NOTE: Lyrics in red do not appear in the broadcast version of the song.
Ahoy everybody!
SpongeBob here! Christmas needs presents and mistletoe, sharing and caring. So during this most festive season, please, don't be a jerk.
Bring joy to the world; it's the thing to do
But the world does not revolve around you
Don't be a jerk
It's Christmas
There's a sign above the line that says "Express"
That means ten items or less
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too
'Cause that's how you'd like them to treat you
Use turn signals, don't screen my calls
Don't you wreck the house when you deck the halls
Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe
Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
It's Christmas!
[instrumental]
[laughter]
When others are talking, never interrupt
Don't put people down, or leave the toilet seat up
It's the time for family and holly and turkey
It is the season to be jolly; not jerky! (Jolly; not jerky!)
Don't dig in the cereal box, for goodness sakes
Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Santa brought nearly every gift on your list
Why whine about the one that he missed?
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk) It's Christmas
It's Christmas!
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
(It's Christmas!) Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Don't be a jerk (Don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
[fade]
LEGO Version[]
The LEGO Version is done by Garret Barati. This was the follow up to the winner of the 2008 "Built By Me" LEGO competition part of Nicktoons Network Animation Festival.
When SpongeBob finds out that singing this song cured Sandy, he realizes he can sing this song to the rest of Bikini Bottom to make them normal again, so he sings this song to everyone, and they all become normal. As a result, they begin singing as well curing the entire town.