- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Patrick Star
- Nancy Suzy Fish
- Dave, Frank, Percy, Isabelle, Harold
- Magic Conch Shell voice (debut)
- Forest Ranger (debut)
The episode begins with Squidward leaving his house and riding his bicycle to work. He then rides past a tall tree, at the top of which is a small box where SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting and giggling profusely. They see Squidward below and talk to each other about this, beginning certain words with "w." Squidward approaches the base of the tree and asks what they are doing, and SpongeBob tells Squidward that he cannot tell him because he is not a member of their club. Squidward mocks them, saying that he is more than qualified to join their club. SpongeBob tells Squidward he could not get in even if he tried. Squidward tells them that he is "a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom.," but SpongeBob and Patrick insist that he would not fit in. Enraged, Squidward tells them they know nothing of fitting in before he proceeds to climb the tree. SpongeBob and Patrick frantically tell Squidward to stop, but he does not.
Squidward crawls into their tiny box house, and SpongeBob and Patrick explain that they meant that he would not "fit in," and that they have been stuck in the tree for three days. SpongeBob and Patrick begin Squidward's initiation into their "club," but Squidward stops them, and attempts to get out be pulling on a smaller tree. He manages to make the tree double over and is about to crawl out when the second tree snaps, launching them into the sky. They fly over the Kelp Forest, where a couple sees them believing it to be a shooting star.
The trio crash in a small clearing in a distant section of the kelp forest. SpongeBob and Patrick begin to jump and joyfully shout while Squidward panics at his situation of being lost and stuck with SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick try to comfort Squidward by telling him it could be worse, and that they will survive as a club and as long as they have the "Magic Conch Shell," a Magic 8 ball-like device which SpongeBob and Patrick treat as prophetic and all-knowing. They believe the Magic Conch should never be questioned and should always be consulted before any action is taken. SpongeBob asks it what they must do to escape the kelp forest, and the conch says, "Nothing." SpongeBob and Patrick sit on the ground doing nothing, and Squidward is enraged at their stupidity. He announces that he intends to escape the forest and get back to sanity by himself, and walks away. As Squidward tries to find an exit, he becomes lost and afraid and eventually comes back to where SpongeBob and Patrick are.
Even more time passes, and by now, Squidward has dismantled the box to build a shelter. He has a hat made out of some dried plant and is sitting by a small campfire. He is holding an empty frying pan over the fire. A small bug scurries past, and Squidward catches it and proceeds to cook it. He taunts SpongeBob and Patrick with his "food," saying that they could have sided with him and survived, but instead listened to a talking shell- that tells them nothing. He proceeds to say, "As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky! (laughs) Fall right out of the sky!"
Above the forest, a damaged plane is falling right out of the sky, and the pilots drop their load of picnic supplies and food to avoid crashing. The equipment lands around SpongeBob and Patrick, who emerge from their state of doing nothing and praise the magic conch. Squidward is extremely shocked and walks over to the two, who are devouring a table full of delicious food. Squidward says he was only kidding earlier and asks if he is still a member of the club, and SpongeBob tells him that he is still a member. Squidward cannot decide what to choose, and begrudgingly follows SpongeBob's suggestion of asking the conch shell. It tells him he cannot have either of the two items he asked for. He tries another one, and the conch says no. He repeatedly asks it if he can have anything to eat, with the shell responding "no" every time (most likely it was due to Squidward insulting the conch and the club earlier). When the conch says "no" again, but with sass, Squidward becomes enraged and is about to go mad when a Park Ranger enters the clearing.Squidward tells him he has been stranded with SpongeBob, Patrick, and the magic conch shell for weeks, and his mention of the "magic conch shell" prompts the ranger who pulls out an identical conch, much to Squidward's surprise. SpongeBob and Patrick are delighted to meet a "club member," and the ranger tells them that his conch advised him to look for them. The three club members praise the magic conch before asking it how to get out of the kelp forest. It tells them, "Nothing." Following the conch's advice, they do nothing and assume sitting positions on the ground. Squidward, at the end of his sanity, praises the magic conch and sits down as well, ending the episode.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Hilo March - The Hawaiian Serenaders [Title card]
‣ Me for You - George Callert [opening]
‣ Silly Season A - David Bell, Otto Sieben [Squidward refuses to join SpongeBob and Patrick's club]
‣ Danger Zone - Mike Sunderland [they get stranded in a forest]
‣ Tympup A - Sammy Burdson, John Charles Fiddy ["Well, this is the end."]
‣ Bashful Eyes - Kapono Beamer ["Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine."]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [magic conch shell]
‣ The Promised Land - David Farnon [conch tells them to do nothing]
‣ Comic Walk - Sidney Torch ["I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy!"]
‣ On Fire - Gregor F. Narholz [Squidward gets lost]
‣ Heavenly Voices (b) - David Farnon [choir; Squidward sees a light]
‣ Newsreel - Sam Fonteyn ["Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick!"]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill [Squidward realizes there is no way out]
‣ Hawaiian Breeze - Jon Jelmer [Squidward cooking a bug]
‣ Dramatic Cue (g) - Ronald Hanmer ["Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!"]
‣ Hawaiian Link (a) - Richard Myhill [bug hits Squidward]
‣ O Makalapua (b) - Kapono Beamer [SpongeBob and Patrick eating/"Yeah, now, uh, if you'll excuse me..."]
‣ The Oracle - David Farnon ["The conch is the one who gave us this banquet."]
‣ Steel Licks (d) - Jeremy Wakefield ["You guys have it all wrong."]
‣ Lonely Heart's Club (a) - David Bell, Otto Sieben [conch tells Squidward he cannot have anything to eat/"Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?"]
‣ Dramatic Cue (d) - Ronald Hanmer [Squidward getting angry]
‣ V for Victory - Sam Fonteyn [ranger appears]
‣ Hilo March - The Hawaiian Serenaders [ending]
- This episode is available on the Nautical Nonsense and Sponge Buddies, Complete 3rd Season, Absorbing Favorites, First 100 Episodes, and Complete Third Season DVDs.
- Although this episode aired on July 12, 2002, it was made in 2001 according to the credits.
- This was the last episode to credit Walt Dohrn as a writer for the show since he served as a storyboard director for "Party Pooper Pants" before his departure.
- Phrases that the Conch Shell says:
- "Maybe someday."
- Nothing (twice)
- I don't think so
- No (most commonly)
- Try asking again
- (in a mocking tone) No!
- This and "Graveyard Shift" are the first two episodes to be released on video before airing on television. It was featured on the Sponge Buddies VHS and on the Nautical Nonsense and Sponge Buddies DVD, which were released on March 12, 2002, 117 days before it premiered on TV.
- This episode premiered in Canada on December 11, 2002.
- Squidward breaks the fourth wall when he says "Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?" in reference to an episode's length.
- The episode is dubbed in Spanish and French on Absorbing Favorites and the Complete Third Season DVDs.
- This is the second episode where Patrick uses his mouth like a vacuum cleaner to take in food. The first is "Grandma's Kisses."
- This is the only season 3 episode to be on a Blu-Ray disc.
- This is the only episode where the first half of "Hilo March" is played in the title card. In other episodes that use it in the title card, there is an abridged version of the second half playing. Also, the episode begins and ends with the song, somewhat bookending the episode.
- The bug squished by Squidward has a blood stain on it.
- The online game Spitwad Showdown is based on this episode.
- In the Polish dub, the episode's title is "Klub SpongeBoba," which translates to "SpongeBob's Club."
- In the German dub, the title card font is not changed.
- The victory screech from "The Algae's Always Greener" is used again.
- The Cephalopod Lodge place is indirectly mentioned in this episode when Squidward mentioned that he has a been member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom.
- The Magic Conch shell was made into an app.
- The Magic Conch Shell is a parody of the Magic 8-Ball toy.
- When Squidward says "Stuck... in the middle of nowhere! With SpongeBob and Patrick!," the latter two characters can be seen holding hands, and after the ranger shows Squidward the magic conch shell, SpongeBob's hand looks as if he is holding Patrick's hand from the latter's palm.
- When the ranger arrives and shows his magic conch shell, SpongeBob and Patrick's conch disappears.
- When SpongeBob and Patrick call Squidward "Widward," the closed captions say "Windward."
- At the beginning of the episode, the tree and clubhouse are facing to the road, and there are many trees seen. But after SpongeBob and Patrick insult Squidward, the tree and clubhouse are turned 90º to the right, and there are barely any trees shown. When Squidward climbs the tree, it is facing back to the road, but when he tries to get out of the clubhouse, it rotated 90º to the right again.
- Also, when Squidward tries to get out of the clubhouse, there is another skinny, tall tree that he grabs on. It did not appear in any scene before Squidward climbs into the clubhouse.
- When Squidward rides on his bike, he left his door open, but as soon as he tries to get back down, the door is shut.
- When the camera zooms in to the Magic Conch Shell during its last "no" in response to Squidward's last question, his arm is accidentally colored yellow, matching the color of SpongeBob.
- This error was later corrected in 2019 when the episode was remastered for digital releases.
- When Patrick pours ketchup on his mouth, his pupil closes instead of his eyelids closing. Also, when Patrick eats a bone, the bottom of his eyelids are pink.
- In the same scene, three Krabby Patties appear on the table, and the sandwich disappears.
- When SpongeBob is shown drinking a glass of orange juice, the juice in the glass stays at the same level instead of going down.
- The clubhouse is facing to the left while it is in the air after the tree breaks at the time Squidward is about to get out of it, but it is facing to the right when it lands in the kelp forest, and to the left again when Squidward returns to SpongeBob and Patrick when he finds out that there is no way out of Kelp Forest.
- Every time Squidward asks the Magic Conch Shell for food, it keeps saying, "No."
- Characters victory screeching after something good happens.
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