty to Incidental 211]
- Incidental 211: Thanks, Frank. [blows a raspberry] But you know how long these pits take to dry. [blows a raspberry] Sorry, fellas. [blows a raspberry] I'd love to buy a patty from ya, but I already have a whole bag. [He eats the patty. SpongeBob and Squidward groan and melt.]
- [Bubble transition to the next scene, where Mr. Krabs is behind the Krusty Krab carrying a wheelbarrow of money.]
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Those Rock Bottomers really love their Krabby Patty. [he sees the damaged food truck coming back] Ooh. [SpongeBob and Squidward tiredly walk out of the truck groaning.] SpongeBob, Squidward, you're back. How many patties did you sell?
- SpongeBob: Uh, none.
- Mr. Krabs: What in the name of all that's greasy have you been doing all day? You're going right back out there until you sell a patty! [His stomach growls] Sorry, boys. I'm a little hangry. I've been so busy, I haven't eaten anything myself. [Squidward holds up a Krabby Patty to Mr. Krabs. He tries biting into it, but Squidward swipes it away.]
- Squidward: Ahem, that'll be [blows a raspberry] five bucks. [blows a raspberry]
- Mr. Krabs: Alright, fine. [He hands Squidward five dollars] Comes back straight to me pocket anyhow.
- SpongeBob: Yay, we finally sold a Krabby Patty!
- Squidward: I can finally go home!
- Mr. Krabs: [Laughs and takes a bite out of the patty, but then groans.] When I have to pay for it, it tastes like old snail litter. [He throws the patty at the food truck] Uh-oh. [The food truck collapses on him] Oh. [blows a raspberry, ending the episode.]