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"If the pineapple fits, live in it."
—Narrator
Bikini Bottom Mysteries is a web series of shorts focusing the mysteries surrounding the various residents of Bikini Bottom. The web series is primarily a parody of conspiracy theories and contains numerous clips from various episodes. The series began on November 6, 2018, on Facebook[1] and the SpongeBob SquarePants Official YouTube channel.
A second season began on May 30, 2019[2] and a third season began on October 25, 2020.
"There's something fishy about Bikini Bottom. Deep within its murky depths, lie dark secrets, strange citizens, and tragic untold stories. Now you can discover their shocking truth behind everyone's favorite underwater city, where nothing is at it seems... This is Bikini Bottom Mysteries." -Narrator
Description[]
Each episode of Bikini Bottom Mysteries focuses on a different Bikini Bottom resident, and is narrated by an unnamed detective. The episodes start with the detective talking about the life and habits of the fish, before going on to talk about several examples (called "exhibits") of the fish in question being overly mysterious, law defying, or out of place compared to other residents. The detective also shows clips of the subject in question, usually showing oddities related to them. At the episode's end, the detective sums up everything revealed about the fish.
Each episode ends with a bonus mystery, which is usually an animation error or a defiance of logic (such as the fire underwater in "Life of Crime"). The detective then files the bonus mystery under a letter, like "F" for "Fishy."
Then, the narrator does his outro that tells viewers to comment on their ideas for new cases and to like and subscribe. He also shares his quote, "If the pineapple fits, live in it."
Episodes[]
The series has a total of 25 episodes over 4 seasons.
Season 1[]
There's Something Fishy About Frank (Episode 1)[]
Episode 1 focuses on Incidental 42 (named Frank), who the detective describes as a Krabby Patty-loving blue shirt aficionado with a promising future as an interior decorator (shown by a clip of "Patty Hype" where Frank talks about the drabness of the Krusty Krab). After showing his various hobbies, the detective starts talks about how mysterious Frank is:
- Exhibit A: Multiple wives. Frank seemingly has multiple wives other than Nancy Suzy Fish (by showing clips of him having lunch with several female fish)
- Exhibit B: Multiple identities. Frank goes by multiple identities (noting how he goes by Dave in "Valentine's Day" and Percy in "I Had an Accident")
- Exhibit C: His voice. Two clips are shown of Frank talking
- from "Krusty Towers" where he orders a Krabby Patty, speaking in a standard male voice.
- from "Selling Out" where he asks a question, speaking in a female voice.
The detective then recounts the oddities surrounding Frank (his wives, identities, and voice) and states that while the truth about Frank's real identity may never be found, he is definitely hiding something.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how Patrick was able to light a fire underwater in "Life of Crime," and wonders if Bikini Bottom defies physics or if magic is involved. He then files the mystery under "H" for "Huh?"
Is the Purple Doctor Fish A Medical Maniac?! (Episode 2)[]
Episode 2 focuses on the Incidental 116 (named the Purple Doctor Fish), who the detective notes are usually the first person who treats injured or ill patients, and that he has no actual name. He then goes on to talk about how the doctor is "off" in a few ways:
- Exhibit A: His patients. The doctor's lack of medical experience (by showing several clips of moments where he made false predictions to some of his patients, namely Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob, while also noting how he doesn't wear gloves or shoes when operating.)
- Exhibit B: Hospital horrors. The doctor's cruel treatments for his patients (as shown in "Suds"), his misuse of medical supplies (by using needles to tranquilize people in "Demolition Doofus"), and his refusal to treat wimps (as seen when he tells SpongeBob to get treated at Weenie Hut General in "No Weenies Allowed").
- Theory: The detective makes a theory that the Purple Doctor Fish actually never existed. He notices how the doctor is bad at treating patients, but has a lot of knowledge when handling pets, mainly Sea snails. A clip of "Band Geeks" reveals that the doctor is actually from a pet hospital, which leads to the next exhibit.
- Exhibit C: The snail doctor. The Purple Doctor Fish looks and sounds extremely similar to snail expert Dr. Gill Gilliam from "Once Bitten," possibly meaning that the Purple Doctor Fish is a disguise for Dr. Gilliam. While there is a problem with the Purple Doctor Fish having fins compared to Gilliam having hands, it is suggested that since SpongeBob can wear fake buff arms (shown in MuscleBob BuffPants), Gilliam could wear fake purple fins. He states there's no way to know that for certain...unless he "forgets" to wear his fins. Clips from "I Was a Teenage Gary" are shown of the Purple Doctor Fish having orange hands, which confirms that the two doctors are the same person.
The detective wonders if Dr. Gilliam disguises himself to commit crimes like burglary, arson, and piracy (with the last point being true, as he is a pirate in "Pull Up a Barrel"). The detective questions the various disguises, before stating that while the doctor's motives are unknown, the detective is onto the doctor's act.
Bonus Mystery: The detective notes several moments where SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick are able to blow bubbles (in "Wormy"), use whistles (in "Prehibernation Week"), and eat apples (in "A Flea in Her Dome") despite wearing water or air helmets on their heads. He then files the mystery under "U" for "Uhhhhhh."
Is Harold A Ticking Timebomb?! (Episode 3)[]
Episode 3 focuses on Incidental 40 (named Harold), who the detective describes an average underwater mountaineer (as revealed in "Are You Happy Now?"), fashion enthusiast (when Stanley dresses him in "Stanley S. SquarePants"), and a dedicated Glove World! employee (shown in "Roller Cowards"). However, the detective goes on to talk about how, under his harmless exterior, Harold could be a ticking time bomb:
- Exhibit A: His appetite. Harold has a large appetite and is usually seen eating food, which includes other fish (as seen when he bites Nat's arm in "The Play's the Thing"), and the detective notes how Harold has sharp jagged teeth like that of a predator.
- Exhibit B: His temper. Harold has a huge temper and gets angry at the slightest things (like how he literally exploded in anger in "Stanley S. SquarePants"), and Harold always gets into fights and even starts some (like in "Band Geeks"). The detective notes that a big thing that triggers his temper is the elderly (as shown when he gets angry at Incidental 85 in "The Bully" and Mr. Krabs in "Band Geeks").
- Exhibit C: Boo-Boo keys. Harold had an emotional breakdown when he was reminded of his imaginary friend, his Boo-boo keys, in "Bubble Buddy." The detective notes how this may be related to his aggressive eating, anger issues, and problems with the elderly.
The detective theorizes that Harold is either a big softie who misses playing with his boo-boo keys, or an utter lunatic (as shown when he has a mental breakdown and starts cradling and talking to himself after his Pet Store is destroyed in "Gary in Love"). He then states that while it's a mystery how Harold works, he is still a time bomb waiting to go off.
Bonus Mystery: The detective shows clips of Gary the Snail and notes that his shell has five blue spots and a red spiral. However, in "Treats!" Gary's shell has red spots and a blue spiral instead. The detective questions if this Gary is an impostor, and if Gary is hiding something. He then files the mystery under "W" for "What the barnacles (is going on)?".
What is Nat Peterson Hiding?! (Episode 4)[]
Episode 4 focuses on Incidental 41 (named Nat Peterson), who the detective describes as the first Bikini Bottomite to be both a pastor and a bus driver (as shown in "Just One Bite" and "Sandy's Nutmare" respectively) who others say is an outstanding citizen with a heart of gold. Despite this, the detective talks about how Nat has a dark past, which includes being involved in the "biggest underwater fast food scandal in history" (when Karen paid him to eat at the Chum Bucket in "Plankton's Regular") and more:
- Exhibit A: Hidden cash. Nat lives a modest life in a trailer in the Bikini Bottom Trailer Park, but always seems to have vast amounts of money for purchasing eccentric headwear (like $1,000 for Plankton's Stench-vision goggles in "Move It or Lose It," or $100,000 for Mr. Krabs' Soda drinking hat in "One Krabs Trash") as if he would pay anything for a disguise.
- Exhibit B: Sabotage. Whenever a Krusty Krab employee is in trouble, Nat always seems to be nearby (like when SpongeBob got stuck in Rock Bottom in "Rock Bottom," when Squilliam Fancyson humiliated Squidward in "Squilliam Returns," or when Mr. Krabs nearly married Cashina in "Married to Money").
- Exhibit C: The supernatural. Nat has supernatural powers like super strength (when he single-handedly flips a boatmobile in "Move It or Lose It"), shape-shifting (when he transforms his head into a live-action human hand in "Free Samples"), and cloning (shown when eight Incidental 41s are seen in the same crowd in "As Seen on TV").
The detective summarizes what has been discovered and questions what Incidental 41 actually is. He then comments that while the truth may never be revealed, he (and others) are afraid of Nat's powers.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how there can be rain, clouds, and lightning underwater in the episodes "Nasty Patty" and "A Friendly Game." He then files the mystery under "F" for "Fishy."
Watch Out For Mable! (Episode 5)[]
Episode 5 focuses on Incidental 82 (named Mable), who the detective describes as one of Bikini Bottom's oldest citizens, an ally to Mermaid Man (shown in "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" where Mermaid Man summons her to remove SpongeBob and Patrick from Shady Shoals Rest Home) and Larry the Lobster's mother (revealed in "SpongeGuard on Duty"). He then warns that Mable may actually be "more dangerous than an Alaskan Bull Worm," as shown:
- Exhibit A: That stare. Mable has a constant emotionless stare at nearly all times, despite what disasters are happening (like when SpongeBob broke his thumbs in "Two Thumbs Down," when SpongeBob disappeared in "Prehibernation Week," or after everyone was cured of the Krabby Patty creatures virus in "Krabby Patty Creature Feature").
- Exhibit B: Prison ties. Mable has visited her husband, Dennis, in the Bikini Bottom Jail in "Jailbreak!," though they are seated several feet apart. Several other episodes like "Sportz?," "The Sewers of Bikini Bottom," and "No Pictures Please" feature the couple standing close to each other, but at such a distance that people wouldn't assume they are related. The detective questions why the two are seemingly having secret meetings.
- Exhibit C: Supervillains. Mable has once defied a superhero (by picking up a dollar despite Patrick Man's orders in "Patrick-Man!") and has a friendly relationship with supervillain Man Ray (in "Shuffleboarding" it's revealed that Man Ray took Mable to the prom).
The detective talks about Mable's prison ties and her relationship with Man Ray, before revealing that the villain Dirty Bubble has once disguised himself as Mable in "Patrick-Man!" He questions whether Mable was the Dirty Bubble all along, before saying that while we may never know the truth, there is still more to Mable than meets the eye.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Squidward is next-door neighbors with SpongeBob, but there are several instances where one of the houses disappears (like how SpongeBob's house is missing in "Krabby Road," and how Squidward's house disappears in "Missing Identity"). He wonders if someone pushed the houses (like in "Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm" where Bikini Bottom was pushed) or if the houses have minds of their own (as shown in "The Secret Box" when Squidward's house peers over Patrick's shoulder). He then files the mystery under "I" for "Impossible."
Scooter's Haunting Secret (Episode 6)[]
Episode 6 focuses on Scooter, who the detective describes as everyone's lovable beach bum with a thing for ripped pants (shown when he laughs at SpongeBob's ripped pants in "Ripped Pants"), and says most would describe him as a charming fish. The detective then goes on to say that something's "not quite right" with Scooter:
- Exhibit A: His accent. Scooter is known for his surfer accent, but it disappears when he wears a suit and tie (shown in "The Executive Treatment"). The detective questions whether Scooter is actually a surfer or a businessman, or just lying about being a surfer/businessman.
- Exhibit B: The incident. Scooter was involved in an incident where he drowned on Leif Erikson Day in "Bubble Buddy," and witnesses saw his angel speak about his death before flying up to heaven.
- Exhibit C: The undead. Despite the above incident, Scooter has been seen around town and has even been seen in three different places within the span of a few seconds (seen in "SpongeGuard on Duty"). The detective also notes that Scooter was part of the crowd watching Mr. Krabs bury himself in "Patty Hype," but soon left, possibly because watching a person getting buried alive was too reminiscent of his death.
The detective goes over what has been learned of Scooter, and questions whether he is haunting Bikini Bottom. He states that while we will nevertheless know the truth, Scooter is still out there.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how Goo Lagoon can have water underwater (which was mentioned earlier), and theories that it could actually be made of goo (seen in "It Came from Goo Lagoon") or that it is magic, before scientifically talking about there being a dissolution of salt deposits causing Goo Lagoon to have a higher salinity than nearby sea water, making it have a greater density. He then files the mystery under "P" for "Pretty smart, huh?"
Has Fred “My Leg” The Fish Been Using Fake Identities!? (Episode 7)[]
Episode 7 focuses on Fred, who the detective describes as an unlucky victim of the various disasters that happen in Bikini Bottom. The detective notes that Fred himself said that he breaks his leg in order to spend time with his crush Nurse Bazooka (shown in "My Leg!"). However, he then goes on to say that despite his beautiful singing voice (revealed when he sung "The Jellyfish Jelly Sandwich Song" in "Jellyfish Hunter"), there is something "off" about Fred:
- Exhibit A: Different appearances. Fred is shown to have multiple jobs, such as a spatula salesman (in "All That Glitters"), a janitor at Shady Shoals Rest Home (in "Doing Time"), a cameraman (in "Professor Squidward"), and a flag-twirler (in "Band Geeks"). The detective also note how he seems to change color from his usual green (as he is blue in "Something Smells" and purple in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie), that he sometimes has toes instead of fins (like in "My Leg!") and that sometimes he is a cowboy (in "Pest of the West"). The detective then questions if Fred has an army of clones (shown in "The Chaperone")
- Exhibit B: His leg. Fred is assumed by many to be unlucky or to have a weak leg as an explanation for his legs breaking, but the episode "My Leg!" reveals that he breaks them in order to spend time with Nurse Bazooka. The detective then questions how Fred knows where a disaster will happen so he can break his leg (such as the fire in "Wormy" or the traffic accident in "Boat Smarts"), and theorizes that Fred may actually be causing the accidents. The detective then reveals research showing fish never had legs to begin with (seen with Johnny Elaine).
- Exhibit C: Obsessions. Fred has an obsession with Nurse Bazooka, and the detective notes that Fred breaking his leg to see her is unhealthy. He then reveals that Fred was also a fanatic of Kevin C. Cucumber, and went as far as jumping off a cliff for Kevin (shown in "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic"). The detective questions who Fred will obsess over next, before showing a clip of "Squilliam Returns" where Fred is wearing a similar outfit to SpongeBob's. The detective comments on how SpongeBob and Fred have a history of stealing each other's clothing (as shown when SpongeBob steals Fred's clothes in "The String"), before questioning if Fred's next obsession is with SpongeBob.
The detective then states that while we will never know what is going on with Fred, he will definitely break his leg again, and again, and again.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Mrs. Puff seems innocent, before showing a clip from "No Free Rides" about her talking to herself of moving to a new city, starting a new boating school, and changing her name, before coming to her senses and refusing to do it again. The detective also talks about the recursive pictures Mrs. Puff owns in "No Free Rides" and "Bumper to Bumper," which feature a picture on the scene within a picture of the scene, infinitely repeating itself. He then files the mystery under "P" for "Puzzling."
The Curious Case of Old Man Jenkins (Episode 8)[]
Episode 8 focuses on Old Man Jenkins, who the detective describes as a farmer turned sailor turned cannonball (shown in "The Sponge Who Could Fly"). He then goes on to comment that further investigation revealed that nothing is as it seems with Old Man Jenkins.
- Exhibit A: Body doubles. The detective reveals that throughout his investigations, five different fish claimed to be Old Man Jenkins; the previously mentioned farmer/sailor/cannonball, a bearded fish, a jalopy-driving fish, a wheelchair-bound fish, and a short green fish. While not mentioned, he was also a pilot in Creature from the Krusty Krab, despite saying he hates planes. The detective questions who is the real Old Man Jenkins, and why they all claim to be Old Man Jenkins.
- Exhibit B: Suspicious behavior. The detective comments on how the Jenkins have shown suspicious behavior, and then plays a clip of "Plankton Paranoia" showing the short green Jenkins inside the Krusty Krab, and revealing how Old Man Jenkins is never seen leaving, meaning that he could have been in the Krusty Krab with the Krabby Patty secret formula overnight. A clip of "Call the Cops" reveals that the same Old Man Jenkins has somehow snuck into the Police Station's evidence room, along with the wheelchair-bound blue Old Man Jenkins. The detective questions whether the two Jenkins are evidence, or if they are destroying evidence, before wondering if all five Old Man Jenkins are working together.
- Exhibit C: Immortality. The detective then shows a clip of the past, where Mr. Krabs and Plankton were young friends working on the Krabby Patty secret formula (shown in "Friend or Foe"). The clip reveals that the bearded Old Man Jenkins was the taste tester of the boy's formula. Another clip shows the wheelchair-bound Jenkins was nearby when Mr. Krabs found his first penny, and a third clip shows that the short green Jenkins was a teacher of Mr. Krabs and Plankton when they were working on their formula. The detective notes how despite the clips being from the distant past, each Old Man Jenkins looks as old as their present day versions, hinting that the five Old Man Jenkins may be immortal.
The detective that recaps what was revealed, from the Jenkins hiding in the Krusty Krab and the evidence locker to the Jenkins seen in the distant past. He then question who these old men are, what they want with the Krabby Patty secret formula, and how do they never age. He wonders if the Jenkins themselves have a formula for immortality, before stating that while the secrets of the Jenkins are still hidden, the Jenkins are still really old.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about the Krabby Patty and how delicious it is, and then questions how the Krusty Krab gets tomatoes, onions, and lettuce when all of these ingredients are from above water. He files the mystery under "C" for "Classified," before joking that it's also "Under the Sea" due to how "C" and "Sea" are homophones.
The Chocolate Guy (Episode 9)[]
Episode 9 focuses on Incidental 6 (named Tom), who the detective describes as a local movie star with a tragic history of butt injuries (showing Tom in the iron butt from the episode "I Had an Accident"). He then states that under Tom's perfect hair, and oddly yellow eyes, something's not right about him.
- Exhibit A: Chocolate. The detective talks about Tom's meltdown at the mention of chocolate (shown in "Chocolate with Nuts"). One so extreme that it scared the barnacles out of two anonymous salesmen (SpongeBob and Patrick), he then states that chocolate isn't the only food that sets him off. A clip from "Pizza Delivery" is shown of Tom upset about not having his Diet Dr. Kelp, the detective then questions why Tom is suddenly orange. We then see a clip from "Fools in April" where he freaks out about his drink, specifically only having one ice cube. Another clip, this time from "No Weenies Allowed," where he overreacts about potato salad, which according to him, took three days to make. The detective then notes that his research on many potato salad recipes indicates that none of them take three days.
- Exhibit B: Strange behavior. The detective then brings up Tom's behavior, which appears normal at first, but is much stranger upon closer inspection. Such as not moving when at a concert, but looking at the singers without blinking (in the episode "Ripped Pants"), and disguising his voice when working at a retirement home (in "Doing Time"). He then mentions that Tom was caught trying to escape from Inferno Island (shown in "The Inmates of Summer"), a maximum-security prison where Bikini Bottom's worst criminals go. The detective mentions that while it's unknown why he was sent to prison, a background check revealed how sinister Tom really is.
- Exhibit C: Suspicious activity. The detective mentions a few of Tom's past misdeeds, such as putting a heavy drink on SpongeBob's hand in the episode "MuscleBob BuffPants." He mentions that while one may think SpongeBob's too weak to lift the glass, he shows various clips that reveal that SpongeBob is perfectly capable of lifting drinks, and mentions that lifting drinks is part of SpongeBob's job, and then questions who puts a drink on top of someone's hand before stating that it's possible that Tom intentionally made the drink very heavy and put it on SpongeBob's hand. The detective then mentions that in the episode "Bubble Buddy," Tom made false accusations about Bubble Buddy, such as arson (burning crops), poisoning the water supply, and biological warfare.
The detective recaps how Tom held SpongeBob hostage, tried to frame Bubble Buddy, and read a pamphlet about evil. He states that while we may never know why Tom is so sinister, it's clear that he's crazy for chocolate.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions that if Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen was number one, why does the grave say "Smitty WerbenManJensen," instead of "Smitty WerbenJagermanJensen." He then asks if the real number 1 is Smitty WerbenManJensen, and not Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen, and wonders what connection Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen has to Smitty WerbenManJensen, and files the case under "S" for "Smitty Werben Jager Man Jensen."
Suspicious Fishes (Episode 10)[]
Episode 10 focuses on various "suspicious fishes."
- Exhibit A: Flats. The detective talks about Flats, who seems to have hated SpongeBob ever since he first met him. He points out that SpongeBob invited him to his Texas party, and wonders who they are trying to fool by pretending to not know each other. A clip from "Sandy's Rocket" is then played, showing SpongeBob hiding in Flats's bathroom and capturing him. The detective then questions if this was SpongeBob and Flats's first meeting.
- Exhibit B: A mysterious little girl. The detective now talks about Incidental 102, the daughter of Incidental 49 (named Norma). He questions why she is shown in Mrs. Puff's Boating School and why she looks older, suggesting that she may be a time traveler who is trying to warn her younger self about something. He comments that this raises more questions than it answers.
- Exhibit C: Dr. Manowar. The detective changes their focus to Dr. Manowar. He notices that he has the same glasses as Dr. Gill Gilliam and the Purple Doctor Fish, questioning if Manowar could be another disguise.
The detective still questions why Bikini Bottom has so many strange citizens, but notes that there are still many more that haven't been covered.
Bonus Mystery: The detective questions how SpongeBob is able to drive a rock in "Pizza Delivery" without a drivers' license or even a steering wheel. He also remembers that Rocky was able to win a race despite not being a snail. He questions if the rocks in Bikini Bottom are alive, and files the case under "W" for "wait a minute."
Season 2[]
The Flying Dutchman (Episode 11)[]
Episode 11 focuses on The Flying Dutchman, who the detective describes as a notorious flirt with the ability to distort time, space, and reality itself.
- Exhibit A: Suspicious origins. The detective talks about the Flying Dutchman's origin of being used as a window display upon death, and haunting the sea due to never being put to rest. But then the detective wonders whether or not the story is true, and sees two problems with it. #1 The detective states that he's not convinced that being used as a fashion display would even upset the Dutchman, saying that he is evidenced to actually love fashion, like how he's obsessed with his Dining Sock, always carries his name brand SOULS bag, is precious about his beard, and even has a perfume department onboard his ship (seen in "Shanghaied"). #2 the Dutchman has contradicted this origin story, when picking out "the shirt he was buried in" from his closet (in "The Curse of Bikini Bottom"). The detective wonders how the Flying Dutchman could've been buried in said shirt if he was supposedly never buried at all. He then asks if the origin story is just a lie used to justify the Dutchman's horrific deeds.
- Exhibit B: Davy Jones. The detective then mentions that the Dutchman works for Davy Jones, as his job is to take people to Davy Jones' Locker. He then wonders where Davy is, and why there are so many socks in the locker (in "Born Again Krabs"). After the Dutchman states that Davy Jones works out a lot, the detective then reveals that Davy Jones was last sighted in the Flying Dutchman's closet as a skeleton. He then ask who the socks really belong to. He makes the connection that they are actually the Dutchman's since he loves socks, has a bunch of socks in Davy Jones' Locker, and Davy Jones is a skeleton in his closet. The detective subsequently asks what kind of sicko would go this far just for storage space for his socks, coming to the conclusion of a lonely sicko.
- Exhibit C: Crippling loneliness. The detective mentions that SpongeBob has met the Dutchman over ten times, and then asks the audience how many encounters with powerful undead ghostly psychopomps they've had in their life, and then ask if they even know what a psychopomp is before showing the definition of psychopomp onscreen (a guide of souls to the place of the dead). He then mentions that the Dutchman goes out of his way to hang out with SpongeBob, such as showing up to teach him to tie knots, dropping his anchor on SpongeBob's house, supposedly by accident, and trying to make SpongeBob part of his ghostly crew. He asks if it's a coincidence, or if it's possible that the Dutchman isn't so evil, that he simply wants a friend. He then asks "what good is eternity on a ghost ship if you have no one to share it with?, What good is your own personal perfume department, if there's no one to comment on how good you smell? And what good's a dining sock if you're dining alone?" He states that behind all the horrifying imagery, scary stories, and implications of foul play, the Flying Dutchman might just be a lonely pirate looking for a friend.
The detective states that while we may never know the truth, but then gets interrupted by Patrick and gives up.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about the eyelash sweater SpongeBob made Squidward, but realizes it's actually SpongeBob's eyebrows that are missing, and that he only had six eyelashes, and then asks what the sweater is really made of. Then we see the sweater of tears, causing the detective to ask how SpongeBob can make a sweater out of water if he's already underwater, he then files it under "W" for "Why don't you just make a normal sweater?"
Lou, the Sick, Vicious Fish! (Episode 12)[]
Episode 12 focuses on Incidental 39 (named Lou), who the narrator describes him as a person who would go anywhere to make a buck.
- Exhibit A: Ambition. The detective discusses Lou's many jobs, such as selling hot dogs, working at the Barg'N-Mart, and selling drinks outside Goo Lagoon.
- Exhibit B: Freebies. The detective talks about how Lou's customers are never seen paying, and an aerial shot showing his ice cream cart being empty. He questions how Lou is making money.
- Exhibit C: Profiteering. The detective suggests that Lou is profiting off disasters, such as supporting an angry mob and selling fish sticks made from spectators of The Fry Cook Games.
The detective concludes by once again saying that we may never solve this mystery, but that he does know to not buy Lou's fish sticks.
Bonus Mystery: The detective points out that the Dirty Bubble, despite being Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch-nemesis, does not seem to be evil, such as participating in book clubs and wearing hats. He files the case under F for "Free the Dirty Bubble."
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! (Episode 13)[]
Episode 13 focuses on Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. The detective points out how the two of them, now retired, are renowned heroes who have a history of protecting Bikini Bottom from supervillains time and time again, but then raises the question of whether they are actually masterminds of a decades-long conspiracy that involves mind control and criminal collusion.
- Exhibit A: Fading Fame. The detective explains that between merchandise, adoring fans, and TV shows, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are no strangers to fame, but it isn't enough to satisfy them. He accuses them of being glory hounds and points out that they've gotten themselves yet another TV reboot, demanded a "living legends" discount from the Krusty Krab, and even teamed up with Man Ray to star in a Krusty Krab commercial just to be on TV again. The detective questions how far Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy will go to keep their fame from fading, and wonders if they'll turn to villainy to achieve this aspiration.
- Exhibit B: Hypnosis. The detective questions what the M on Mermaid Man's belt really stands for. He proposes that it could stand for "mind control," considering Mermaid Man is known to have the ability to control minds. The detective then brings up some times in which Mermaid Man used his mind control powers to force people to do things like attack SpongeBob and Patrick or eat at the Chum Bucket. The detective wonders if there are any other ways the crime-fighting duo broadcasts their messages, and brings up hypnosis. He points out that the intro of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy TV show has a swirling screen, and urges the audience to look away from it. Next, the detective deduces that if Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have a captive audience, then it could be that they also have captive enemies.
- Exhibit C: Illusion. The detective states that there is evidence that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy don't just fight evil; they enable it. He explains how Man Ray, the heroes' worst enemy, is always in peak physical condition because Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy preserve him in tartar sauce, and they also utilize the Tickle Belt to keep him under control. The detective concludes that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, despite having the ability to stop Man Ray from doing any harm, allow him to do so anyway just so they can play the role of the heroes. The detective then moves on to the Dirty Bubble, theorizing that he is under the duo's employment. He points out that the Dirty Bubble regenerates from the Dirty Bubble Wand, which Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy have in their possession.
The detective concludes his case by stating that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are actually evil puppeteers who unleash their enemies on the city just so they can have something to do.
Bonus Mystery: The detective points out that the Krusty Krab is famous for its Krabby Patties but points out one item on the menu that stands out from the rest: the Golden Loaf. He questions what a Golden Loaf is, how it's made, what it tastes like, if it has real gold in it, why it only costs $2, and why it's even on the menu. He then files the mystery under J for "Just Order a Krabby Patty."
Perch Perkins After Teevee Fame (Episode 14)[]
Episode 14 focuses on Perch Perkins, who the detective describes as the "comforting constant voice of his community." But then wonders if there's something ugly under his cheerful exterior.
- Exhibit A: A changed fish. The detective recalls Perch's old job as a sports announcer, and how he was a little absent minded, saying it was part of his "folksy charm," and lists the changes he made when he moved to news reports. Like how he slicked and shellacked his hair, changed the color of his scales from green, to orange, then purple, had plastic surgery to make his chin smoother, and got his rough dorsal fin removed, and then mentions that he didn't just change on the outside.
- Exhibit B: Spoiled Fish. The detective wonders if Perch has gotten an ego, and states how he'll stomp off his own set, only wears a blazer (and not pants) because that's all the camera shows, will yank the microphone away from his interviewees, shove subjects out of frame, calls his viewers "bottom feeders," calls his guests "know-it-alls," and shames Squidward for inviting a mirror to a gallery opening, and then wonders if Perch is in a total downward spiral.
- Exhibit C: Floundering. The detective states how Perch has gone from a hotdog eater at Goo Lagoon to a culinary king maker, million dollar mobile, Krabby conspiracy whistle blower, and even reporting news in New Kelp City. But then asks if he's going insane, shown by him leaping into the highly polluted Goo Lagoon mid-broadcast, which is not normal, and sleeping in a dumpster. He then questions if this is a plea for publicity, or a cry for help, wondering if going back to being a sports announcer is enough to help Perch regain his sanity.
The detective then questions who Perch Perkins really is, a smooth smarmy newscaster, a demanding diva, an off the rails reporter barely holding it together, or just a hometown hero in headphones yearning for the simple life.
Bonus Mystery: This mystery regards the "So long shrimp" scene from "The Algae's Always Greener". The detective points out that Mr. Krabs calls Plankton a "shrimp" when a shrimp the same size as the average fish is seen exiting the restaurant. The detective hypothesizes that the shrimp seen is a jumbo shrimp, and normal-sized shrimp are Plankton's size. He files the case under S for "Show us more shrimp."
Norma the Abnormal! (Episode 15)[]
Episode 15 focuses on Incidental 49 (named Norma), who the detective states follows the latest fads, has many jobs, and shows up to Bikini Bottom's coolest events, before asking if there's something abnormal about her.
- Exhibit A: On edge. The detective discusses how Norma seems mild mannered on the outside but is hysterical on the inside. He talks about her panicking about a monster, which seems reasonable, but mentions that she overreacts about a squirrel, a snail, the latest dance craze, and SpongeBob's tan, before wondering if she has something to hide.
- Exhibit B: Cold-blooded. The detective talks about how Norma seems cheerful and charming, giving out free cookies, hosting a hug fest, and having a sweet tooth, but then brings up how her "care" as a nurse brought Plankton disguised as Gary from healthy, to bandaged and bed ridden. He also mentions how unsanitary her tools are, before asking if these are innocent errors, or a cover for something crueler, possibly having ice in her veins. The detective then mentions how Norma attacked SpongeBob while acting scared, by ramming him with her baby carriage, and then stomped him into the dirt, as well as stealing food from her own baby, asking if it's for personal gain, or her own entertainment.
- Exhibit C: Appetite for agony. The detective reveals that Norma has a front row seat for every event, even suffering, such as Mr. Krabs burying himself alive, Squidward getting his face slammed by a metal door. Even seeking out a snack while waiting for Patrick Star to get mauled! The last thing that's mentioned is Norma (despite being a nurse) does nothing to help Andy Yellowtail when he's choking on the Nasty Patty, as if it's a show for her.
Then detective then asks if Norma is just a skittish socialite, or a connoisseur of cruelty, he then says while we may never know, it's clear that Norma is anything but normal.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about how Krabby Patties are made fresh to order, and don't age well, and that according to the sacred fry cook oath "That which is fried must be eaten." Asking, if that is the case, how and why there is a patty vault full of juicy Krabby Patties in perfect condition. Wondering if the vault is preserving them, and the reason for stockpiling them if they're made to order, and if SpongeBob has broken his oath. He then files it under "U" for "Unlock the vault."
One Way to Rock Bottom (Episode 16)[]
Episode 16 focuses on Rock Bottom. The detective says that the city can be accessible by the wrong bus ride from Globe World, only to experience something deeper and darker going on there.
- Exhibit A: Lawlessness. The people of Rock Bottom seem quite normal picking up snacks, buying bus tickets and doing their "business" only to notice that there would be a chance of crime around there. Things like stealing food and cutting in line.
- Exhibit B: Odd Fish Out. This exhibit involved the angler fish who was stranded in Rock Bottom and compares him to the Rock Bottom fish and the Bikini Bottom fish as was as the other angler fish. Also bringing up how he speaks perfect English without spitting, almost like he got dropped off, stuck a lamp on his head, and picked up the local accent in order to blend in.
- Exhibit C: Trapped. Only one road runs through Rock Bottom with only one "buz" stop where the bus became uncatchable many times to SpongeBob due to knowing the bus driver was Incidental 41 (Nat Peterson), who became hit several times by his Glove World Balloon.
The detective learns that there could be more to Rock Bottom than meets the eye and that we could not look ever further to Peterson's crimes, but one thing we can learn from him: to not take Peterson's bus.
Bonus Mystery: Land animals have no problem communicating with sea animals, as long as they have a way to breathe. The detective tells that the monster (from "Wormy") requires a bubble to breathe, but there are spiders and cockroaches who lurk around Bikini Bottom. The detective files this case under "H" for "Has this been bugging anyone else?"
The Shady Miss Shell! (Episode 17)[]
Episode 17 focuses on Incidental 93 (named Miss. Shell), who according to the detective, sasses ghosts, shushes troublemakers, and sells seashells down by the seashore (which he realizes she doesn't do). Stating how she seems like a plucky old lady but wonders if there's more to her than meets the eye.
- Exhibit A: Seeing double. The detective mentions that she was SpongeBob's old kindergarten teacher and wonders how after so many years she is still so spry. He goes on to say that in one clip, Miss Shell is slumping into her vichyssoise, but then shows another clip where Miss Shell sprints through the streets of Bikini Bottom. The detective keeps showing various clips where Miss Shell is a generic old lady, but then shows a clip of Miss Shell being a bit more than that after each one. He goes on to question how Miss Shell can have radically different personalities and rapidly changing abilities, theorizing that there is more than one Miss Shell, one being elderly fragile and hopelessly gullible, and the other one being a fiery fish, with a pension for stunts. The detective then shows a clip where the double is caught on camera, proving the theory. He then asks that if there are two different Miss Shells, wouldn't someone notice, and then goes on to question if someone already has.
- Exhibit B: Cold shoulder. The detective says that Miss Shell is pretty memorable, and she and SpongeBob cross paths again and again. He then mentions that she was SpongeBob's kindergarten teacher. The detective questions why SpongeBob doesn't recognize his kindergarten teacher, going on to say that SpongeBob was willing to break his other teacher, Mrs. Puff, out of jail, and that SpongeBob counts his old kindergarten classmates as his closest friends. The detective wonders why Miss Shell gets the cold shoulder, thinking that SpongeBob is the only one who knows that the Miss Shell he keeps crossing paths with isn't the real Miss Shell. The detective then asks why Miss Shell would need to have a double, and why we never see the two Miss Shells in the same place.
- Exhibit C: Dennis the Menace. The detective asks if Miss Shell's double is so she can bust her long, long, long-time boyfriend, Dennis out, because even though Miss Shell and Dennis have a long-running relationship, Miss Shell is not Mrs... whatever Dennis' last name is, even though Miss Shell is still looking for a ring, even jumping for the bride's bouquet at a wedding. But the detective brings up the fact that Dennis is already married to Mable. He then mentions that Dennis, while he is leading on Miss Shell, and maintaining a marriage with Mable, he has been seen dining with other ladies.
The detective wonders if Miss Shell's double act a way to catch out Dennis but knows one thing for sure: Don't cross Miss Shell.
Bonus Mystery: The detective brings up the fact that Janet and Marty are two suspicious starfishes. He says they claim they don't have kids. He then questions how they knew Patrick's name, theorizing many different possibilities. The detective then files the case under "M" for "Marty, I'm scared!"
The Cunning Con Man! (Episode 18)[]
Episode 18 focuses on Incidental 118C (called the Con Man), who the detective states that he is known to do cons, and swindles to people.
- Exhibit A: Return on investment. The detective talks saying he may look like he's got his con game down, by turning his sob story into cold hard cash. But then questions if the profit he makes off his con game is really worthwhile, considering how much he has to spend to buy all the crates of chocolate bars, candy bar bags, fake medical equipment, and houses. "All that for a few bucks, on the off-chance a couple of suckers will come by selling chocolate?," the detective asks, just before suspecting if the con man's playing a much bigger game.
- Exhibit B: Impersonation. The detective mentions how the con man shares some physical and social similarities, with Andy Yellowtail, stating that all he (the con man) would need to do to copy Andy's appearance is put on some make up to change his lip color, allowing him to eat at the Krusty Krab for free. As well as stating that it's possible that the Fake health inspector who was captured may not be the only fake health inspector, saying that no one would look for another fake inspector if they think the only one's been caught, calling it the perfect crime.
- Exhibit C: The Perfecter Crime. The detective questions how the con man could get away with his crimes, without drawing the attention of the authorities. Then points out how similar the con man is, in appearence, to Light purple officer (on top of Andy Yellowtail), suggesting the two are one in the same, that he switches identities to mislead the authorities and ward off suspicion, so that, as far as the cops are concerned, the con man doesn't exist.
After playing the clip of the Con Man saying, "Happy hunting" the detective replies "Happy hunting, indeed."
Bonus Mystery: The detective asks who Pearl's best friend is, seeing how her friends Nancy and Tina didn't show up to her sixteenth birthday. He then files the case under "B," subfolder "F," sub-subfolder "F" for "Best friends for never."
Norton The Neglectful Mailman (Episode 19)[]
Episode 19 focuses on Incidental 154 (named Norton). The detective starts by stating that nobody notices Norton, while showing us a clip of Norton shouting "When's Norton's time to shine!?" Then the detective goes on to ask if Norton is looking for his time to shine, or if staying under the radar is really what he wants.
- Exhibit A: Avoiding contact. The detective states that Norton will do anything to avoid other fish, such as keeping up his regular habit of walking around town with his eyes shut (probably to avoid eye contact). The detective then mentions that Norton's response to a daily greeting is literally running away (seen in "Chocolate with Nuts"). He then says that Norton'll even stuff mail in someone's mouth (seen in "Big Pink Loser") to stop them from starting a conversation with him, probably because of not wanting to talk to anyone. He then goes on to say that Norton's behavior may be the acts of an introvert...or maybe a way to avert suspicion, to get away with just about anything.
- Exhibit B: Bad mail fish. The detective states that Norton is hardly jolly about his job and shows evidence that suggests he isn't good at it either (a clip from "Idiot Box" where Norton blatantly drops a fragile box on the ground and doesn't even ask for a signature, then another clip from "Wormy" where he runs away, dumping his whole bag of mail on the ground). He goes on to ask if Norton is just careless, or if he is a criminal. The detective shows some "post office surveillance footage" (from "Dear Vikings") that shows Norton throwing out a letter instead of delivering it, and then shows a clip (from "Hocus Pocus") where Norton places a parcel in a mailbox, saying that it contains a magic kit, even though the parcel is wrapped up tight and there would be no way to tell what it contains. Then the detective wonders if the reason that Norton knows what's in everyone's mail is because he's snooping through the post and shipments, opening everyone's mail. The detective then states that things only get worse, then shows a clip (from "Karate Island") of Norton somehow getting inside SpongeBob's house, even though the door naturally would be locked. He asks why Norton is breaking into houses.
- Exhibit C: The double. The detective wonders why Norton would be even doing his job, if he doesn't care about it. He then goes on to say that the only fish on Conch Street Norton's happy to see is Squidward. The detective then brings up the fact that Norton is at the scene when Squidward is almost at peak handsomeness (seen in "The Two Faces of Squidward"), that he shows up in court the very day Squidward is testifying. He says that Norton has cultivated some very specific taste, in fact, exactly like Squidward's taste: any delicious food that can be spread on a toast point (from "Squid Plus One"). But he then goes on to wonder if Norton is actually faking his taste, then showing evidence (from "Boating Buddies") that Norton's actual favorite snack is potato chips. The detective asks why he is pretending to love a different food than he actually loves, saying that he probably did it to mimic Squidward. He then wonders if Norton is actually jealous of Squidward.
The detective asks if Norton's adopted tastes, his disdain for his job, his dismissal of SpongeBob is all an act, a way to mimic Squidward, to mirror his every move, to become his exact double. He then wonders why anyone would want to be more like Squidward anyway.
Bonus Mystery: The detective wonders what Bikini Bottom's population really is, mentioning that at one point, there seemed to be at least 46,853 fish living in Bikini Bottom, but at another time, the population was only 538, and dropping. He asks how and why did the population plunge 98.8%, thinking of many potential reasons why. The detective then files the case under "W" for "Was there a wumbo wormhole?"
The Snail Epidemic (Episode 20)[]
Episode 20 focuses on The Snail Crisis.
- Exhibit A: The Strays.
- Exhibit B: Disappearances.
- Exhibit C: The Shells.
The Detective states that we'll never get to the bottom of this type of crisis but knows that there's something very slimy going on in Bikini Bottom.
Bonus Mystery: The detective talks about Bikini Bottom's most exclusive club, known as: The Magic Conch Club. The club that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward, the devotees of the Magic Conch Shell always consult the wisdom of the conch. He then questions how the Magic Conch's advice is always 100% right. And wonders how could it know that a feast would fall right out of the sky, that doing absolutely nothing was the key to survival. The detective then wonders if the Magic Conch Shell is calculating every possible outcome, and wonders if it is just dumb luck, or possibly, actually has mystical powers. And after the detective wonders, if the secrets of the Magic Conch will ever be revealed, the Magic Conch replies, "No," and then he files the case under "gargling" for "gargling."
Quick Case[]
Season 3[]
Is the Gold Team Actually Evil? (Episode 21)[]
Episode 21 focuses on Gold Team, one of two infamous search parties formed by Sandy Cheeks in "Prehibernation Week." But the detective questions if Gold Team's soul ambition is really to help Sandy find a suddenly missing sponge.
- Exhibit A: Dominant Disciples. The detective points out that Gold Team is composed of five different fish, each with their own sets of powers and abilities. Incidental 24 (named Tiber), a muscular fish who acts as the team's muscle/enforcer, just as long as his week constitutions don't stand in his way (demonstrated in "The Fry Cook Games"), Incidental 9 (named Henry), an orange fish who can change colors on command, and slip into any party in Bikini Bottom. Incidental 4 (named Steven), a snorkel fanatic with the ability to communicate with boots (demonstrated in "Squeaky Boots"), Incidental 60 (called a blue fish), who can blend in with both the young and old folks of Bikini Bottom without looking suspicious, and "clearly lies about his childhood" (as seen in "Chocolate with Nuts"), and Incidental 41 (named Nat Peterson), whose powers were already covered. The detective questions if these fish sound like the makings of an ordinary search party, while pointing out that their origin is riddled with contradictions.
- Exhibit B: Alpha Team. The detective then points out that in the supposed origin of Gold Team, when Sandy assigns the teams their names, Sandy assigns the name Alpha Team to the first group of customers standing in the back right corner of the Krusty Krab (the same spot where the members of Gold Team were standing). Thus, Gold Team was actually the team Sandy named Alpha Team, but they immediately decided to call themselves Gold Team against Sandy's orders. The detective then questions if Gold Team actually originated long before Sandy assigned them their name, with their soul purpose as not to search for missing fish, but to accomplish their "more sinister agenda."
- Exhibit C: Their More Sinister Agenda. The detective points out that every member of Gold Team was there during every major catastrophe in Bikini Bottom. Then he presents the scene in "Ripped Pants," where the leader, Tibor, was at Goo Lagoon lifting weights, but disappeared just before SpongeBob ripped his pants. He, the detective, then questions if SpongeBob's accident wasn't really an accident, but rather a thought-out attack, made by Tibor himself, on SpongeBob's pants, while also pointing out that some of the other members of Gold Team were there at Goo Lagoon that same day "to make sure the job got done." The detective then shows the scene from "Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm" where the citizens of Bikini Bottom discussed the Alaskan Bull Worm assault on Bikini Bottom, pointing out that Tibor wasn't present until Mr. Krabs brought up the worm eating everyone alive. While also pointing out that some of the other members of Gold Team was there in the meeting before Tibor showed up, probably working as spies for him, the detective proves that Gold Team has a knack for carnage. The detective then points out that Gold Team has been there for every other important meeting, visit from a high authority, and catastrophe in Bikini Bottom. Gold Team has even been invited to multiple parties in which only the highest order of people are invited to, which allows them to control many authoritative figures like the government and mayor of Bikini Bottom. The detective points out that each of the members of Gold Team have been placed in many organizations throughout town and have been exercising their authoritative influence on the city since the day they were created and even before.
The detective then states that maybe, only maybe, despite the politicians, kings, and even gods, Bikini Bottom is really being ruled over by the members of a slippery secret order "whose mantra is literally, Gold Team Rules."
Bonus Mystery: The detective introduces Wormy, an emotive worm who later turned into a harmless butterfly, but then questions if Wormy actually was harmless or actually hiding supernatural abilities. The detective points out a couple of strange events that took place during Wormy's harmless rampage, such as a meteor striking the city, and the citizens suddenly floating in the sky. The Detective questions if the citizens were right to fear Wormy after all, just before filing the case under "A" for "AHHHHHHHH!"
What's REALLY in the Krabby Patty Secret Formula (Episode 22)[]
Episode 22 focuses on the Krabby Patty. The Detective starts by pointing out the obvious fame of the underwater burger; how it makes schools of fish swarm the Krusty Krab every day, how it came to grocery stores (seen in "Goodbye, Krabby Patty?"), how it makes starfish "lose self-respect" (seen in "Graveyard Shift"). Then he goes on to point out, also, how everyone in Bikini Bottom not only wants Krabby Patties, but somehow, also creates a dire need for Krabby Patties.
- Exhibit A: Chronic Cravings. The detective discusses the addictive taste the Krabby Patty often possesses, so addictive that that if anyone takes even one bite, they'll always go back for more! Then he shows examples of this, such as Squidward Tentacles (seen in "Just One Bite"), Plankton, once having a promising future as a respected criminal now not hesitating to thrust himself into one of his machines just to get closer to a Krabby Patty (seen in "Plankton!"), and Patrick Star, once simply passionate about sleeping, now suffers from "Krabby Patty Withdrawl" (mentioned in "Pat No Pay"). Then the detective questions if it's the Krabby Patty consuming the customers, rather than the other way around as it seems, with its mysterious flavor and becoming the influence of every decision they make, like a successful business man shamelessly eating a rotted patty (seen in "Born Again Krabs"), a renowned fry cook dating a patty (seen in "To Love a Patty"), and even a famous superhero turning to the dark side just because he'd been denied a patty (seen in "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V").
- Exhibit B: Dangerous Ingredients. The detective claims that one of the main narratives of the Krusty Krab, that the Krabby Patty is healthy, could be a lie. Then he goes back in time to the very origin of the Krabby Patty (seen in "Friend or Foe"), which he believes could be the biggest cover-up in Bikini Bottom since the great balloon scandal (seen in "Life of Crime"). He introduces the creator of Krabby Patty Secret Formula; Mr. Eugene H. Krabs himself, but also points out that he was once "under the employ of" (in friendship with) his rival; Plankton. Together, the (once) best friends created their first attempt at a burger called the Plab Patty, which was proven to be gross, and even dangerous. This forced Krabs to alter the burger's recipe, adding six new ingredients to the patty batter, to make it safer to eat. But then the detective points out that the ingredients that were added to the batter were never taken out of their containers before being thrown in, and thus never actually mixed in with the batter and the batter was not changed. Finally, the detective concludes that the Krabby Patty is the exact same burger as the Plab Patty, and thus just as dangerous! The detective goes back to present days and points out how the Krabby Patty has caused more hospital emergencies, mental breakdowns, and zombie apocalypses (seen in "Krabby Patty Creature Feature") that any other food in the sea. He then questions how a simple re-branding of the disgusting burger tricked all of Bikini Bottom into loving it.
- Exhibit C: The Secret Formula. The detective points out how, for a very long time, even the most intelligent people in the sea have been baffled, looking for the answer to the supposedly simple question: What is the Krabby Patty's Secret Formula? The detective then shows three different written versions of the Secret Formula: One seen in "Krabby Road" that actually names some of the ingredients of a Krabby Patty (a teaspoon of Xuogfjeil, four cups of Gdsgehsg, and an unknown amount of chopped Dhfgh), another seen in "Spy Buddies" that translates into molecular physics (which the detective suspects is designed to make a burger that can actually control people's minds), and then a third document that contains an ingredient that is so repulsive (and just wrong) that Mr. Krabs has kept it a secret since the day the formula was created: a pinch of chum.
The detective questions if these horrifying secrets are true, or if the Krabby Patty is simply misunderstood. Finally, he concludes by once again saying that mystery will never be solved, but that these sandwiches will "literally go straight to your thighs."
Bonus Mystery: The detective states that it's no mystery that, since Bikini Bottom is on the ocean floor, it would be filled with many forms of marine life, while also pointing out that land creatures, like squirrels, cats, and monkeys, could not even visit the city without the help of specialized breathing equipment. But then he points out some land creatures that appeared underwater without the special gear, such as cockroaches, crickets, flies, pet dogs, human seniors, and a gorilla riding a zebra into the sunset (seen in "I Had an Accident"), and then files the case under "W" for "Wait...How is there a sunset if they're underwater?"
Who Kidnapped Gary? (Episode 23)[]
Episode 23 focuses on the kidnapping of Gary the Snail seen in the movie Sponge on the Run. The detective starts by detailing the facts of the case, that Plankton kidnapped Gary and took him to the lost city of Atlantic City. However, he then states there is evidence that the city was actually never lost at all.
- Exhibit A: The Bikini Bottom conspiracy. The detective points out that Atlantic City is filled with mysterious signs, such as "Cactus" or "Best gyro pizza OK." He goes on to reveal the strangest of these signs, a sign that reads: "The Krusty Krab." The detective asks why residents of Atlantic City would advertise a restaurant from a different city hundreds of miles away, before telling the viewer to ask Incidental 6 (named Tom) the chocolate guy, a known citizen of Bikini Bottom, who apparently does yoga in the Krusty Krab. The detective questions what he is doing lurking in a supposedly lost city, and then says that every single fish who ate at the Krusty Krab the day Gary was snail-napped can be caught following SpongeBob around Atlantic City. He wonders if the fish followed SpongeBob there, or if they lured him there. The detective also thinks about how they got to Atlantic City before SpongeBob, since it's not like they have strange supernatural powers.
- Exhibit B: Strange supernatural powers. The detective states that among the suspicious fishes stalking SpongeBob is a fish he names "strange bald fish wearing two gold chains." (or SBFWTGC for short) He goes on to say that like the other fish, SBFWTGC was seen entering the Krusty Krab the day Gary went missing, but unlike the other fish, he was sighted entering the Krusty Krab again just under one second later. The detective then brings up another fish wearing a golden key, who can be spotted loitering behind SpongeBob when he was driving a dolphin, but shortly afterwards golden key guy is also seen driving a bus. And later, he passes by SpongeBob's game of roulette, and then less than a second passes, and he appears again. The detective notices that golden key guy can be spotted all over Atlantic City, always keeping a close eye on SpongeBob. Finally, the detective turns back the clock to SpongeBob's childhood at Camp Coral, and spots a fish wearing a gold belt that can only be seen from the back of the head. He identifies him as Tom the chocolate guy, before showing that Tom also appears elsewhere at the same time. The detective makes a connection between the three mysterious strangers - they're all wearing something made of gold. He questions if this is simply a coincidence or is it the gold itself that gives the three fish their strange powers. The detective asks how these ordinary citizens managed to get their fins on such supernatural gold.
- Exhibit C: The true mastermind. The detective wonders if everything that happened was actually planned by a secret puppet master pulling all the strings. He tells the viewer to take a closer look at Atlantic City, a city whose image is all about happiness, excitement, and fun. "What doesn't fit in here? What one building actually promotes misery, anguish, and suffering? How about Davey Jones Locker?" The detective then tells the viewer to this time look at SpongeBob's time in Goner Gulch and asks them what stands out against against the sea of yellows, browns, and reds. He reveals that it's a strange green glow shining on SpongeBob, even though there isn't a green light source anywhere. The detective then points out that at the beginning of SpongeBob's journey, a "giant flippin' pirate ship" is visible that just happens to be full of an endless supply of gold. The detective thinks that this could be the same gold used to grant those three citizens supernatural powers. He then states that everything discovered so far in Exhibit C, the pirate ship, the collection of cursed treasure, the distinct green glow, and the buiding named "Davey Jones Locker," all connect to the Flying Dutchman, everyone's favourite undead pirate. The detective also mentions that at the start of their journey, SpongeBob and Patrick encounter at Goner Gulch an entire saloon full of undead pirates. He wonders if they used their ghostly powers to transport some Bikini Bottomites to Atlantic City, if they provided the cursed pirate gold giving some of those citizens strange powers of their own, and if they were casting that famous undead pirate green glow as they secretly guided SpongeBob every step of the way. The detective has one final question, which is why those undead pirates are so heavily connected to the plot to kidnap Gary the Snail.
The detective states that while we may never know the truth about the strange citizens, the mysterious gold, or the motives of the undead pirates, he knows one thing for sure, which is that deep within the scenes of the movie Sponge on the Run lay the answers to all those questions, and finally asks the viewer if they can find them.
Ian Vazquez[]
"As someone who's on the show I can say they're officially just a redesign of the old parents (his dad even still has the same voice) into...stars! I just love coming up with these ridiculous explanations for it is fun."
—Ian Vazquez[3]
Season 4[]
What is the Realistic Fish Head Hiding? (Episode 24)[]
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WHO Has A Secret Obsession with Patrick? (Episode 25)[]
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Shorts[]
who is Tom the Robot... REALLY?![]
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how does Sandy's Tree Dome... work?[]
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Trivia[]
- Episode 1 Incidental 27 is mistaken for a woman.
- Episode 4 reveals that Incidental 41 lives in a trailer park (whereas before it just showed a single trailer).
- Episode 9 suggests that Incidental 6 flipped out over not having his Diet Dr. Kelp with his pizza in "Pizza Delivery." However, it was confirmed that that was not him, it was the customer who looks like him.
- Although, it's possible that this episode premiered before this was confirmed.
- The theme music to the show is Duck and Undercover by Peter McConnell, and the opening theme is Are We There Yet by Billie Ray Fingers, Bruce Fingers, and Bobby Tahouri. Part of the Program by Joshua Klein also plays in the show.
- On September 2, 2020, the SpongeBob SquarePants Official YouTube channel hosted a live-stream marathon containing all episodes of the show.
- Episodes, including the ones past episode ten, can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/BikiniBottomMysteries/episodes/?ref=page_internal
- Man Ray's name is misspelled as "Manray" in the captions for Episode 12.
- The show sometimes identifies certain characters by color.
- Episode 20 can only be found on the official Facebook page, as it can't be found on YouTube. Oddly, Episode 21 was released on YouTube but not Episode 20 yet.
- Episode 23 is the first episode of the series to end without a bonus mystery.
- Incidental 9 and Incidental 49 were the only incidentals in the series that were given names that were said but unspecified in an actual episode, with Incidental 9 being called “Henry” (said but unspecified in "Hall Monitor") and Incidental 49 being called “Norma” (said but unspecified in "Good Ol' Whatshisname").
- Episode 24 references other SpongeBob web series like The Bikini Bottom Inquirer and SpongeBob DocuPants.