This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Digital short "Fish Food Rescue: The Krusty Krab," which aired on March 1, 2015.

  • Don Snapper: Hello, I'm Don Snapper. And welcome to Fish Food Rescue, the show where I snap on disgusting food establishments. Today, we're going somewhere we've never gone before. The Krusty Krab. Let's see how krusty this place is.
  • Narrator: The Krusty Krab has been shelling out quality service with its signature Krabby Patty is the sizzling source of revenue. Mr. Krabs has served over 50 billion aquatic customers.
  • Don Snapper: Wow! This place seems spotless from bow to stern! How about the krustomer's satisfaction?
  • Customers: The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty, have never tasted one!
  • Don Snapper: Satisfaction duly noted. But how about the busyness of the business?
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] At first, we didn't know what to do with all the money.
  • [Clips of Mr. Krabs' happy moments with his money.]
  • SpongeBob: But in the end, we decided to just give it all away.
  • [Patrick gives a customer a box of money.]
  • Patrick: Come again, sir!
  • Don Snapper: Holy fishpaste! You keep selling those and you'll never go out of business!
  • Plankton: Yippee.
  • Don Snapper: But how about your competition?
  • Plankton: Where you can enjoy a nice helping of chum. [sarcastically] Oh, boy this is so... [pretends to eat it by hiding it behind his head] ...good.
  • Don Snapper: Barnacles! This place is serving plank-tons of filth!
  • Plankton: What? It's just an ordinary Krabby— [Scene zooms in to show the patty made with gross-out items] Oh, my goodness!
  • Don Snapper: I don't embrace excuses. We need to shut it down!
  • Plankton: [whimpering, starts bawling]
  • Don Snapper: Shut it down! I'm Don Snapper. Tune in next time when we try and save the Chum Bucket. Trust me. I'm a professional expert.
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