Broken Alarm/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Broken Alarm" from season 12, which aired on July 6, 2019.

[The episode begins at the Krusty Krab. The customers are running wild with hunger and are gnawing everything in sight. A barrel crashes onto Mr. Krabs' office door.]
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! [dodges an incoming axe] What is happening in me restaurant?!
Squidward: The customers have gone crazy! [screams as Monroe was thrown in the kitchen] SpongeBob is late for work, so there's no food!
Mr. Krabs: [gasps then grabs and shakes Squidward] But he's never been late for work in his life! Oh, this can only mean one thing. [hops on a table and rings the bell] SpongeBob has passed away!
[The customers pause for a moment and cry.]
Mr. Krabs: Or...maybe he's just seriously injured. [chuckles]
[The customers cry once more.]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah, that's still bad, isn't it? [sobs along with the customers]
Squidward: [files his tentacle] I had no idea you cared that much about SpongeBob.
Mr. Krabs: [grabs Squidward] Of course! He's been a loyal employee. His passing would be a great loss to me bank account. Oh, I—to me personally, of course. Now, come on, we have to go check on SpongeBob's possible remains.
Squidward: With pleasure! [smiles sadistically; but Mr. Krabs stares angrily at him] What? Too soon?
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob's pineapple. The sky is gray and the scenery looks gloomy. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and the customers are outside SpongeBob's bedroom door.]
Mr. Krabs: Prepare yourselves for the horror. [the customers quiver, but Squidward gives a sadistic smile] Or the joy. Let's not be downers about this.
Bikini Bottomites: Oh, yeah. Okay.
Mr. Krabs: But probably, like I said, the horror!
[The customers gasp while Squidward grins maliciously. Mr. Krabs peeks in through the bedroom door. Inside, SpongeBob is still in bed with Gary sleeping on him. Gary is licking SpongeBob to get him to wake up.]
Mr. Krabs: Neptune's nightmare! That snail is eating SpongeBob's face! [rushes over to SpongeBob's bed and grabs Gary] Get away from him! [pulls Gary off of SpongeBob]
Bikini Bottomites: [overlapping chatter] Such a nice kid.
SpongeBob: [wakes up] I—I— [babbles and shakes his head before the lights turn on] Oh, good morning, everyone.
[Everyone gives SpongeBob disappointed looks and they all walk out. Mr. Krabs and Squidward stay behind to talk to SpongeBob.]
Mr. Krabs: [picks up SpongeBob] SpongeBob, you're alive!
SpongeBob: I am? Well, thank goodness. Wait, why wouldn't I be alive?
Mr. Krabs: [sets SpongeBob down] You were late to work, so we assumed the worst.
Squidward: [rolls his eyes in annoyance] You mean, "the best."
SpongeBob: Late to work? But that's impossible! My trusty alarm clock always waked me up. [holds up his alarm clock] See? [sees it unplugged] Well, how do you like that? It's unplugged. Well, we'll just fix that and I'll never be late again.
[SpongeBob goes to plug his alarm clock back in. But the alarm clock falls over and goes bouncing around the bedroom. SpongeBob hides under the covers to prevent himself from getting hit. The alarm clock bounces back from the bed and flies under Squidward. The alarm clock bounces back from a wall and hits Squidward in the back of his head, breaking it into bits of pieces.]
SpongeBob: [catches Gary] Oh, my clock!
[Squidward and Mr. Krabs stand up and see pieces of the alarm clock everywhere. The blowhorn part of the alarm clock is stuck through Squidward's neck. Squidward falls over and the blowhorn breaks.]
Mr. Krabs: Looks like you need a new clock, boy-o.
SpongeBob: Oh, I could never replace my old clock, Mr. Krabs. We've been through a lot together. [hugs the remains of his alarm clock] It's the only alarm clock I've ever owned. I can fix it.
Mr. Krabs: Eh, good luck. But you better not be late tomorrow. [leans in closer to SpongeBob's face] Or else.
Squidward: [rubs his head] Did that stupid clock give me a bump on my head?
[Squidward shows a clock-shaped bump on his head. A woman screams in the background.]
SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: [grossed out] Ugh!
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob trying to fix his broken alarm clock. Patrick is asleep on top of his rock.]
SpongeBob: Oh, come on, come on. I still love you. Let me fix you. [flicks the part] Wow!
[The clock part flies into Patrick's mouth. Patrick wakes up from sleeping and swallows the part.]
Patrick: Ooh, hey, SpongeBob, what're you doing? [hops off his rock and goes over to SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm just trying to fix this old alarm clock. I'm gonna need that part you swallowed, by the way.
Patrick: That's cool. Just give a couple of hours. You know, [looks through SpongeBob's magnifying glass] I could totally fix your clock for you. [laughs]
SpongeBob: Oh, I don't know, Patrick. This clock means a lot to me and— [sees Patrick making an eager giggle] Well, okay, are you sure?
Patrick: Absolutely. Don't you worry. I promise to be super careful. [grabs some parts and tries to put them together, but they don't fit; he smashes them together in frustration] Why won't you fix?! [screams wildly as he grabs the blowhorn and smashes everything in pieces until he stops] Hmm? Uh... Sorry, SpongeBob, I couldn't fix it.
SpongeBob: Thanks for trying, Patrick, but I guess nothing lasts forever. Looks like I'm gonna need a new clock after all.
Patrick: Hmm! [laughs] In that case... [kicks some parts around and body slams them]
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob going to the clock store. He enters the store and loads of clocks are hanging on the walls.]
SpongeBob: Um, hello?
Con man: [pops out of the coo-coo clock] Hello, there! [shakes SpongeBob's hand] Welcome to Clock World, where we always have time [shows an alarm clock under his hat] for a bargain. How can I help you?
SpongeBob: [holds out a bag of the remains of his alarm clock] Do you have another alarm clock like my old one?
Con man: Hmm… [takes some of the clock's remains, licks it and examines it] Ah, the 740 Foghorn Wake-Em-Up Grand. I'm sorry to say they don't make this model anymore. But if you have a second, [shows SpongeBob a vast amount of clocks] I have many others I can show you. [giggles]
SpongeBob: Wow. So many to choose from. [his eyes are shown as clocks] Oh, I'll never be able to choose a clock with this many choices. Then I'll just take 'em all! [takes out a bunch of money and gives it to the salesman]
Con man: Ah! I'm rich! [laughs manically as he leaves the clock store] Whoo! [rushes over to the yacht store and gives the money to the yacht salesman] Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! [hops into a yacht and drives away]
[The scene changes to SpongeBob setting a fire hydrant alarm clock.]
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: My old foghorn clock was the only alarm clock that could wake me up. Sure hope one of these works. [shows a huge pile of alarm clocks he bought] Goodnight, Gare-bear. [hops into bed and goes to sleep]
[Gary goes to sleep as well. The next morning, the fire hydrant alarm clock goes off and scares Gary. The firefighter figure sprays water in SpongeBob's body, making him bigger. But SpongeBob continues to sleep.]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] One hour later...
SpongeBob: [wakes up] Huh? [panics and rushes over to the Krusty Krab, but trips over due to being to big from absorbing the water]
[SpongeBob meets up Mr. Krabs and Squidward outside the restaurant. Mr. Krabs is angry with SpongeBob while Squidward finds this very amusing.]
Mr. Krabs: [sticks a late paper on SpongeBob] Late.
[The scene changes to SpongeBob setting his punching bag alarm clock.]
SpongeBob: I hope this one works. [hops into his bed and goes to sleep]
[The next morning, the punching bag alarm clock unzips itself. A bell is heard in the background and a boxing glove punches SpongeBob out of bed, injuring him in the process.]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] Late again...
[SpongeBob meets up Mr. Krabs and Squidward outside the restaurant again, this time on a wheelchair. Mr. Krabs is still angry with SpongeBob while Squidward still finds this very amusing.]
Mr. Krabs: [sticks a late paper on SpongeBob's cast] Late!
[The scene changes to SpongeBob sleeping in his bed with his jellyfish hive alarm clock set. It goes off and jellyfish fly onto SpongeBob.]
SpongeBob: Huh? [gets stung by the jellyfish]
French Narrator: [narrating time card] You get the idea!
[SpongeBob meets up Mr. Krabs and Squidward outside the restaurant again with his body all puffy from the jellyfish.]
Mr. Krabs: [sticks a late paper on SpongeBob] Late! [shows SpongeBob on fire with a late paper] Late! [shows SpongeBob with a clam eating his head and with a late paper on its shell] Late! [shows SpongeBob as a pile of dust on the ground with a late flag] Still late! [shows SpongeBob with arrows sticking through his head and a late paper] Late! [shows SpongeBob getting late papers all over his face] Late, late, late, late, late, late, late!
Squidward: [sticks a late paper on SpongeBob] Still late. [smiles maliciously at SpongeBob as he whimpers]
Mr. Krabs: Late again. [the papers fall off of SpongeBob] I told you before that you best not be late or else! But this time, I'll be emphasizing it with a furrowed brow. [looks closer at SpongeBob] Or else.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob's pineapple home. SpongeBob is sitting in his chair with Gary on his head, thinking about what Mr. Krabs said.]
SpongeBob: Oh, I don't know how many more "or else" I can take. [looks at the alarm clock next to him] I have to figure out a way to wake up on time.
[The alarm clock rings. Gary meows excitedly and runs over to his food bowl. The feeding machine pours snail food into his bowl and Gary eats it.]
SpongeBob: Hey, what a great idea!
[SpongeBob gets up from his chair, takes all of the alarm clocks and goes off to do something with them. It took him all night long until morning arises. SpongeBob, who is now tired, goes back into his house. He climbs into bed and goes to sleep. Just then, the alarm system rings loudly and shines 6:00 down at him. The punching bag alarm clock punches SpongeBob out of his bed and lands into a wagon. The fire hydrant alarm clock sprays water at the wagon and sends SpongeBob to the door. The cuckoo clock ejects a boot and gives the wagon a little push. Outside the house, a loud thud and buzzing noise is heard. A clock with a spring pushes SpongeBob out from the front door. SpongeBob then rolls himself down the street into downtown Bikini Bottom. The street line of clocks push SpongeBob gently further down the street with their pendulums. SpongeBob rolls over to a clock in the middle of an intersection. The giant hand pushes SpongeBob to the other side. SpongeBob rolls through a painting scene that looks similar to The Persistence of Memory painting. Meanwhile at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs and Squidward are anxiously waiting for SpongeBob to arrive.]
Mr. Krabs: Hmm, I really thought that last "or else" would've worked. Maybe I should've wagged my finger.
[SpongeBob continues to roll down the street. The wagon stops and gets sucked into the sand. The sand turns out to be part of an hour glass. The door of the hour glass opens and SpongeBob rolls out while covered in sand. Sand flies off of SpongeBob's face. The wagons rolls SpongeBob right past Mr. Krabs and Squidward and into the front doors of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is really happy that SpongeBob made it to work while Squidward stood there in complete disbelief.]
Mr. Krabs: Right on time! [turns to another sponge named SpongeTom while Squidward groans in defeat] Looks like I won't be needing you after all, SpongeTom.
SpongeTom: [throws his spatula onto the ground] D'oh! [stomps away]
[SpongeBob rolls into the restaurant and crashes into the register boat. SpongeBob flies into the kitchen and kicks a plank, knocking over a barrel.]
SpongeBob: [half awake] Good morning...
[The barrel hits SpongeBob's head and puts his working hat on. SpongeBob continues to sleep as some wood burns on the grill, giving away some smoke. The smoke goes up the chimney, activating the log-shaped cuckoo clock. The clock's archer figure shots an arrow at Gary.]
Gary: Meow! [groans as he pulls the roll for SpongeBob's contraption]
[It turns out that SpongeBob spent the entire night at the Krusty Krab, building a contraption out of the alarm clocks he bought. The contraption is made to create Krabby Patties for the customers. As ingredients are being hung over a rope, one clock uses its pendulum to cut the patties in pieces. One cuckoo clock blasts fire at the patties. A lighthouse clock rolls out the buns. One clock spirts mustard and ketchup on the buns. All of the ingredients fall into the funnel and form into Krabby Patties. One patty falls on a catapult. It flings the patty toward a sleeping SpongeBob. SpongeBob's snoring blows a bubble for the patty to fly into. The bubble with the patty inside floats over the window. It pops and the patty falls on the plate, ringing the bell.]
Squidward: [takes the patty and gives it to the customer] Sadly, it looks like your order's on time today. [gives the customer the patty and the bell rings again for the next order] D'oh!
[The customer sticks a dollar in Mr. Krabs' pants.]
Mr. Krabs: [gleefully giggles and goes into the kitchen with his pants full of money] Glad you finally woke up on time, boy-o! [laughs as he leaves the kitchen]
[SpongeBob continues to sleep while the contraption continues making patties.]
SpongeBob: [sleepily] Just five more minutes, Gary. [leans over until Gary pushes him up]
[Squidward gives another customer a patty. Just then, Bubble Bass cuts in front of the line.]
Squidward: Sir, there's a line.
Bubble Bass: I'm filing a complaint. [holds out his half-eaten patty] I ordered this with extra pickles. And I only count fourteen.
Squidward: [places Bubble Bass' patty on the window] SpongeBob, we got a wrong order.
[SpongeBob continues to sleep. His snoring blows a bubble and floats a patty to the window. The bubble pops and the patty lands on the grill, setting it on fire. The fire builds up so much power in the chimney that is makes the wood-shaped alarm clock shoot various arrows at Gary. Gary yelps in pain and runs off while pulling the contraption's rope. SpongeBob's clock contraption goes haywire and it clogs up the funnel, making it explode and leaving the kitchen a total mess.]
Mr. Krabs: [comes in after hearing the explosion] What in Poseidon's beard?!
SpongeBob: [gasps as he finally wakes up] Oh! Oh! Good morning, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: It's not a good morning. First, you're late for days, and now you destroyed me kitchen!
[SpongeBob looks around and sees the mess the kitchen is in. SpongeBob giggles nervously at his angry boss.]
Mr. Krabs: [looms his angry eyes down at SpongeBob] Oh, looks like it's—
SpongeBob: [sweating nervously] Time for "or else?"
Mr. Krabs: You better be at work on time or else [calmly] I'll have to open up and close the restaurant an hour later.
SpongeBob: [confused] Uh, what? [gets upset] No! [falls to his knees as Mr. Krabs smiles maliciously at SpongeBob]
[Suddenly, Patrick comes into the kitchen.]
Patrick: I did it! [shows SpongeBob the alarm clock and it's fixed]
SpongeBob: [gasps] Yes! Oh, Patrick, you fixed it!
Patrick: Uh, kind of.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob sleeping in his bed the next morning. The foghorn alarm clock rings with Patrick making sound effects in the blowhorn. SpongeBob and Patrick share a good laugh and the episode irises out.]